Leprechaun Laughs #137 for 04/18/2012


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Isn’t It Ironic?

The food stamp program, part of the Department of Agriculture, is pleased to be distributing the greatest amount of food stamps ever.

Meanwhile, the Park Service, also part of the Department of Agriculture, asks us to “please do not feed the animals” because the animals may grow dependent and not learn to take care of themselves.

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 Celtic Consumer Warnings

Well THAT ought to catch a few eye eh? 

DID YOU KNOW HALLMARK CARDS WERE MADE IN CHINA !

I buy my cards at Dollar Tree – 50 cents each and made in USA.

I have been looking at the blenders available on the Internet. Kitchen Aid is MADE IN the US. Top of my list already…
Yesterday I was in Wal Mart looking for a wastebasket.  I found some made in China for $6.99. I didn’t want to pay that much so I asked the lady if they had any others. She took me to another department and they had some at 2.50 made in USA . They are just as good.

Same for a kitchen rug I needed. I had to look, but I found some made in the USA – what a concept! – and they were 3.00 cheaper.

We are being brainwashed to believe that everything that comes from China and Mexico is cheaper.

Not so!
I was in Lowe’s the other day and just out of curiosity, I looked at the hose attachments. They were all made in China . The next day I was in Ace Hardware and just for the heck of it I checked the hose attachments there. They were made in USA .

Start looking, people . . …In our current economic situation, every little thing we buy or do affects someone else – most often, their job!

Hershey’s candy is now marked “made in Mexico .” I don’t buy it anymore.

My favorite toothpaste Colgate is made in Mexico … now I have switched to Crest. You have to read the labels on everything.

This past weekend I was at Kroger . . . I needed 60W light bulbs and Bounce dryer sheets.
I was in the light bulb aisle, and right next to the GE brand I normally buy — was an off-brand labeled, “Everyday Value.” I picked up both types of bulbs and compared them: they were the same except for the price . . .the GE bulbs cost more than the Everyday Value brand, but the thing that surprised me the most was that the GE was made in MEXICO and the Everyday Value brand was made in – you guessed it – in the USA at a company in Cleveland, Ohio .

It’s Way past time to start finding and buying products you use every day that are made right here.

So, on to the next aisle: Bounce Dryer Sheets… yep, you guessed it, Bounce cost more money and is made in Canada . The Everyday Value brand cost less, and was MADE IN THE USA! I did laundry yesterday and the dryer sheets performed just like the Bounce Free I have been using for years, at almost half the price .

My challenge to you is to start reading the labels when you shop for everyday things and see what you can find that is made in the USA – the job you save may be your own or your neighbors!


If you accept the challenge, pass this on to others in your address book so we can all start buying American, one light bulb at a time!

Stop buying from overseas companies – you’re just helping to send the jobs there!

(We should have awakened a decade ago…. I hate to say it but the unions DID try and warn us about just this sort of thing and got nothing but grief for it)


Let’s get with the program and help our fellow Americans keep their jobs and create more jobs here in the USA.
I passed this on … will you?

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Been a while since Impish felt the thump…thumpty-thump of that mysterious maniacal bus driver running him down and he’s gotten a wee bit flippant with me o’ late. That’s just about the time it to appears happen too. Before he left on his 2nd trip in a month leaving me minding the Fort again I warned him that the advance team had sighting of a couple suspicious vehicles but he wouldn’t take me seriously

After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a colonoscopy in Indiana, Impish decided to have his next one carried out while visiting friends in San Francisco, where the beautiful nurses are allegedly much more gentle and accommodating.

As he lay naked on his side on the table, the gorgeous nurse began the procedure.
“Don’t worry, at this stage of the procedure it’s quite normal to get an erection,” the nurse told him.

“I haven’t got an erection,” Impish replied.

“No, but I sure have,” replied the nurse.

That’s why I tried telling Impish, “Don’t get a colonoscopy in San Francisco!”

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Impish recently picked a new primary care veterinarian. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said Impish was doing ‘fairly well’ for someone his age. (He just turned 53.)

A little concerned about that comment, Impish couldn’t resist asking him, ‘Do you think I’ll live to be 80?’

He asked, ‘Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?’ ‘Oh no,’ impish replied. ‘I’m not doing drugs, either!’ Then he asked, ‘Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs? ‘I said, ‘Not much… my former vet said that all red meat is very unhealthy!’ ‘Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?’ ‘No, I don’t,’ Impish said. He asked, ‘Do you gamble, or have a lot of sex?’ ‘No,’ Impish said. He looked at Impish and said… ‘Then, why do you even give a damn?

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Damn! Those tire tracks up his back look bad! Did you see that guy back up over poor Impish and then hit him a second time as he tried to get up? I’m not even sure AFLAC is going to help much with those tire marks!  Wonder if they’ll ever catch that mad man driving that bus?

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NIN, Rage, and Sesame Street Dispute Gitmo Use of Their Songs for Torture

Modern rock radio serves a very specific function at Guantanamo Bay Naval Camp and prison camp: Musical Torture. Actually, Nine Inch Nails, Pantera, Rage Against the Machine, and Drowing Pool are not the only styles used to wear down inmates at Gitmo; Sesame Street songs and Eminem are “worked on people…day and night… Plenty lost their minds,” said former inmate, Binyam Mohammed.

AP reports former prisoners are no longer the only people protesting the use of loud music for intimidation and possibly torture at the camp; the bands are hearing accounts of their music being used to inflict pain and are speaking out.

