Dragon Laffs #1784


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Good Morning 3

Good Saturday Morning to you my dear Campers!

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While you guys are relaxing and reading this wonderfully marvelous ezine, I am teaching CBRN Defense Training to a bunch of very eager GIs.  Okay … so, truth be told, they are probably only anxious to be out of my class and NOT wearing their MOPP gear!  Okay, so really quick lesson for those of you who might be new here … everyone who’s new raise your hands, the rest of you can go and run and get a fast coffee refill (Aussie Peter, since you’re on the other side of the world, it’s probably something alcoholic for you … well, it may very well be something alcoholic for a lot of you.  No judgment here.  If it wasn’t a working Saturday for me, it may well be something alcoholic for me, too; the way my2b1 damn month has been going). 

Anyway, CBRN is Chemical, Biological, Radiological, and Nuclear Defense Training.  Basically, I’m teaching the military members how to stay alive in crappy environments.  Yeah, I got a pretty cool gig.  One of the many things I do for Uncle Sam.  So, I’m in class all day teaching today and tomorrow … a dragon’s work is never done.

But … I got a new mask in the mail today (Thursday) and I may wear it just like this to teach class.  I’m definitely going to start wearing it in protest because

#1 It is much more comfortable than the old mask and
b.  It looks way cool …. what do you guys think?
This is me …

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Yeah … I’m thinking that’s the PERFECT way to teach class … LOL!

So, sit back, relax, enjoy your morning with Dragon Laffs and have a great weekend and now …

coollogo_com-284913002 (2)

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This is not g0ing to go how you expect …

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Me too.

So, okay, let’s just jump right into the contraversy … Lynn sent me this one.  Not sure where it all came from, looks like from a couple different people, but I agree with it, so here it is

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On Sunday, July 26, 2020, 1:08:44 PM CDT, Harry wrote:
My memory may be a bit shaky, but the following  are germane:

The NFL went on strike in 1974.  I, along with many other fans, were not pleased, but generally we accepted it and returned to watching games.

By 1982, I was a three games per Sunday fan; the NFL went on strike.  I was torqued and went sailing.  I met some great people, participated in some fantastic races, and spent my Sundays outdoors.  I had a great time and did not miss the NFL.

In 1987, after I had slowly returned to watching some NFL games, they went on strike again.  I continued to sail.  That was great!

In 2011, after watching an infrequent NFL game, a “lockout” occurred.  I quit watching NFL games.

By 2016, I was starting to think about watching an NFL game, when a lackluster quarterback decided to “take a knee” and express his political opinions during the playing of the National Anthem.  The NFL did nothing.  I reaffirmed my decision to not watch the NFL.

Today, after reviewing the NFL’s track record, I have concluded that the high-gurus of the NFL and many of their “players” (1) would rather make political statements than play quality football, (2) are vastly overpaid, spoiled, uncaring adolescents, (3) don’t give a “tinker’s damn” about their nation or the fans that play their salaries through attendance at games or purchasing the products of their sponsors, and (4) aren’t worth my time to watch them.
Adios, NFL!
Sent: 7/25/2020 10:08:17 PM Eastern Standard Time
Subject: The NFL Truth

The NFL Truth
NFL “Refresher” NFL History…history not often reported or leaked to the ticket holders. I hope this helps you; it opened my eyes, to better understand when and why the public’s respect for the NFL organization started to crumble….
* In 2012 the NFL had an issue with Tim Tebow kneeling before each game to pray, they also had an issue with Tebow wearing John 3:16 as part of his eye-black to avoid glare, and made him take it off.
* In 2013 the NFL fined Brandon Marshall for wearing green cleats to raise awareness for people with mental health disorders.
* In 2014 Robert Griffin III (RG3) entered a post-game press conference wearing a shirt that said “Know Jesus Know Peace” but was forced to turn it inside out by an NFL uniform inspector before speaking at the podium.
* In 2015 DeAngelo Williams was fined for wearing “Find the Cure “eye black for breast cancer awareness.
* In 2015 William Gay was fined for wearing purple cleats to raise awareness for domestic violence. (Not that the NFL has a domestic violence problem..).
*In 2016 the NFL prevented the Dallas Cowboys from wearing a decal on their helmet in honor of 5 Dallas Police officers killed in the line of duty.
* 2016 the NFL threatened to fine players who wanted to wear cleats to commemorate the 15th anniversary of 9/11.
So tell me again how the NFL supports free speech and expression. It seems quite clear based on these facts that the NFL has taken a position against any action by NFL players demonstrating RESPECT for any issue:
For God, social causes such as mental health, cancer, domestic violence, for cops killed arbitrarily, for being cops, or for the Memory of 9/11…

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BUT they will allow demonstrations of DISRESPECT for our National Flag, our National Anthem, for America,  a and for the American People if it will help mollify a particular Group and its supporters. That is who and what the NFL now has shown itself to be.
Pass this post along to all your friends and family, if you believe it worthy of sharing. Honor our military; too many of whom have come home with the American Flag draped over their coffin.

