Another Whelpling special…but the others that I have are a bit of the same, so this may be the last header featuring strictly the Whelpling art for a bit…unless he suddenly dumps some more on me…or someone else would like THEIR artwork featured (HINT!  HINT!)  (I really can’t be any more subtle than that!!!) 

Anyway, more snow on the ground…and to think I used to really like this stuff. 

I got my Wednesday Jail Ministry stuff all set up and ready to go, but I still need to get my Thursday Ministry stuff ready, and I have a doctor’s appointment Monday afternoon where I hope to be able to unburden myself to my doctor about a few things.  I need to finish this up today (Saturday) and tomorrow so that it will be available to you guys on Monday otherwise you won’t get it until Thursday.  If I can get it ready fast enough, I can work on Thursday’s … and therein lies the problem.  I’m not having enough time to do all of this at the same time.  So, I’m thinking I’m going to have to realign my Dragon Laffs delivery schedule.  Here’s how it sits right now:

Monday   Work   Dragon Laffs Publish

Tuesday   Work   

Wednesday   Work   Jail Ministry

Thursday   Work   Thursday Ministry   Dragon Laffs Publish

Friday   Work

Saturday   Dragon Laffs Publish

Sunday   Church

And on those weekends where I have to work, it REALLY throws a wrench into things.  I had a meeting with my counselor the other day.  Yes, I still do that, not on any kind of regular basis.  Our deal is that if she feels like it’s been too long and calls me and “suggests” a meeting, I say yes and make a time work.  If Izzy says, “You need to talk to your counselor (I won’t use her name because I don’t have permission to use her name and that’s my rule, although anyone who works on base knows who I’m talking about) then I take Izzy seriously and strongly consider setting up a meeting.  If I think I need a meeting, I call her and she makes a spot for me within a day or three.  Usually the next day and even on that day.

Anyway, as I was saying, I had a meeting with my counselor the other day that I called, first one in a little while and I told her about things and she told me that she was concerned because I wasn’t taking any me time.  I told her, “What are you talking about?  I do all kinds of stuff.  I’m busy all the time.”  She said, “Yeah, helping other people.  You’ve got the Wednesday night thing, the Thursday night thing, the Grief Group on base two Wednesdays a month at lunch time, bible study the other two Wednesdays a month, you’ve got a couple people you are grief counseling individually, you are on the security team at the church…” I interrupted and said, “yeah, but that’s like an hour…”  she interrupted me back and said, “Don’t interrupted me.  But it still takes time away from you.  Sure, you are busy and fulfilled and I can tell by talking to you about it that it brings you satisfaction, but it brings you satisfaction by helping other people.  When do you allow other people to help you?”

“You are still waiting on this estate stuff for your brother to go through, you just got sued and that didn’t go well at all for you, you had to put so much of your own life on hold, including your own TEETH so you can’t even eat properly.  You’re holding all this together by the skin of your teeth, that you don’t have I might add…”

“Very funny.”  I threw in.

“So I’m asking you, when is it your turn?”

So I sat there and I thought about it.  I thought about it for a lot longer than I thought I would.  I’ll tell you what I told her in a minute, but I’ll be honest with you guys, cause you’re family and loved ones and there’s very few people that I can share things with like I can share with you…I’m STILL thinking about it.  I’m thinking about it a lot.  And what I think, that I didn’t tell her, but what I’ll share, a little bit with you, just between us girls…

What else have I got to do?  That’s also why haven’t really pushed too hard for my retirement yet.  I think I NEED a reason to get up in the morning or I’m not sure I would.  In my personal life I’m really pretty lonely.  Most of my emotional interactions are right here, on line, and delayed.

What I told her was a bit like that, not as in-depth.  I know, I didn’t really go in depth with you guys, but you should have seen what I wrote and deleted and wrote and deleted and wrote and … you get the idea. lol.

Okay, and I am beginning to realize this is turning into a whine and not an opening, so let’s get back to the topic at hand and that of realigning the publication….

I take Saturday and Sunday to work on Monday’s issue.
Monday and Tuesday night to work on Thursday’s issue.
That only leaves Friday night to work on Saturday’s issue.

I will also use the weekend to get Wednesday night and Thursday night’s classes ready.

I don’t see as how I can do any better than that.  So…we’ll let it go for now and see how it plays out.  It was easier when Lethal Leprechaun was around.  We split the duties.  I had Saturday, he had Wednesday and we would throw out an occasional special issue here and there and it all worked out.

