Welcome to another issue of the greatest ezine on the internet.  

Yeah, that’s all I’ve got to say this morning.  I figure I’ll get this issue started before I start in on my prep this week for my jail ministry and my soon to start Thursday night ministry.  The new one is called Heroes of the Bible.  It’s a study of Hebrews 11.  If you aren’t sure, go and re-read that chapter and it should become clear.

Anyway, 

We are all putting an awful lot of faith into 2024.  Let’s pray to God daily and keep Him on our side and that can only help.

umm… I’m not sure…

Okay then.

We received about 20 inches of snow this week. So………. 8:00 am: I made a snowman. 

 8:10 – A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman. 

 8:15 – So, I made a snow woman. 

 8:17 – My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified women everywhere. 

 8:20 – The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it should have been two snowmen instead. 

 8:22 – The transgender man / woman / person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts. 

 8:25 – The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and are not to be used to decorate snow figures. 

 8:28 – I was being called a racist because the snow person is white. 

 8:30 – I used food coloring to make the snow person a different color and be more racially inclusive. 

 8:37 – Then I was accused of using a black face on the snow person. 

 8:39 – The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be completely covered. 

 8:40 – The police arrived saying someone had been offended. 

 8:42 – The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role. 

8:43 – The ‘council on equality’ officer arrived and threatened me with eviction. 

 8:45 – TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied “Snowballs” and am now a sexist. 

 9:00 – I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather. 

 9:10 – I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services. 

 9:29 – Far left protesters, offended by everything, marched down the street demanding that I be arrested. 

 9:45 – The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media 

 10:00 – I cry into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman… 

 Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes.

Now see!  There is a man who has been married for a while and knows exactly the right thing to say at the right time.

I wish pets lived longer and life wasn’t so expensive and cake didn’t make you fat and people weren’t idiots.

Boy aged 4:  Dad, I’ve decided to get married. 

Dad:  Wonderful, do you have a girl in mind?! 

Boy:  Yes…grandma!  She said she loves me.  I love her, too…and she’s the best cook and story teller in the whole world! 

Dad:  That’s nice, but we have a small problem, there!! 

Boy:  What problem?!  

Dad:  She happens to be my mother.  How can you marry my mother!!  

Boy:  Why not?!  You married mine!!!!

These are the alarms that protect our doors and portals at Dragon Laffs, Inc.  If you don’t have the correct passwords, these little guys make sure you do not pass through.

I found out that saying, “There, there little girl” to a pissed off grown man only makes things worse.

I phoned my work this morning and said, “Sorry boss, I can’t come in today.  I have a wee cough.”

He said, “You have a wee cough?”

I said, “Really?  Thanks boss, see you next week!”

I had a hen who could count her own eggs.  She was a mathemachicken.

We are protected from the sea as well.  My third cousin on my mother’s side run’s the naval protection.

I’m beginning to think my chiropractor
is manipulating me.

And the sad thing is the comparison between THIS meme and the “Meanwhile in Australia” memes.  Not only is it embarrassing, but it’s worse because probably true somewhere.

Well, you can tell that whoever wrote the above does not have a clue about us.  Hoard useless, shiny things?  The last time I checked, gold isn’t useless.  And eating too much?  How is that even possible?  The rest of it, maybe.

That is AWESOME!!!

On HGTV, people can flip a whole house in a month.  Meanwhile, I’ve been “getting ready to vacuum” for a week now.

The fastest land mammal is a toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.

That’s because of Bidenomics.  The democrats are taking such good care of us.  Oh wait…only if you’re an illegal that is.

Don’t judge a person for drinking and swearing, judge the quiet sober ones.
  Those *&#!&*!#s are up to something!

If there is a wrong place and a wrong time,
I’ll be there.

And so very much of it was weird.

Unless life also hands you sugar and water, your lemonade is going to suck.

Oh come on, man!  Not the fish!

