Dragon Laffs

Good Morning Campers,

It’s the Independence Day Weekend!  Plenty to talk about; Plenty to go over;  So many things to enjoy in this edition of Dragon Laffs, not the least of which is the celebration of our country’s independence.  Those of you who are reading this from another country might find this episode a little boring and for that … well … I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m really not.  Because this is a really special weekend for us Americans. 

And those snowflake-assholes out there who are ashamed of our flag … yes, that’s you Gwen Berry, among others, you know the ones, those that kneel during the playing of the National Anthem, can find something else to do this weekend.  But, if they are looking for something to do, I’ll tell them what they can all do, they can …

 And with that, let’s get this show on the road with another proud American Veteran.  The young Security Forces Lady who was hurt on Memorial Day.  I haven’t gotten any more updates.  I do believe that she is making good progress, she still doesn’t have feeling below the knee, but she is still fighting and we are fighting to help her out.  For those of you who don’t know, she was involved in a freak accident on a 4 wheeler, landed wrong, injured her spine and now may be partially paralyzed for the rest of her life.  She is married with young children and there will be medical care and child care expenses that a young military family is not set up to pay.  You may not believe it or not, but a young GI doesn’t make much money.  If you ever want to shock yourself … well no … let’s go ahead and shed some light on this subject.  Your normal E-3, with about 4 years of service who is given a gun and sent over seas to fight for his/her country is paid, before taxes about $14 an hour for a 40 hour week.  Except they don’t work a 40 hour week and they don’t get paid overtime.  They get paid about $28,500 a year before taxes … and yes, we pay taxes … to put their lives between YOUR lives and the evilness out there, to go where the politicians who start out at what, $125,000 a year and sit on their asses and get a retirement after 4 years, tell them to go.  These guys work for 20 years (if they live that long) for HALF retirement.  But, if you are in it for the money, you are in it for the wrong reasons.

Anyway, got a little bit off topic there.  We are here to talk about our own hurt hero.  She needs our help and now our time is up.  Today is the last I’ll bug you about it, the last time I’m going to ask … beg … you to help.  So many of you already have, but even a buck or two thrown in a bigger bucket with other people’s bucks goes a long way.  Just go up to the top of the page, hit the donation button and give a little bit.  After the long weekend, I’ll move the money, convert it to a visa gift card or something that my bank can convert and give it over to the family. 

This is your last chance.  And here are our Dragon Laffs Heroes who’ve already helped out:

Steven H.
Dan T.
Leah H.
Carlos W.
Ray W.
William E.
Carlos W. (again)
Jonathon J.
Donald G.
Patricia G.
Stephanie C.
Philip S.

On Monday I will give you the total and the final list.  Won’t you add your name?

Now, I’d like to share a letter we received in an email …

Independence Day is a time of celebration and a chance to reflect on the founding ideals that make America great – life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  As members of our Nation’s military, we are dedicated to protecting these principles and furthering the fundamental premise of the Declaration of Independence – that all are created equal.

This weekend is also an opportunity to reaffirm our commitment to the Constitution.  With this landmark document, the Founders created “a more perfect Union.”  They understood that America is as much a concept as a physical nation, and that freedom and democracy would expand over time.

That’s not the entire email, but the part that impressed this dragon was the fact that he brought up the commitment to the Constitution.  When so many are trying to change it, make it into something that it isn’t or something else, it nice to see that some of our leaders are impressing upon us our oaths of office.  Very nice indeed.

And yes, I purposefully didn’t tell you who it’s from and I didn’t include the whole letter.  At some point someone is going to jump my ass for my opinions and my job crossing lines here at Dragon Laffs … why should I make it easy on them.

From another email from an0ther branch of my organization …

On July 4, 1776, the Second Continental Congress ratified the Declaration of Independence, casting off the yoke of British colonial rule. The Declaration of Independence proclaimed that all men are created equal and endowed with certain unalienable rights, enshrining these ideals as the organizing principles for our nation.

These ideals hung in the balance as the Revolutionary War raged on until the Battle of Yorktown in 1781. Since that time, Americans have continually answered the call to defend our Nation and its principles for 245 years, securing the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness for successive generations of Americans.   

