So, thus begins a week from hell. Today is actually Friday that I am starting this one. I took the day off today because I had to.
I know, it seems a little weird to say that this starts a week from hell while starting a three day weekend, but hear me out.
First of all, you guys aren’t reading this until Monday, which is the start of the week. My three day weekend isn’t REALLY a three day weekend since I will be working the whole weekend, just at something other than my regular job. Here in just about an hour and a half I’ll be leaving the house to pick up the wood chipper to start chipping up that HUGE pile of brush in the backyard that I showed you a couple of issues ago, you remember that one, right? Well, this is what it looks like now all dried up: (as I get up from the computer and go out back and take a picture of a pile of scrap, lol)
I left the burn barrel in the picture for perspective. That’s a 55 gallon drum. Here’s a bit of a closer view:
It goes about as far back, if not farther as it is wide.
Anyway, that is going to start on Saturday, tomorrow, after Men’s Breakfast at 0730. Then Church on Sunday and more chipping if we don’t get it done on Saturday. Then return the chipper on Monday and work.
Work on Tuesday and the new Resiliency class Tuesday night.
Work on Wednesday, Bible study at lunch, Jail ministry Wednesday night.
Work on Thursday, FBI (Faith Bible Institute) Thursday night in another town for the first time. I think that’s a three hour class every Thursday.
Work on Friday, finish up getting ready to go out of town on Monday.
Sunday leave for Alabama for a week.
Unless something happens at the Democratic National Convention and then I’m not going anywhere because of … well … just because. So, let’s just say it’s going to be a fun week. So, what do you say we start laughing? I don’t know about you, but I need it.
If you don’t get this one, read John 11 & 12
Macgyver-Minded Officer Saves Kansas Toddler from Bottom of 10-Foot Hole with Makeshift Catchpole – (WATCH)
It’s a good article. The video is tough to get going, but definitely worth reading regardless of the video.
A West Virginia couple, both certified rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband “fixed.”
The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision–why after nine children, would they choose to do this?
The husband replied that they’d read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn’t want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby, because neither of them could speak Spanish!
Dan: “I’m a man of few words.”
Loz: “Yeah, I’m married, too.”
Aunt Betty
Boy, ain’t that the truth!
Stumpy prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party he was giving.
In his haste, however, he forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day.
He was worried about spoilage, but it was too late to cook up another batch.
He called the local Poison Control Center and voiced his concern. They advised Stumpy to boil the sauce again.
That night, the phone rang during dinner, and a guest volunteered to answer it. Stumpy’s face dropped as the guest called out,
“It’s the Poison Control Center. They want to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out.”
You know, I tend to believe that could be a true story. Poison control is like that. When my son, the Whelpling was about 5 years-old, he went through a time where he put EVERYTHING in his mouth. He drank gasoline (the kid across the street had some in a soda can that he was cleaning his bike with), aftershave (it smelled good), Inhaled flea powder (grabbed the cat after his sister had just shaken it all over the kitty) and baking powder (said kitty had peed on the bed and he threw himself on it and took a deep breath of the cloud of powder), took bites of numerous plants around the house, ate a thermometer, some of the glass included and at one point we thought he had taken a bite out of a tarantula spider on a dare from his sister (we were stationed in New Mexico at the time. I think we had called Poison Control like 10 times over a five month period. Anyway, we were sitting at home one Saturday afternoon and the phone rang. I answered it and the voice on the other end said, “Hi this is so-and-so from Poison Control. We haven’t heard from you guys for a while and we were just wondering how your son was doing?”
I laughed so hard. I said, “You just want to make sure that he’s still alive. You want me to put him on the phone for you?” Then she laughed and said no, that wouldn’t be necessary and basically told me that they have a habit of calling and checking on their “frequent flyers” (she didn’t say that, but I know that’s what we called them). So yeah, the above joke is perfectly plausible.
Responses to Avoid When She Says, “Do I Look Fat In This?”
“Not to Stevie Wonder.”
“Oh my god, yes. That’s why I’m screwing your best friend.”
“No way! You look *least* fat in that outfit!”
“No hablo ingles.”
“Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things balance out.”
“No, but taking it *off* sure does.”
“Okay, listen: What’s important is that you not focus in a negative way on the comparison I am about to make …”
“Not if you were traveling at the speed of light.”
“Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity.”
“Let me jog around to your front and take a look.”
“Holy Cow! A talking couch!”
And Impish Dragon says, “If you recognize him, you had a pretty good Saturday morning childhood.”
Just had this question today on the AFR trivia show…World’s largest animal.
Absolutely!
Too true…way too true…
Why didn’t I know this was a thing in my younger days?
That is an AMAZING picture!
His son doesn’t understand that he’s answering the question.
I really don’t think that’s going to work…
Stephanie? Leah?
Mr. Allen, a high-powered executive trying to impress a client in his office, flipped on his intercom switch and barked to his secretary, “Miss Hunter, get my broker!”
The client was impressed until he heard the secretary’s clear voice saying, “Yes, sir, stock or pawn!”
Montana, Helena Law
No item may be thrown across a street.
Some new ones and a bunch of old ones…still, all of them are funny:
SITUATIONS HALLMARK DOESN’T COVER
- I always wanted To have someone to hold,
Someone to love. After meeting you …
(Inside card) I changed my mind. - I must admit, You brought Religion into my life…
(Inside card) I never believed in Hell Until I met you. - As the days go by, I think how lucky I am…
(Inside card) That you’re not here
To ruin it for me. - Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go…
(Inside card) Will you take the knife from my back?
