Okay, I have no idea where the above header came from.  It just put itself together.  Before we go too much further I have a couple of things to say.

First and foremost, I have to offer thanks to Richard E, and Ted K for your very generous donations!  They are so very, very appreciated and so very, very helpful right now.

Second, the lawsuit has been settled and it didn’t really go in my favor.  But, it was a debt I owed, doesn’t matter that it was written off in the past, it was still my debt.  And I know that God will continue to take care of me.  We will make it.

And I want to thank all of you for your emails, comments and wonderful support I’ve been getting.  There have been quite a few of you who have been sharing your stories with me about what you’ve gone through in the past and what you are going through right now and how DL has helped you get through.  That really touches my heart.  That is kind of what we are here for.  Those of you who can contribute do so and if you are just here to enjoy, then just enjoy.  If I ever get close to running out of material, I’ll let you know, as I have in the past.  And if you ever have a story that you would like me to share with the group either for feedback from the group or just to share with the group to show someone else that they are not alone out there…which is why I share with you guys…then by all means, feel free to write to me and tell me so and we can work it out together.

Remember, if you can’t get the episode through your email you can always go to the website to get to it and if you need to get ahold of me, here’s the email…and the website: 

Okay, so enough for now.  Let’s get this road on the show

Some of you won’t get that one…but I’m not sure if it will be the younger ones or the older ones.

You know…there’s probably a lot of truth in that…for some of you guys!

A husband and wife sat down at their table at a coffee shop in New York City. The wife saw a pretty young woman sitting at a table and wearing the most gorgeous pair of shoes she’s ever seen. “I’d love to know where that lady got those shoes,” she said to her husband. “Maybe I should ask her.” The husband raises a hand. “Allow me, my love.” The wife beams at him. “What a gentleman! Thanks, sweetie.” The husband walked over to the young woman and asked, “Where did you get those shoes?” “I got them in a store just around the corner from here,” replied the woman. “Nice. How much were they?” “Oh, around 500 dollars.” “Thanks for letting me know.” The husband returned to his table and said to his wife, “She got her shoes in Los Angeles.”

A special and incredible thank you to Ted for sending this one to me.  Lee Greenwood and US Servicemembers release a new version of “God Bless the USA”

Just because it’s cool

Whether you and your wife are newlyweds or have been married for several years, this thought has, at one point or another, crossed your mind: “Is my wife planning to murder me?” Though determining the answer is not easy, there are warning signs.

1. She listens to podcasts about wives murdering their husbands: Sure, many wives do this, but your wife takes notes. Not good!
2. She always says things like “If you died, would you want me to remarry?”: Yeah, it’s over for you.
3. She has a large collection of Stanley tumblers that are heavy and sturdy and would make a great blunt weapon: Have you seen the size of those things?
4. Her Amazon wish list includes hydrofluoric acid and large plastic barrels: We both know what those are for.
5. She keeps encouraging you to get the COVID-19 vaccine: Those things kill.
6. She asks you to lie down in the trunk of her car: “Just to see how much cargo space it has,” she says.
7. She has an oddly specific fitness goal of being able to deadlift exactly your body weight: Why would she need to only lift that much?
8. She planned a romantic date to that old abandoned mine on the outskirts of town: “It’ll be great. There won’t be anyone else around.”
9. She books you a window seat ticket on Alaska Airlines: Even though she knows you prefer the aisle.
10. She’s currently sharpening an axe on the kitchen counter: Run!

While none of the items listed above is a guarantee she’s trying to kill you, the odds are not in your favor. Keep your eyes peeled, chief.

When the doorbell rings, why do the dogs always assume it’s for them?

5 year old:  Why did the chicken cross the road?  

Me:  Why? 

5 year old:  To get to the dummy’s house. 

Me:  ….. 

5 year old:  …..  

Me:  ….. 

5 year old:  Knock Knock  

Me:  Who’s there? 

5 year old:  The chicken

Again, because it’s cool

Most people could care less that people say irregardless.  This misuse should of been nipped in the butt long ago.  Maybe they are just escape goats for the broader problems of the decline of education, but even though I have been biting my time here, cringing at the next foe par while they get off scotch free, it’s truly a mute pint these days.  Face it:  it’s a doggie dog world.  I think I’ll just go curl up in a feeble position.  ex cetera, ex cetera, ex cetera…

And the really funny thing is that Buddy Wheats and I were just talking a few hours ago and I had said that “irregardless” is my number one cringer and he had said that “should of” was his and it’s the first 2 that come up in this wonderful list so reminiscent of the Bowery Boys.  

