Okay, so I was going to start out and apologize for unloading on you guys the other morning, but then I got so many messages of support and caring that all I can do at this point is say

And as tempted as I am to just leave it at that, you know I can’t do that.  You guys are really great.  I appreciate you all so very much.  

Depression is a horrible thing to deal with and it’s a battle that I fight all the time.  It does help when you know WHAT is causing the depression and it probably makes it a little easier, but it is still there.  When you spend your life in continuous pain and … well … you guys know the rest of it, I’m not going to belabor the point.  The fact is that sometimes it’s worse than others.  Doctor says to me, do you want to talk about medication for it (after asking me all the obligatory questions, right?  How often do you feel sad?  Do you ever feel like killing yourself?)  And no, for the record, I don’t ever feel like, consider, think about or any other verb you’d like to use with it, kill myself.  And the answer to the medication is always no, also.  I let them talk me into that right after Mary passed away and it was horrible.  Never again.

Anyway, here I am obsessing and I said I wasn’t going to.

So, let’s move along here and get to the good stuff.

It’s now Saturday night and I’m going to try to put together an issue for Monday. I worked today and I’m working tomorrow, but by the time I go to bed tomorrow night, there will be something to send to you guys.

So, for now, let’s

This is awesomely explained…

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. 

When the time came to present what they’d found, 

the first little boy the teacher called on walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down.

Puzzled, the teacher asked him what it was. 

‘It’s a period,’ he replied. 

‘I can see that,’ said the teacher, ‘but what is so exciting about a period?’

 ‘Darned if I know,’ chirped the little boy, ‘but this morning my sister was missing one, my mother fainted, my dad had a heart attack, and the boy next door joined the Navy!’

Signs on a Synogogue Bulletin Board 

Under same management for over 5773 years. 

Don’t give up. Moses was once a basket case. 

Shul committees should be made up of three members, two of whom should be absent at every meeting. 

Sign over the urinal in a bathroom at Hebrew University: “The future of the Jewish people is in your hands.” 

Okay, first question of the issue…if you saw someone wearing this shirt, would you think they were
1. Spelling challenged?
2.  Perverted?
3.  had a horrible sense of humor?
4.  Completely clueless?

Me at work

This is a picture from my church parking lot.  Keep in mind that my church is basically across the street and east of me by less than 800 feet (according to google maps).  These guys are west of the church, so they are virtually across the street from me.  When I tell you I live in “Rural Indiana” this is probably one of the best illustrations I can give you.  The guy across the street from me…you remember him, the one with the front door fetish…has free range chickens that run around his yard, front and back yard.  We live on a major state road that has a significant amount of traffic.  I have NO IDEA how those chickens have never been hit.  At least, I’ve never seen a dead chicken lying in the road.  I have had chickens on MY front porch!  Izzy and I were watching something on TV and there was a pause in the sound and all of a sudden we heard a “MOOOO” that was so loud we both jumped up to see if there was a cow in our front yard!  If there was, that baby was going in the BACK yard and I was making a phone call to a buddy to ask him how fast he could get over here with his trailer and get it butchered for me and we’d split the meat.

THOUGHTS TO GET YOU THROUGH ALMOST ANY CRISIS 

  Indecision is the key to flexibility. 
  
You can’t tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

 There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation. 

  Happiness is merely the remission of pain. 
 
  Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be. 
  
  Sometimes too much to drink is not enough. 
 
  The facts, although interesting are irrelevant. 
 
  The careful application of terror is also a form of communication. 

  Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.

  Things are more like they are today than they ever have been before.

  Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for. 

  Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

  Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. 

  I have seen the truth and it makes no sense. 

  If you think that there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody. 

  All things being equal, fat people use more soap. 

  If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. 

  One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday. 

   By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. 

  Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

  There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. 

  This is as bad as it can get, but don’t bet on it. 

  Never rassle with a pig. You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it. 
 
  The trouble with life is, you’re halfway through it before you realize it’s a ‘do it yourself’ thing. 

Have we REALLY reached this low as a human race?

Somebody complained or sued.

Do you recognize this team?  Anyone?  Let me see if I can help you out here…

Yeah, I don’t have a clue with this one.

1955

Just to give you a small idea of what I’ve been doing all week…

That’s the class that I teach, and that’s the back half of my classroom.

My wife is a determined but unsuccessful gardener.  More of her plants die than bloom, yet she never seemed to notice. 

Or so I thought–until one day when she was heading to the backyard with newly purchased plants. 

The phone rang, and I heard her say to a friend, “I was just heading outside to bury some flowers.” 

WHY IS IT ALWAYS BOB!?!?

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. 
Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

Okay, according to the website that I finally found this thing on, they say that D, C, and B all die.  But I’m throwing the red challenge flag.  The correct answer (my answer) is that the only definite death is D.  C only dies if the stones aren’t the same size and made of the same material or the lever is so thin that it breaks with the weight of the upper stone and kills him that way.  B should never die since there is not enough momentum or downward force on the right side of the lever to lift the left side of the lever high enough to throw the other stone over the side of the wall.  Dissenting views?

Missouri Laws
 
Single men between the ages of twenty-one and fifty must pay an annual tax of one dollar (enacted 1820).

Whatever you do, DO NOT hire this construction crew.

They quoted me $800 to prep and form this driveway to be widened.

They have been working for 3 months and are just moving dirt from one pile to another.

The supervisor has not been helpful and keeps telling me to get away from the equipment. I told him I would be contacting a lawyer and he said he doesn’t care because he is really Spider-Man.

I definitely recommend avoiding this contractor and finding a reputable one that is at least over 5 years old.

That one hit awfully close to home.

I want to take a second to say something.  Thanks to Leah for giving us those great videos that we just watched, but it reminds me of something.  Stuff that I say at the end of my class each time I give it.  I’d like to share that with you guys real quick and then I need to wrap this up because I have to get to bed so I can get up and get back to work.  You know, each of those Veterans, each of those guys who sit in my classroom, the older ones and even the teenagers (and yes, I have a few teenagers in my class) at one point in their lives we all raised our right hands and we solemnly swore to give up everything, including our own lives, for people who have no idea what it is we do.  You know that only 8% of the population ever become associated with the military.  I know that when I raised my hand, I thought about my family and my friends and my loved ones.  Even though my oath of service will never expire and even though I have one of those civilian jobs where I can get deployed, it’s doubtful at my age that they’re going to call me up.  So, right now, all those men and women in my class are promising to give up their lives for MY family and MY friends and MY loved ones.  I can’t allow them to be in my classroom without taking the opportunity to say “Thank You.”  And all of you out there reading this…if you are part of the 92% that are standing behind the 8% who have offered to put THEIR lives in front of yours and between you and the evilness in this world… well, maybe you ought to give them a HEARTFELT thank you sometime, also.

There was only one other man who ever died to give you more than the American Military Member has offered to do.  Jesus Christ offered to save your soul for eternity.  We only offered to save your body while your here on earth.  But we’re doing what we can.  

Until next time my dear friends.  May God Bless you with Love and Happiness.