So enough of this verbal wondering in circles., let’s get to the other stuff.

I know, you are probably already tired of listening to me, but I wanted to share something with you before I forgot the math. 

Yes, we are going to talk about math.

So, Sasquatch sent me a link to a twitter … sorry … X (that’s so stupid and we’ll get to that rant another time) feed called “something to think about going all electric” and the guy on the video does some fast math and I don’t trust anyone else’s math, so I looked up the figures and did some of my own.  Follow along with me:

The average house (I used Indiana since that is where I live and it also happened to be the highest of the examples that were given) uses approximately 1.4 kilowatts of electricity per hour to run.  That is an average over a whole year.  Of course there are going to be times it’s higher and times it’s going to be lower.  The AVERAGE is 1.4 kW

The new super fast car chargers can charge up to 350 kilowatts per hour.  Now that’s not saying all the cars can handle charges that fast, but looking on line I found a few that can…the new modern economical ones can, so let’s give them the absolute benefit of the doubt.  The very BEST that I found was that one of the cars could go from a 10% charge to an 80% charge in 18 minutes.  Now, before anyone gets on me about how batteries don’t charge evenly across time, I know that, but we’re talking averages here.  By the math, that would take a battery about 25 minutes from completely empty to completely full.

So, in that 25 minutes that’s it’s going to take to charge that car, it’s going to use about 147 kw.  Which means, in that same time period, we could run 222 houses in Indiana (for that 25 minutes) or, 105 houses for an hour, or one house for one family for 105 hours or 4 days and 9 hours.  How many miles are you going to get on that full charge?  Oh…and how many charging stations are normally going at the same time?  In the video that I saw there were six.  And the example he used was much more pessimistic than my numbers. So let’s see 6 stations, that’s 630 hours per really great vehicle, longer for most of the other vehicles, that’s now almost a month worth of electricity for one lucky family just for 25 minutes at the charging station.

And we can’t keep the lights on in some states NOW.  What are we going to do when the idiots tell us that’s the ONLY kind of vehicle we are ALLOWED to have?

When are we going to stop letting the morons run the country?

Okay, I’m done.

Okay, Ted sent in this, as he put it, “Interesting Article” and I agree.  It is an interesting article.

The gripping true story behind Masters of the Air, the new Band of Brothers show starring Barry Keoghan

Sadly, I can’t cut and paste it right here, I have to give you a link to it, so here’s the link, click on it and read.  It is a good article.  Especially if you have Apple TV+ and if you enjoyed the old HBO classic Band of Brothers https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/the-gripping-true-story-behind-masters-of-the-air-the-new-band-of-brothers-show-starring-barry-keoghan/ar-BB1gYQPs?ocid=msedgdhp&pc=U531&cvid=866e6fb75b314de1d2967c4662f62864&ei=5

Some of you youngsters probably won’t get that one.

I wanted so much to be able to just have this next one play for you guys, but it wouldn’t work.  You have to click on the link because it’s a Facebook reels video.  But it is well worth it.  Thanks Ted for sharing this one with us.  It is excellent.https://www.facebook.com/reel/1245574433498208

https://www.facebook.com/reelhttps://www.facebook.com/reel/1245574433498208/1245574433498208

Remember the nursey rhyme about little fuzzy wuzzy?  There’s one about little scaley waley too.

And that’s gonna be with about 5 minutes of commercials.

I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say “wow” that many times in your first session but here we are.

I was laying in bed last night. 
My wife said, “Honey, make me scream with one finger.”
So I poked her in the eye.

A good woman is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would’ve happened if you had just listened to her in the first place.

Look for it…you’ll see it eventually.

And you think your high school year book pictures were weird

As I fold my third load of laundry, I contemplate becoming a nudist.

Then I remember what I look like naked, and keep folding.

And that EXACTLY describes the problem

The hole in a guitar is traditionally used to store soft cheeses and dried meats which are fed to the drummer when he does a good job.

I told my daughter to check her attitude and she looks at me and said, “For complaints about attitude please contact the manufacturer.”

Well played sasshole, well played.

There are so many great lines…

Be sure to bring up politics at Thanksgiving dinner.  It’s going to save you money on Christmas gifts. 

Follow me for more holiday tips.

And now into 2024

I’m not a 10. 
I’m more like two 5s held together by mashed potatoes.

Every morning after I get out of the house, a bike comes out of nowhere and runs me over.