Songwriter for Sesame Street, Christopher Cerf, was “horrified” at the news his songs were being used in this manner. He told AP, “I wouldn’t want my music to be a party to that.”

Bob Singleton wrote Barney’s popular children’s song “I Love You” and commented on the reported use of musical repetition for torture: “It’s absolutely ludicrous,” he wrote to the LA Times. “A song that was designed to make little children feel safe and loved was somehow going to threaten the mental state of adults and drive them to the emotional breaking point?” [Obvious he’s never heard it play 47 consecutive times by a group of sugar hyped 5 year old bent on singing along to it!]

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6 Songs Used to Torture & Intimidate

Personally if you ask me, if that want auditory torture that will break down any terrorist they should just pipe in a looped tape of Impish in his private Executive Lil Dragons room. His shower revue of Gilbert & Sullivan tunes would be more effective than 24 hours of nails on black boards. As if that wasn’t bad enough, when he moves on to his other ablutions he covers Weird Al songs! However apparently the military is too afraid of what charges would be levied against them and those tapes are only used by the CIA abroad in those black prisons that do not exist officially…just like singing Dragons.

by Danny Gallagher – June 25, 2009 – 12:48 PM

Playing an annoying song over and over to get someone to spill their guts might sound like a gag from a Mel Brooks movie, but it’s actually become a standard practice. An article by an NYU musicologist in the Journal of the Society for American Music details how music was regularly used in interrogations on bases in Iraq and Afghanistan as a method of inducing disorientation to get suspects to talk without inflicting physical force. Here are some of the songs used by military and law enforcement entities to get their suspects to sing.

1. Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA”

springsteenIt should stand as no surprise that a large majority of the songs used in Guantanamo Bay consisted of seemingly patriotic ditties like Springsteen’s most famous American anthem. One Spanish citizen accused of being linked to the terrorist network Al-Qaida claimed his interrogators played this song the majority of the time during his entire two year stay in the Cuban prison. However, Clive Stafford Smith, the legal director of the UK human rights charity Reprieve, noted that it may not have been the most patriotic choice since “the message of the song is harshly critical of American policy, condemning the war in Vietnam and describing a veteran’s efforts to find work.”

2. Christina Aguilera’s “Dirrty”

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Mohammed al Qahtani, the man many believe was the “20th hijacker” of the Sept. 11 attacks, got one of two wake-up calls during his stay in Guantanamo Bay: dripping water on his head or an earful of Aguilera’s sexually charged lyrics. This was combined with other interrogation techniques, such as prolonged strip searches and invasion of space by a female. He would admit he met with bin Laden, but later deny this admission. Days later, many of these interrogation methods were halted after military lawyers raised questions about their efficacy.

3. Nancy Sinatra’s “These Boots Were Made for Walking”

bootsOne of history’s most tragic standoffs also featured one of history’s most famous musical standoffs. Cult leader David Koresh’s battle with the FBI in 1993 featured a back and forth barrage of ballad bombardments. Koresh wore down his followers by blasting his own failed pop songs at eardrum-busting levels. When the FBI moved in and cut the power to the compound, they fired back with Nancy Sinatra’s depressing girl power pop ballad along with a monotonous mix of Tibetan chants, cavalry bugle beats and 1950s-style Christmas carols for nearly seven weeks straight. FBI officials said they rejected the idea of using Billy Ray Cyrus’ “Achy Breaky Heart” because of fears that some of the cult members might actually like it.

4. AC/DC’s “Shoot to Thrill” and “Hells Bells”

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Heavy metal songs have long been a favorite tool of military interrogators. They’re loud, often repetitive and (as any parent with steadily reduced hearing can attest) can even create feelings of physical pain or discomfort to the ears and head. Troops used “long range acoustic devices” to blast the Australian metal group’s ballads throughout the region to increase the vulnerability of Iraqi insurgents. The LRADs, developed by the American Technology Corporation, have also been used to repel pirate attacks in Somalia and throw sound at bystanders at stores and conventions for product displays.

5. Anything by Barry Manilow

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The work of the world’s most famous lounge lizard might be Jack Bauer’s first choice of music in an interrogation room. Actually, the military didn’t use Manilow’s music to get their suspects to sing. The New Zealand town of Christchurch recently blasted the crooner’s tunes throughout their central mall district to drive away the local punks who had been littering the area with graffiti, drinking in public and doing drugs. It sounds like a perfect plan because after all, he may write the songs that make the whole world sing, but they also make young kids’ heads explode.

6. Barney the Dinosaur’s “I Love You”

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The Guardian newspaper in London called this sugary lump of fear inducing madness the most “overused” song in the U.S. interrogator’s arsenal. Interrogators at Guantanamo Bay, however, used the sappy kids’ show theme song as “futility music” to convince detainees of the futility of maintaining their silence. One United Kingdom human rights group protested President George W. Bush’s visit to England by blasting the song in his general direction. Now that’s a second strike.

I’m pretty sure those whiney pansies at NATO will find those last too are grounds for Human Rights violation charges when they find out about it. We can of course counter with charges of our own that the30 year old Muzak they play in their interminably slow elevators is forced torture under unlawful restraint.

