And they are arguing AGAIN about excusing school loans!  Come on people!  What it comes down to, is you took out the loan knowing you were going to have to pay it back and now you are trying to renege on that.  And the other side of that is why should those of us who didn’t incur your debt, who didn’t go to college, or who paid their way through, pay for a bad loan that YOU made?  Tell ME why I should pay YOUR bills?  Especially when I’m having a hard enough time paying my OWN bills.  You stand there with your signs and chant your chants, but what it amounts to is that you want someone else to pay what you are responsible to pay for!  It would be like me going to the store, taking a TV off the shelf, and then demanding that you pay for it.  Have you no shame?  Demanding that someone else pay your bills?  Gee, doesn’t that sound like a stand up adult. 
You signed it the loan, you pay the bill. 
Grow up.

Okay, push that soapbox back under the counter and move on.  So, what’s next?

Got this email from Joe from NJ

I’m having a yard work and garage clean out day. Taking a break and found this on my phone:

It’s a good stand, Joe.  And for you to find it theoretically in your garage is amazing.  Now, if you could just find…wait, I think I’ve got it!!

Q. Why are Jewish men circumcised?
A. Because Jewish women won’t touch anything unless it is 20% off.

During a recent flood in a small Australian town, a young girl was perched on top of a house with a little boy. As they sat watching articles float by in the water, they noticed an old hat go past.

Suddenly, the hat turned and came back, then turned around and went downstream. After it had gone some distance, again it turned and came back. They watched as it did this a number of times.

“Do you see that hat?” said the girl in amazement. “First it goes downstream, then turns around and comes back, then it goes back downstream and then it comes back again.”

“Oh, that’s nothing, it’s only my dad,” replied the boy. “This morning my Mum said that come hell or high water, he had to mow the lawn today.

Happy Birthday to … somebody!

Probably the only place in the world where that’s true.

One Sunday morning a little girl in her Sunday best was running so she wouldn’t be late for church.
As she ran she kept praying, “Dear God, please don’t let me be late to church.   Please don’t let me be late to church….”

As she was running she tripped and fell.

When she got back up she began praying again…
“Please, God don’t let me be late to church — but don’t shove me either

An American guy travels to Japan on business. After 3 days of intense
meetings, he’s exhausted.

After work he decides to go out and get some dinner, and maybe have a few
drinks. Well, after a few beers and some saki, he’s feeling a little horny.
He decides to go down the street to a geisha bar.
After a few more drinks he hires one of the women to go back to his hotel
for some action.

They go back, begin to fool around, and eventually end up on the bed. As
they start to have sex, she begins moaning . . . then screaming. As she
catches her breath, she begins shouting, “Shin-Wa!
Shin-Wa!”

The guy doesn’t speak any Japanese, but is having the best sex of his life,
and he’s pretty proud of himself for giving the Geisha such a great time.
After they’re done, he pays her, and she leaves, barely able to walk out of
the room.

The next day, the businessman has to play golf with the CEO of the Japanese
company he had been meeting with. Everything goes great . . . they get
to the 18th hole, and the CEO has a 40 ft. putt to make par, and have the
best round of his life. He takes his time, lines it up, and sinks it!

The American is so thrilled, he decides to impress the CEO with the Japanese
he’s learned and starts shouting, “Shin-Wa! Shin-Wa!”

The CEO turns to him and says, “What do mean, wrong hole?

Selma telephones home with some exciting news:

“Mama, I got married.”

“Mazel Tov,” says Mama.

“I might as well tell you, Mama, he’s not of our Faith.”

“So he’s a goy. But am I prejudiced?”

“But, Mama, he’s also black.”

“So he’s a schvartzeh. By me, everybody should be tolerant.”

“Well, frankly, Mama, he’s also unemployed.”

“So, you’ll support him. A wife should help her husband.”

“But, Mama, we have no place to live.”

“Don’t worry, Selma, dear. You’ll move in with us.”

“But Mama, you have only one bedroom.”

“That’s okay. You and your husband can have the bedroom.”

“Yes, Mama, but where will you and Papa sleep?”

“Papa can sleep on the couch in the living room.”

“Yes, Mama, but where will *you* sleep?”

“Selma, dear, about me you don’t need to worry. The minute I get off the
phone…I’m going to drop dead.”

