Okay, so I was on the fence about bringing this up at all since I have been a bit remiss lately about being able to offer you guys my best effort in Dragon Laffs because of how busy I’ve been and what’s been going on in my life, but the deal was that I would continue doing this as long as the donations came in to cover the expenses.  

September is the month where the bills come due and I had forgotten all about it until I got an email from WordPress reminding me.  Honestly, I thought they were supposed to give me a 30 warning, not a two day warning, but it’ll be okay.

This may be my only plug for donations and either I get enough to cover the bill and we continue to struggle along for the foreseeable future or I don’t and we … I don’t know.   A buck or two from everyone would do it.  It costs more than that to get a cup of coffee.

You can go to the website at dragonlaffs.com and on the right hand column towards the top, just a little bit down you’ll see this:

If you click on that on the web page it will take you to the paypal site to donate.  Or if you want, you can just click HERE and it will take you to the same place.  Now, I’ve been using that for donations for … oh … I don’t know … fifteen years or so, but I understand that there are some people who just don’t like to use paypal or credit cards or numerous other things.  If you are one of them and would like to send something by snail mail or even … let me think of some of the other ways I’ve done this with people … um Venmo, although I don’t have a CLUE how to set that up, Zelle with someone once, I can’t think of anything else, but if you want to try something let me know or if you want my address, email me at impishdragon@dragonlaffs and I’ll respond because obviously I’m not going to post my address here so all the people I’ve ticked off can burn something on my front lawn or shoot at me as I leave for work in the morning.

Anyway, there’s my bid.  It’s time to donate if you guys want.  I’d appreciate it a lot.  I do work hard on this and your thanks and nice words are more important to me than your money by far!  But, your help paying the bills sure doesn’t hurt. 

Now let’s laugh.

The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. “Darling, whatever is the matter?” he asks.

“Sweetheart,” she sobs, “the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering the phone,” she sobbed again, “I found that the cat had eaten it!”

“Don’t worry, darling,” said her husband. “Don’t cry. We’ll get a new cat in the morning…”

This sign not seen in Indiana

Montana  Law

It is a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail

I was shopping the other day and wound up face to face with this drop dead gorgeous blonde. Talk about *built*.

I couldn’t help but just stare, leer and lust might be better words, at her, so much so that my mouth damn near dropped open and I was almost drooling. 
– 
The blonde caught me staring and rightly suspected I wasn’t just admiring her outfit. – She said, “Are you often troubled by indecent thoughts?” 

Smiling, I replied, “No, ma’am. Not troubled at all. Actually, to be completely honest, I rather enjoy them.”

Granny was visiting town for the first time. She checks in at the hotel, and the bellboy takes her bags. She follows the boy, and as the door closes, she looks around and shakes her fist at him.

“Young man, I may be old, and straight from the hills, but that don’t mean I’m stupid! I paid good money, and this room won’t do at all! It’s too small, and without proper ventilation! Why there’s not even a bed!”

The bellhop looks at her and says, “Ma’am, this isn’t your room, it’s the elevator.”

That they felt they had to put up a sign because it happened that often is amazing to me.

Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?

Doctor : Let me tell you a story: “There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went. One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him. In order to scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lion, then it died!

Guy : Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the Lion..

Doctor : Good! You understood the story. Next patient please..

That would make a GREAT wedding band!

My daughter asked me one time, “Daddy, before you married Mommy, who told you how to drive ?” 

Passing an office building late one night, a pale-haired woman saw a sign that said “Press bell for night watchman.” 

She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs. 

The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door. 

“Well,” he snarled at the blonde, “what do you want?”

“I just wanted to know why you can’t ring it for yourself.” 

Again, no theme, no undertones, just in order as they are lined up in my files.  Just because I don’t want to try and figure it out.

Me too

And you could say the same thing about Trump’s Personality test

A guy was in New York on a business trip and decided to head to a local bar for a drink. Standing outside the bar was a nun holding a tin cup. 

As the man threw a few bucks into her cup the nun launched into a long tirade about the evils of alcohol. She went on and on about how alcohol was tearing apart the fabric of society and how it was the root of all the city’s problems. 

Slightly pissed off at having to listen to this the guy said, “Listen sister, I work hard for my money and sometimes at the end of a long day I like a drink or two. That doesn’t make me a bad person. I have a wife I idolize and two wonderful kids at home. I provide for my family, I volunteer my time to several local service clubs and I contribute regularly to various charities. Yet you stand here and condemn me just because I drink the occasional glass of scotch!” 

The nun was slightly taken aback and replied, “I see your point my son and I apologize if I offended you but the alcohol is such a powerful demon that all who consume it are doomed…” 

“Look there you go again,” said the man, “How can you make such a sweeping statement. Have you ever even TRIED alcohol?”

“Of course not!” gasped the nun, “The evil alcohol has never touched my lips.” 

“Do you really think that one glass of booze can change you from a devout nun to some kind of evil degenerate?” 

“Well, I really don’t know ….” 

“I’ll tell you what, come into the bar with me and I’ll buy you a drink. One drink. I’ll prove to you that “evil” is not inside the glass, it’s inside the person.” 

“Oh I could never be seen going into such a den of inequity, it’s out of the question. However, your comment about evil residing in the person rather than the glass is quite intriguing. I must admit you’ve aroused a curiosity in me.” 

“Well let’s go inside and settle this” 

“No my son, I could never enter such a place… but how about this. Take my tin cup with you and fill it with this “scotch” you mentioned. Bring it out to me and I’ll try it.” 

“You’re on!” said the guy. 

The nun removed all the change and handed him the tin cup. He went into the bar and said to the bartender, “Two scotch on the rocks, and could you put one of them in this tin cup please” 

The bartender sighed and said, “Is that nun out there again?” 

This one is really quite interesting…

And that’s it for this issue my friends.  I hope you enjoyed it.  See you next time.