 

!cid_X_MA1_1331869784@aol

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Chicken Divan

Once the signature dish of a New York restaurant, the Divan Parisienne, Chicken Divan became a party favorite. Here, its richer elements are streamlined, without sacrificing taste.

image Serves: 6

Ingredients

    1 1/2 pound(s) boneless, skinless chicken breast
    1 tablespoon(s) extra-virgin olive oil
    2 cup(s) diced leek (about 1 large)
    1/2 teaspoon(s) salt
    5 tablespoon(s) all-purpose flour
    1 cup(s) reduced-sodium chicken broth
    1 cup(s) 1% milk
    2 tablespoon(s) dry sherry
    1/2 teaspoon(s) dried thyme
    1/2 teaspoon(s) freshly ground pepper
    2 cup(s) frozen chopped broccoli (or 1 pound fresh broccoli crowns)
    1 cup(s) grated Parmesan cheese
    1/4 cup(s) reduced-fat mayonnaise
    2 teaspoon(s) Dijon mustard

Directions

    Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Coat a 7-by-11-inch (2 quart) glass baking dish with cooking spray.
   Place chicken in a medium skillet or saucepan and add lightly salted water to cover. Bring to a simmer over high heat. Cover, reduce heat to low and simmer gently until the chicken is cooked through and no longer pink in the center, 10 to 12 minutes. Drain and slice into bite-size pieces.
    Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add leek and salt and cook, stirring often, until softened but not browned, 3 to 4 minutes. Add flour; stir to coat. Add broth, milk, sherry, thyme and pepper and bring to a simmer, stirring constantly. Add broccoli; return to a simmer. Remove from heat and stir in 1/2 cup Parmesan, mayonnaise and mustard.
    Spread half the broccoli mixture in the prepared baking dish. Top with the chicken, then the remaining broccoli mixture. Sprinkle evenly with the remaining 1/2 cup Parmesan. Bake until bubbling, 20 to 25 minutes. Let cool for 10 minutes before serving

Nutritional Information

(per serving)
Calories    312
Total Fat    11g
Saturated Fat    4g
Cholesterol    76mg
Sodium    652mg
Total Carbohydrate    19g
Dietary Fiber    –
Sugars    –
Protein    35g
Calcium    0

 div205

Quick Chicken Cordon Bleu

To make traditional cordon bleu, you layer prosciutto (or other ham) and cheese in between thin slices of chicken or veal, then bread and sauté the whole stack. This quick, easy version keeps the flavors the same, but skips the fussy layering and breading steps. Serve with delicata squash and broccoli.

image Yields: 4 servings  Total Time: 35 min  Prep Time: 35 min

Ingredients

    4  (1 1/4-1 1/2 pounds) boneless, skinless chicken breasts, trimmed and tenders removed (see Tips & Techniques)
    1/2 teaspoon(s) freshly ground pepper, divided
    1/4 teaspoon(s) salt
    1/3 cup(s) shredded Gruyère or Swiss cheese
    2 tablespoon(s) reduced-fat cream cheese
    1/4 cup(s) coarse dry whole-wheat breadcrumbs (see Tips & Techniques)
    1 tablespoon(s) chopped fresh parsley or thyme
    4 teaspoon(s) extra-virgin olive oil, divided
    1/4 cup(s) (about 1 ounce) chopped ham

Directions

    Preheat oven to 400°F.
    Sprinkle chicken with 1/4 teaspoon pepper and salt. Combine cheese and cream cheese in a bowl. Combine the remaining 1/4 teaspoon pepper with breadcrumbs, parsley (or thyme), and 2 teaspoons oil in another bowl.
    Heat the remaining 2 teaspoons oil in a large, ovenproof nonstick skillet over medium heat. Cook the chicken until browned on both sides, about 2 minutes per side. Move the chicken to the center so all pieces are touching. Spread with the cheese mixture, sprinkle with ham, then top with the breadcrumb mixture.
    Bake until the chicken is no longer pink in the center and an instant-read thermometer registers 165°F, 5 to 7 minutes.

    Carb Servings: 4 1/2 lean meat, 1 fat. Carbohydrate Servings: 0

Tips & Techniques

It can be difficult to find small chicken breasts. Remove the strip of meat from the underside of a 5- to 6-ounce breast — the “tender,” about 1 ounce of meat — to yield a perfect individual portion. Freeze the tenders and use them in a stir-fry.

Nutritional Information

(per serving)
Calories    275
Total Fat    13g
Saturated Fat    4g
Cholesterol    97mg
Sodium    327mg
Total Carbohydrate    4g
Dietary Fiber    1g
Sugars    –
Protein    34g
Calcium    —

div205

 

Steak Burritos for Two

Here’s a burrito inspired by San Francisco’s super burritos that come packed with meat, beans, rice, guacamole, and salsa. We’ve kept this home-style version for two a bit simpler to make and a whole lot healthier with brown rice, whole-wheat tortillas, and a more reasonable serving size. We recommend wrapping it in foil — the traditional way to serve it — so you can pick the burrito up and eat it without it falling apart, peeling back the foil as you go. Serve with a cold beer and vinegar-dressed slaw.

image Serves: 4   Yields: 4 servings   Total Time: 30 min  Prep Time: 30 min

Ingredients

    1/4 cup(s) prepared fresh salsa
    1/4 cup(s) water
    2 tablespoon(s) instant brown rice (Uncle Ben’s is about the best I’ve found so far)
    3/4 cup(s) canned black beans, preferably low-sodium, rinsed (I don’t like black beans so I use Pintos)
    6 ounce(s) strip steak, trimmed and thinly sliced crosswise
    1/8 teaspoon(s) freshly ground pepper
    1 1/2 teaspoon(s) canola oil
    2  8-inch tortillas, preferably whole-wheat
    1/4 cup(s) shredded sharp Cheddar cheese
    2 tablespoon(s) prepared guacamole
    1 tablespoon(s) coarsely chopped fresh cilantro

Directions

    Combine salsa and water in a small saucepan; bring to a boil. Stir in rice, reduce heat to a simmer, cover, and cook for 5 minutes. Stir in beans, return to a simmer, and cook, uncovered, stirring occasionally, until the rice is tender and most of the liquid is absorbed, about 5 minutes more.
    Meanwhile, sprinkle steak with pepper. Heat oil in a medium skillet over medium-high heat. Add steak and cook, stirring occasionally, until browned and cooked through, 3 to 5 minutes.
    To assemble, divide the steak among the tortillas and top with equal amounts of cheese, guacamole, cilantro, and the rice mixture. Roll each tortilla up into a burrito.

