It’s Friday night and I finally have a night off and it looks like I made it through the week without the DNC melting down and my base getting a bunch of unwanted excitement.  So, praise and thank God for THAT!

I am so incredibly far behind on sleep and chores and homework and preparation and … and … and … my “To Do” list looks like a set of encyclopedias.

But, we made it.  Nothing hit the trash barrel and no one got hurt, so we’re doing well.

I had my first FBI class last night and it was AWESOME!!!  Oh, FBI is NOT Federal Bureau of Investigation, at least, not in this instance.  Nope, in this instance, FBI is 

Faith Bible Institute.  A three year, six semester college level bible study course.  It is intense.  Homework for every night, tests, the whole nine yards.  I joined in the 6th semester…the last one, but you can start anywhere, in the spring of 2025, I’ll go to semester one and then go through five and I’ll graduate…with an accredited degree (kind of).  If I take 6 elective courses over the three years, I’ll get a REAL degree.  This is John Yates, the guy who’s teaching the class through DVD or online.  We are in a classroom, with an instructor, but most of the actual course material is given from John.

This one is just for me!

So, it’s getting close to my bed time, so let’s get some laughter in here before I hit the pillow and sleep in late tomorrow.  I have a lot of stuff to catch up on this weekend.

Izzy has had her driver’s evaluation for her training with the specialized instructor.  We won’t know yet whether she has been accepted or not for probably another week or so, but I think it looks good.  Anyway, she … what’s that?  Why does she need a specialized instructor?  Well, two reasons really, first and foremost, she is what is called a high-functioning autistic person.  She has a great deal of anxiety because of it.  I honestly think that she could probably just climb in a car and drive if she was by herself, but sadly, she has to pass the driving test.  She aced the written.  And the second reason is me.  I can’t be her instructor.  We tried that and I intimidate her.  I don’t do it on purpose, but she spends the whole time behind the wheel worrying about what I think and what I feel and whether or not she is disappointing me that she doesn’t pay enough attention to the road and she messes up which frustrates her and she becomes MORE worried about what I’m thinking and whether I’m mad or disappointed in her and pays even less attention to the road and…well, it spirals quickly out of control.  It doesn’t work between the two of us.  She want so much to please me…WHICH SHE DOES, but she’s so critical of herself, ESPECIALLY around me, that it’s problematic.  You wouldn’t recognize it in our day-to-day, but it’s there.  I see it.  She doesn’t.

Anyway, she says she wants to get these for the car…

She says, one for each of the four sides of the car.  LOL!

My favorite author of all time…my favorite FICTION author of all time.  I’ve read everything he has ever written at LEAST 4 times. I don’t necessarily agree with everything but I would love to sit down and argue with him about the stuff I don’t agree with.  I don’t know that I ever will get a chance to because I don’t know that he was saved.

Silly Warning Labels (part 1)

 “Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet.” — In the information booklet.
 “Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.” — On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
 “Do not use while sleeping.” — On a hair dryer.
 “Do not place this product into any electronic equipment.” — On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.
 “Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.” — On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.
 “This product not intended for use as a dental drill.” — On an electric rotary tool.
 “Caution: Do not spray in eyes.” — On a container of underarm deodorant.
 “Do not drive with sunshield in place.” — On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
 “Caution: This is not a safety protective device.” — On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.
 “Not intended for highway use.” — On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.
 “This product is not to be used in bathrooms.” — On a Holmes bathroom heater.
 “Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth.” — On a novelty rock garden set called “Popcorn Rock.”
 “Caution: Hot beverages are hot!” — On a coffee cup.

Interesting statistics

Silly Warning Labels (part 2)

 “Caution: Shoots rubber bands.” — On a product called “Rubber Band Shooter.”
 “Warning: May contain small parts.” — On a Frisbee.
 “Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.” — On a birthday card for a 1 year old.
 “Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use.” — On a battery.
 “Warning: Do not use on eyes.” — In the manual for a heated seat cushion.
 “For use by trained personnel only.” — On a can of air freshener.
 “Keep out of reach of children and teenagers.” — On a can of air freshener.
 “Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you.” — On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.
 “Do not use as ear plugs.” — On a package of silly putty.
 “Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator.” — On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.
 “Not for weight control.” — On a pack of Breath Savers.
 “Theft of this container is a crime.” — On a milk crate.
 “Fragile. Do not drop.” — Posted on a Boeing 757.
 “Look before driving.” — On the dash board of a mail truck.
 “Do not iron clothes on body.” — On packaging for a Rowenta iron.
 “Do not drive car or operate machinery.” — On Boot’s children’s cough medicine.
 “For indoor or outdoor use only.” — On a string of Christmas lights.
 “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.” — On a child sized Superman costume.

Why is it always Bob?  At least this time it’s fairly good…

Silly Warning Labels (part 3)

 “Product will be hot after heating.” — On a supermarket dessert box.
 “Do not turn upside down.” — On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.
 “May be harmful if swallowed.” — On a shipment of hammers.
 “Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers.” — From a manual for an SGI computer.
 “Warning: May contain nuts.” — On a package of peanuts.
 “Do not eat.” — On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.
 “Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it.”
 “Not to be used as a personal flotation device.” — On a 6×10 inch inflatable picture frame.
 “Remove plastic before eating.” — On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.
 “Not dishwasher safe.” — On a remote control for a TV.
 “Do not put lit candles on phone.” — On the instructions for a cordless phone.

