Good Morning Campers,

It is drawing me again.  I can hear the Spirit calling to me to write more.  The last article is finished, or at least I thought it was…it is…but is it just an article?  Part of a booklet?  A chapter in a book?  A book of articles?  Does it all tie together with some of the other stuff I’ve written?  I wish I could share it with you guys, but it’s a bit long to put here in Dragon Laffs.  I was wondering about starting another website just to try out that sort of thing, but then would I just be satisfied with posting stuff there and not try to put it out further?  

Every website/Christian Magazine that I’ve looked at so far has either not responded to me or espouses the same opinions that I am critical of.

But, the Spirit is telling me to write…so I will write.

And I will talk and visit and laugh and comfort with and to you guys.  Maybe I will post my current article in two or three parts for you guys in my Last Word section.  Maybe.

Wow!

A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car.

After the purchase, they drove it home and parked it on the street between them.

A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their new car. It didn’t need a wash, so he hurried out and asked the priest what he was doing. “I’m blessing it,” the priest replied.

The rabbi considered this a moment, then went back inside the synagogue.

He reappeared a moment later with a hacksaw, walked over to the back of the car and cut off two inches of the tailpipe.

The room service waiter at the Naples Ritz Carlton, after setting up a table for an elaborate dinner for two, asked, “Will there be anything else, sir?”

“No, thank you,” the gentleman replied. “That will be all.”

As the waiter turned to leave, he noticed a beautiful satin negligee on the bed. “

Anything for your wife?” he asked.

“Yeah! Now that you mentioned it, that’s a good idea,” the gent said.

“Can you please bring up a postcard!”

“Sex education has its own special problems,” an instructor in the field pointed out to me. 

“One of my students has become pregnant, and I don’t know whether to flunk her or give her extra credit.” 

I think I might just be in Love!

This is very cute!  Thanks Joe for the video and I agree with your comment.

Here’s another cool one that I thought you’d like…

Boy ain’t that the truth.

“Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.”

Albert Camus (1913 – 1960)

Life Insurance is something that keeps a poor man poor all his life so he can die rich.

This is a GREAT shirt sent in by Pop Smith

Maine Law

You may not step out of a plane in flight.

 The teacher asked her class, “What do you want out of life?”

A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, “All I want out of life is four little animals”.

The teacher asked, “Really and what four little animals would that be, sugar?”

The little girl said, “A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed and a jackass to pay for it all.”

The teacher fainted

As soon as she had finished convent school, a bright young girl named Lena shook the dust of Ireland off her shoes and made her way to New York where before long, she became a successful performer in show business.   

Eventually she returned to her home town for a visit and on a Saturday night went to confession in the church, which she had always attended as a child. 

In the confessional Father Sullivan recognized her and began asking her about her work. 

She explained that she was an acrobatic dancer, and he wanted to know what that meant. 

She said she would be happy to show him the kind of thing she did on stage.  

She stepped out of the confessional and within sight of Father Sullivan, she went into a series of cartwheels, leaping splits, handsprings and back flips. 

Kneeling near the confessional, waiting their turn, were two middle-aged ladies. 

They witnessed Lena’s acrobatics with wide eyes, and one said to the other: “Will you just look at the penance Father Sullivan is givin’ out this night, and me without me bloomers on!” 

Michael: “I think that the cute little pharmacist down at the pharmacy  is stuck up.”

Roy: “Why do you say that?”

Michael: “Well, I ask her out every month when I go in to get my herpes and hemorrhoid medicines, but she just looks at me like I’m a leper or something.”

THINGS NOT TO SAY ON YOUR VALENTINE’S DATE

Nice outfit. Is that a wonder-bra?

I really don’t like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.

No wine for me tonight. My urologist says it’s not good to mix alcohol and penicillin.

I used to come here all the time with my ex.

I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn’t hurt to consider it.

Could you excuse me?  My cat gets lonely if he doesn’t hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.

I really feel that I’ve grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn’t have given someone like you a second look.

And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest.

I know you said you don’t eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask.

It’s been tough, but I’ve come to accept that most people I date just won’t be as smart as I am.

I want this guy as MY doctor!

Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were  spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.

The first thing Daisy asked was,  “Do you have a condom?”

Donald frowned and said, “No.”

Daisy told Donald that if he didn’t get a condom, they could not have sex.

“Maybe they sell them at the front desk,”  she suggested.