This one stopped a little short of reminding us all of insuring us of our inclusion in all things and our equality in all things … lol.  But, I do like the little history lesson in this one.

This one is from Pete…

Okay, now a couple of the regular memes cause I’m all out of 4th of July stuff … just to round out the issue … edition … episode. …

 

The board’s at the wrong height.

 

Really not meeting my expectations …

Why doesn’t that surprise me?

And he shouldn’t!!!  Good for him!!!

This one made me laugh till I cried, so that’s a really good place to end this one.  May you all have a happy and safe holiday.  Do not drink and drive.  Have a designated driver or party close to home.  It is a great weekend to enjoy yourself, but I want to see everyone of you back here on Monday.

My love to each and everyone of you.  Go donate and go have a great Independence Day.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon and the whole Dragon Family

Good Morning Campers,

Not really sure what to talk about this morning … it’s Wednesday morning and I took the day off work to take Mrs. Dragon for her follow up with the doctor this afternoon to find out the results of her tests.  Soooo … right now I’m just kinda waiting for things to pass by so we can go to the doctor.

So, rather than try to figure out something to say, why don’t we just start out by laughing and see where this issue … episode … edition … takes us.

That’s just wrong!

Funny …

But wrong!

Thanks to Stephanie for this really, really interesting article …

NASA Discovers Pyramid on Mars

Over the years NASA satellite images of the Red Planet have shown some strange and often disquieting objects. Now, a stunning raw NASA image of a pyramid on the Mars surface has once again fueled speculation that Mars used to be the home of an alien civilization.

For the rest of the article and some really great pictures, click here: https://trinfinity8.com/nasa-discovers-pyramid-on-mars/

When a cougar gets so old she needs a hearing aid, she becomes a Def Leppard.

My Credit Report?

It’s used as a comedy break in financial training seminars.

Today, I learned that if you flip a canoe over you can wear it as a hat.

Because it is cap-sized.

“Sweetheart, I have to tell you something important … you are adopted.”

I ate a kid’s meal at McDonalds this morning.

His mom was furious.

My check for fabric softener just Bounced.

I just saw a news report that police are searching for a suspect accused of stealing from a farm’s nursery!  They’re saying the suspect…

…is on the lamb.

Damn!!

Do U.K. websites use biscuits instead of cookies?

Strong words.

What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?

“Get in the boat, men!”

Some rides are better pimped out then others.

More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.

“Wow!  They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!”

This is a process called guttation. The plant is expelling water due to a positive root pressure.

What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?

Tea-Shirts

Why are things typed up, but written down?

This is too good not to share immediately! 

We had Cured Ham for Christmas dinner.  We all wondered what illness it was cured of.

Why do people say the “worked like a dog”?  Our dog just sat around all day.

I’m a light eater.  As soon as it’s light, I start to eat.

I used to watch golf on TV during the weekend, but my doctor told me I needed more exercise … so now I watch tennis.

The entire Denver International Airport is twice the size of Manhattan.

Why are you “in” a movie, but you’re “on” TV?

Our second to the last update before we have to call it quits.  Which means you guys have two more chances … well, you have lots more chances, but I’m only going to remind you two more times.  Today and Saturday.  And then we’ll come up with a grand total on Monday. 

Right now here are our heroes:

Steven H.        Dan T.        Leah H.        Carlos W.        Ray S.        William E.       Carlos W. (again)        Jonathon J.        Donald G.        Stephanie        Patricia G.

You guys are wonderful! Truly you are.  I’m so proud of each and every one of you.    Anyone else who still wants to get in and help this special young military woman and her family, you still have time.  I’ll take donations up to the 4th of July and then I have to convert them over and turn them in. 

Thank you all!

How come you never see Cupid with a girlfriend?

Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs?