    Exchanges: 3 1/2 starch, 4 lean meat, 1 fat Carbohydrate Servings: 3 Nutrition Bonus: Zinc (29% daily value), Folate (27% dv), Calcium & Iron (23% dv), Magnesium (19% dv).

Nutritional Information

(per serving)
Calories    471
Total Fat    16g
Saturated Fat    6g
Cholesterol    63mg
Sodium    600mg
Total Carbohydrate    49g
Dietary Fiber    7g
Sugars    –
Protein    31g
Calcium    —

div205

Smothered Burritos

This is a simple recipe turns frozen bean-and-cheese burritos into a show stopping meal by topping them with a meaty enchilada sauce and plenty of cheese.! It’s semi-homemade so it’s fast, its fairly cheap and it feeds a family of five.

image Serves: 5 as dinner 10 as game munchies   Yields: 10

Ingredients

    1 pound(s) Hamburger
    1/4 cup(s) onion and green pepper
    1 bag(s) of 10 frozen bean & cheese burrito’s
    1 can(s) 10 oz mild red enchilada sauce ( I use a 16oz Jar of picante or chunky slasa and spin it in blender)
    2 cup(s) shredded cheddar cheese
    sour cream
    salsa
    lettuce
    tomato
    1 package(s) taco seasoning

Directions

    Pre-heat oven to 350. Brown hamburger with onions and green pepper. Add taco seasoning packet and follow instructions on packet, let simmer on low heat. Add enchilada sauce and simmer on low. Meanwhile, place frozen burrito’s in glass baking dish. Pour enchilada sauce over burrito’s and sprinkle with cheddar cheese. Cover and bake for 45 minutes. Serve with lettuce, tomato, sour cream and salsa. Enjoy!

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!cid_ii_136b6f4150fb552e  

NO WONDER Babies cry all the time that thought depresses me to tears too!

Reilly is walking through a graveyard when he comes across a headstone with the inscription “Here lies a politician and an honest man.”
‘Faith now,’ exclaims Reilly, ‘I wonder how they got the two of them in one grave.

Bloody Occupiers! Have they no decency,  shame or even respect for the dead??

 Weird Weather

 

Major Hail Storm in TX Panhandle – RAW FOOTAGE

Talk about hail! Mounds of hail, piling 2-4 feet were seen near the Potter/Moore County line in the Texas Panhandle
Video courtesy Storm Search 7 Storm Chaser Doug Black
Read more:
http://www.connectamarillo.com/news/story.aspx?id=740934

 

That moving brown/tan stuff is not water, sand or mud you’re seeing, it’s HAIL!

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Speakin’ o Our Dragon in Absentia…..

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Monday 4.16.2012 His nibs lazy back side has been heard from. Seems he had to be at the airport at the crack of dawn (literally) to appease the morons… I MEAN MINIONS o’ DHS known as the TSA Sceeeners. I had sent them a notice that Impish had not had a colonoscopy done in his home state recently but alas he reported no problems with security and no soul searing sound of the snap of rubber gloves being donned. He DOES claim the is now legally entitled to wear one of those t-shirts proudly proclaiming:

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He sent me a photo of his plane as he was impatiently waiting of board it, seems that ran the clock down to the 10 minute mark before that happened (but he managed to make his D.C. connection on time anyway)

His Nibs Transport_thumb[1]

well sight of the picture caused me to respond to him:

Up into the air Impish Dragon,
Up into the air way up high
Flying Sardined into Economy Commercial on the lowest bidder
See what happens when you don’t save your box tops?

BTW is that a puddle of hydraulic fluid having leaked out of the left engine I see?

His response once he boarded contained things that were untrue, unkind and in one instance involved an act that is illegal to attempt in Texas with a fried pastry!

Little did I know at the time just how spot on my “sardined in” comment was! (See below)

On Board with His Nibs NO WONDER he was rude and cranky about it! Sardines indeed!

ANYWAY… he made his connecting flight in Washington without issue, abet having to waddle at a swift enough pace for his gate to concern me he might set off some seismic vibration detectors there at the airport. Initially I was impressed by this dual feat. I subsequently remembered I had arranged help for his making it between terminals:

His Nibs Dules Charriot 1

These little trams that look like some battle wagon from a Mad Max Movie took us from one terminal to another at Dulles in Washington- Impish (Gee, come to think of it, that looks like it would hurt if it accidentally ran a dragon over! Humm..)

For those of you that cannot read what’s on the side of the tram it says:
“Leprechaun Limousine Ltd Dragons & Wide Loads Transporter”
They were supposed to mask that over so Impish never saw it but it worked out ok anyway

Fortunately again Impish lucked out and subsequently arrived in Harrisburg Pa ahead of schedule ( I suspect his time in the loo in flight gave them a bit of a tail wind) and they had to wait for their gate to be cleared of its last flight before disembarking.

