Dragon Laffs #1735


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Good Morning Gentle Campers,

For those of you who’ve wondered what my camping space looks like … nah, I’m just borrowing this one.  There’s a couple of hippie girls wandering around somewhere that will be back shortly, we’ll be relaxing on this Sunday and getting our chill on.  I “highly” recommend this for the rest of you.  Today is the day to sit back, relax, chill out, and just do your best to unwind.  “…and he rested on the seventh day…” although we arbitrarily decided that this day is the seventh day and is called Sunday and yes, I know I took that quote out of context, the implication being that we have had to work (or toil) to rest from, but we’re wandering WAY outside the box here!! Just chill out today campers and enjoy yourselves!  Sheesh!

Okay, so it’s Sunday.  Do your thing.  Whatever it is that you do to relax.  The whole R&R&R that we discussed last week. (Rest & Relaxation & Recharging) or the I&I that was also suggested (Intoxication & Intercourse) although that last one dates back to the Vietnam War, but you can still use it if you like … and who wouldn’t like? 

So, all this talk of resting, relaxing, hippies, and Vietnam has thrown us into a 1960’s mode, so….
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Marijuana is legal.
Haircuts are not.
It took fifty years, but the hippies have finally won.

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One of the best movie in the whole world for quotes!

A man was told his hair piece would cost 25 dollars …
It was a small price toupee.

3a

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A drunk goes to court.  The judge says, “You’ve been brought here for drinking.”  The drunk says, “Great.  Let’s get started.”

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And we’re watching every fucking move you make, bitch!

My wife is fed up of my constant Dad jokes, so I asked her, “How can I stop my addiction?”

Wife: “Whatever means necessary.”

Me: “No it doesn’t.”

There may have been gunshots heard at that point.

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I organized a threesome last night … there were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time.

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Twelve Rules for Seniors

#1  Talk to yourself.  There are times you need expert advice.
#2  “In Style” are the clothes that still fit.
#3  You don’t need anger management.  You need people to stop pissing you off.
#4  Your people skills are just fine.  It’s your tolerance for idiots that needs a little work.
#5  The biggest lie you tell yourself is, “I don’t need to write that down.  I’ll remember it.”
#6  “On time” is when you get there.
#7  Even duct tape can’t fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound.
#8  It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller.
#9  Lately, you’ve noticed people your age are so much older than you.
#10  Growing old should have taken longer.  (No Shit!!)
#11  Aging has slowed you down, but it hasn’t shut you up.
#12  You still haven’t learned to act your age, and hope you never will.

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Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

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Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.

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In the memo field of all your checks, write, “For Marijuana”

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Lockdown can only go four ways.  You’ll come out a monk, a hunk, a chunk, or a drunk.  Choose Wisely!

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I was offered sex today with a Victoria’s Secret model.  In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner here on Dragon Laffs.  Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards and strong willpower.  Just as strong as Ajax®, the incredibly strong bathroom cleanser.  Nov available in lemon scent and vanilla.

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Her name is sandy

Here Kitty

Here Mom

Here's the deal

Heroes

heroism

herpes

hey dude

Hey Lady

Hey Man

High Beams

High Kick

High School

High speed weight lifting

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That sounds like an awesome plan to me!

I’ve reached that age where my brain goes from “You probably shouldn’t say that” to “What the hell, let’s see what happens.”

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No!  No!  That’s just fucking wrong!  Go boo somebody else!  Do be a hater!

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Aussie Pete, you are just wrong, dude!

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No way!  I’m not ready for that, shit!

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Okay, I’m good!

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And with that, we’ll call this one complete!  Hope you had a nice relaxing day.

Love and happiness to you all.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1735

  1. Bill says:

    Perhaps this quote from George Carlin will help to offend more readers:

    “Being Irish I should resent the Notre Dame nickname, ‘The Fighting Irish.’ After all, how long do you think nicknames like ‘The Bargaining Jews’ or ‘The Murdering Italians’ would last? Only the ironic Irish could be so naively honest.”

    All the best.
    Bill

  2. Leah D says:

    This is a warning: If you must get sick, only get sick with Covid. You can’t get medical help for any other issue.

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