Dragon Laffs #1845


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Caffiene Molecule Mu;g

camel, surprised

Good Morning Campers,

Well, we made it through the weekend … or at least you guys did.  I’m doing the time traveling thing again.  For me, it’s still Saturday, but I’m speaking to you on Monday morning. magicpotion It’s truly amazing how science and technology works in the coffeemodern age!  I always hoped that I’d be around for time travel to become a thing and here it is..

I was told the other day that I am a mean father.  I think that monster6might be true.  I have one medication that I take that is delivered by BeerUPS and I got a message that said it wasn’t going to be delivered right away because they couldn’t get ahold of the doctor.  Well, it’s between holidays, so that made sense and I wasn’t going to worry that much about it since I wasn’t out, so I let it go.  Then I noticed I got another message from UPS saying I was getting a package delivered that day and I knew it could only be that medicine and since it had to be kept cold I also knew they had to knock on the door.    Here’s where the mean father part comes in … we were all in the living room right by the front door when there was a noise by the door.  And it just so happened that both dogs were outside at the time, so they didn’t bark at the sound.  Izzy heard the noise and wondered what that was.  I KNEW it was the UPS driver delivering the box, but didn’t say anything.  She walked up to the front door, pulled the curtain back at the same time he leaned over to ring the door bell which put them about nose to nose through the glass. 

Now, you have to picture our Izzy dragon suffers from anxiety anyway, and our normal UPS guy is a wonderful man who I’ve had several conversations with, but he is a GIANT black man.  Now Izzy pulls back the curtain to see a bear of a black man in a brown uniform wearing a brown face mask looking back in at her just as the door bell rings right next to her ear and she SCREAMS and of course IHeader1846 LAUGHED so hard tears are rolling down my cheeks because that worked out so much better than I could have ever expected.  The poor UPS driver is headed back to his truck and I stick my head out the door and yell, “Sorry about that.” and his reply was, “You’d be amazed, but it happens all the time.”

Now … I have to ask you … does that make me a bad father?  Well, we’ll have to see how long I’m in the doghouse… but I’m still laughing about it.

lightbulb

let's laugh

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I know, right?

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care.

So, it works out.

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Today’s bozo criminal comes from Ocean City, New Jersey. Bozo Sam Hall broke into a rare coin shop and began rummaging around. Wasn’t too long before he came across a book detailing the values of the various coins and since he didn’t know which ones were worth stealing, he must have decided to sit down and do a little research. Obviously, a book of coin values is pretty boring reading and soon Sam was fast asleep. And that’s how the police found him, happily sawing logs with the book of coin values in his lap.

Critter

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This next one was sent to me by our furry friend Sasquatch…who’s been sending me some really interesting stuff lately that I will work in where and how I can.  This one I found quite interesting and it’s a subject we’ve talked about before.

MAGINE THAT! THEY WILL NEVER TELL YOU THESE FACTS.

You may already be aware of all this, but put into perspective it is pretty insightful, and the conclusion is the eye opener!! Pass this along to 2nd Amendment supporters (and detractors)!!!

EXCELLENT! STATS ON GUN VIOLENCE Interesting statistics! This jives with the research of Prof. Lott at the University of Chicago, who is a noted expert on gun laws and stats.

There are 30,000 gun related death s per year by firearms, and this number is not disputed. The U.S. population is 324,059,091 as of June 22, 2016. Do the math: 0.00925% of the population dies from gun related actions each year. Statistically speaking, this is insignificant! What is never told, however, is a breakdown of those 30,000 deaths, to put them in perspective as compared to other causes of death:

65% of those deaths are by suicide, which would never be prevented by gun laws.

15% are by law enforcement in the line of duty and justified.

17% are through criminal activity, gang and drug related or mentally ill persons – better known as gun violence.

3% are accidental discharge deaths.

So technically, “gun violence” is not 30,000 annually, but drops to 5,100. Still too many? Now lets look at how those deaths spanned across the nation.

480 homicides (9.4%) were in Chicago

344 homicides (6.7%) were in Baltimore

333 homicides (6.5%) were in Detroit

119 homicides (2.3%) were in Washington D.C. (a 54% increase over prior years)

So basically, 25% of all gun crime happens in just 4 cities. All 4 of those cities have strict gun laws, so it is not the lack of law that is the root cause.

This basically leaves 3,825 for the entire rest of the nation, or about 75 deaths per state. That is an average because some States have much higher rates than others. For example, California had 1,169 and Alabama had 1.

Now, who has the strictest gun laws by far? California, of course, but understand, it is not guns causing this. It is a crime rate spawned by the number of criminal persons residing in those cities and states. So, if all cities and states are not created equal, then there must be something other than the tool causing the gun deaths.

Are 5,100 deaths per year horrific? How about in comparison to other deaths? All death is sad and especially so when it is in the commission of a crime but that is the nature of crime. Robbery, death, rape, assaults are all done by criminals. It is ludicrous to think that criminals will obey laws. That is why they are called criminals.