Summary: The NFL has become woke and they have bought into the Black Lives Matter Organization. Simple, if BLMO likes it it is in. If BLMO doesn’t like it, it is out.  Disrespect for flag and country are in. Religion and God are out.

And I agree with the sentiments expressed here as well.  Harry, I don’t know who you are, and I hope you don’t mind me quoting your writings here, thanks to Lynn, I for one, will not be watching the NFL this year.  It’s all bullshit.  And like I’ve said before, you NEVER kneel for the National Anthem.  Kneel before, kneel after, whatever.  But that is sacred. 

And if that bothers you, then you are reading the wrong damn ezine.

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Headline in The Toronto Star 06/14/96

Marijuana Issue Sent To A Joint Committee

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Some more pretty strange headlines:

Bridges Help People Cross Rivers

Cow Urine Makes For Juicy Lemons

There is something insanely intriguing with this one … I want to know more and am grossed out at the same time!

City Unsure Why The Sewer Smells

Study Shows Frequent Sex Enhances Pregnancy Chances

You would think so anyway … would have been fun to take part in the study.

Meeting On Open Meetings Is Closed

Man Accused of Killing Lawyer Receives a New Attorney

Starvation Can Lead to Health Hazards

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Okay, show of hands … how many of you out there got this one?

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What a worthless, disgusting, piece-of-shit person she is!!!

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If everyone of you would share this with as many of your friends as you can and show them what a piece of shit she is, that would be wonderful.  Sure, it’s worth throwing some people under the bus to get what we want.  Completely unlike the “Leave no man behind” “No child left behind” “Fill in the blank Lives Matter”

FUCKING HYPOCRITES!!!!!

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Just when I am getting used to the voices in my head, One of them started stuttering.

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A husband and wife are cooing over their new born baby.

“Look at the size of his cock,” says the man.  “It’s massive!”

“Yes dear,” says the woman.  “But at least he’s got your ears.”

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Do not let them take the temperature on your forehead as you enter the supermarket, because it erases your memory.  I went for macaroni and cheese and came home with two cases of beer.

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Thanks to Stephanie for these … and yes, dear Stephanie, it IS a good thing you love me, too.

These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism  Website – a Melbourne University Tourism Studies Major working in the summer holidays answered….I’m tempted to believe that it was our own Aussie Peter who may have answered most of these …

1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.


2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking

3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water…

4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
A: Let’s not touch this one.

6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What, did your last slave die of?

7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific which does not… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.  See, this one I’m almost positive was answered by Peter.

8. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

10.Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.  Peter

11. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, correct?

12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

13. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don’t stink.

14. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Australia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

15. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

16. Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we’ll import them.

17. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.

18. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum.(USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

19. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.  Is there a single solitary reader out there who doubts in the least that this one was written by our own Peter?

20. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

21. Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first.

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Oh to be six again … and to have more time … there are so many things that I’d love to be doing with this ezine … comments that I’d love to be exploring more, subjects that I’d like to spend more time on … but there just isn’t time for it all.  It’s like holding down another full time job.  There is so much time-worthy stuff out there to explore and get into with you guys.  Not just the laughter, which I know most of you tune in for, but the other stuff, too.

Sasquatch writes and says:

Sasquatch

Michigan’s governor has you beat. Ms. science and reason just closed the bars again up north but is letting the casinos in Detroit open next week.

We are told to be safe we shouldn’t hand people money, we should put it on the counter for a “contact free” payment. Ummm doesn’t that just add another point of contact? Every day the madness grows.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned about politicians, they don’t have to be smart to be elected.  If that were the case, most of them couldn’t hold the job.  Why don’t they have to pass a test?  Don’t most of the rest of us have to pass SOME sort of test to have or keep the job we have?  Why shouldn’t it be the same for them? 

There ought to be a law … oh yeah … right.

And Donne says:

Yer killin’ me. We went camping last week, and while we were gone, our sump pump died. Will you PLEASE stop having disasters so I can, too? Thanks.

This year can just be over. Sheesh.

Donnie

I agree 100% Donnie!  I’m so ready!

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No!  Just NO!