Thanks to our dearest friend Stephanie for this next one …

This was first published in the British humour magazine “Punch” on April 3, 1957:
But it is still VERY pertinent to banking practices today.
Q: What are banks for?
A: To make money.
Q: For the customers?
A: For the banks.
Q: Why doesn’t bank advertising mention this?
A: It would not be in good taste.  But it is mentioned by implication in references to reserves of $249,000,000,000 or thereabouts.  That is the money they have made.
Q: Out of the customers?
A: I suppose so.
Q: They also mention Assets of $500,000,000,000 or thereabouts.  Have they made that too?
A: Not exactly.  That is the money they use to make money.
Q: I see. And they keep it in a safe somewhere?
A: Not at all.  They lend it to customers.
Q: Then they haven’t got it?
A: No.
Q: Then how is it Assets?
A: They maintain that it would be if they got it back.
Q: But they must have some money in a safe somewhere?
A: Yes, usually $500,000,000,000 or thereabouts.  This is called Liabilities.
Q: But if they’ve got it, how can they be liable for it?
A: Because it isn’t theirs.
Q: Then why do they have it?
A: It has been lent to them by customers.
Q: You mean customers lend banks money?
A: In effect. They put money into their accounts, so it is really lent to the banks.
Q: And what do the banks do with it?
A: Lend it to other customers.
Q: But you said that money they lent to other people was Assets?
A: Yes.
Q: Then Assets and Liabilities must be the same thing?
A: You can’t really say that.
Q: But you’ve just said it!  If I put $100 into my account the bank is liable to have to pay it back, so it’s Liabilities.  But they go and  lend it to someone else and he is liable to have to pay it back, so  it’s Assets. It’s the same $100 isn’t it?
A: Yes, but….
Q: Then it cancels out.  It means, doesn’t it, that banks haven’t really any money at all?
A: Theoretically……
Q: Never mind theoretically!  And if they haven’t any money, where do  they get their Reserves of $249,000,000,000 or thereabouts??
A: I told you.  That is the money they have made.
Q: How?
A: Well, when they lend your $100 to someone they charge him interest.
Q: How much?
A: It depends on the Bank Rate.  Say five and a-half percent.  That’s their profit.
Q: Why isn’t it my profit?  Isn’t it my money?
A: It’s the theory of banking practice that………
Q: When I lend them my $100 why don’t I charge them interest?
A: You do.
Q: You don’t say.  How much?
A: It depends on the Bank Rate.  Say a half percent.
Q: Grasping of me, rather?
A: But that’s only if you’re not going to draw the money out again.
Q: But of course I’m going to draw the money out again!  If I hadn’t  wanted to draw it out again I could have buried it in the garden!
A: They wouldn’t like you to draw it out again.
Q: Why not?  If I keep it there you say it’s a Liability.  Wouldn’t they be glad if I reduced their Liabilities by removing it?
A: No.  Because if you remove it they can’t lend it to anyone else.
Q: But if I wanted to remove it they’d have to let me?
A: Certainly.
Q: But suppose they’ve already lent it to another customer?
A: Then they’ll let you have some other customers money.
Q: But suppose he wants his too….and they’ve already let me have it?
A: You’re being purposely obtuse.
Q: I think I’m being acute.  What if everyone wanted their money all at once?
A: It’s the theory of banking practice that they never would.
Q: So what banks bank on, is not having to meet their commitments?
A. YOU GOT IT!

I just realized that military barbers shave their privates.

What if Snow White was just pretending to be asleep so she didn’t have to clean up after little people anymore?

I totally get that.

Sometimes I forget I already told a particular person a story and I start telling it again, please just let me do it, it means I want to talk to you and my brain doesn’t work.

Husband: [Sneezes]

Me: ……..

Husband:  You’re not even gonna say bless you or anything?

Me:  I’m sitting here you with you, hun.  You clearly have been blessed already.

Well, we just got home from the doctor’s office and we got really good news.  Mrs. Dragon’s tests all came back very positively!  Some minor issues, but nothing outside the scope of her age.  As for the fluctuations in her blood pressure, he thinks that just might be her.  So, I don’t want to go too deeply into her medical conditions, since, you know, it’s her and not me, but suffice it to say that we got really good news today and I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my chest.