So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms.

“Yes, we do,” the clerk said and pulled a box out from under the counter and gave it to Donald.

The clerk asked, “Would you like me to put them on your bill?”

“Thit No!” Donald quacked,  “I’d thuffocate!” 

Yup, figured that one out a while ago…

I miss mean tweets and world peace…

This is a really good spot to put in this one that brother Sasquatch sent me.  Read this one closely and then read it again.  For all your friends out there who think that taking guns away from everyone will solve all the problems and for all the ones that think that stricter gun control laws will solve all the problems.  Izzy Dragon was one of those and then I read her this and we talked about it and she had her eyes opened…not all the way, yet.  But it’s a start.  Thanks, my hairy brother.

Why You Need a Gun

A couple years ago I was working security at a bar in northern Virginia. I overheard a table of college kids arguing about gun rights and gun control and it was getting far too emotional so I did what any sane combat veteran would do and attempted to exfiltrate. I must not have withdrawn as surreptitiously as I intended, because I was stopped in my tracks when a 5-foot-nothing brunette seemingly leapt in front of me and blurted out “excuse me, can you help us?”

I’m sure I must have looked irritated as I cycled through the possible quips and excuses I considered available to me, but being uncertain that she wasn’t some Senator’s daughter, I caved: “What’s up?”

She basically leads me to this table of 2 other females (probably both named Karen) and a very soft looking male.

Becky: “So, we were just talking about current events and, you know. So, you look like you’re probably in the military, right? Like the Army?”

(When you accuse someone of being in the military, you probably don’t need to give an example)

Me: “Similar.. yeah”

Becky: “Right. Okay. So, do you think civilians should be allowed to own guns?”

Me: “Most of us. Yes.”

Becky: (clearly not happy with my answer) “Okay, so, why do you think you need a gun?”

(At this point it’s almost 2am and I’ve just given up on patience. Hold my beer)

(So I said with intentionally overt condescension): “Oh, honey, I don’t. I don’t need a gun.” Becky stares at me blankly, so I continue, but with a more serious tone: 

“I could follow you home, walk up your driveway, and beat you to death with the daily newspaper.

I could choke you to death with that purse.

I could take a credit card, break it in half, and cut your throat open with it.

With enough time and effort I could beat your boyfriend here senseless with a rolled up pair of socks.

I could probably dream up six dozen other ways I could easily end your life if you gave me an hour or so.

If I wanted to, I could wrap my hand around that beer mug and kill all four of you before you could make it to the exit. The worst part is, in your utopian little fantasyland, there ain’t a single thing any of you could do about it.

I don’t need a gun.

YOU need a gun.

You need a gun because of men like me.”

Call me a jerk, but if you want to keep your guns, these are the conversations we all need to start having.

The gun is the first weapon not dependent upon the strength of its operator for its efficiency. God made big men, and God made little men (and women), and Smith & Wesson/Colt/Ruger/SA make the equalizer for them all.

And that is probably the very best example I’ve heard in a long time as to why we should be arming most everybody in America.  That is why we have an armed security team at our church every Sunday.  And I heard today, at church, that there are states…or the federal government (I’m not sure which) that are trying to make laws to make it illegal to form armed security teams at churches. I’m not sure HOW they can do that, but they are doing so many other anti-Christian things, that it wouldn’t surprise me. 

You ask me, “What anti-Christian things?” 

Okay, how about the fact that that people are getting arrested for FELONY discrimination charges for doing a burnout on a painted LGBTQ…whatever sign or flag in an intersection and others who destroy and burn churches are released with a warning?  How about the fact that burning the American Flag is an act of free speech and again, burning the LBG alphabet flag is a hate crime?  They are coming for us, my friends. 

The democrats next choice?

This is a cool story sent in by our own dear Stephanie.  Especially if you are in to 60’s and 70’s rock.  The True Story of The Fake Zombies….https://www.buzzfeed.com/danielralston/the-true-story-of-the-fake-zombies-the-strangest-con-in-rock

Another cool site from Stephanie

The Waterman Arrowbile – Waldo Waterman was the first American to make a true flying car

Click Here

I think I’ve mentioned before how intrigued I am with submarines…this one is pretty cool

Sadly, that has to be it for today my friends.  Until next time, whenever that might be.  I’ll try to keep you informed one way or the other.  God Bless you all until we meet again.