I don’t feel much like laughing this week. In fact, I find myself in tears with little or no warning far more often than I’d like. My heart aches and my soul hurts.
It doesn’t help that I’ve been deeply sick with the flu since Wednesday of last week. I went to work Monday and Tuesday of this week, but was so miserable and afraid of getting everyone else sick that today, Wednesday, I stayed home.
And while I’m sitting here, I get a message that my father, Papa Dragon Most Senior, had a heart-attack last night. And before anyone gets too upset, it seems as though he will be just fine. (Update on Friday: Dad had a heart cath on Thursday morning and had not quite emergency surgery on Thursday night. He needed triple bypass surgery last night but as of this morning is doing quite well.)
But, come on! I’ve had enough! I know I said that 2019 was going to be our best year yet, but did the world have to take a huge dump on me SO quickly?
But, I remember Dragon Laffs motto: Fighting the World’s Bull-shit, One Laff At A Time, and I realize that it’s not just the motto for the website, it’s something that I try to live by every day of my life.
And I start remembering the fun times we’ve had. There weren’t that many, to be brutally honest, but there were some and those are the things I need to cling to. Those are the memories I need to, and DO, cherish.
She has been fighting demons of her own making for many, many years, and now that fight is over. Now she can rest.
Many of you have sent so many wonderful messages to me and my family and for that I am unspeakably grateful. I can feel your love and support even now.
I do want to share a comment from my brother Lethal, that made me cry when I read it and now again as I’m putting it here, but it is so appropriate, I want to share with you all in case you didn’t read it in the comments:
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die. – Mary Elizabeth Frye – 1932
Eternal rest, grant unto her O Lord
and let perpetual light shine upon her.
May she rest in peace. Amen.
May her soul and the souls of all the faithful departed,
through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
Thank you my brother, I know that Mary answered you as she did most, if not all, the rest of you, she has been my strength this last week.
I will be saying good bye to my daughter on Wednesday, 23 January, she would have not quite reached her 41st birthday.
Thank you all for all your love and support, and thank you for allowing me to share my emotions here with you. I will (hopefully) be back next week with more laffs, but for now, I’ll enjoy the love and warmth of you while I remember the happy times with her.
Valarie, you are loved and you will be missed.