Last I heard from him (now on his phone which interestingly enough seemed to be fading in and out and unusually staticy) he was driving through Gettysburg over misty roads in a drizzling rain under heavy overcast. He was rather glum about this since it makes seeing any of the historic sites from a car just a bit hard. So, ever knowledgeable and helpful leprechaun & friend that I am, I suggested he might want to be sure to drive about the Wheatfield and Peach Orchard to the northwest of the battle site. There is a rather large easy to see monument over there commemorating the men of the Irish Brigade who fought and died there.

What I DIDN’T tell Impish was as soon as I had hung up with him I placed a call to and old family friend I’ll call Siobhan (primarily because that’s what she allows me to call her) who is sort of a Bandraoi o Duine nan Sean Ciall – the closest to a literal translation would be “Priestess of the People of the Old Way” . Think of her as the Irish/Druidic equivalent of Glenda the Good but with a far different mojo bag. I respectfully requested that she contact the spirits and see if any of the Brigade spirits there in the area would deign to give greeting to Impish, a fellow Comrade in Arms and spouse of a true Daughter of Erin in some form that would make his trip memorable for him.

Being from “the Light side of the Force” she could only make contact and the request if the spirits were willing as forcing and compelling ones will on another is considered “of the Dark side”. Now all we can do is sit back, wait and hope she has luck and someone’s 149 year old ghost is in a favorable or mischievous mood.

I’ll update this tomorrow evening before uploading for Wednesday morning if I hear any significant news (or get any panic phone calls from an excited Dragon gibbering about ghosts)

Tuesday 04.17.2012  Impish sent me some photos apparently taken outside the facility where his conference is taking place last night. However due to my being one of the lucky 2% that had gMail issues for 1/2 the day those will have to wait for Saturday as he didn’t bother with any captions explaining what the photos are of for which he has been duly chastised. A field reporter he isn’t.

He did mention he had a bit of an unsettling experience Monday night. Having some time he decided to avail himself of the heated indoor pool at his hotel. Apparently however the lifeguard on duty caused him some concern so he curtailed his swim earlier than planned. Shown here is the picture Impish sent me of the lifeguard:

image  Impish said he began growing concerned when the lifeguard said his name was Queequag and that his lifeguard’s pole needed sharpening as “the Blue Sea Monster’s hide” appeared quite thick. Personally I think Impish just got a hold of some badly out of date complimentary snacks in flight and was “reality challenged” at the time, but still… he was right, better safe than sorry, he’d already been run over once that day.

 

!cid_X_MA9_1333222491@aol

From “Thomas Cook Holidays” – listing some of the guest’s complaints during the season.

[ Remember these are Brits on holiday. Thankfully we are apparently not the only Nationality of Rude Ignorant Tourists!]

1. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger
nuts.”

2. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time – this should be
banned

3. “On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at
all.”

4. “We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels.”

5. A tourist at a top African game lodge over looking a water hole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel “inadequate”.

6. A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she’d been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb” sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

7. “The beach was too sandy.”

8. “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white.”

9. A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the
time.

10. “Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.”

11. “We bought’ Ray-Ban’ sunglasses for five Euros from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.”

12. “No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.”

13. “There was no egg slicer in the apartment…”

14. “We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish…”

15. “The roads were uneven.

16. “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home.”

17. “I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends’ three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller.”

18. “The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the accommodation. We are trainee hairdressers – will we be OK staying there?”

19. “There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners now live abroad.”

20. “We had to queue outside with no air conditioning.”

21. “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”

22. “I was bitten by a mosquito – no-one said they could bite.”

23. “My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”

24. “I went to the USA recently and was disappointed to find that the country is full of foreigners.” (Boy! Ain’t that the truth!)

They walk among us . . . and they breed!

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Things that end in “TOR”

A teacher asked her third grade class to name things that ended with “tor” that ate things.
The first little boy said, “Alligator.”
“Very good James, that’s a big word.”
The second boy said, “Predator.”
“Yes, that’s another big word Alan. Very well done.”
Little Johnny says, “Vibrator.”
After nearly falling off her chair, she says, “That is a big word Johnny, but it doesn’t eat anything.”
“Well my mother has one and she says it eats batteries like there’s no tomorrow!”

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They built the ship Titanic to sail the ocean blue.
They thought they had a ship the water would never go through.
It was on the maiden trip when an iceberg hit that ship.
It was sad when the great ship went down.

(CHORUS):

It was sad. -so sad.
It was sad. -too bad.
It was sad when the great ship went down -to the bottom of the–
Husbands and wives; little children lost their lives.
It was sad when the great ship went down. -where’s Dad?

They sailed out from England and were not to far from shore
When the rich refused to mingle with the poor.
So they put them down below where they’d be first to go.
It was sad when the great ship went down.

(CHORUS)

That ship was full of trouble and the sides about to burst,
When somebody shouted: “Women and children first!”
It was a night none would forget, even millionaires got wet!
It was sad when the great ship went down.

(CHORUS)

They swung the life boats out over the deep and icy sea,
When the band struck up with: “Nearer My God to Thee.”
Men and children cried as water swept over the side.
It was sad when the great ship went down.

(CHORUS)

The moral of the story, as you can plainly see,
Is: have a life preserver when you go out to sea.
Mother Nature’s hand made sure that ship would never land.
It was sad when the great ship went down.

(CHORUS)

Ok enough humor and nostalgia, time to give the subject the solemnity and importance that its due. I know if 89 years from now someone makes jokes about September 11th I’ll be rising out o’ me grave for what will likely be seen as the Zombie Apocalypse 10 and wrecking bloody hell.

