It’s Saturday morning and I’m exhausted.  What an absolute crap filled night I had!  I’m REALLY getting tired of this.  Leg cramps, stomach upset, body aches…getting old is not for the weak!

I shouldn’t jump right in to Dragon Laffs and start out by complaining.  I really shouldn’t.  I sound like a little old grandma.  So, I need a timeout.

Okay, I’m back.  While I was gone, I started a load of laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, did a chore I had planned for later (straightened and cleaned a book shelf that I had been wanting to take care of).  This is what it looks like now:

The top row is all bibles, most of which I’ve gotten from Goodwill and are different versions.  Out of the frame is a big box of trash papers that are being thrown out.  Izzy and I have been doing our best to go through things, get rid of things and clean up things.  We have now brought 4 (?) I think it’s 4, car loads of stuff to the Goodwill.

Anyway, now that I’ve gotten myself in a better mood, whaddaya say we get some laughter going here?

Another shot of Izzy and Pepper.  Right after they both woke up.

An night with the Valkyries ~ Jose Miguel Picon Chimelis – Astronomy Photographer of the Year 2024 Aurorae

Who’s behind the mask?  That would have been your favorite dragon, in human form, of course, circa 1982, Spangdahlem, Germany.  

Again, you’ve got Impish, this time as a civilian, I’m the one on the  left.  A bit chunkier than the last guy was.  This would have been 2007 and although it looks like we’re on a moon somewhere, we’re actually at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri.

And this is today…, well, 2024 and the suits and gear we are wearing now.  I’m not in that picture, I’m teaching that class.  That’s one of my classes.

And this is what the future of Chem Warfare looks like.  This is the next-gen suit that they are playing with.  It looks so much more comfortable than what I started off with, oh those 40 or so years ago.

With that wonderful trip down memory lane and glimpse into the future, let’s now move on…

I need to make a public apology.

Now, I don’t normally make a big deal out of birthdays here in DL, if I know it’s your birthday, I’ll normally wish you a happy birthday off line or something like that, I might make mention of special ones here on the show, but when you’ve been friends with someone for as long as I’ve been friends with this person and shared as much as we’ve shared and then you go and COMPLETELY FORGET THEIR BIRTHDAY ALL TOGETHER, well, it at least deserves a public apology if not an outright public beating.

Yesterday was Stephanie’s birthday. Yesterday being Friday.  And I completely missed it!

And from there we move to…

And now we can…

Oh, I don’t … yeah, they look weird.

A young polar bear came into his den and asked his mother, “Mom am I a real polar bear?” 

“Of course you are.” His mother replied. 

The young polar bear asked his father. “Dad, am I a real polar bear?” 

“Yes, you are a real polar bear.” 

A week passed and the young polar bear asked his parents, “Are grandma and grandpa real polar bears?” 

“Yes” said his parents. 

Another week passed and the young polar bear asked his parents, “Are all my relatives real polar bears?” 

“Yes, they are all real polar bears.” said his parents. “Why do you ask?” replied his mother. 

“Because,” said the young polar bear, “I’m freezing! 

What a fantastic invention!  Well…

There’s a couple different ones on Amazon, none of which are Prime, none of which have good reviews, and none of which seem to work as advertised.  LOL!  Now, it doesn’t seem like a tough concept to get it to work correctly, so maybe the people who reviewed them are just idiots, but I normally tend to put a lot of faith in the reviews, so … buyer beware.

But it’s still a GREAT concept.

I A.I. generated that one.  I kinda like that one.

Have you been on the highways lately?

The Pope  decided to grant absolution to three sinners. The first person to come up was Richard Nixon. 

The Pope asked, “What is your sin?” 

“I hired people to break into the Watergate Hotel.” 

The Pope replied, “Kneel down. I’ll bless you and grant you absolution.” 

Next in line was Bill Clinton. “What was your sin, son?” 

“I cheated on my wife.” The Philanderer in Chief replied. “Kneel down, my son. I’ll bless you and grant you absolution.” 

A third person came up and the Pope asked, “What is your name?” 

“Monica Lewinsky.” The Pope stroked his chin. “Hmmmm….. Perhaps you should remain standing.” 

Created by Impish as “fantasy art with castle”  That’s pretty cool I think.

Grandpa:  You think it was windy?  Boy I tell ya, when I was a kid, it was once REALLY windy…
Grandkids:  How windy was it, Grandpa?
Grandpa: Why, it was so windy, it once blew the spots, right off my dalmation, George!

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a bell. 

Well, just go home and if the feeling persists, give me a ring.

If you have an iPhone, tell Siri very slowly

“I see a little silhouetto of a man”.

Trust me.  Just do it.

~ Pop Smith

Then if you do the same thing to Alexa, you will be so disappointed.  In fact, I found this video.  But don’t watch it until after you’ve done it yourself, if you can…

AND WHY IS IT ALWAYS…ALWAYS THE 10!?!?!?

Minnesota Law 

A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.

