Andddddddd another example of the Whelpling’s artwork!  This is an earlier version of me.  I like it, too.  Not as much as the newer versions, but it’s still outstanding.  I still want to publicly thank him for his efforts so far, of which, I am incredibly proud.  I got some good feedback on the last one, how do you guys like THIS one?  Let me know.

Anyway, not a lot going on right now.  I’m keeping myself busy.  Depressed today and I don’t know why.  So, we push it off to the side, pull up our big girl panties, and move along.  

So, let’s get right to the fun stuff so that we’re all moving along in the direction that we all want to be moving in.

And staring at you the whole way.

This is actually based on a true case study.  It didn’t work out anywhere at ALL like this joke does, but there was a an experiment.  

How To Create Bureaucracy, Policy, And Procedures…

1. Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana.

2. As soon as the ape touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result-all the apes are sprayed with cold water.

3. Turn off the cold water. If, later, another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes will try to prevent it even though no water sprays them.

4. Now, remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

5. Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.

6. Again, replace a third original ape with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four apes that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape.

Here’s another oldie, but this is the first time I’ve seen an explanation to go along with it.

And we had one in our house when I was growing up.  In fact, it looked almost identical to that one.  I think it had a bubble like effect to the glass so that it was all bumpy.

Tag!  You’re it!

Joe and I were talking about knowledge we gained while in the military and he sent me this email…

Between the Navy, Air Force and a college course in Human Biology, I’ve learned a lot of medical stuff. For example, If you took all the veins, arteries and capillaries from a man’s body and laid them end to end in a straight line…..

That man would die!

This one is a LOT of fun!

While my wife was shopping in the mall with our three children, a display in the window of a lingerie store caught my eye. 

“Do you think Daddy would like this?” she asked the kids, as she pointed to the lacy pajamas with matching robe. 

“No way,” my horrified six-year-old son replied. “Daddy would NEVER wear that!” 

Oh for me, that’s EASY…

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

Conclusion:

Eat and drink what you like. It’s speaking English that kills you.

12 things you need to understand

1. When you’re winning, keep your mouth shut
2. Never expect to get what you give, not everyone has a heart of flesh
3. Don’t tell people your plans, wait until the results speak for themselves
4. Every day you wake up you have a new job, to be better than yesterday
5. You will never get what you want until you are grateful for what you have
6. Sometimes what you are trying to hold on to is exactly what you should let go
7. If you want to buy things without looking at the price work without looking at the clock
8. God puts people in your life for a reason and removes them for a better reason
9. The devil wouldn’t be attacking you so hard if there wasn’t something valuable in you. Thieves don’t break into empty houses
10. You’re going to piss a lot of people off when you start doing what’s best for you
11. You will lose a lot of friends when you get really serious about your life goals
12. Life does not get easier you just get stronger

Q:  What medicine do you give to someone who keeps buying sailboats? 

A:  Antibuyyachtics!

By the end of Joe Biden’s single 4 year term 15% of America’s TOTAL population will be CRIMINAL ILLEGAL ALIENS!

I hate when guys ask, “Can you cook?”

I don’t know, can you build a house?

There is a species of water beetle that regularly gets swallowed whole by frogs.  And while there’s a lot of things you can do to keep from being eaten, once you’re inside a frog, your options are severely limited.  Generally you get digested.  But this particular species of beetle said, “you know, I bet there’s another way.”  And it started walking.  In fact, it walked through the frog’s digestive tract and out the back end.  

This is 100% true, you can look it up.  19 out of 20 of these beetles will simply walk out of the frog, unharmed.  It usually takes them about an hour, although one beetle speed-ran the frog in five minutes, which I’m sure was very exciting for the frog.

The moral of this story, if there is one, is that no matter how dark the situation, there is always a way through.  And there’s always a light at the end of the frog.

If laziness was an Olympic sport, I’d come in 4th, so I wouldn’t have to walk up to the podium.

I discovered that answered the door naked helps deter trick or treater’s.  Oh, here we go again.  Here’s two dressed as policemen…

And that’s it my friends.  May you all be blessed by God with Love and Happiness until we can meet again.