You’ll probably need it again. - Someday I hope to marry…
(Inside card) Someone other than you. - Happy birthday! You look great for your age …
(Inside card) Almost lifelike! - When we were together,
You said you’d die for me…
(Inside card) Now we’ve broken up, I think it’s time
To keep your promise. - We’ve been friends for a very long time…
(Inside card) What do you say we stop? - I’m so miserable without you…
(Inside card) It’s almost like you’re still here. - You are such a good friend
If we were on a sinking ship
And there was only one life jacket…
(Inside card) I’d miss you terribly
And think of you often. - Your friends and I wanted to do something
really special
For your birthday…
(Inside card) So we’re having you put to sleep. - Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, and
West Virginia). - Looking back over the years
We’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder…
(Inside card) What was I thinking? - Congratulations on your wedding day!..
(Inside card) Too bad no one likes your husband. - How could two people as beautiful as you…
(Inside card) Have such an ugly baby?
New husbands (snicker!) this is really good (chuckle!) advice. (Stifle a laugh!) It will work (ahem!) almost every time! [walking away laughing my head off]
Hmmm, ya think?
Picked up the chipper and the guy who picked up with me and I got it to my house and we had to play with it for a little while and we discovered a couple of things. Even though Outdoor Rec on base told us that the blades didn’t need sharpening…the blades needed sharpening. We chipped for about two hours and got about 10% of the pile done, just the two of us. But in those two hours we had to unjam the machine about ten times. And it really can’t handle anything larger than about 2 inches in diameter. Surprisingly, it doesn’t create as much chips as I thought it would. Here’s some pictures:
That’s the chipper
And that’s the chipper with Willow having to get in the picture.
That’s a picture of all the scrap that there is after, like I said, almost two hours of chipping.
There’s another angle of the scrap.
Here’s a look at how far some of the scrap flew!
And finally, a look at how much we got done. You can see where the dead grass and stuff starts as to where the pile used to be…so, like I said, I guess about 10%…in two hours for just the two of us.
Now, back to the show.
The athletes at the Paris Olympics
will be coming home soon and the
big question will be in this old song.
Scientists Identify 7 Stars That Could be Hosting a ‘Dyson Sphere’–the Sci-Fi Concept Turned Realistic Hypothesis:
https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/scientists-identify-seven-stars-that-could-be-hosting-a-dyson-sphere-the-sci-fi-concept-turned-realistic-hypothesis/
The only thing I have to say about this one…Stephanie, what in the WORLD made you look this up to begin with?!?!
Folks, just click HERE
Who remembers shoving as many teenagers as possible into a public telephone booth?
So, it’s Saturday night and the chipping is done…well, as done as it’s going to get. These friends of mine did an amazing job. Let me show you what it looks like now. Do you remember that great big pile that was next to my garage and under those trees? Well, no. I’ll get to the final picture at the end. First, so in-between pictures. Let’s start with this one:
This is two of my buddies working on the chipper, one of the many times it jammed. You can still see a pretty decent size pile to the right.
Another action shot, a couple hours into the action.
This is all that’s left of the HUGE pile of stuff and in the background, you can see the pile of shredded stuff to be burned another day, once it dries out for a few weeks. We also raked up the yard waste and added it to the pile.
And from the same angle as the original to show you the difference. I’ll give you the original again so you can tell.
I have some amazing friends!
A dear, dear friend of mine shared something on line that made such an impact on me. I cried. I wrote back to her and told her publicly, “You have NO IDEA how MUCH I NEEDED to read this. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” So now, I’m going to share with you, what she wrote. Well, to be honest, I don’t know if she wrote it or if she shared it. It sounds like her writing. She is a writer, also. But, here it is. Whoops. Now that I look closer, someone named Mark Weber posted it in December of 2023, so she just shared it, but still, it is wonderful
Don’t feel sorry for or fear for your kids/grandkids because the world they are going to grow up in is not what it used to be.
God created them and called them for the exact moment in time that they’re in. Their life wasn’t a coincidence or an accident.
Raise them up to know the power they walk in as children of God.
Train them up in the authority of His Word.
Teach them to walk in faith knowing that God is in control.
Empower them to know they can change the world.
Don’t teach them to be fearful and disheartened by the state of the world but hopeful that they can do something about it.
Every person in all of history has been placed in the time that they were in because of God’s sovereign plan.
He knew Daniel could handle the lions den.
He knew David could handle Goliath.
He knew Esther could handle Haman.
He knew Peter could handle persecution.
He knows that your child can handle whatever challenge they face in their life. He created them specifically for it!
Don’t be scared for your children, but be honored that God chose YOU to parent the generation that is facing the biggest challenges of our lifetime.
Rise up to the challenge.
Raise Daniels, Davids, Esthers and Peters!
God isn’t scratching His head wondering what He’s going to do with this mess of a world.
He has an army He’s raising up to drive back the darkness and make Him known all over the earth.
Don’t let your fear steal the greatness God placed in them. I know it’s hard to imagine them as anything besides our sweet little babies, and we just want to protect them from anything that could ever be hard on them, but they were born for such a time as this.
And to finish this off, the bible verse at the bottom of that great picture, Proverbs 22:6: Train up a child in the way he should go: And when he is old, he will not depart from it. (KJV). And why does this mean so much to me? I’m so worried about Izzy and my grandchildren, and this did ease my burden some.
At any rate.
May the peace of God be with you all until we meet again, my friends.
Dragon Laffs 
I thought the chipper did a pretty good job on its chore but the really old guys did a little better on theirs, considering the age difference.
lol, no doubt Jerry, no doubt.
I see a dead tree that needs cutting down. We paid a lot of money to have our neighbor’s huge trees cut back, and found we have a backyard! We have worried about those trees breaking or falling over, damaging our house, boat, whatever.
Did you know?: If your tree falls over into your neighbor’s yard, who has to pay? If it is dead looking like the one at the back of your yard, you do. If it is green, then you’re each responsible to take care of what is in your yard, because it is considered an act of nature.