So, it’s still Saturday and I’m trying to get ahead of the game and get things going since, even though Monday is a holiday, I still have Men’s Group Monday Night, I have Darts on Tuesday Night, Jail Ministry on Wednesday Night, our new Living Free Group on Thursday Night … I need to retire, just so that I have more time to devote to the groups that I have and to the Lord.  It is getting nutty crazy!  It truly is.

But, you guys are important to me, too.  You always have been and you always will be.  That is why I work very hard to have the time to spend time with you guys.  Even to the expense of other things.  You are my friends, my family, my loved ones.  You guys have been there for me when no one else has.  Dragons are like elephants, we never forget. 

So,  looking WAY ahead into the future, I foresee…Thursday!  So, let’s get some of the laughter out of the way first, since that is what you all come here for anyway, right?  To take your minds off of things…and I’ll fill in the blanks as we go along. 

Get it?  Come on people, think!  It’s right there!  Got to do with a desert.  Not dessert, like … yum … apple pie

Okay, off track… no, has to do with a desert

 

Okay, I’ve given you enough time…how about this:

You get it now? LOL!

I always see more people walking into Walmart than out of Walmart.

But the meat is cheap so I don’t ask questions.

My neighbor just got arrested for growing marijuana. 

Guess my property line isn’t where I thought it was.

Three Irish men in a pub called Mick, Pat, and Tat.  The barman says, “Are you all related?”  Mick said, “Yeah, we’re triplets.”  The barman says, “Triplets, how come you and Pat are six foot tall and Tat is only four foot tall?”  “Well,”  said Mick, “Me and Pat were breast fed, so there was not tit for Tat…”

A flower for all the lovely ladies…and that’s ALL of you!

You have got to click on this link.  It is an excellent article called God’s Rambo:  The Story of a Real Life Road Warrior.  The article is from Curbside Classic and was sent to me by The Whelpling.  And it is EXCELLENT!!  https://www.curbsideclassic.com/blog/international/gods-rambo-the-story-of-a-real-life-road-warrior/

Sometimes I like to mess with my husband and hide his stuff where he can’t possibly find it.  Like I put his shoes in the shoe closet, his jacket on the hanger and his keys on the  key hook.

Most States:  Oh No!  An invasive species!  

Louisiana:  What they taste like?

Another mermaid picture, just because…

I’ve reached an age where I can’t tell if I sustained an injury or if that’s just how I am now.

I told the waitress my steak was bad.  She picked it up, slapped it, put it down and said, “if it gives you more trouble let me know!”

No kidding!!!

Ask not why the children shouldn’t see drag queens; ask why drag queens crave an audience of children.

I know we’ve said that many times in the past.

Mercedes for Sale @ $1

Someone put up this advertisement.  No one believed it could be true so no one responded, but an old man responded and went to see the car. 

The lady actually sold him a Mercedes, which had done just 7,200 miles, for $1. 

She handed him the papers and the car keys.  Deal done.

As the old man was leaving, he said, “I shall die of suspense if you don’t tell me why this car was sold so cheap?” 

The Lady replied, “I am just fulfilling the will of my deceased husband, where it’s written that the money received from the sale of his Mercedes would go to his Secretary…”

Wives are Wives, in life, after death too…

If my body was a car, I would trade it in for a new model.  Because every time I cough or sneeze, my radiator leaks and my exhaust backfires.

AMEN!  Teaching our kids to ball up their fists and fight back against a bully is about the best thing we can do!  I don’t care what the school’s policy on fighting is or whatever!  Little Izzy Dragon was called into the Principal’s office once for fighting.  I knew she was getting bullied at school (it’s eventually why we took her out of school) and I taught her to fight back.  Don’t you ever start a fight, but NOBODY lays a hand on you without you laying them out on their ass.  You don’t stop until they either run away or are flat on their back.  Well, we got called into the office because Izzy was involved in a fight…with a boy.  Who was picking on her.  We had complained about this boy to the school before.  She wanted to hit this boy and I told her she was not allowed unless this boy hit her first.  Well, one day he did.  She kicked his butt.  Principal says Izzy is getting suspended for three days for fighting.  I said wait, who started the fight?  Principal says it doesn’t matter.  Zero tolerance.  I said that’s the dumbest rule I’ve ever heard of in my life.  So, if you’re getting raped or murdered, you’re not supposed to fight back?  Principal said, no one was getting raped or murdered.  I said, How do you know?  If Izzy hadn’t fought back, how do you know?  We are teaching kids to allow themselves to be beaten up, possibly raped and possibly murdered by your zero tolerance policy.  The principal says, well Izzy beat up this boy.  And I said as well she should have because THAT’S WHAT I TAUGHT HER TO DO AND IT’S A DAMN GOOD THING MY TEACHING WAS BETTER THAN YOURS.  So, I asked Izzy, who threw the first punch.  She said, He did.  I said case closed.  You want to suspend her for fighting that’s up to you.  As far as I’m concerned, he got what he deserved, but your policy is 100% wrong.  We are raising a generation of victims if we continue in this manner.

Just sold my Homing Pigeon on eBay for the 22nd time.

That’s a good, legitimate question!

The fastest land mammal is a toddler who’s been asked “What’s in your mouth?”

Fact Of The Day:

Didn’t Like Socks

Another not-so-common fact about famed theoretical physicist Albert Einstein is that he did not like to wear socks.  Per his own words, “I found out that this big toe always ends up making a hole in a sock.  So I stopped wearing socks.”

No one is more full of crap than a parent that just said “Maybe.”

And it was all over the news at the time.

And sadly, this is the last of this collection

Maybe we’ll get some other collection for next time.

Now that’s a doily addiction gone too far!

The restraining order doesn’t mean we can’t hang out. 
It just says I can’t get within 50 feet of you. 
So, you want to play catch or frisbee, or something?

Some of y’all take social media WAY too seriously…
Just laugh and scroll my friend, laugh and scroll. 

There are some people in life that make you laugh a little louder, smile a little bigger and live just a little bit better.

Truth

I’m writing a book about all the things I  should be doing in my life.  It’s an oughtobiography.

All of my life, everyone’s advice was always:

“GO FOR BROKE!”

I’m happy to report that I succeeded.

Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of a group of grains that could have become whiskey but didn’t.

I know, right!  It sends shivers up MY arms!  And with that lovely picture trapped beautifully in your little brains, I will leave you now.  Tune in on Saturday for the continuing adventures of Impish Dragon and his wonderful band of fellow travelers.  (That’s you lot, by the way).  May God Bless you and keep you until we meet again.