It’s Monday…but, it’s Saturday right now for me.  And no, we’re not going to have the whole time traveler conversation again. 

Although it really is a cool concept. 

Thinking about it, from your perspective, you know everything that happened on Sunday and I don’t.  Well really, everything that happened from this moment in time that  the words left my fingertips to the time you are sitting with your coffee cup reading them on your computer or your phone or whatever.  But from the singular point of view of both of us being in this sentence at the same time, we are supposed to be equals.  Existing at the exact same moment as one as you read the words that I am writing.  And yet — you have about 48 hours of knowledge more than I do, that I am not privy to. 

If something ridiculously important happens during that 48 hours, it could change the entire outlook on this conversation we’re having right now. 

You would know it and I would be completely clueless — in this conversation.  I would know it at the same time you would know it, but could do nothing to change the conversation we are having now…one-sided though it is. 

It is an unusual way to look at things.  In a way, when I write things to you, trying to be topical and timely, I’m always going to be behind and in the past to some degree, unless I was to do this live.  And I don’t think any of you would wait around while I work my thoughts out and put them down into words. 

And I suppose in some ways, we talked about the whole time traveler thing anyway, didn’t we?

I just realized how old these header titles are that I’m using today.  How can I tell?  Well, there are several of them in the folder that I haven’t used for many years.  Like…

And why haven’t I used them for many years?  Because they’re all very dear and close friends who’ve passed away and whom WE miss a lot, but I’m sure are spending eternity in Heaven in a MUCH more joyful place.  So we should be happy for them.  Death is hard on those who are left behind.  If you’ve lived your life the way you should, given your life to Christ as your Lord and Savior, death is a joyful thing when it comes naturally.  It hurts those who are left behind.  So, really on a weird path this morning…let’s try again.

Okay, now my head hurts.

This next one is from our own Pete.  It’s his essay and well worth the read.

Thank you brother Pete.  You are so right and very well said.  Quite eloquent, in fact.  Words are important.  They matter.  Be careful how you use them, but don’t hide them in a closet, as Pete said so well.  And for crying-out-loud…if we can’t laugh at ourselves, what can we laugh at?

I LOVE Cheesecake.  I prefer it with cherries, but strawberries are okay, too.

“When those around you are losing their heads…”

Another great video from our good friend Joe from NJ

Never trust left-handed people.
They’re not right.

Okay, knock it off!  Don’t some of you have pictures that your parents took of you in the bathtub when you were a baby?

Filling out a job application.  
Under “Military Experience” I put down that I once went commando for 4 days in a row.

Looking back at all the successes and failures in my life, I can’t help but be proud that at least the potty training thing stuck.

Always good for something I guess

Did anyone really expect anything less?

So a burglar broke into the house…
I put the red dot on his chest…
And the cat did the rest!

One of our inner-office pages delivering an executive memo to the department heads.

I’d rather cut the wires

“Etc”

A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

My Bed Is A Magical Place Where I Suddenly Remember Everything I Forgot To Do.

    I’m at an age where if you text me at 10:17 pm…I’m texting you back at 5:12 am.

????????

I can’t remember what movie that is from…but it’s a bunch of oil!

Yeah…me, too.

Once I see you can’t spell, I lose entrance.

I’ve been prescribed anti-gloating cream.

I can’t wait to rub it in.

Aussie Pete, I gotta ask…how long is it gonna take this little guy to get to the point where he can kill us?  Well, maybe not me, you know…dragon.  But the rest of y’all?

Shop Assistant fought off armed robber with his labeling gun…

Police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.

This is so very true…and one of the easy fixes.

The Effects of Bidenomics on Mortgage Financing

Before Bidenomics
Loan Amount: $300,000          Term Length:  30 years   
Interest Rate:  2.35%
Total Payments:  $418,355        Total Interest:  $118,355

With Bidenomics
Loan Amount: $300,000          Term Length:  30 years   
Interest Rate:  7.25%
Total Payments:  $736,749       Total Interest:  $436,749

Bidenomics is a complete and total failure!

Fact Of The Day:

A Greek Wedding Tradition

There are plenty of wedding traditions that span the globe.  Some are done for luck, some to ward off evil spirits, some to bless a new home.  The Greeks have a tradition in which the bride will carry a sugar cube in one of her gloves.  This is done to “sweeten the marriage”.

Morning Checklist:

Clothed?  Ah, sufficiently.
Keys?  Yep, just found ’em.
Coffee cup?  Full, of course.
Sanity?  …  Sanity?

And we have a runner.

One of my favorites

Kinda sexy how you put those cuffs on me.  Will I need a safe word?

Cop:  What the heck is wrong with you?

Um…I have no words.  There is so much wrong here.

So, what’s next?  Signs along the side of the road, “Caution Keep vehicle on roadway”?  “Do Not Strike Vehicle in Front, Behind, or Beside Yours”?

I gotta teach my facial expressions how to use their inside voice.

From the textbook: 

1 PHYSICS

1.1 History

Aristotle said a bunch of stuff that was wrong.  Galileo and Newton fixed things up.  Then Einstein broke everything again.  Now, we’ve basically got it all worked out, except for small stuff, big stuff, hot stuff, cold stuff, fast stuff, heavy stuff, dark stuff, turbulence, and the concept of time.

Yeah…that sounds about right.

I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg…
I thought, “This could get interesting.”

Of COURSE it is!

Me:  [pointing to the sky] Hey look, birds! 

Daughter:  I don’t see any birds. 

Me:  Yeah, that’s because they’re all in da-skies.

That’s gotta be from a Dad.

A 60 year old millionaire is getting married.  His friends are jealous and one of them ask how he landed such a hot 23 year old blonde beauty…

“Simple,” grins the millionaire.  “I faked my age.” 

His friends are really amazed and ask him what age he told her he was?

“I said I was 87…”

Here’s a great old joke that’s been told many times and in many ways…

Weight Loss Program

     A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5 lbs. weight loss program.
     The next day, there’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck…  She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.  The sign reads, “If you can catch me, you can have me.”
     Without a second thought, he takes off after her.  A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up.  The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.  On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5 lbs. as promised.
     He calls the company and orders their 5-day, 10 lbs. program.  The next day there’s a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life.  She is wearing noting but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, “If you catch me, you can have me.”
     Well, he’s out the door after her like a shot.  This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.  So, for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
     Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10 lbs. as promised.  He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-days, 25 lbs. program.  
     “Are you sure?” asks the representative on the phone.  “This is our most rigorous program.”
     “Absolutely,” he replies.  “I haven’t felt this good in years.”
     The next day there’s a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, “If I catch you, you are mine.”
     He lost 33 lbs. that week.

And that’s it for now my friends.  I have to dash.  We will talk more on Thursday.  May God Bless you all with Love and Happiness, but mostly with understanding and clarity of the truth of His Word.