But what about other deaths each year?

40,000+ die from a drug overdose–THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR THAT!

36,000 people die per year from the flu, far exceeding the criminal gun deaths.

34,000 people die per year in traffic fatalities(exceeding gun deaths even if you include suicide).

Now it gets good:

200,000+ people die each year (and growing) from preventable medical errors. You are safer walking in the worst areas of Chicago than you are when you are in a hospital!

710,000 people die per year from heart disease. It’s time to stop the double cheeseburgers! So, what is the point? If the liberal loons and the anti-gun movement focused their attention on heart disease, even a 10% decrease in cardiac deaths would save twice the number of lives annually of all gun-related deaths (including suicide, law enforcement, etc.).

A 10% reduction in medical errors would be 66% of the total number of gun deaths or 4 times the number of criminal homicides ……………. Simple, easily preventable 10% reductions! So, you have to ask yourself, in the grand scheme of things, why the focus on guns?

It’s pretty simple:
Taking away guns gives control to governments. The founders of this nation knew that regardless of the form of government, those in power may become corrupt and seek to rule as the British did by trying to disarm the populace of the colonies. It is not difficult to understand that a disarmed populace is a controlled populace.

Thus, the second amendment was proudly and boldly included in the U.S. Constitution. It must be preserved at all costs . So, the next time someone tries to tell you that gun control is about saving lives, look at these facts and remember these words from Noah Webster: “Before a standing army can rule, the people must be disarmed.”

Absolutely wonderfully stated! 

And just got this from Sasquatch, so I came back up here to add it, since it fit right in.  Here is a really good video to go along with all that we just talked about: https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=682JLrsUmEM 

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Okay, I’m flabbergasted … how can the President of the United States give a speech from the White House and no news networks cover it?  This makes no sense to me at all?  How is this possible?  But according to Sasquatch and the website and stuff that he sent me here, that’s exactly what happened.  I’d sure like some comments from you guys …

Every one who views this should CALL their Congress person & demand this be shown & acted upon immediately.

Subject: Trump masterfully delivers the facts & truth of the

stolen election

Trump ’s speech yesterday December 24, 2020 that NO MAJOR MEDIA COVERED! Appalling censorship ; see before it is remove d.

“Trump’s speech was  hidden from the American public.  (Bill Still Report)

I’ve looked but not seen it posted anywhere else.

-DL

https://www.youtube.com/embed/d399gk-73J8

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dragon pix

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I said, no solicitors!

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Warning To All Parents

Immediately stop feeding your kids Rice Krispies.  It is not absorbed in your body in a healthy manner.  It is stored in your body, and the effects become visible when you are older.  I used to eat Rice Krispies, and now that I am older I can testify to the effects of this.  Every morning when I wake up and get out of bed, everything in my body snaps, crackles, and pops.  Pass this message on to everyone, to stop this from happening in their old age.

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fantasy

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Okay, now remember.  His wife is going to let us in the back door, and we’re all going to hide.  When he gets home we’re going to turn on the light and all yell, “SURPRISE!”

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Oh, I don’t know … kinda depends on who’s doing the jumping.

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We were the only family with children in the restaurant. I sat Erik in a high chair and noticed everyone was quietly sitting and talking. Suddenly, Erik squealed with glee and said, ‘Hi.’ He pounded his fat baby hands on the high chair tray. His eyes were crinkled in laughter and his mouth was bared in a toothless grin, as he wriggled and giggled with merriment.

I looked around and saw the source of his merriment. It was a man whose pants were baggy with a zipper at half-mast and his toes poked out of would-be shoes. His shirt was dirty and his hair was uncombed and unwashed. His whiskers were too short to be called a beard and his nose was so varicose it looked like a road map.

We were too far from him to smell, but I was sure he smelled.. His hands waved and flapped on loose wrists.. ‘Hi there, baby; hi there, big boy. I see ya, buster,’ the man said to Erik.

My husband and I exchanged looks, ‘What do we do?’

Erik continued to laugh and answer, ‘Hi.’

Everyone in the restaurant noticed and looked at us and then at the man. The old geezer was creating a nuisance with my beautiful baby. Our meal came and the man began shouting from across the room, ‘Do ya patty cake? Do you know peek-a-boo? Hey, look, he knows peek- a-boo.’

Nobody thought the old man was cute. He was obviously drunk. My husband and I were embarrassed. We ate in silence; all except for Erik, who was running through his repertoire for the admiring skid-row bum, who in turn, reciprocated with his cute comments.

We finally got through the meal and headed for the door. My husband went to pay the check and told me to meet him in the parking lot. The old man sat poised between me and the door. ‘Lord, just let me out of here before he speaks to me or Erik,’ I prayed. As I drew closer to the man, I turned my back trying to sidestep him and avoid any air he might be breathing. As I did, Erik leaned over my arm, reaching with both arms in a baby’s ‘pick-me-up’ position. Before I could stop him, Erik had propelled himself from my arms to the man.