Ahhhhhhh!!!!  How many of you did I get with the Bowery Boys reference?!?!

Here’s a short little sample…man those were better days…

Apparently this weekend there will be constant rane, hale, gails, drissle, thundre, litnin, hy tydes, tawnaydoes and frizzing colde. 
Just a really bad spell of weather. 

Whenever someone says, “I don’t believe in coincidences.” I say, “Oh my gosh!  Me neither!”

Remember what I told you was one of my favorite jokes of all times?  Well, a couple of you sent me links to this one … and different versions at that!

Ain’t that the truth!

This one from Evan

I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions.
What’s the point?

Something like that ALWAYS reminds me of this one…

Remember when you could strangle people with your phone?

Those were the days…

Why aren’t we asking the candidates they’re stance on all of THESE subjects?!?!

My personality is that one drawer in the kitchen that’s just full of random stuff.

The divorce rate amongst my socks is astonishing

All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why. 

— James Thurber (1894-1961)

Q: Do You Know Why They Bury Lawyers In Graves Dug 12 Feet Deep?

A: Because They Heard That, Deep Down, Lawyers Are Good People.

There was a very poor shepherder out in Montana. Year after year he and his family struggled through the winter, never quite going broke but never making much profit either.

One spring morning the sheepherder’s wife decided that her husband and three sons needed some new underwear. But need them or not, there just wasn’t any money for new ones.

So she bought a package of red dye and mixed up a batch in a tub in the backyard.

While she was inside gathering up her menfolk’s longjohns, a little lamb came gamboling through the yard and landed with a splash right in the vat of dye. The woman dashed out and rescued the now bright-red lamb.

A few days later a buyer happened to spot the lamb and thinking it some new breed, paid the sheepherder ten times what the lamb was worth.

About a week later another buyer who had heard rumors of a new breed put in his order for a couple of red lambs.

The sheepherder’s wife obligingly dyed a pair, and they sold them at quite a profit.

Well, soon orders for red lambs were pouring in from all over the country, and the sheepherder and his family can afford all the new underwear they want.

As a matter of fact, they’re the biggest lamb dyers in the whole state of Montana.

How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are some reportedly real life examples: 

“My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.” 

“Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting.” 

“Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.” 

“Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet.” 

“I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”

“I am a rabid typist.” 

“Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side.” 

“Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business.” 

“Proven ability to track down and correct erors.” 

“Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far.”

“I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one.” 

“References: None, I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.”

“Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.” 

“Don’t take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers.” 

“My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.” 

“I procrastinate–especially when the task is unpleasant.”

“I am loyal to my employer at all costs ..Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voicemail.” 

“Qualifications: No education or experience.” 

“Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets.” 

“Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department.” 

“Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!” 

Cover letter: “Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!” 

I was scheduled to fly from Gatwick to Spain, where my wife was staying for an extended holiday. 

As I checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked me some standard security questions. “Has anyone given you any packages that you didn’t pack yourself?” he asked. 

I told him that my mother-in-law had given me a parcel to take to her daughter. 

He looked at me very carefully and asked: “Does she like you?” 

So it was my birthday. I had a big party, and my friend made me a birthday cake. 

He brought it out, and it was a savory cake. It had a doughy base, with cheese and all sorts of other toppings sprinkled on top. 

I said “That must have taken a lot of effort to make.”

And he said “No, it was a pizza cake.”

TEN THINGS A CAT THINKS ABOUT 


 1. I could have sworn I heard the can opener. 

 2. Is there something I’m not getting when humans make noise with their mouths? 

 3. Why doesn’t the government do something about dogs? 

 4. I wonder if Morris really liked 9-Lives, or did he have ulterior motives? 

 5. Hmmm … If dogs serve humans, and humans serve cats, why can’t we cats ever get these stupid dogs to do anything for us? 

 6. This looks like a good spot for a nap. 

 7. Hey — no kidding, I’m sure that’s the can opener. 

8. Would humans have built a vast and complex civilization of their own if we cats hadn’t given them a reason to invent sofas and can openers in the first place? 

 9. If there’s a God, how can He allow neutering? 

10. If that really was the can opener, I’ll play finicky just to let them know who’s boss! 

Give it a second, you’ll see it.

And that is it my friends.  I hope you enjoyed this issue and I hope it helped.  I pray that God blesses you with Love and Happiness until we meet again.