Dragon Laffs #1799


Labor Day

Good Morning Campers,labor_day_1

Good Labor Day!!!!  Or should it be Happy Labor Day?  I’m not really sure.  What is Labor Day?  Well, according to the U. S. Department of Labor’s website, Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the Labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers.  It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country.  

The first Labor Day holiday was celebrated on Tuesday, September 5, 1882, in New York City, in accordance with the plans of the Central Labor Union. The Central Labor Union held its second Labor Day holiday just a year later, on September 5, 1883.

labor_day_rosieBy 1894, 23 more states had adopted the holiday, and on June 28, 1894, President Grover Cleveland signed a law making the first Monday in September of each year a national holiday.

Sounds like a holiday to celebrate how hard we work…yeah … let’s go with that!  LOL!  And on that note, let’s get to some of the fun stuff and maybe we’ll get back to some of the Labor Day stuff, too.
 
Let's Laugh 5
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When I see lovers’ names carved in a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet.  I just think it’s surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

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My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the UPS guy knocked on our door to see if we’re okay.

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Here’s a cute story from the Department of Labor Website about the very first Labor Day celebration – Kegs?  Did someone say Kegs?

Labor Daze – Pride, Chaos and Kegs on Labor’s First ‘Day’

On the morning of September 5, 1882, a crowd of spectators filled the sidewalks of lower Manhattan near city hall and along Broadway. They had come early, well before the Labor Day parade marchers, to claim the best vantage points from which to view the first Labor Day parade. A newspaper account of the day described “…men on horseback, men wearing regalia, men with society aprons, and men with flags, musical instruments, badges, and all the other paraphernalia of a procession.”

The police, wary that a riot would break out, were out in force that morning as well. By 9 a.m., columns of police and club-wielding officers on horseback surrounded city hall.

By 10 a.m., the Grand Marshall of the parade, William McCabe, his aides and their police escort were all in place for the start of the parade. There was only one problem: none of the men had moved. The few marchers that had shown up had no music.

According to McCabe, the spectators began to suggest that he give up the idea of parading, but he was determined to start on time with the few marchers that had shown up. Suddenly, Mathew Maguire of the Central Labor Union of New York (and probably the father of Labor Day) ran across the lawn and told McCabe that two hundred marchers from the Jewelers Union of Newark Two had just crossed the ferry — and they had a band!

Just after 10 a.m., the marching jewelers turned onto lower Broadway — they were playing “When I First Put This Uniform On,” from Patience, an opera by Gilbert and Sullivan. The police escort then took its place in the street. When the jewelers marched past McCabe and his aides, they followed in behind. Then, spectators began to join the march. Eventually, there were 700 men in line in the first of three divisions of Labor Day marchers. Final reports of the total number of marchers ranged from 10,000 to 20,000 men and women.

With all of the pieces in place, the parade marched through lower Manhattan. The New York Tribune reported that: “The windows and roofs and even the lamp posts and awning frames were occupied by persons anxious to get a good view of the first parade in New York of workingmen of all trades united in one organization.”

At noon, the marchers arrived at Reservoir Park, the termination point of the parade. While some returned to work, most continued on to the post-parade party at Wendel’s Elm Park at 92nd Street and Ninth Avenue; even some unions that had not participated in the parade showed up to join in the post-parade festivities that included speeches, a picnic, an abundance of cigars, and “Lager beer kegs… mounted in every conceivable place.”

From 1 p.m. until 9 p.m. that night, nearly 25,000 union members and their families filled the park and celebrated the very first, and almost entirely disastrous, Labor Day.

And if you gotta be in a parade, there ought to be beer at the end!

LaborDay1

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In my experience, I’ve found this to be quite true.

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*Slapping a skinny girl’s ass*

Neighbors : You hear that gun shot?!

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My Therapist:  Why aren’t you being honest with me?

Me:  Because I don’t want to be hospitalized…

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Stupid should hurt – and we, as parents, should let it hurt.  Just ask the Whelpling.  When he was growing up, there was about a 6 month period where we called poison control on that kid like 5 times.  EVERYTHING went in this kids mouth!  We never had to take him to the hospital to have his stomach pumped or anything, thank God, he just scared the shit out of us, but it was funny, the phone rang one afternoon and I answered it, back when phones were still on the wall and and you didn’t know who was calling you until you picked it up.  I said hello and this nice lady on the other end said, “Hi, this is Poison Control.  We haven’t heard from you for a few weeks and we just wanted to call and make sure that the Whelpling was still okay.”  POISON CONTROL CALLED US TO MAKE SURE OUR SON WAS STILL ALIVE!!!  I laughed so hard I cried.

Yes, stupid should hurt.  That kid got stitches in more places…geez.  And yes, I have three rough and tumble grandkids, two boys and a girl that take right after their dad!  And I couldn’t be prouder!

Stupid should hurt because that’s how you learn!

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Amen

Being white isn’t all that great ‘cuz dancing really looks fun.

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Boy, ain’t that the truth!

I got this next one from Papa Dragon Most Senior.  My Dad.  I’m not sure who he got it from other than the name, since he doesn’t delete the forwarding addresses, which I will not include here, but will include the little essay she wrote.  It is well worth the read.

I received this from a friend today who is a Democrat.  This is well worth the read, she really put a lot of thought in this.

Salient Thoughts

In past discussions we have talked about this election and I thought this pretty much sums it up for me.

