It’s Friday.  Yesterday.  And I finally have a day off.  Actually, I was going to go to the hospital this morning…no!  Not for anything like that!  To get some lab work done.  But, I kinda blew it off.  So, instead, I’ve just been sitting here, doing … stuff.  Catching up on reading, catching up on emails, catching up on other correspondences, that sort of stuff.

I finally heard from the lawyers in Florida and have started making headway on the estate.  I may have mentioned this in the last episode. I got emailed 6 official documents to sign.  They had to be, as the lawyer said, ink signed.  One had to be notarized.  Then they all get scanned back in and emailed back and all get put in the mail and the hardcopies get mailed back.

So, I emailed everything back and when I heard that they got everything in good shape then I would put everything in the mail.  So, they write back to me and tell me I have to take the notarized one back to where it was notarized and have the person who notarized it mark a box that she failed to mark that says whether the individual (me) signed in her presence or not.  Put a little X in the box.  I guess there is a way to do notary on line now?  I thought the whole idea of having something notarized was that the person who was a notary, who’s reputation was supposed to be above reproach, swore that they KNEW, either through personal recognition, photo identification, SOMETHING … that you were who you said you were and that you signed that document right in front of them.  How could you possibly do that on line?

Anyway, so my first thought was, “Why don’t they just check the box themselves?”  Then I thought, “Actually, that’s a really good thing that your lawyer has that much integrity that they wouldn’t even do that.”  Then I thought, “Well, why don’t I just check the box, rescan it and email it back, myself.”

… ?

… !

“Because,” I thought, “then I wouldn’t have as much integrity as the lawyers that I was just congratulating myself on having hired.”  So, I went back to the bank and explained the situation, had the really nice lady there check the box, thanked her very much and walked back out.  

And that pretty much describes what’s going on with the lawyers.  Or in other words…I have no idea, but it IS moving forward.

And a really nice comment from Evan follows…

Our dear Stephanie has been finding cool websites for us again.  This one is a list of conspiracy theories:https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_conspiracy_theories

This next one is scary as heck.  And it makes me want to gather up some people and try it myself.

Trained hunting dragon

This one is extraordinarily interesting.  Very long, but quite good.  Thanks to Leah for sending us this.

Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friends house.

Knowing his sweet tooth Tommy’s mother looked straight into his eyes and said, “I hope you didn’t ask for a second piece of cake.”

“No,” replied Tommy, “but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces without me asking.”

TEENAGER (NOUN)

1) A mammal found extensively throughout the planet, often clustered in groups in front of television sets (See SLOTHS). Thought to be a member of Homo Sapiens due to physical similarities, though social and emotional behavior leads many researchers to consider Teenagers to be a completely different species altogether (See PARENTS) Very territorial. (See ITS MY ROOM STAY OUT OF MY ROOM.)

Teenagers are extraordinarily social animals, seeking contact with their peer groups to such a great extent they will forgo family, chores, food, and responsibility (See FATHERS, QUOTATIONS OF). The males of the species forage for food constantly (See MCDONALD’S) and can consume three times their weight every day. When in full plumage, the males are usually drab, marked by loose fitting garments which slide off their backsides and look ridiculous (See FATHERS, QUOTATIONS OF).

The females, on the other hand, sport striking colors under their eyes, throughout their hair, and on the tips of their fingers. Females often attract males by wearing garments to accentuate chest development (See WONDER BRAS). Males indicate their approval by staring at the display (See FATHERS, HEART ATTACKS OF). The call of the female is complex and shrill, “Like, O m’ Gosh! O m’ Gosh!” Males are less vocal, signaling to other males with a salutatory, “Yo. Yo. Yo. S’up? S’up? S’up?”

Teenagers line their nests with discarded undergarments. The females hold telephone receivers to their ears an average of six hours a day. When challenged for possession, they snarl and warn intruders, “I’m doing my HOMEWORK. My HOMEWORK. My HOMEWORK.” The males lie immobile for hours at a time, conserving energy and listening to violent electronic signals from radios.

Male Teenagers concentrate on important information (See FATHERS, LECTURES OF) by rolling their eyes, shrugging, kicking dirt, and sighing. Females burst into tears and slam doors. Many Homo Sapien families have a host-to-parasite relationship with one (See STRESS) or more than one (See EXTREME STRESS) Teenager. These host families often develop a resistance to the parasite, rejecting them some time in the eighteenth year of life.

Often, though, this rejection is merely theoretical, with the Teenager continuing to live off of the host Homo Sapiens family for many years afterward, often at great sacrifice (See COLLEGE).

2) Of, relating to, and especially EXPLAINING irrational, intolerable, or inexplicable behavior. (“She’s a Teenager.”)

3) A request for sympathy, offered by adult parents to each other in support. (“I have a Teenager at home.”) Often accompanied by sighs, headshaking, tongue clucking, and shoulder shrugging.

Birthday cake is the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece.

– Bobby Kelton (c1939-)

There’s a fairy tale going on here or something.

I’m going to have to get me one of those signs.

Many, many times.

Hans and Stein were playing in their yard in Zurich when one of the boys accidentally swallowed a coin and started choking.

Hans ran inside to get help, yelling “Mom! Dad! Come quick!

There’s a Franc in Stein!

Kansas Law

If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.

A lovely young single girl was employed by a clothing firm in New York. She and her widowed mother shared the same ambition; marriage to a wealthy man. One day she returned from work, eyes red from crying.

As soon as she entered the apartment she called, “MAMA, I’m pregnant! Don’t get excited. The father is my boss.” She began to sob uncontrollably while her mother tried to console her.