But, I thought I would share that with you guys, and thank you all for all the prayers and good wishes you guys have sent to us over the last months while we have been going through this.  We’re not done yet, but it is certainly looking MUCH better than it has been.

Love and happiness to you all.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

Good Morning Campers,

Well, another interesting weekend.  Two tornadoes came through our area Friday night.  An F-0 and an F-1.  No one was hurt, there were a couple of buildings damaged, a bunch of corn was scared off its cob and this dragon lost some sleep before he had to go and teach class on Saturday.

It’s been raining … a lot since like Wednesday and is supposed to rain … a lot until next weekend and they are talking about the Wabash River flooding and the worst flooding we’ve seen in a hundred years … I’m not worried about flooding.  My cave sits on the one of the highest parts of town, the flooding river would never reach me and if need be, I can fly to work.  But, the neighbors are talking about building an ark. 

So, things are crazy all around the world.  Building collapse in Miami, a couple had Fifty Billion dollars mistakenly deposited into their account (and then taken back), people are being shot all over the country – I’ve gotten so many notices about gunfire on my work phone that it’s amazing.  And Kamala Harris thinks that going to El Paso is going to the border…your about 1,000 miles away at that point Sunshine.

Anyway, what do you say we get some laughter started, and then I’m sure, we’ll have some time to talk about other things.

The brain is the most amazing organ.  It works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, right from birth until your first erection.

“No, I don’t want your man.  I’m not even sure why you want your man.”

Well, if I’m reading this right, it’s off the market, but it’s worth 3/4 of a million dollars!  Damn!  I wasn’t fast enough!

I really don’t think I could cook in this kitchen …

Amen Stan!

Wow!

Mothers everywhere have the same problems

A friend suggested putting horse manure on my strawberries … I’m never doing that again, I’m going back to whipped cream.

I love old Science Fiction.  They have stories that begin, “It’s the distant year 2003 and humans are exploring the deep corners of the universe.”  God bless you old sci-fi.  You had such high hopes for us.

 

Worry is a misuse of Imagination!

I think I told you that Mrs. Dragon is really good at genealogy.  Here’s a really old picture she dug up of my great, great, great aunt Lucy. 

Thanks Lynn … I laughed like hell at this one …

Finally, a relevant question which the US Congress will have to debate:

Who pays the Checker?

There are important questions to be answered about recent LGBT bathroom legislation and whether transgender people will be permitted to use a restroom of the gender that they “identify” with or be required to use the restroom of their biological gender.

If the latter, would public restrooms be required to have a Genital Inspection Station at the entrance to all public restrooms?

Who will have to pay these Pecker Checkers, the people using the restroom, or the entity that owns the restroom?

And how much money will a Pecker Checker be paid to check peckers?

Or, do we pay a Pecker Checker by the number of peckers checked?

How many peckers can a Pecker Checker check if a Pecker Checker could check peckers?

What has this country come to when the U.S. Department of Labor has to create a new job description of Politically Correct Restroom Service Inspectors?

Want to guess their motto? “If You gotta pee – We gotta see! 

If you really must teach this way …

Okay, this is a really cool story.  Thanks to Lynn for this one, too.