What could possibly have been the reason for coming up with THIS law?

I have one of these that my dad, Papa Dragon Most Senior carved for me…

I didn’t want my family to judge me so I walked past them with 2 cookies on my plate and 4 in my pockets.

The A-10 gun system.  I used to load them, fix them, and one actually had the audacity to try to kill me and several of my friends once by jamming and I had to fix the beast.

Yup…and I went out today, three times.  Once to ACE hardware, once to Walgreens, and once to Krogers grocery store.  All in the same trip.  But it counts as going out three times today.

The good bishop knew very well that not only did everyone in his small town look to him for an example, but that all too often, all eyes were on him as potential fodder for the local gossip mill, as well.

This could be wearing; but usually, he was able to provide the good example and escape the tattlers. One night, however, after a long, hard day, a social obligation beckoned on top of his church responsibilities, and he came to a sudden stopping place. 

His hostess, noting that he looked tired, asked with concern, “A spot of tea, Bishop?” 

“No, thank you,” he managed. “No tea.” 

“Ah,” she said. “Coffee, then?” 

“No coffee either, thank you.” 

In the spirit of triage, she leaned closer and murmured, “I could bring you a scotch and soda in an opaque mug?” 

“My dear, this is my last word: NO soda.” 

Supposedly, this is a menu that an Uber driver handed someone upon entering his vehicle…

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner.  No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

It’s true.

Years ago, when our daughters were very young, we’d drop them off at our church’s children’s chapel on Sundays before the eleven o’clock service. 

One Sunday, just as I was about to open the door to the small chapel, the minister came rushing up in full vestments. He said he had an emergency and asked if I’d speak to the children at their story time. He said the subject was the Twenty-third Psalm. 

But just as I was about to get up from the back row and talk about the good shepherd, the minister burst into the room and signaled to me that he would be able to do the story time after all. 

He told the children about sheep, that they weren’t smart and needed lots of guidance, and that a shepherd’s job was to stay close to the sheep, protect them from wild animals and keep them from wandering off and doing dumb things that would get them hurt or killed. 

He pointed to the little children in the room and said that they were the sheep and needed lots of guidance. 

Then the minister put his hands out to the side, palms up in a dramatic gesture, and with raised eyebrows said to the children, “If you are the sheep then who is the shepherd?” He was pretty obviously indicating himself. 

A silence of a few seconds followed. Then a young visitor said,” Jesus, Jesus is the shepherd.” 

The young minister, obviously caught by surprise, said to the boy, “Well, then, who am I?” 

The little boy frowned thoughtfully and then said with a shrug” I guess you must be a sheep dog.” 

The perfect title…addressed to all of those out there who are attending so called “Progressive Christian Churches”.  There ain’t no such thing.  The Church, the REAL CHURCH, has already progressed as far as it’s EVER going to progress.  READ THE BIBLE!

Okay, so today, I am going to search through the memes in my folder and pick out the ones that are the most current.  How does that sound?  When I get to about 12 of them, in the order that I find them, I’m going to quit.  That way I’m keeping my own opinion out of it.

Okay, so that one is a “little dated”.  Could have already happened.

That one’s not too dated.

THAT ONE is good ANYTIME!

How many is that?  13?  Wow!  I didn’t even get a good start through the file!  A few more to get rid of some more!  Let me see if I can find some for the other side.

That one was just TOO GOOD to let go by!!!

All of you idiots who are complaining about Project 2025, have any of you even read any of it, or are you just screaming along with the Twitter Idiots who are just proving my point of you all being idiots?

And yes, I have, very large portions of it. Not all of it, because not all of it interested me.

And finally, one that I think should be run every single issue:

Stephen B. sent me this next article with the subject line of:  WHEN WILL THIS STOP?

Transgender cyclists take top 3 spots in Washington women’s relay championship

I’m not getting it.  To me the top one still looks darker.

To the person who stole my camouflage jacket and my flip-flops…

You can hide, but you can’t run!

Middle Age in a Nutshell

Who cares if it looks good? I’m comfortable.
Has anyone seen my phone?
The scale … that cannot be right!
Did I already take my vitamins?
Huh, I wonder how I got this bruise …
Why is the print on these instructions so tiny?
$5 for a box of cereal? They raised the price and shrunk the box … such a racket!
Software update again? I don’t like updates.
Who in the world is calling me at 9:30 pm?
Sorry, I forgot what I was going to say.
Wait! What did I come in here for?
I could’ve sworn that was my password!

And it’s all downhill from there!

My personality is basically a mix between a needy 5 year old child who can’t control their emotions, a teenage rebel who makes poor life decisions, and an 80 year old who’s tired and needs a nap.

This one is called Miracle Match and if it doesn’t bring a tear to your eye, you have no feelings at all!

My gran sent me a joke text the other day and ended it with LMDO.  I sent a text back asking what “LMDO” meant? 

She replied, “Laughing My Dentures Out!!”

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other hs in their mouth.

And that’s it my friends.  Until next we meet…