Nope…not saying it…it’s just way too easy.

Here’s an article sent to me by Lynn that I’ve been holding on to until after the holidays.  It’s worth reading.

Biden protects bloated bureaucracy over those they serve

The Biden administration is setting a booby trap in case a Republican wins the presidency in 2024.

The White House unveiled a proposed rule Friday that would make it even harder than in the past for an incoming Republican president to wrest control of the left-leaning federal bureaucracy and actually implement the conservative policies promised to voters.

Of the 2.2 million federal workers, only 4,000 are presidential appointees.

The rest stay in their jobs, from one administration to the next, protected by rules making it nearly impossible to discipline or replace them. 

They overwhelmingly favor the left. (Maybe in the upper echelons they do, but us grunts in the lower ranks…not so much)

A staggering 95% of unionized federal employees who donate to political candidates give to Democrats, according to Open Secrets.  (But how many actually give?  I don’t give to political candidates.  I give to causes…as I think most republicans do)

Only a tiny 5% support Republicans.

Some federal workers in high positions slow-walk or even derail a Republican president’s agenda — and get away with it.

Why bother to vote if the left-leaning deep state stays in charge no matter who wins the presidency?

GOP candidates Donald Trump, Vivek Ramaswamy and Ron DeSantis are vowing to conquer this obstructionism.

Everett Kelley, union president of the American Federation of Government Employees, claims GOP contenders want to “politicize routine government work.”  

Nonsense. We’re not talking about mail carriers.

It’s time to make lawyers, PhDs and other top-level career bureaucrats implement the president’s agenda, not their own.

After Trump won in 2016, they went to town neutralizing him on almost every policy front.

Career lawyers in the Department of Justice’s Civil Rights Division flat out refused to challenge Yale University’s discrimination against Asian-American applicants.

Trump had to recruit lawyers from other divisions.

After Biden became president, the DOJ dropped the case.

But the same career lawyers made the losing argument favoring affirmative action at the US Supreme Court. 

Career health officials like Dr. Deborah Birx circumvented Trump’s instructions to moderate COVID lockdowns. 

Environmental Protection Agency lawyers pursued cases against fossil-fuel producers and withheld the information from Trump appointees.

Trump mandated that new federal buildings be designed to please the public, which prefers classical forms. 

Instead General Services Administration architects chose modern designs they like. One result is the new federal building in San Francisco, the ugliest edifice in the city.

(That is one ugly building!)

It goes on, including weaponization of the FBI against the president himself.

In October 2020, President Trump issued an order that federal workers who make policy should be reclassified as at-will employees who can be terminated.

But before it could be implemented, Biden became president. Biden canceled it immediately, knowing the bureaucrats were on his side.

The rule announced Friday would slow a president’s ability to reinstate Trump’s order.

Democrats in Congress are going further, pushing to eliminate the president’s authority to reclassify jobs altogether. 

The New York Times announced, “Biden Administration Aims to Trump-Proof the Federal Work Force.”

Vivek Ramaswamy vows to do more than Trump, eliminating half or more of civil-service positions.

He says, “Speaking as a CEO, if somebody works for you and you can’t fire them, that means they don’t work for you.”

New York magazine facetiously claims holding employees accountable is a threat to good government and warns a Republican victory will mean “a new class of federal appointees charged with a partisan agenda.”

Democrats and their media allies falsely romanticize civil service, claiming it protects “merit” over patronage.

Merit was the intention when the 1883 Pendleton Act created the civil service. But merit is largely gone. 

Scramble those five letters and what you’ve got is the “timer” system.

Federal workers get bigger salaries and fatter benefits than private-sector workers doing comparable jobs.  (WHAT?!?!  Since when?  Maybe at the top level.  But for the job that I’m doing, I could make two to three times more in the civilian market. The people who do the REAL work don’t do it for the money, they do it to serve their country.  But then again, I don’t REALLY work for the government, I work for the military.  The United States Air Force to be exact.  That’s a big difference.)

