Dragon Laffs #1767


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Good Morning Campers,

We’re going for three in a row!!!!  Woo Hoo!  Thank you guys for all your love and support.  It means so much to me, you have no idea.  As much as you guys get out of reading these ezines, I get out of writing them, but when you write to me and TELL me how much you get out of this, or how much it means to you … well … that just really lights me right up.  You really have no idea. 

blank dragon14

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We’re living in two Stephen King novels right now:   The Dead Zone and The Stand.  If Clowns show up, I’m done.  I’m just friggin’ done.

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My Conspiracy Theory is that time travel IS real and someone keeps trying to fix 2020 by changing something but every time they do, they unwittingly make it worse.  How else do you explain the sudden disappearance of murder hornets?  They saved us from those but at what cost?!?!

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They say that sex is the best form of exercise.  Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but 2 minutes and 15 seconds once every 3 months ain’t going to shift a beer belly.

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Now, did everyone get the sarcasm of the last three pictures?  Or do I have to be even MORE clear!!!!

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No shit! Do you think?  Who’d of guessed that outcome?  I would’ve never seen that coming!  (Is my sincerity bleeding through here or is it just sounding sarcastic?)  OF FUCKING COURSE IT DIDN’T WORK YOU JACK WADS!

Did you know that if you put your ear up to a stranger’s leg you can hear them saying, “What the fuck are you doing?!”

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KIDNAPPER:  Until the ransom is paid, you’ll be locked in this room with only a bed and the occasional tray of food.

ME:  [excitedly]:  OMG meals, sleep, AND silence??

KIDNAPPER: [glares]

ME:  I mean … oh nooooooooo …

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HER:  You wanna go upstairs?

ME:  Sure

HER:  You got protection?

ME:  W-why?  Who’s up there?

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I’m sorry I took my pants off at your gender reveal party.  I thought we were all participating.  My bad.

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College Football

No Matter What (2)

No Matter What

No Need

No objections here

no student

Nooooo

nope

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Nosy Cops

Not what I meant

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Not_on_my_watch

Note to Self

Nothing

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Leah D sends us 2 comments … here’s the first one:

Leah D

I can now go to placed I NEED to go, like the Post Office, and the liquor store, because our Governor FINALLY ordered people to wear masks. Even then, I wait to go in until I am the only one inside. That’s the good news . . . the bad news is
Night after night, we have tried sleeping through the noise of big boom (so very expensive) fireworks. This morning the news is all a rush over a fire started by fireworks, and people being evacuated.
The year of living dangerously . . .

Okay, so I’m a guy and I like shit that blows up probably more so than most since I used to do it for a living, but my poor old doggie does NOT like the fireworks or the thunder that we’ve had lately and she’s driving me NUTS!  So, I understand exactly what you’re saying.  Mrs. Dragon keeps asking what the hell everyone has to be celebrating, but she doesn’t understand the pure joy of blowing shit up just for the joy of blowing shit up.

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I’m not originally a country boy, but I’ve been kinda adopted in … and they are just hoping the looting moves out to the country.  They are getting in between hunting seasons right now and need something to shoot at.

And here’s Leah D’s second comment:

Leah D.

The Houston Association of Realtors (HAR) is dropping the word “master” from bedroom and bathroom listings and replacing it with the word “primary,” according to KPRC.
Several HAR members called for the association to change the way it describes master bedrooms and master bathrooms due to the word “master,” which has been linked to sexism and slavery.
people respond;
why don’t we throw the dictionary out along with the constitution and history …. this is getting ridiculous people
So “Masters Degrees” will be next to go I guess.
What about “master cylinder” or “slave cylinder”?….we gonna fire all the mechanics that work on brake systems?
I guess then we must eliminate master carpenter, master electrician, masterpiece? Where does the stupidity end?
What am I gonna do with my master key
And my favorite: white bread will now be called “privilege loaf”.

We went through this shit a couple of years ago with the whole sexism thing when mailmen became letter carriers and the like.  But the word master?  ROFLMAO!  What in the world is next?  Although I really have to tell you, you really cracked me up with “Privilege Loaf”

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According to the Knight Rider News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the US Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed.

The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated as “Wash. Biol. Surv.”; until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper:

    Dear Sirs:

    While camping last week I shot one of your birds.  I think it was a
   crow.  I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and want to
   tell you it tasted horrible.

The bands are now marked “Fish & Wildlife Service.”

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So … let’s think about this … what is the next logical step to follow behind the dumb ass shit that has been going on?  We’ve had black lives matter riots and looting … so what is the next step?  Come on, this one should be easy.  Who should be the next player up on stage in the dumb ass clown parade?

Yup, the fucking KKK is dropping leaflets all over our local neighborhoods and the old base housing.  That’s all we fucking need.

And I am willing to bet, dollars to donuts, that the same people who are financing the riots from behind the scenes are also the ones who are pushing the KKK … from behind the scenes.

But, of course I have no proof.

And as far as I’m concerned … all of them … both sides … can go to hell and leave me alone.  This is all such bullshit.  Why is it that we just can’t help each other to get through life the best that we can.  Isn’t it hard enough as it is?  Why do we have to make it harder than it has to be?

Love to you all.  Let’s help each other make it through to the other side.  To hell with the rest of them.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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7 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1767

  1. Stephanie says:

    If only people would respect each other and that people would act in a manner deserving respect.

  2. Pingback: Dragon Laffs #1768 | Dragon Laffs

  3. joecaller says:

    Sir Impish,

    I start smiling as soon as I see a new issue
    appear in my inbox. Don’t even have to
    open it to cheer me up. I know it will be a
    great issue and have me chuckling the
    rest of the day. You deserve time off but
    we all miss you!

    …Joe in NJ

  4. Ted Kretzer says:

    Absolutely the best site bar-none. Appreciate it very much!

  5. Bob says:

    I guess there will be no more Master Sgt’s or Master Chiefs in the military.

  6. Bill says:

    Leah omitted one “Master/Slave” relationship. I am thinking of hard drives on a computer. OR, is “Hard Drive” sexist? I’m confused.
    Thanks for all the great entertainment. Keep up the good work.
    Bill G.

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