The next morning, the mother charged into the office of the boss. “YOU,” she shouted, “What’s it going to be?”

The elegantly attired man, handsome and unmarried and in his mid thirties, held up his hand, “Please take a seat, Mrs. Howard. I’m making all the arrangements.  Your daughter will have the best doctor money can buy before the baby is born. She’ll be in the best hospital. And afterward, I am arranging for a trust fund for her where she will receive a check for twenty five hundred dollars a week.”

The  mother was taken aback and thought for a moment. “Tell me,” she said, “God forbid, she should have a miscarriage, will you give her another chance?”

I haven’t done it often, but I have done it.

Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”

Customer: “Ok.”

Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”

Customer: “No.”

Tech Support: “Ok.  Right click again.  Do you see a pop-up menu?”

Customer: “No.”

Tech Support: “Ok, sir.  Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”

Customer: “Sure.  You told me to write ‘click’, and I wrote ‘click’.”

I have met this customer so many times in so many different places…

When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child.

The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this: 

“Some parents,” she said, “tell the older child, ‘We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.’ But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, ‘Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.'” 

One of the women spoke up immediately. “Does she cook???” 

The father of a teenage daughter was concerned with the amount of time she spent on the telephone; not so much for the time she wasted (he had given up on that long ago), but because nobody else could use the phone.

So, as a happy solution, he had a telephone installed for her with her own private number and directory listing.

Two or three days after her telephone had been installed, he came home to find her stretched out on the floor with her feet on the living room couch and chatting away on the family telephone.

Her own telephone was resting silently on her dresser. “Why are you using our telephone,” he yelled. “Why aren’t you talking on your own telephone?”

“I can’t,” she said, “because I’m expecting an important incoming call on my phone.”

And I have raised THAT teenager.  As I think most of us have.

TOP 10 SIGNS YOU HIRED THE WRONG KID TO MOW YOUR LAWN

1. He shows up with a pair of nail clippers and a Ziploc bag
2. On the side of his mower you notice the stenciled silhouettes of 13 cats
3. Stops frequently to nap inside the grass-catcher
4. Always trying to impress you by stopping the mower blades with his head
5. You notice him shoving the last of his clothes into the mulcher
6. He’s fascinated by the details of you home security system
7. Stops every couple of minutes to smoke some clippings
8. Somehow manages to mow the hood ornament off your Lexus
9. Turns a goat loose and says he’ll be back in three weeks
10. No toes

“Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.”

– George Eliot (1819-1880)

That may be one of my all time favorite quotes.

In the 1930’s, a map-making company put a “phantom settlement” called Agloe on their map, a location that didn’t really exist, but was included as a trap to catch anyone plagiarizing their work.

Two decades later, Rand McNally put out a map that included Agloe as well, and the original company sought to sue them for plagiarism.  However, to their astonishment, a tiny settlement had actually come together at that location and named themselves Agloe after seeing that name on the map.

I caught my neighbor stealing my socks off my clothesline. 

I was going to confront him, but I got cold feet.

If you’re buying a watch from Amazon, BE WARNED.  I learned the hard way that if it says you can swim with it, this only applies if you can already swim without it.

Fact Of The Day:

First Baby in the Big House

President Grover Cleveland achieved many “firsts” in the White House during his term of office.  He was the first President to get married in the White House and he (and his wife Frances) was the first to have a baby born AT 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW.  To this day, no other child has been born in the White House.

New beginnings are
often disguised as
painful endings.

Happens to me ALL the time!

You only need to remember two things when you’re on Dragon Laffs.

1.  They’re just jokes.

2.  I don’t care if you disagree with me.

People landed on the moon before they figured out to put wheels on suitcases.  Macy’s sold its first wheeled suitcases in October 1970, and you surely know that Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon on July 20, 1969.

I’ve been saying that for years.

Before I close out for the night, I want to bring up one point point.  Today I found out that Joe Biden was determined to be immune from prosecution for mishandling of documents 8 years ago, when he WAS NOT the president and didn’t have the authority to even HAVE those documents.  Donald Trump IS being prosecuted for the same thing when he WAS president and DID have the authority to have those documents.  That’s not only selective prosecution, and a weaponized justice system (and illegal) it’s down right STUPID.  Now, why was it determined he was immune from prosecution?  Because 8 years ago he was an old man, mentally unfit, and probably didn’t know what he was doing.  That is what was determined.  And yet, we are supposed to believe 8 years later, that he is FIT TO HOLD THE KEYS TO THE NUCLEAR CODES?!?!  AND WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THAT HE IS THE ONE MAKING ALL THE DECISIONS AT THE WHITE HOUSE?!?!  They just admitted that 8 YEARS ago he was unfit.  They admitted it.  And yet, the democrats want us to believe that he is the best person to run our country.  THAT’S the best the democrats have to offer us.  

Are we not so incredibly ashamed of ourselves.  Just like when Jerusalem turned it’s back on God in the Old Testament and God sent so many different other countries to try to drive them back to Him…and it wasn’t until they got a Godly leader before things started going their way again.  We have to open our eyes and STOP listening to evil people.  They are not even TRYING anymore.  If he was incompetent 8 years ago, he’s incompetent more so NOW! 

I saw this picture on someone’s profile on Twitter … I’m sorry … X today and I copied it because it scared the ever living daylights out of me.  

May our dear Heavenly Father Bless you all with Love, Happiness, Laughter, and Comfort.  And may He Protect us all.  Until next time my friends.  Keep laughing.