Motivate

Reading

Real Estate

real life

Real or Fake

Real Reason

Real Soldiers

Realists

reality

Reality2

Reality3

Reality4

Reality5

Reality6

Realization

realization2

Really, I don't mind

Rear naked choke

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Eight Qualities of a Perfect Man

Brave
Intelligent
Gentle

Polite
Energetic
Nutty
Industrious
Sensitive

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See, this is the perfect example of the inadequacies of Word Press.  This is from a video, but since I can no longer show you videos, I have to write it out and transpose it for you word for word, but it is important enough that I am going to take the time to do that.  Leah D. sent it to me and it’s from a YouTube video:

Retired Marine Col. Jeffrey A. Powers Letter To NFL Commissioner,

I’ve been a season pass holder at Yankee Stadium, Yale Bowl and Giants Stadium.

I missed the ‘90-‘91 season because I was with a battalion of Marines in Desert Storm.

14 of my wonderful Marines returned home with the American Flag draped across their lifeless bodies.

My last conversation with one of them, Sgt Garrett Mongrella, was about how our Giants were going to the Super Bowl.

He never got to see it.

Many friends, Marines, and Special Forces Soldiers who worked with or for me through the years returned home with the American Flag draped over their coffins.

Now I watch multi-millionaire athletes who never did anything in their lives but play a game, disrespect what brave Americans fought and died for.

They are essentially spitting in the faces and on the graves of real men, men who have actually done something for this country beside playing with a ball and believing they’re something special!

They’re not!

My Marines and Soldiers were!

You are complicit in this!  You’ll fine players for large and small infractions but you lack the moral courage and respect for our nation and the fallen to put an immediate stop to this.

Yes, I know, it’s their 1st Amendment right to behave in such a despicable manner.

What would happen if they came out and disrespected you or the refs publicly?

I  observed a player getting a personal foul for twerking in the end zone after scoring.

I guess that’s much worse than disrespecting the flag and our National Anthem. Hmmmm, isn’t it his 1st Amendment right to express himself like an idiot in the end zone?

Why is taunting not allowed yet taunting America is OK?

You fine players for wearing 9-11 commemorative shoes yet you allow scum on the sidelines to sit, kneel or pump their pathetic fist in the air.

They are so deprived with their multi-million dollar contracts for playing a freaking game!

You condone it all by your refusal to act.  You’re just as bad and disgusting as they are

I hope Americans boycott any sponsor who supports that rabble you call the NFL.

I hope they turn off the TV when any team that allowed this disrespect to occur, without consequence, on the sidelines.

I applaud those who have not.

Legends and heroes do NOT wear shoulder pads.  They wear body armor and carry rifles.

They make minimum wage and spend months and years away from their families.  They don’t do it for an hour on Sunday.  They do it 24/7 often with lead, not footballs, coming in their direction.

They watch their brothers carted off in pieces not on a gurney to get their knee iced.  They don’t even have ice!  Many don’t have legs or arms.

Some wear blue and risk their lives daily on the streets of America.  They wear fire helmets and go upstairs into the fire rather than down to safety.

On 9-11, hundreds vanished.

They are the heroes.

I hope that your high paid protesting pretty boys and you look in that mirror when you shave tomorrow and see what you really are, legends in your own minds.  You need to hit the road and take those worms with you!

Time to change the channel.

Colonel, I applaud you and salute you and only wish Lethal was here to offer you a hardy Semper Fi!  But I know, he is here in spirit.  And that is why I say, You only STAND for the Anthem.  And the latest thing I heard was that those players who won’t kneel are being chastised.  Can you possibly believe THAT shit.  I am ashamed of you all.

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I hate when people say, “Guess what your Ex is doing.”  Nah Motherfucker, I had to do that while we were together.

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My brother took going to jail really badly.

He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and smeared the walls with his own feces.

After that, we never played Monopoly again.

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I’m still waiting patiently for the wisdom that supposedly comes with old age.
Anyone else?

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I only have one thing to say … where can I get one?

Ex-wife for sale – CHEAP.
Take over payments.

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And if I’m going to be teaching a class tomorrow morning than I’m going to have to get some sleep sometime soon.  So, I have to end this here and for that I’m more sorry than I can say cause there’s so much more that I’d like to get into.

May your weekend have wonderful fun.

Cheers

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1784

  1. Leah D Hanson says:

    So when I posted the Every Problem Has a Solution funny you have on this edition, on Facebook, first, they had a message pop up saying it could be disturbing . . . then, they deleted it.
    Most of the political cartoons have been deleted.
    My friend posted pictures of the July snow at his place . . . no wonder, ’cause those snowflakes are out there in full force!

  2. Stephanie says:

    Love the mask. You can partially expose your Dragon nature behind it.

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