ABOARD MS BALMORAL — Cruise ship passengers and crew said prayers Sunday at the spot in the North Atlantic where the Titanic sank 100 years ago with the loss of more than 1,500 lives. Passengers lined the decks of MS Balmoral, which has been retracing the route of the doomed voyage. After a moment of silence, three floral wreaths were cast onto the waves as the ship’s whistle sounded in the dark.

April 15, 2012, marks the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the RMS Titanic. Here are 10 things you may not know about the luxury ship, which sank on its maiden voyage from Southampton England to the United States.

* On the evening of April 14, the first-class passengers on the Titanic enjoyed a ten-course meal that included oysters, poached salmon, sirloin of beef, lamb with mint sauce, chocolate éclairs and waldorf pudding. According to Armchair World, a different wine was served with each course, and coffee and cigars accompanied by port and distilled spirits were available with the last course.

[Photos: Exclusive new images of the Titanic]

* The Titanic had its own newspaper. According to the Natural Science Center of Greensboro, The Atlantic Daily Bulletin was printed daily and included news articles, the latest stock prices, horse-racing results, society gossip and a daily menu.

* The massive ship had some unheard of amenities. A Discovery Channel article details perks such as an onboard Turkish bath, libraries, a squash court and a heated swimming pool. The luxury liner even had an infirmary with an operating room.

* While the Titanic boasted some of the wealthiest people in the world on board, two famous men of that era didn’t make the trip. According to Discovery.com, financier J. P. Morgan and famed chocolatier Milton S. Hershey had planned to sail aboard the ship’s maiden voyage but canceled at the last minute.

[Photos: Museum sheds new light on 'Unsinkable Molly Brown']

* Less than a month after the tragedy, silent film actress and Titanic survivor Dorothy Gibson starred in the film “Saved From the Titanic.” According to Stageclick, the actress reenacted her personal story of the tragedy, complete with the actual white silk evening dress she wore on that fateful night. The film was a hit in America and England, but the only known prints were destroyed two years later in a fire.

* Many artifacts from the Titanic were salvaged. The Titanic Museum in Massachusetts houses The Titanic Historical Society’s collection, which includes a lifejacket, lifeboat flag, luncheon and dinner menus, a square of first-class stateroom carpet, letters and postcards written on board, first class china and a bridge bell.

* According to UK’s Mirror, a violin alleged to have belonged to Titanic bandleader Wallace Harley was recently discovered. While tests are being done to prove its authenticity, if sold it would break the record for a Titanic artifact, post office keys that were sold in England for £101,000 in 2007.

* The former home of one of the most famous Titanic survivors is now a museum in Denver. The 1910 home of socialite Margaret Brown – known after the tragedy as “The Unsinkable Molly Brown,” is open for tours and workshops.

[Photos: Titanic orphans, a tale of survival]

* The last remaining survivor of the Titanic died in 2009. Millvana Dean was only nine weeks old and the youngest passenger on the ship when she was put on a lifeboat and saved. According to The Guardian, her death at age 97 came just a month after “Titanic” stars Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet helped pay her nursing home expenses.

* Many sources have pegged the band’s final song as “Nearer My God To Me.” But in a 1912 interview with The New York Times, surviving crew member Harold Bride said the band played the hymn “Autumn” as the ship went down.

Burial of the Dead at Sea.

UNTO Almighty God we commend the souls of our brothers & sisters departed, and we commit their bodies unto the deep; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection unto eternal life, through our Lord; at whose coming in glorious majesty to judge the world, the sea shall give up her dead; in the life of the world to come.

image

 image

Two Leprechauns have just won £500,000  in the Irish lottery and they are now having a pint in O’Malley’s bar.

Timothy turns to say to Seamus and says, ‘What about all them begging letters?’

Seamus replies, ‘Oh, we’ll just carry on sending them.’

Lep Movie Sage words

Read quietly then send it on its journey

To realize
The value of a sister/brother
Ask someone who doesn’t have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one second:
Ask a person who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.

To realize

the value of a friend or family member:


LOSE ONE.

The origin of this letter is unknown, but it brings wisdom and perspective to everyone who passes it on.

Remember….


Hold on tight to the ones you love!

Do not keep these thoughts to yourself.
Rather, share them friends & family to whom you wish good fortune! I just did…

image

Maggie O’Malley was off to Dublin to do her shopping.  ‘Be careful,’ said Mary McGee. Those Dublin stores charge far more than you’d pay here in Sligo. They always double the price. So when you get there only offer them half.’

‘I will,’ said Maggie, and indeed she did.
‘The green dress in the window,’ she said. ‘It’s priced at £40. That’s much too dear!’
‘Madam,’ said the salesman, ‘believe me it is a very reasonable price.’

‘Don’t give me that,’ said Maggie. ‘I know your kind, you’re all robbers of the worst kind – I’ll give you £20 for the dress.’
‘Look, Madam,’ said the salesman. ‘I don’t want a scene. If you calm down, I’ll let you have the dress for £20.’

‘In that case,’ bellowed Maggie to a gathering crowd, ‘I’ll give you £10 for it.’
‘Madam, please,’ begged the salesman, ‘I don’t want to sully our reputation. If it’ll make you go away you can have it for £10.’

‘In that case I’ll give you £5,’ said Maggie.
‘Madam, you’re driving me nuts. To get rid of you, please take the dress for nothing.’