Suddenly a very old smelly man and a very young baby consummated their love and kinship. Erik in an act of total trust, love, and submission laid his tiny head upon the man’s ragged shoulder. The man’s eyes closed, and I saw tears hover beneath his lashes. His aged hands full of grime, pain, and hard labor, cradled my baby’s bottom and stroked his back. No two beings have ever loved so deeply for so short a time.

I stood awestruck. The old man rocked and cradled Erik in his arms and his eyes opened and set squarely on mine. He said in a firm commanding voice, ‘You take care of this baby.’

Somehow I managed, ‘I will,’ from a throat that contained a stone.

He pried Erik from his chest, lovingly and longingly, as though he were in pain. I received my baby, and the man said, ‘God bless you, ma’am, you’ve given me my Christmas gift.’

I said nothing more than a muttered thanks. With Erik in my arms, I ran for the car. My husband was wondering why I was crying and holding Erik so tightly, and why I was saying, ‘My God, my God, forgive me.’

I had just witnessed Christ’s love shown through the innocence of a tiny child who saw no sin, who made no judgment; a child who saw a soul, and a mother who saw a suit of clothes. I was a Christian who was blind, holding a child who was not.. I felt it was God asking, ‘Are you willing to share your son for a moment?’ when He shared His for all eternity. How did God feel when he put his baby in our arms 2000 years ago.

The ragged old man, unwittingly, had reminded me, ‘To enter the Kingdom of God , we must become as little children.’

Sometimes, it takes a child to remind us of what is really important. We must always remember who we are, where we came from and, most importantly, how we feel about others. The clothes on your back or the car that you drive or the house that you live in does not define you at all; it is how you treat your fellow man that identifies who you are.

Thanks to Lynn for that one, but … I don’t know.  I’m an old, untrusting, mean dragon.  I put myself between my family and the rest of the world.  I don’t think I could’ve done that with a baby.

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patriotic

This is perhaps a very good time to do a bunch of these …

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This is probably going to be too old for most of you guys, but some of you older ones will appreciate it.  Thanks to Sasquatch for sending this along … I didn’t know a lot of this …

Our Gang,

Here are some things I didn’t know. When you see the picture of Pete the Pup, the dog with the circle around his eye, it is not hair, but was placed there by a makeup artist.  Who was the makeup artist?  A young man named Max Factor.  This makes a great trivia question at a party.

Only we, the vintage people would remember.  SPANKY & OUR GANG.  Some things I bet a lot of you didn’t know. I certainly didn’t!  These pictures are great.

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Whatever happened to those people?

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In case you forgot who is who …

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Well here it is …

The Our Gang Curse

Alfalfa …

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Carl Switzer was shot to death at age 31.

Chubby …

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300 – pound Norman Chaney died at age 22 following an operation.

Buckwheat …

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William Thomas died at age 49 of a heart attack.  (Wow, I never knew that Buckwheat was male!) Of course Buckwheat was male!

Darla Hood …

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The Our Gang leading lady contracted hepatitis and died at age 47.

Brisbane …

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Kendall McCormas, Known as Breezy Brisbane, committed suicide at 64

Froggy …

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William Robert Laughline was killed in a motor scooter accident at age 16.

Mickey Daniels …

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He died of liver disease at 55.

Stymie …

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Mathew Bear led a life of crime and drugs.  He died of a stroke at age 56.

Scotty Beckett …

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He died at age 38 following a brutal beating.

Wheezer …

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Robert Hutchins was killed in an airplane accident at age 19.

Pete the Pup …

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He was poisoned by an unknown assailant.

Butch …

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Currently lives in California.

And of course …

Spanky …

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Robert Blake was accused of murdering his wife.  And didn’t.  I didn’t know that was Robert Blake!  Me neither!!  Did any of you?  Wow! 

That was way cool. 

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The answer may not lie at the bottom of a bottle of wine.

But you should at least check.

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My friend Joe recently went on the Dolly Parton diet…
It made Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean!

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motivational

Escape

OIHO

So I was at work and

Woddle

Woman's Sports

Women Drivers

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Women

Women2

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Me: *sneaks out of the house* *drives to another state*

*hides in a cave* *quietly opens a bag of chips*

My kids: Can we have some?.

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How do people lose their kids at the mall?

Seriously, any tips would be greatly appreciated.

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My password is the last 16 digits of Pi.

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I need to start paying closer attention to stuff.  I found out today that my wife and I have separate names for our cat.

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HEY!  Me, too!

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A beautiful girl in a restaurant asked me, “Are you single?”

I happily replied, “Yes.”

She took away the extra chair at my table.

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And that’s it for today my friends…I hope you had as much fun reading this as I had writing it.  Until next time … may your week be filled with joy and happiness.

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1845

  1. dowchuckil says:

    just a little dubious about the [ our gang,,, little rascals] info. pretty sure it is WRONG. froggy was not spanky, and spanky was not robert blake.

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