Monopoly

Starting in 1941, an increasing number of British Airmen found themselves as the involuntary guests of the Third Reich, and the Crown was casting about for ways and means to facilitate their escape…  to that end is a useful and accurate map, one showing not only where stuff was, but also showing the locations of ‘safe houses’ where a POW on-the-lam could go for food and shelter.
Paper maps had some real drawbacks — they make a lot of noise when you open and fold them, they wear out rapidly, and if they get wet, they turn into mush.
Someone in MI-5 (similar to America ‘s OSS ) got the idea of printing escape maps on silk. It’s durable, can be scrunched-up into tiny wads, and unfolded as many times as needed, and makes no noise whatsoever.
At that time, there was only one manufacturer in Great Britain that had perfected the technology of printing on silk, and that was John Waddington, Ltd. When approached by the government, the firm was only too happy to do its bit for the war effort.
By pure coincidence, Waddington was also the U..K. Licensee for the popular American board game, Monopoly. As it happened, ‘games and pastimes’ was a category of item qualified for insertion into ‘CARE packages’, dispatched by the International Red Cross to prisoners of war.
Under the strictest of secrecy, in a securely guarded and inaccessible old workshop on the grounds of Waddington’s, a group of sworn-to-secrecy employees began mass-producing escape maps, keyed to each region of Germany or Italy where Allied POW camps were regional system). When processed, these maps could be folded into such tiny dots that they would actually fit inside a Monopoly playing piece.
As long as they were at it, the clever workmen at Waddington’s also managed to add:
1. A playing token, containing a small magnetic compass
2. A two-part metal file that could easily be screwed together
3. Useful amounts of genuine high-denomination German, Italian, and French currency, hidden within the piles of Monopoly money!
British and American air crews were advised, before taking off on their first mission, how to identify a ‘rigged’ Monopoly set — by means of a tiny red dot, one cleverly rigged to look like an ordinary printing glitch, located in the corner of the Free Parking square.
Of the estimated 35,000 Allied POWS who successfully escaped, an estimated one-third were aided in their flight by the rigged Monopoly sets.. Everyone who did so was sworn to secrecy indefinitely, since the British Government might want to use this highly successful ruse in still another, future war.
The story wasn’t declassified until 2007, when the surviving craftsmen from Waddington’s, as well as the firm itself, were finally honored in a public ceremony.
Story verification: http://blogs.wsj.com/informedreader/2007/11/19/wwii-pows-perk-monopoly-with-real-money/

You gotta love math humor

More Thanks to pass out today!  This is WONDERFUL!  You guys are fantastic!  A brand new list to put out and here it is:

Steven H.     Dan T.     Leah H.     Carlos W.       Ray S     William E.     Jonathon J.       Donald G.

Thank you all very, very much.  You all are a blessing.  And for the rest of you, you still have time.  You have until this weekend, even a dollar will help and add to the total.  Please, if you can, give a little bit, and if you can’t, your prayers and good wishes will help.  For those of you just tuning in, this push is for one of our security forces personnel.  On Memorial Day she was with her family and in a freak accident she rolled her four wheeler, injured her spine and now might be partially paralyzed for the rest of her life.  She has little kids at home and many, many challenges ahead of her and her family.  And we are trying to help.  And every little bit helps.  Thank you for all that you guys have done and will do.

Don’t put your business on Facebook and then tell us to mind our own business.  You’re an idiot.  I’m on Season 3, episode 4 of your bullshit.

In 1922, a man built a house and all his furniture entirely out of 100,000 newspapers. The structure still stands today in Rockport, Massachusetts.

Future Darwin Award Winner

We really don’t say “Thank You” enough and they don’t get paid nearly enough.

How can you tell?

That’s actually a really good idea.

I do all my own stunts,

but never intentionally.

Public masking is for your safety.

Vaccine passports are for your safety.

Stimulus checks are for your safety.

More welfare is for your safety.

Shutting down the pipeline is for your safety.

More government dependency is for your safety.

Allowing boys in girls locker rooms is for your safety.

Canceling opposing opinions is for your safety.

Rewriting history is for your safety.

Legalizing prostitution is for your safety.

Passing out clean needles for drug use is for your safety.

Lockdowns are for your safety.

Allowing looting is for your safety.

Sending billions of dollars overseas is for your safety.

Shutting down small business is for your safety.

Book burning is for your safety.

Making Christianity the enemy is for your safety.

Taking away your guns is for your safety.

Banning straws is for your safety.

Glorifying obesity is for your safety.

Making up fake diagnoses to appease you is for your safety.

Drugging children is for your safety.

Listen to the mainstream media for your safety.

Lying to you is for your safety.

Demonizing homeschooling is for your safety.

Rigging elections is for your safety.

Covering up child sex crimes is for your safety.

Feminizing men is for your safety.

Expanding government education (indoctrination) is for your safety.

Rationing food is for your safety.

Walls around government buildings- but not at our country’s borders- is for your safety.

Raising the cost of cheap effective medications by a hundred fold is for your safety.