In just three months, it will be over.  The U.S. presidential election, I mean.  Not the end of the world.  But maybe the end of our nation, as we have known it.  No I will not be voting for Biden…. I am not voting for a man.  I am not rallying for a personality.  I am not pushing a person.  At this point, I am voting for one thing and one thing only.  I am voting for the principles for which this country has stood since it’s founding.  I am voting for Constitutional government.  I am voting for a strong and viable military.  I am voting for a vibrant economy.  I am voting for the right to keep and bear arms.  I am voting for the freedom to worship.  I am voting for a national recognition of the founding of our nation on Biblical principles.  I am voting for the ability for anyone to rise above their circumstances and become successful.  I am voting for my children and grandchildren to be able to choose their own path in life, including how and where their children are educated.  I am voting for our borders to be open to everyone who enters under our law and closed to everyone who would circumvent or ignore the law. I am voting for the Electoral College to remain in place, so that a few heavily populated liberal centers do not control the elections. I am voting for a Supreme Court that interprets the Constitution rather than rewrites it.  I am voting to teach history, with all of it’s warts, not erase it or revise it.

Now, there are some things I am voting against. I am voting against open borders.  I am voting against a rampant welfare system that enslaves it’s recipients.  I am voting against socialism, in all of it’s forms, including health care, redistribution, reparations, economics, governmental control, pedophilia, and criminal releases, etc.  I would rather pay for prison reform then see the criminals released to repeatedly commit the same crimes!  So, although I don’t give blanket approval to everything our President has done or said in the past, I do support him as our president!  I am not voting against Joe Biden, but I am voting against every thing that the party backing him and propping him up stands for.  It is not the Democratic Party of the past.  Three months is all we have!

Very well said, Ma’am.  I salute you.

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Took my wife to Subway today.  I asked the girl to make me a sandwich and she said, “Sure, no problem.”

I turned to my wife and said, “Now how mutherfuckin hard was that?”

slap1

And yet another warning from Aussie Peter

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I don’t know what the hell it is in there, but I ain’t putting my foot in there.

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You have no idea the amount and nature of the one-liners that are currently going through this dragon’s head right now.

I didn’t realize how bad my driving was until my GPS said, “In 400 feet make a slight right, stop, and let me out.”

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Yup, that would be my luck …

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I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a six-foot pole” would become national policy, but here we are.

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Rearrange these letters to form words:

1.  PNEIS

2.  BUTTSXE

Did you get *SPINE* and *SUBTEXT*?

Yeah … neither did I.

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Hey!  Yeah!  Me, too!

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I just saw three people jogging outside and it inspired me …

To get up and close the blinds

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Yes.  Yes they do.

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Okay …. drum roll please …

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Well, close enough … It’s time to do these things ..

Untitled-02

And an extra-large batch today because I’m feeling extra-generous and it is Labor Day after all …

Every

Smurfette

Smurfs

Snakes

Snjpers on Bikes

Snorting Coke

Snow White

so if everyone

So this

So, I just divided by zero and then

So...

so

Soccer

Socialism

Socialism2

You dumbasses getting it yet?

so-cute-itll-make-your-head-explode

Sofa Bison

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Did You Know: (Yes I do!) (You do?) (Yup!) (But I haven’t said anything yet…) (But, I still know) (How do you know?) (Because I can smell the alcohol on your breath and if it has to do with alcohol I know all about it) (That’s amazing, if true, so let’s see) At any given time, there are at least … 27 open bottles of alcohol in my bar … (no, let me finish) … 18.5 million Barrels … of Whisky maturing in Scotland.  (That was easy)  (That was amazing)

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Do you ever get up in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror, and think … “That can’t be accurate.”

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And on a related note …

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As I watch this generation try to rewrite history, one thing I’m sure of … it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

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Rumors are circulating in California that radical Muslims

Are planning to go on a rampage in Los Angeles, killing

Anyone who is white and born in the U.S.

Police fear the death toll could be as high as 23.

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Warning about E-Bay

Be careful what you buy on E-Bay.

If you buy stuff on-line, check out the seller carefully.

A friend has just spent $195 plus sales tax on a penis enlarger.

Bastards sent him a magnifying glass.

The only instruction said, “Do not use in sunlight.”

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3b

Text message

There was a group of women at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband.

The women were asked, “How many of you love your husbands?”

All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?”

Some women answered today, some yesterday, some didn’t remember.

The women were then told to take their phones and send the following text: “I love you, sweetheart.”

Then the women were told to exchange phones and read the responding text messages.

Here are some of the replies:

1.  Who is this?

2.  Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?

3.  I love you too.

4.  What now?  Did you crash the car again?

5.  I don’t understand what you mean?

6.  What did you do now?

7.  ?!!???

8.  Don’t beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?

9.  Am I dreaming?

10. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.

11. I thought we agreed we would not to drink during the day.

12. Your mother is coming to stay, isn’t she??

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labor2

Well, we didn’t get too much more into the whole Labor Day thing, but I hope you had a nice holiday none-the-less.  I get to go back to work tomorrow after almost a week off of ignoring my job and handling family matters, which, yes, were more important, but the thought of what I have facing me almost scares me into retirement.

But … since I can’t afford to retire … I must go face the music … or the firing squad … whichever.

Thank you all again for all your love and support throughout this stressful and difficult time.  1aYou guys are much more than just readers or an audience.  You are friends, family, loved ones.  You are campers in the playground that Dragon Laffs has created in my mind and many of you have taken up residence and have stayed and played right along with me all these many years and you have no idea how much I have appreciated it.

The itch to write, to tell a story, to entertain is never very far from the ends of my fingers and although this is not a complete and total release, it is a cold compress keeping the fever at bay and you all help with that and I thank you with all my heart.

Until nest time.

Cheers!

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1 Response to Dragon Laffs #1799

  1. Leah D. says:

    I’m proud of you! I thought you wouldn’t let Labor Day got by without a joke about women delivering babies.. . but you topped it with the storks!

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