‘In that case,’ said Maggie, ‘I want two!’

image

 

image

This would practically be hysterically funny if it were not such a serious subject and certain parties not so blatantly lying to further their own re-election chance or lying at the behest of those parties. in an attempt to delude the public.

Justice Dept says evidence of bias in Voter ID law

CHRIS TOMLINSON, Associated Press Updated 02:58 p.m., Wednesday, April 11, 2012
http://www.chron.com/news/article/Justice-Dept-says-evidence-of-bias-in-Voter-ID-law-3475062.php

AUSTIN – The U.S. Justice Department says there is substantial evidence that Texas’ Voter ID law will discriminate against minorities.

In court papers filed Wednesday, the department was explaining why Texas lawmakers should turn over their papers and communication regarding the law. Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott has argued that lawmakers should not have to reveal their internal deliberations.

But the Justice Department says no such privilege exists and that the evidence presented so far shows that 600,000 people will be unable to vote if the law is enforced. The department added that minorities would be impacted the  most.

Currently Texas law requires that a voter present a registration card or a photo identification card to vote. The law would require everyone to present an official photo ID card.

Ok I have several of my past voter ID cards. The thing they resemble most in my mind is a W-2 or one of those Change of Address cards. They come in the mail to your last known address roughly 6 weeks before elections. The first year after we moved here we received not less that 4 voter registrations cards for people who no longer lived here. It would have been a simple matter to pay a couple homeless guys or illegals to take the cards and vote as I directed with them.

Why it it evidence of bias in the Voter Law? Well specifically here in Texas because it dovetails with something else Obama has attempted to stop from happening:

!cid_82B03C7280AC4758B2F5AEE99DF3E719@D8M6P981The salient point to the whole issue is right down here in the right hand corner in case anyone missed it. 

Eric Holder Victim of Voter Fraud? Gee…Only If One of Those “Racist” Voter ID Laws Had Been Instituted Then It Would Have Prevented Voter Fraud Against A Black Man!  US Attorney General Eric Holder’s Ballot to Vote Offered to Total Stranger

O’Keefe Requests Holder’s Ballot

A volunteer for conservative activist James O’Keefe requested the ballot of Attorney General Eric Holder for the April 3 primary in D.C., filming the stunt on hidden camera to release on Breitbart.Com. In the video published by O’Keefe, the volunteer suggests to a poll worker that he provide an ID for himself. Following D.C. law, the worker tells him, “You don’t need it. It’s all right. As long as you’re in here, you’re on our list, and that’s who you say you are, you’re OK.”

 
Comments which others made that I am forced to agree with whole heartedly and show because not having e-mail from Google for 1/2 a day put me way behind the ball plus it demonstrates to our Resident Liberal Loons that I’m not alone in thinking this way
Rusty.Shackleford 3:07 PM on April 11, 2012

If you want to buy a beer you have to show a photo ID. Is that racist too???

morphy699 2:59 PM on April 11, 2012

I find that Holder and BO’s justice Dept have a substantial BIAS against Texas and all other Red States.

BigSarge 3:03 PM on April 11, 2012

The US Justice Department under Obama is a complete JOKE. And Eric Holder is, by far, the WORST, most CORRUPT Attorney General in the history of the United States

TFDNihilist at 2012-04-09 11:46 AM

Why We Need Voter-ID Laws Now

Holder’s opposition to ID laws comes in spite of the Supreme Court’s 6-3 decision in 2008, authored by liberal Justice John Paul Stevens, that upheld the constitutionality of Indiana’s tough ID requirement. When groups sue to block photo-ID laws in court, they can’t seem to produce real-world examples of people who have actually been denied the right to vote. According to opinion polls, over 75 percent of Americans – including majorities of Hispanics and African-Americans – routinely support such laws.

One reason is that people know you can’t function in the modern world without showing ID – you can’t cash a check, travel by plane or even train, or rent a video without being asked for one. In fact, PJ Media recently proved that you can’t even enter the Justice Department in Washington without showing a photo ID. Average voters understand that it’s only common sense to require ID because of how easy it is for people to pretend they are someone else

www.nationalreview.com

I have to present photo ID to buy beer, use a check, enter a DoJ building, on large ticket purchases if using a credit card, ANY time I am cashing a check and not depositing it or paying for a purchase with a check, if picking up a relatives child from daycare, to obtain a library card or a hunting/fishing license and in certain cases when registering for a hotel room but NOT to elect the leader of the last Super Power in the free world?

http://www.drudge.com/news/155494/okeefe-requests-holders-ballot

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/huff-wires/20120410/us-district-primary-voter-fraud/

Surprised? I didn’t think so. But asking for photo ID is “racist.”

Illegal Alien Mass Voter Fraud Discovered in Florida

HUNDREDS of cases in Florida of undocumented democrats voting illegally….THIS IS JUST THE VERY TIP OF THE ICEBERG FOLKS!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaUsT9MLMlA&feature=player_embedded

Read “Menderman’s” comment:
Are voter ID laws racist?

http://iowntheworld.com/blog/?p=126042

I could go on and on almost literally for the rest of the day showing why this stance is total bullshit possibly ad infi nitum. THE ACORN debacle of the 2008 election could be cited as well as a host of other things. Point is Obama and the Democrats do not want this because it would most effect the illegals and the Occupiers they very people he’s trying to use to win a second election with the promise of free handout regardless of citizenship.