It’s a vicious cycle.

It doesn’t.  And it also doesn’t say to bring in millions of illegal aliens to stuff the ballot box.

So basically, the people who claimed Trump would crash the economy and start World War III have crashed the economy and started World War III.

In 2018 Democrats shutdown the government and stopped Trump from getting $5 billion to build the wall.

This year, New York City is spending $10 billion to house illegal aliens…people who broke the law and are continuing to break the law to be here.

And that’s just one city in one year.

Y’all some kind or special stupid.

And you realize…it’s OUR money they are spending, right?  RIGHT?

I’m pretty sure I used that one already.

But do you know why Boeing is having such problems?  Because they are more concerned with equity hiring than they are with professional hiring.  That’s right.  Right now, the executives at Boeing have 40% of their pay based on whether they hit their diversity hiring goals.  It doesn’t matter if these people can do the JOB.  Just how much pigment they have in their skin, whether they are attracted to the same sex as they are or the opposite sex, whether they feel they were born the wrong gender, or some other non-sensical stupidity that matters not a whit as to whether they can build and maintain a safe and reliable aircraft that you and I trust ourselves and our families to travel in.  And yes, that is worthy of another Dragon Rant, but I’m about ranted out at this point.  

I heard another tidbit of information that has got my steam rising about “climate change”. (notice the quotes.  They are there for a reason)  I don’t have the time, but one of you fact checkers out there could track down the veracity of this for me I would be grateful.  I heard that the percentage CO2 in our atmosphere that all these alarmists are so upset about is 0.03%.  They are upset, and say that the CO2 emissions have caused the CO2 in our atmosphere to go up by 50% is technically true, but so factually dishonest that it makes me want to track them down and breath fire on them.  They are never quoting real numbers to you because they are technically correct.  The CO2 levels did go up by 50%.  From 0.02% to 0.03%.  Oh golly gee!  You know, just off the top of my head, there might be a bit more CO2 around because we breath in oxygen and breath out CO2 and trees take in CO2 and create oxygen.  There are more people now than there used to be and because we keep cutting down trees and not replacing them, there’s obviously going to be more CO2.  I’ll bet, if you look, over the same time period, there has been an ever so slight decrease in the oxygen level.  I’ll go back to the earlier statement of “Y’all some kind of special stupid!!”

Now, if all this turns out that I had my facts wrong, I’m going to be quite the red-faced dragon.

Only the weakest of males want to physically compete with women.

Only the weakest of intellect celebrate them.

HOW INFURIATING!!! 

I got two comments from Leah on Saturday’s issue.  One I’m going to post here and the other I’m going to respond to in my Last Word since the other was in  reference to Saturday’s Last Word.  This one first, that I absolutely LOVED!

As you travel from PooPoo, Washington headed to PeePee Point, make sure to go through Slickpoo, Idaho! See What Cheer, Iowa, and dont miss Hell, Michigan and Satan’s Kingdom, Vermont.
So many weird town names: Hot Coffee, Mississippi
Tightwad, Missouri; Ding Dong, Texas; Difficult, Tennessee; Intercourse, Pennsylvania
.right next to Blue Ball; Bumpass, Virginia; Knockenstiff, Ohio
See Why, Arizona; Whynot, North Carolina; Humptulips, Washington; Candy Kitchen and Pie Town, New Mexico; Zigzag, Oregon; Pray, Montana and Loveladies, New Jersey; and No Name, Colorado.

Okay, I grew up in New Jersey and have NEVER heard of Loveladies.  And once I looked it up, I understood why.  And I laughed and laughed.  Loveladies is not a city, it is a place inside a city.  Well, it’s actually several places inside a city, the city of Long Beach, which I know VERY well.  Lots of parties and lots of surfing and … well … let’s say that a lot of my misspent youth was misspent on Long Beach.  Anyway, there is a Loveladies Harbor, a Loveladies Cove, and a Loveladies Lane.  I’m sure I’ve been to at least two of those and possibly all three.  Thank you Leah for bringing back some wonderful memories, making me laugh, and wondering what the individuals in the memories are doing today…okay…the girls…wondering what the girls are doing today.  And yes, I will still continue to think of them as girls.  

Next topic!

I will admit, it took longer than I am comfortable with for that burger to appear.

There is a great video floating around the internet of this guy going up and down the street, snow blowing the sidewalk in front of everybody’s house in the neighborhood.  That is a FANTASTIC attitude!