Made from plastic silverware

Jack, age 92, and Gill, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a chemist shop and Jack suggests they go in.

Jack addresses the man behind the counter:

“Are you the owner?”

The pharmacist answers, “Yes.”

Jack: “We’re about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?”

Pharmacist: “Of course we do.”

Jack: “How about medicine for circulation?”

Pharmacist: “All kinds”

Jack: “Medicine for rheumatism?”

Pharmacist: “Definitely.”

Jack: “How about suppositories?”

Pharmacist: “Yes”

Jack: “Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer’s?”

Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety. The works.”

Jack: “What about vitamins, sleeping pills, antidotes for Parkinson’s disease?”

Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”

Jack: “Everything for heartburn and indigestion?”

Pharmacist: “We do…”

Jack: “You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?”

Pharmacist: “All speeds and sizes.”

Jack: “Adult incontinence pants?”

Pharmacist: “Yes.”

Jack: “Then we’d like to use this store for our wedding present list!!

But, he’s going to get smarter by learning a lesson in … 3 … 2 … 1 …

One Sunday, when counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000.

It happened again the next week!

The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.

“Ma’am, I couldn’t help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate,” he stated.

“Why yes,” she replied, “every week my son sends me money and I give some of it to the church.”

The pastor replied, “That’s wonderful. But $1,000 is a lot, are you sure you can afford this.. How much does he send you”

The elderly woman answered, “$10,000 a week.”

The pastor was amazed. “Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living”

“He is a veterinarian,” she answered.

“That’s an honorable profession, but I had no idea they made that much money,” the pastor said. “Where does he practice”

The woman answered proudly, “In Nevada. He has two cathouses – one in Las Vegas, and one in Reno.”

What were they arrested for?  Maybe firing weapons inside of city limits or something.  There’s nothing that says you’re not allowed to shot AT someone that I know of.

Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young ‘pullets,’ and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
Fred’s favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all!
When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
To Fred’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Fred was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Brisbane City Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the “No Bell Piece Prize,” but they also awarded him the “Pullet Surprise” as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.
Vote carefully in the next election, you can’t always hear the bells.

My Trix are still in shapes…wait…HOLY COW!!!! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!?!  That means that Trix are only for kids and those that are kids at heart!!!!

Boy, ain’t that the

This one is from our dear friend Wouter in South Africa.  It is amazing and will … or SHOULD really make you mad!  Click here

This one is super cool.  I was going to take the time to cut each picture out, but figured it would be easier for you guys to just follow the link and view them yourself…

30+ Super Impressive and Well-Done Tattoos of Completely Bizarre Things – Tiffy Taffy : Tiffy Taffy

Since I didn’t remember a reference that mentioned part-time Christians, nor Full-time Devils, I looked up the reference…Be alert and of sober mind.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 (NIV)  So yeah…pretty close.

Yup!  This would be one of the places the police would HAVE to look for me if I ever disappeared.

Here is another awesome article sent in by Stephanie..

Photos That Are in Dire Need of Further Explanation

ANOTHER really good site from Stephanie!  She must have had a lot of time on her hands…and it won’t be the last!

34 intriguing images that need further explanation

That is SO cool.  A freestanding door in the middle of the yard…what an awesome idea.

Maybe because they’re all nuts!

Watching our country being destroyed by our own people is probably the saddest thing I’ve ever seen…

Remember that feeling you got when the second plane hit the twin towers and you realized what was going on?

You should have that exact same feeling right now.

Imagine…the year is 2025.
Your electric car won’t start for 48 hours because your status on social media was deemed too offensive.

“You know a Republican’s in the White House when he fires missiles into Syria, Drops a MOAB on ISIS, and Sunday’s BIG STORY is his tax returns.”

Coming to a 911 Dispatch Center near you!

Cue the horse laugh!

Remember:  When something goes wrong at the circus, they send in the clowns to distract the audience.  Well, something has gone terribly wrong with this circus, and the clowns are EVERYWHERE.

Again…and on the same topic…

35 Images That Require An Explanation – Funny Gallery

So, very, very true

The stairs on the Varosa Dam in Lamego, Portugal 

An origami model entitled “Assassin”, created purely by folding a single square sheet. 

A dress made entirely of porcelain, by artist Li Xiaofeng

The Quantum Sculpture, a sculpture that disappears in front of your very eyes, created by Julian Voss-Andreae 

Helmets used during the Medieval Ages designed with mustaches 

A 40,000-year-old rock painting in Australia, likely one of the oldest and believed to be depicting the large flightless bird, the Genyornis 

An aerial view of UNESCO World Heritage Site, La Lippe fort, in Elvas, Portugal 

An American in Scotland asked one of the locals, “Why do you call it a kilt?” 

The Scotsman replied, “Because we kilt the last bloke who called it a dress.”

And with that, we’re going to call it a day. 

I pray God’s Blessing on each and every one of you until we meet again.