And once again, just because it’s cool…

Style Contest

Remember, the following winning entries were printed in the newspaper:

Third place:

There once was a gal named Lewinsky
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky
‘Twas “Hail to the Chief”
On this flute made of beef
That stole the front page from Kaczynski

Second place:

Said Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky,
“We don’t want to leave clues like Kaczynski,
Since you made such a mess,
Use the hem of your dress
And please wipe that stuff off your chinsky.”

And the winning entry:

Lewinsky and Clinton have shown
What Kaczynski must surely have known
That an intern is better
Than a bomb in a letter
When deciding how best to be blown.

IN          THE          NEWSPAPER!!!!!!!!!!

Legend states that when you’re overwhelmed and on the verge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear to tell you that you cut their sandwich wrong.

Fact Of The Day:

What Is A Chortle?

A “Chortle” is a type of laugh that is a mixture of a chuckle and a snort.  The word was first used in the poem Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll.  Carroll, author of Alice in Wonderland, is also credited with introducing the words “galumph” and “slithy”.

This is a painful machine.

Fact Of The Day:

A Funeral For A Leg

In 1842, Mexican General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna had a military burial for his leg.  No, that is not a typo.  He held a military funeral service filled with cannon fire, speeches, poems, and prayers, in honor of his dearly departed right leg.  Four years earlier in 1838, Santa Anna lost his leg during battle with the French.  Cannon Fire hit his leg and as a result, doctors had to amputate the leg.

“People wonder why I give so many compliments out to strangers.  I’m not being fake and I’m not looking for people to like me.  But, if I pass someone and I like something, I say it.  ‘Love those shoes!’ or ‘Great hair!’ or ‘Wow, your eyes are beautiful!’ … why?  Because life is hard and this world can be a shitty place … and people are mean.  You never know how much those few words mean to someone, you never know what hell they may be going through; and when you put positivity out there into the universe YOU yourself become a happier person.  It’s hard to be nice and be miserable yourself.  It’ll reflect from the outside in.  I’m telling you random compliment giving will change your life; and maybe someone else’s too.”

~ Jordan Sarah Weather

Some stranger somewhere still remembers you because you were kind to them when no one else was.

What about reparations for the Irish who were enslaved to build the rail lines?
What about the Poles and the Slavs who were enslaved in the coal mines of Pennsylvania?
What about … I could go on and on …
See, the fact of the matter is that most, if not all of us can claim some sort of historical complaint that we could claim some sort of recompense for.  So all of us, grow the hell up and knock it the hell off!

More potent words were never spoken.

Everyone is normal until you get to know them.

“Grab the Weasel and the rifle and let’s go!”

I was so bored sitting at home one night that I memorized six pages of the dictionary.  I learned next to nothing.

People need to stop putting flyers on my car.  I don’t want to see a band called “Parking Violation” at the “Courthouse.”

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Stop, Drop and Roll was always such a big deal as a kid…
I really thought I’d be on fire more than this as an adult.

Here’s a fun fact about bees:  Most of them are actually allergic to pollen.  When exposed to pollen they develop hives.

Is Sex Better For Men Or Women?

I just had a discussion with my wife about sex being better for either men or women.

She said, “Of course for women!  When you have that itch in your ear, and you put your finger in to scratch it, where does it feel better?  On your finger or in the ear?”

I still am speechless.

What is a group of butterflies called?
A group of butterflies is a kaleidoscope.  They’re also known as a swarm, flutter, flight, swarm, rabble, or a wing of butterflies.

I met this beautiful girl last night, she phones me today and says, “Come on over, no one’s home!”

So I got there, and there was no one home. 

I mistakenly used the dog shampoo instead of mine.  Now I feel like such a good boy.

A century of fighting for women’s rights, and in 2023, the women who are being celebrated have penises.

And doesn’t that make you feel stupid?

How come there is enough asphalt for speed bumps but not enough to fill pot holes?

Boss hangs a poster in the office
“I AM THE BOSS, DO NOT FORGET”
He returns from lunch, finds a slip on his desk. 
“Your wife called, she wants her poster back home.”

When you’re a child, you make funny faces at the mirror.
When we become adults, the mirror gets even.

I worked at a bill collection firm in the early ’90s (don’t judge me).  A guy started working there, went through the two days of training, then started working.  After about an hour, he got up and left.  Didn’t say, “I quit.”  Didn’t say, “this job isn’t for me.”  Didn’t say, “screw you.”  He just got up to go to the bathroom, went through the front door and drove away.  It took the managers a few hours to figure out that this guy got the job with a fake name, and erased his  own debt on the computer.

And that is all there is my friends, at least for today.  May God Bless you and keep you until we meet again.