Moving A Computer
Sometimes it becomes necessary to move your computer to a new location for whatever reason; installing/adding new hardware or just decided to move it for “easier access”, for instance (note easier access in quotation marks).
Whatever your reason is, this handy guide may help you alleviate some of the stress that always arises in such occasions.
Keep in mind that this is a venture only to be undertaken by those who know what they’re doing…and masochists.
1. Bone up on your cursing. You will need it later.
2. Pick a *good* spot to locate your computer. Don’t be too picky; you will regret having started on this venture soon enough.
3. Disconnect all cables, cords, power sources, umbilical cords and plumbing. Look at the black, gray & white spaghetti mess on the floor and sob. Refer to number 1. While you’re at it, it helps to focus on cursing Bill Gates and Steve Jobs for making all this possible.
4. Be sure to dust machine off, since it’s been sitting for months in one spot, gathering a dust mound the size of Mt. Rainier. This is especially essential if you have asthma.
5. Now that you’ve picked a *good* spot, it’s time to replace all the cables, cords, etc. Make sure it’s in a dark, hard-to-reach location.
6. New computers have color-coded plugs and plugins to make assembly easier. This has no bearing on you since your computer is in a dark, hard-to-reach location and they’re all the same color: gray. See number 1.
7. Get a flashlight. Look for new batteries for flashlight you’ve left in the junk drawer for months. Go to store to buy new flashlight batteries since you don’t have any. Rule number 1 is coming in handy now.
8. While inserting various cords and cables, be sure to drop at least one on the floor behind the desk, where it will take a contortionists to retrieve it.
9. Find out that your printer cable is now not long enough to reach the computer (see number 1). Oh well, you didn’t use it that much anyway.
10. Once you have all the cables, etc. back in place, turn computer back on.
11. Sit, puzzled why computer isn’t working.
12. Plug monitor in.
13. Ponder why keyboard and mouse don’t work.
14. Switch keyboard and mouse plugins.
15. Call spouse in to admire your handiwork.
16. Spouse informs you that he/she liked it better where it was, and to move it back.
17. When asked why you’re banging your head on the monitor, don’t reply. It would only confuse him/her.
About lethalleprechaun
I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!"
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I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall.
I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers.
The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown.
I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children.
I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal.
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