Allowing perverts to parade their perversion around in your town is for your safety.

Celebrating abortion is for your safety.

Embracing a spectrum of genders is for your safety.

Singling out and intimidating non-maskers is for your safety.

Medical discrimination is for your safety.

Separating families in nursing homes is for your safety.

Banning fathers in ultrasound rooms to be with their pregnant wives is for your safety.

Injecting the mentally handicapped with experimental drugs is for your safety.

Masking while jogging alone outside is for your safety.

Raising taxes is for your safety.

Defunding the police is for your safety.

Treating you like you are stupid is for your safety.

Socialism is for your safety.

Communism is for your safety.

Hating your neighbor is for your safety.

Hating God is for your safety.

Don’t question anything.

Trust us.

It’s for your safety.

Tyranny is built plank by plank.

Stop participating in building the planks.

Resist tyranny. Defy tyrants.

 

 

 

I really like this next one …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They should put more whiskey in a bottle …

So there’s enough for two people.

This is how massive Tokyo is.
The world’s most densely populated city.

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Um…I’d like to make an observation …

My body is just a filter.

Coffee goes in, sarcasm comes out.

I lifted up my shirt to check out my abs and a Cheeto fell out … so there’s that.

I walked in and said to my wife, “I’ve been so busy I don’t know whether I’m coming or going!”

She said, “By the look on your face your going.  Because when you’re coming you look like a fucking stroke victim trying to whistle.”

I really need to straighten my life out.  This weather lately has made me realize that I can’t go to hell.

Asked my daughter to pass me the phone book, she laughed, called me a dinosaur and passed me her iphone.

Anyway, the spider is dead her phone is broken and she is furious!!!

And that’s it my friends.  Until next time.  Love and Happiness to you all.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

Good Morning Campers,

Well, as I told you in my last quick message, this week has been “interesting” … pure chaos.  But, not necessarily in a bad way.  Well, let me start from the beginning.  My Izzy Dragon is has some challenges in her life that she shouldn’t have to face, but life is what it is.  At the age of 19 she is getting her first EVER real job.  This has caused her no end of drama and tears.  This occurred on Monday.  This is also the day her phone died.  Which pretty much pushed her over the edge.  Did I mention she has anxiety issues?

  Then, the information from her old phone, wouldn’t transfer to her new phone.  Which included all her passwords and stuff that she needed to get the new phone set up. 

Then, the email she gave her new job for the new hire paperwork doesn’t work because she can’t remember the password for it because she set it up when she was in 4th grade and never had to use it again and when she goes to “forgot my password” can’t remember the answers to the security questions because, again, she set it up when she was in 4th grade.  She is now getting closer to the edge of having a complete breakdown.

And through all this, Mrs. Dragon is nervous as hell about her tests coming up (today…in just a couple of hours) and Izzy’s drama is pushing her closer to the edge.  I’ve taken half a day off every day this week just to try and solve problems and worked on said problems way late into the evening and am significantly minus on sleep by this point and am short handed at work and getting ready for multiple exercises and teaching a class on Saturday that needs to be prepped.

And opening her a real checking account with a debit card … that was fun.  But, I made sure that my name was on the account so I can go on line and see everything and help her out.  She needed that because her paycheck has to be direct deposited.  And she needed that anyway.

And through all this, Mrs. Dragon needed/wanted my attention, of course, because she’s nervous and we’re worried about her.  So … that’s why, the long version this time, you guys didn’t get a Dragon Laffs episode on Thursday.

But I do have some GOOD updates, too.  And we’ll get to those shortly, but first, let’s get this barbeque started …

 

I was watching a show called “10 Steps to Avoiding A Shark Attack”.  I was really quite surprised that “Stay Out of the Water” wasn’t step 1.

 

 

I don’t really Rise and Shine

I Caffeinate and

Hope for the Best

 

This next one just proves that you don’t mess with anything dragon related:

Last night I got my Viagra mixed up with my sleeping tablets …

I ended up having forty wanks!

No one laughs or even smiles when I sing, “Lord I was born a scramblin’ man” every time I make eggs, but that’s the dad life, baby.

