Dragon Laffs #1644


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Good Morning Campers,

So, after the hell last week of working killer shifts all weekend and the exercise and everything else, and Monday I finally got back to my own office and I walked in the door and my office was 55 F degrees!  And the F stands for Friggin’!

The worst part is that I work for Civil Engineering!  The guys that fix the heat for the whole base!  What the hell is up with that!  I mean, really!

And then, on Wednesday, I’m in this new Supervisors class, one day a week, I have an online seminar (a webinar) that lasts an hour and a half.  Now, keep that in mind, as I give you this little tidbit.  I’d be willing to bet, that the United States Air Force is the most technologically advanced military service in the world.  Okay, now back to the story, so I have to sign in to Adobe Connect to view and participate in this webinar.  I have four different ways to do that from my technologically advanced laptop at work.

None of them worked.

Three different web browsers and a program.

None

Of

Them

Worked!!!!!

So I grab my personal iPad, with crappy telephone connection, download an app, and within three minutes I was in the webinar…on my personal iPad….advanced technology my ass!

So with that little update, what do you say we start up the laffs!

Let's Laugh 2

5078

I know a couple of people who could have done this.

I’m not saying Mississippi weather is crazy, but I just watched a mosquito, wearing a sweater, snort a line of pollen off the hood of my car.

5079

I probably know this guy, too.

Last night, my neighbor came home drunk and banged on his own door for like five minutes.  The problem is, he lives alone.

So, I went outside and told him he wasn’t there and he left.

5080

People need to understand the difference between want and need.  For example:

I want ABS,
But I need PIZZA.

5081

Wife: “Don’t just assume that when I’m angry, I’m on my period.  Otherwise, when you’re sleeping, I’ll just “assume” you’re dead and bury you in my backyard.

5082

The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to many people.

coollogo_com-140101225

6

6a

6b

6c

6d

6e

Bread is like the sun…it rises in the yeast and sets in the waist

5083

I was sitting in my truck at Walmart watching this guy who apparently forgot where he parked.  He kept putting his remote in the air and every time he squeezed it … I honked my horn.

6l

Join the 3 days challenge!
”NO ALCOHOL”
Feb 29, 30, & 31

5084

Income tax: the fine you pay for being productive

Welfare: the reward you get for being unproductive

5085

Only Italians understand that, “How you doin’?” is just a greeting, not a question.  Nobody really gives a shit how you’re doing.

5086

Can one survive on Girl Scout Cookies?

(Asking for a friend)

5087

“When you stick it in my mouth, do you want me to look in your eyes?”

“Ma’am, just blow in the breathalyzer, please.”

5088

So, today is Friday, and I was expecting a ton of snow.  The weather people promised me a ton of snow, the weather guy at work promised me a ton of snow, and did I get a ton of snow?

No!

Now I’m hugely disappointed.

You don’t like dragons when they are disappointed.

draak

5089

6m

5090

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile – Then you walk in to a pole.

5091

Daylightsavingstime6

Hey!  Don’t forget Saturday night/Sunday morning it’s time to change your clocks.  At one am, like magic, it suddenly becomes two am.Daylightsavingstime4

daylightsavingstime5

daylightsavingstime7

Okay, that’s all the reminder you’re going to get.

5092

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money.

5093

We have a Booker, a Hooker, and an Indian running for President.  We are one Cowboy short of the Village People.

5094

Dear Diet,
Things just aren’t going to work out between us.  It’s not me, it’s you.  You are tasteless, boring and I can’t stop cheating on you.

5095

Laughing is the best medicine.  But, if you’re laughing for no reason, you may need medicine.

5096

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years-old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little “tea set” as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.  Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of “tea”, which was just water.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy team, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was “just the cutest thing!”

My Mom waited, and sure enough, I walked down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watched him drink it up.

The she says, (as only a mother would know…), “Did it ever occur to you that the only place that your daughter can reach to get water is the toilet?”

5097

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It just wouldn’t be an issue without some of these…

RelaxRelax2

Release the Kraken

Religion

Religion2

Relish

Republicans

Research

Respect

Retired

retiring

Retorical Question

Retreat

Retrievers

Revenge

Revenge2

revenge143

Revolutionaries

Revolving Grenade Launchers

Ribs

5098

And that’s it for today my friends.

Until next week.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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5 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1644

  1. Maggie says:

    Great Issue,,, Big Blue,, keep it coming

  2. Leah D Hanson says:

    Like the Bible says, it’s what in your heart that counts, so I think the picture is accurate!
    Thank you soooooo much for such a great issue!
    I laughed so hard. I think the most so, at the doctor or archaeologist ‘toon.
    I thought about keeping it and making a birthday card with it . . . but had to send it on to everyone!

  3. Chris says:

    Great issue as always. But I have to call bullshit on the picture of the Democratic women. The Isis flag and other background items are photo-shopped in.

  4. Ginny says:

    All snickers and grins throughout. Nice job Impish!

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