And they almost never lose their job, no matter how derelict they are.  (Sigh)

They put in their time and skate to a gold-plated retirement package.  (Don’t I wish.  If that were the case, I wouldn’t still be working after 30+ years of service)

It’s a gravy train, paid for by John Q. Public. (Well, John Q. Public includes us, too)

That’s sickening enough. But it’s even worse when these civil “servants” put their own leftist leanings ahead of the president and public they’re paid to serve. 

Bravo to the GOP candidates pledging to take on the deep state — replete with deadbeats and lefties — and return government to the people. It’s a worthy fight.

Shame on Biden for protecting bureaucracy instead of democracy. 

Not in America.

Betsy McCaughey is a former lieutenant governor of New York.

I do understand the point of the article and I agree.  The problem with her article is that it makes it sound like ALL government employees are in the same boat.  We’re not.  You’re really talking about the top 5 or maybe…MAYBE 10%.  All the rest of us are UNDER paid for the work that we do and don’t get ANY of those perks.  Nor do we have any say-so in anything that goes on.

Okay, so I think it might be a legitimate plan…

YOU wouldn’t surprise me at all!

And the scariest part:  Why is no one asking questions?  She’s not bright enough to pull that crap off on her own!!

Come on…work it out.

Seen on the NY Subway…that is a great name for a ball team!

And here’s a GREAT Letter of Resignation sent to us by brother Joe from NJ

Letter of Resignation

Mr Baker,

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself and my co-workers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of “cut and paste” for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary math still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is.

Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In aworld of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.

Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is “I prefer not to comment.” I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your “favorites list”, which I conveniently saved when you made me “back up” your useless files. I do believe that terms like “Lolita” are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to “take pictures of your mothers birthday”, you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public.

Never screw with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with all your free time.

Sincerely

Ponder these Proverbs…

1. If you’re too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. There is not one shred of evidence to support the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good

It was Super Bowl, and the sportscaster had mentioned several times that the place had been sold out long before game time.  As he called the play-by-play, however, he kept noticing a single empty seat directly below his booth. The empty seat was bothering him, so he sent an assistant downstairs to find out what was going on.

“Pardon me, sir,” the assistant said to the man sitting next to the seat. “Do you happen to know why this seat is empty?”

“Yeah. It’s my wife’s seat.”

“And why is it empty?”

“She died.”

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that. But couldn’t you get a friend to come to the game with you today?”

“Impossible,” the man said. “They’re all at her funeral.”

A dwarf with a lisp goes into a stud farm… “I’d like to buy a horth” he says.

“What sort of a horse?”, said the owner.

“A female horth.” The owner shows him a mare.  “Nithe horth,” says the dwarf, “can I thee her eyth?”

The owner picks him up, shows the eyes.

“Nith eyth,” says the dwarf, “can I thee her teeth?”

The owner picks him up and shows him the teeth.

“Nith teeth,” he says, “now can I see her twot?”

The owner picks him up and shoves his head deep inside the horses vagina, pulls him out.  The dwarf shakes his head and says, “Perhaps I should weefwaze that…can I see her wun awound?!?!”

I’m letting everyone I know I’m heterosexual.

So, feel free to praise me for my courage and incredible bravery.

I think this next one is a GREAT idea…

Teachers should wear body cams like police so parents can see how their children act…

I have a riddle:
If you’re going down a river at 2 mph and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof?

I would just like to thank the person who told my daughter that when she lies her eyes turn a different color.  Now she squeezes her eyes shut every time she lies…and my job just became a whole lot easier.

Last year I joined a support group for antisocial people.
We haven’t met yet.

It’s perfectly okay to talk to yourself and it’s perfectly ok to answer yourself.  But it’s totally sad that you have to repeat what you said because you weren’t listening.

And that is it again for another issue my friends.  Until next time, may God Bless you with Love and Happiness until we meet again.