One of my baby pictures …

Had a great time horseback riding today …

but then I ran out of quarters.

In all fairness, some of those who wander, are definitely lost.

Wow…I’m back in the 70s and there’s a bong close by …

And how we do it now …

Quite the difference.

When I was about 8, I asked my dad if we could play “the naked man game.”  My dad, trying not to panic, asked me what it was.  I responded, “It’s the one we play when the babysitter is over.”  He then asked me to show him where the naked man game was, so I took him to the closet, opened the door, and pointed to Operation.

He told me years later that he nearly had a heart attack.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity … and they vote!

“I think it’s pretty gross people breast feed.  It’s not milk, it’s body fluids.  Might as well feed your little one your pee.  We have bottles and formula … that’s meant to feed your baby.  Stop giving your body fluid a classy name by calling it milk.  ITS NOT MILK.  MILK COMES FROM COWS.  It’s almost like saying almonds make milk.  Idiots everywhere.”

I’m flabbergasted

Well, I don’t have an update on the young lady, although the last thing I heard was that she was doing good.  Much better than expected.  Not that she will ever be back to work or fully functional again, but not completely paralyzed.  I don’t know if she’ll ever get out of a wheelchair, that’s something for the future to decide, but is sounds like she’s like most real military members, she’s a fierce fighter and if anyone can do it, she can.  We’ve had some more donations, so some more people to thank.  You guys amaze me every single day.  You truly do.  You are an inspiration to me and I’ve been bragging on you.  I purposely haven’t announced any totals because some can give more than others and none are more important than others and every little bit counts.  I will, on the 4th of July when this closes down, announce the total we raised, but for right now, this is our list of donors:

Steven H.     Dan T.     Leah H.     Carlos W.     Ray S.     William E.     Jonathon J.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you all so very much!  It is a wonderful think you are doing.  And remember, there is still time for you guys.  Every little bit counts. 

This is what a huge rhododendron tree looks like.

The Jetsons takes place in 2062, and George Jetson is 40 years old, which means that somewhere right now George Jetson is being conceived.

Bob ran out of gas, and a bee flew in his car window.  “Are you out of gas?” said the bee.

“Yes,” said Bob.

“Gimme a minute,” said the bee, and flew away.  Minutes later, the bee returned with the entire hive of bees who all flew into his gas tank.  Moments later they emerged.

“Try it now.” said a passing bee.

Bob tried and the car started.  Bob said, “Wow!  What did you put in the tank?” …

BP

At 46 letters, Massachusetts’s Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg has the longest place name in the U.S.(even though it’s based on a joke).

As we get older we think differently, don’t we? This letter was sent to the principal’s office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all humankind ….especially if you are familiar with the elderly and their ways.
Dear Lincoln Elementary,
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent Senior Citizens luncheon. I am 85 years old and live at the Springer Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it’s nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.
My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping. The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears.
Her distress over the broken radio touched me and I knew this was God’s way of answering my prayers. She asked me if she could listen to mine, and I told her to kiss my ass.
Thank you for that opportunity.
Sincerely,
Agnes

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another one that the kids won’t get …

And I can honestly say as one of the ones who are working and being taxed … THIS SUCKS!

We all need to remember that!!

And that is it for today.  Mrs. Dragon’s tests went well … I guess.  We won’t find out anything until Wednesday when we go back to the heart doctor.  So … more pins and needles until then. 

Thank you all for sticking with for the long haul.  Love and happiness, peace and prosperity to you all.

Cheers!

Impish

Yes, I know I didn’t post today and right now I’m sitting in my car and writing this on my phone, so don’t expect long winded explanations one finger tap at a time.

Suffice to say that it has been an “interesting” week. Remember the old Chinese curse, “May you live in interesting times.” Yeah. Like that.

I’ll fill you guys in on Saturday but everyone is fine. No health issues. Although, Mrs Dragon does go in for all her tests tomorrow so say a little prayer for that if you would.

So, peace and prosperity…love and happiness until Saturday.

Cheers!

Impish