It’s Thursday!  (Well, actually, it’s Saturday, but work with me here) … ahem … It’s Thursday!  And what a week it’s been!  Monday was a holiday, Tuesday was the start of the Nuclear Leadership Course and Pepper Dragon had a doctor visit in the afternoon and darts of course that evening.

Wednesday was supposed to be day two of the NLC, but I didn’t go because Izzy had her special doctor’s visit for her Social Security determination, then it was the Jail Ministry that evening. 

And Thursday, today is the third and last day of the Nuc class, which I should be able to drop back into. 

This weekend is the UTA and I have classes to teach and it’s going to conclude with a wonderful Barium Enema on Monday!!  Yes, you read that right.  On Sunday, while I’m teaching class, I’m supposed to be prepping for this hose being shoved up my butt!  How am I going to work THIS out? 

Okay, so back to reality and it’s Saturday, a week before any of this is going to start and now that I’m thinking about all this stuff, it’s going to be tough to work out.  I’m probably going to have to get someone to cover the class I’m supposed to teach on Sunday. 

Yeah, it’s going to be an interesting week…and we’ve had THAT discussion before.

I know I’ve probably run that one before…but it’s just so true, I had to run it again.

I know I’m becoming a better person because I’ve been holding back some absolutely ruthless crap I could say to people.

Self checkout should include an employee discount.

I now present to you, the cheesiest joke every printed…I would love to take credit for it…but can’t.  So, prepare yourselves…

Where do Bad Rainbows go?

Prism
It’s a light sentence, and gives them time to reflect.

Told ya!

This is a wand of dragon droning.  It turns dragons into a drone.  Suffice it to say, we don’t like it very much.

It’s almost that time of year when other women look cute in their flannel shirts, and I look like I’ve misplaced my axe.

My brother works at a watch factory.

He stands around making faces.

You come from dust and you will return to dust.
That’s why I don’t dust.
It could be someone I know.

“Listen, I need you to take this message to the elves…if they don’t get out of that tree and bring me some cookies, they are going to sorely regret it.  You make that abundantly clear.  Do you understand?”

Okay, well I submit to you that she IS busy.  I’m busy when I’m reading.

Me:  Do you think he called himself T.S. Eliot so nobody would notice that T. Eliot is toilet backwards? 

Librarian:  Stop talking

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these days.

Some angry guy with road rage just yelled out his window at me, “I’m gonna make your life a living hell!”

I yelled back, “Thanks, but I’m not looking for a relationship right now.”

As promised, here’s more of these very funny memes…

His Last Bumpy Ride

ANOTHER WOODEN BALL!! Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?!

Rent A Boyfriend

Thanksgiving Packages

SILVER ($75 + a plate)
  – two hours at dinner
  – matching outfits
  – tell a few jokes

GOLD ($150 + a plate)
  – three hours at dinner
  – cute backstory on how we met
  – details about what I do for a living
  – call your dad “pops”

PLATINUM ($350 + a plate + a to-go plate)
  – all day
  – tell you I love you in front of the whole family
  – kiss your mom on the cheek
  – help clean up after dinner

People associate wearing glasses with being smart, but you have to fail a test to get them.  They even let you look at the answers.

Holy Cow!  Boy did I get sucked down a rabbit hole!  Okay, see the left side of the above picture?  I was sent something very similar to that by … someone. 

Some how I accidently deleted it and couldn’t find it in my deleted files, so, thinking it was interesting, I did a search for it on line and found the one that you see above.  And I thought, well, if it’s not true, then what IS true? 

An hour later and I’m writing this to you guys. 

Yup, I spent an hour looking at the history of Hush Puppies. 

And I’m a skoosh more intelligent and a LOT more hungry!  I really like Hush Puppies. 

Suffice it to say that they were NOT named by escaping slaves when they used them to throw to the hounds that were tracking them.  But, how there WERE named is kind of under discussion even still and … well … not very interesting. 

Frankly, I liked the slave story better. 

And there’s an hour I’ll never get back.

After 6 weeks, $140 in supplies, and daily watering, I’m only 5 to 6 weeks away from enjoying a $1.25 vegetable from my own garden.

I once lived just a stone’s throw away from a family who all died of mysterious head injuries.

No doubt!

I laughed so hard over this.  Grandpa Pickles reminds me SO much of … well … ME!

What about for arms and legs.

I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off the front of my shirt.  Turns out it was deodorant…

So how’s your day going?

Heaven has a wall, a gate, and a strict immigration policy.

Hell has open borders.

Let that sink in.

Only in America can you murder your child at birth but go to jail if you spank them. 

Liberalism is a mental disorder!

I just realized a lot of people don’t like to hold hands in public, especially if they don’t know you.

Stephanie sent us that picture…and an explanation  for that picture.

MyCn 18: The Engraved Hourglass Planetary Nebula
Image Credit & Copyright: NASA, ESA, Hubble, HLA; Processing & Copyright: Harshwardhan Pathak

Explanation: Do you see the hourglass shape — or does it see you? If you can picture it, the rings of MyCn 18 trace the outline of an hourglass — although one with an unusual eye in its center. Either way, the sands of time are running out for the central star of this hourglass-shaped planetary nebula. With its nuclear fuel exhausted, this brief, spectacular, closing phase of a Sun-like star’s life occurs as its outer layers are ejected – its core becoming a cooling, fading white dwarf. In 1995, astronomers used the Hubble Space Telescope (HST) to make a series of images of planetary nebulae, including the one featured here. Pictured, delicate rings of colorful glowing gas (nitrogen-red, hydrogen-green, and oxygen-blue) outline the tenuous walls of the hourglass. The unprecedented sharpness of the Hubble images has revealed surprising details of the nebula ejection process that are helping to resolve the outstanding mysteries of the complex shapes and symmetries of planetary nebulas like MyCn 18.

Many people reject Jesus because of bad experiences with religious people.

But, here’s the thing… Jesus had bad experiences with religious people, too.

In fact, they killed him.

People will let you down.

Jesus won’t.

Sometimes understanding what a woman wants is very difficult.  It’s like trying to figure out what color, the letter seven, smells like. 

When I die everyone must sleep at the graveyard, y’all can’t leave me alone the first night with people I don’t know!!

I’m not saying I’m old, I’m just saying my dinner time and my bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Ladies, you can tell a lot about a man by how dogs react to him.  For example, if the police K9 is biting him, he may not be ideal.

I always regret making a good first impression because there is no way I can keep that stuff up.

Important to remember:  When someone tries to trigger you by insulting you or by doing or saying something that irritates you, take a deep breath and switch off your ego.  

Remember:  If you are easily offended, you are easily manipulated.

Currently working on a diary full of lies.  I want my loved ones to read it after I die and be like, “wait, what!?”

That’s it my friends.  Until Saturday when we meet again.  May you be Blessed with Love and Happiness.