Some of these have been around for a while, some are new and original.  Most all of them are funny.

Points to Ponder

• So now cocaine is legal in Oregon, but straws aren’t.  
  • That must be frustrating.
• Still trying to get my head around the fact that …
  • ‘Take Out’ can mean food, dating, or murder.
• Threw out my back sleeping and tweaked my neck sneezing … 
  • So, I’m probably just one strong cough away from complete paralysis.
• Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers …
  • If you do find one, what’s your plan?
• The older I get, the more I understand …
  • Why roosters scream to start their day.
• Being popular on Facebook is like …
  • Sitting at the ‘cool table’ in the cafeteria of a mental hospital.
• How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life, when … 
  • The rabbit is always jumping but only lives for around two years, and … 
  • The turtle that doesn’t exercise at all lives over 200 years.
  • So, rest, chill, eat, drink, and enjoy life!
• If only vegetables smelled as good as bacon. 
• When I lost the fingers on my right hand in a freak accident, I asked the doctor if I would still be able to write with it.  
  • He said, “Possibly, but I wouldn’t count on it.”
• I woke up this morning determined to drink less, eat right, and exercise.  
  • But that was four hours ago when I was younger and full of hope.
• Anyone who says their wedding was the best day of their life …
  • Has clearly never had two candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.
• We live in a time where intelligent people are silenced …
  • So that stupid people won’t be offended.
• When a kid says “Daddy, I want mommy” …
  • That’s the kid version of “I’d like to speak to your supervisor”.
• It’s weird being the same age as old people.
• If Adam and Eve were Cajuns …
  • They would have eaten the snake instead of the apple and saved us all a lot of trouble.
• We celebrated last night with a couple of adult beverages … 
  • Metamucil and Ensure.
• Weight loss goal: 
  • To be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.
• After watching how some people wore their masks, 
  • I understand why contraception fails.
• Some of my friends exercise every day. 
  • Meanwhile I am watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.
• For those of you that don’t want Alexa or Siri listening in on your conversation, they are making a male version …
  • It doesn’t listen to anything.
• I just got a present labeled, ‘From Mom and Dad,’ 
  • And I know darn well that Dad has no idea what’s inside.
• Now that Covid has everyone washing their hands correctly…
  • Next week …Turn Signals.
• Someone said, “Nothing rhymes with orange.”  
  • I said, “No, it doesn’t.”
• The pessimist complains about the wind.  
  • The optimist expects it to change.  
  • The realist adjusts his sails.
• There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. 
  • Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
• Reading gives us someplace to go …
  • When we have to stay where we are.
• My idea of a Super Bowl is a toilet that cleans itself.
• Exercise helps you with decision-making. It’s true. 
  • I went for a run this morning and decided I’m never going again.

 

I must not be the average human body.  Takes like 5 for me.  

Thanks to Ted for this next one.

I love this next one!!!

You’ll have
Good Days,
Bad Days,
Overwhelming Days,
Too Tired Days,
I’m Awesome Days,
I Can’t Go On Days.
And Every Day You’ll
Still Show Up.

I ran out of toilet paper, so have begun using old newspaper…

The Times are rough

The 3 stages of life:
Wanting stuff
Accumulating stuff
Getting rid of stuff

I’m on stage 3

I KNOW THAT FEELING WELL!!!!

We all know where the big apple is, but does anyone know where the …

Minneapolis. 

A man gets pulled over for speeding!!

As the cop approaches the car, the man asks if he can get out of the car and the cop says okay.  The cop then asks the man why he was speeding.

The man says, “You see the woman sitting in the passenger side front seat?  That’s my wife!  You see the woman sitting in the back seat?  That’s my mother-in-law!  And she has been living with us for three months now and this morning they had a big fight and my mother-in-law insisted we take her home and I’m trying to get her there as quickly as possible before they make up and she wants to come back home with us!!!”

The cop looks at the man and says, “Get back in your car and I will give you a police escort with lights and siren and we will get her home!!”

Without making any statement other than the following picture…

I go to work,
I make my coworkers wonder what is wrong with me, 
and then I clock out.

I got this comment from Leah on my Last Word from Saturday which you may remember was my essay on my epiphany on why God allows bad things to happen to good people.  In hindsight, maybe the title wasn’t the best.  Here’s her comment.  I feel fine putting it here because the comment section is open to anyone who wants to click on it and read it.