On a final note let me say this about the stance that requiring unassailable proof of your identity and therefore of your entitlement to your right to vote as guaranteed in the Constitution interferes with your Constitutional right:

Don't Piss on our Heads It is in point of fact, a logical (given the modern penchant and apparent ease of identity theft) and practical way to

PROTECT & DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATE FROM ALL ENEMIES BOTH FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC!

and we all know who Constitution Threatening Domestic Enemies number one & two are right? Just so we have no mistakes about it, let me Id them for you:

image

YES Dan and the rest of your Liberal Lunatic Lemming posse, TRAITORS! These two men took oaths to uphold their respective offices and to protect and defend the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America. By these actions in attempting to thwart logical and practical protection of those rights and see to it that ONLY citizens can access this right they are betraying their oaths, their offices and their country.

I’M THE LETHAL LEPRECHAUN AND YOU DAMNED WELL BETTER BELIEVE I APPROVED THIS MESSAGE! A BETTER QUESTION IS WHY HAVEN’T THE REST OF YOU?

Ok I’m off to play catch up on work & e-mail until Saturday when I’ll be back pull his Nibs dead weight while he rests up from his week long play date with the rest of his WMD pals.

ed_Irish_blessing closing

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ashamed of our President and think he is SO clueless and unqualified for the position as well as so much of an international embarrassment to the US as to warrant impeachment. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill I think its unconstitutional as it stands and will be challenged and found so by the Supreme Court. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice.
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3 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs #137 for 04/18/2012

  1. Cheap Name brand SPAM products says:

    Nice post. I discover a thing much more challenging on different blogs everyday. It’s going to usually be stimulating to read content material from other writers and practice a bit something from their shop. I’d prefer to use some using the content on my blog whether or not you don’t mind. Natually, I’ll give you a link on your internet weblog. Thanks for sharing.

    Lethal here~

    Our blog CLEARLY says “Copyright 2012 DL & LL Electronic Media Enterprises” ALL RIGHT RESERVED.

    If you’d stop being a lazy shiftless entitlement minded Occupier of other people’s blog post for 5 seconds and Google that you’d find out it means

    KEEP YOUR LAZY LIBERAL THE WORLD OWES ME BECAUSE I AM TO DAMNED STUPID AND LAZY TO WORK FOR MYSELF PLAGIARIZING OTHER PEOPLES HARD WORK AND MONEY GRUBBING PAWS OFF THE MATERIAL IN OUR BLOG YOU PATHETIC PIECE OF HUMAN FLOTSAM!

  2. lethalleprechaun says:

    Tom, Tom ( I know your cousin Tom-Tom well btw)

    I would have thought you’d have figured out what I did long ago, that in the modern era, from lets say mid 70’s on up to the present, (unless you’re discussing women possibly) the only discrimination that TRULY exists in Reverse Discrimination!

    Reverse discrimination is a term referring to discrimination against members of a dominant or majority group, including the city or state, or in favor of members of a minority or historically disadvantaged group. Groups may be defined in terms of race, gender, ethnicity, or other factors. This discrimination may seek to redress social inequalities where minority groups have been denied access to the same privileges of the majority group. In such cases it is intended to remove discrimination that minority groups may already face. Reverse discrimination may also be used to highlight the discrimination inherent in affirmative action programs.

    The issue of reverse discrimination first reached the nation’s highest court in the 1970s, when a student with good grades named Allan Bakke accused a University of California medical school of twice denying him admission because he was white.

    Strict racial quotas were unconstitutional, the court said — affirmative action was not. But that ruling far from decided what many considered the big-picture issue: Does protecting minorities discriminate against the majority?

    More than 30 years, and scores of lawsuits later, the question remains unanswered. Meanwhile, more Americans came to believe that affirmation action is no longer necessary, and that instead of leveling the playfield for minorities, it unfairly punishes whites.

    The law in some countries, such as the UK, draws a distinction between Equality of Provision and Equality of Outcome, recognising that identical treatment may sometimes act to preserve inequality rather than eliminate it. We could damned well take a page from them on the issue IMO.

    Just what constitutes reverse discrimination? In a 2009 case known as Ricci v. DeStefano, a group of white firefighters presented the U.S. Supreme Court with a case that challenges conventional notions of bigotry. They argued that the city of New Haven, Conn., discriminated against them in 2003 when it threw out a test that white firefighters passed at a 50% greater rate than blacks. Because performance on the test was the basis for promotion, none of the blacks in the department would have advanced had the city accepted the results.

    To avoid discriminating against black firefighters, New Haven discarded the test. By making that move, however, the city prevented the white firefighters eligible for promotion from advancing to captain and lieutenant rank.

    In April 2009, counsel for the firefighters argued before the Supreme Court in Ricci v. DeStefano that New Haven could have proven that the test directly related to work duties; instead, the city prematurely declared the exam unfit. During the hearing, Chief Justice John Roberts doubted that New Haven would have chosen to discard the test had the outcomes by race been reversed.

    “So, can you assure me that…if…black applicants…scored highest on this test in disproportionate numbers, and the city said…we think there should be more whites on the fire department, and so we’re going to throw the test out? The government of United States would adopt the same position?” Roberts asked.

    But the New Haven attorney failed to give a direct and coherent response to Roberts’ question, prompting the judge to remark that the city would not have discarded the test had blacks scored well and whites not. If New Haven only did away with the test because it disapproved of the racial makeup of those who excelled on it, the white firefighters in question were no doubt victims of discrimination. Title VII not only prohibits “disparate impact” but also discrimination based on race in any aspect of employment, including promotion.

    The liberals and PC Posse have made sure that they have gone over board in the opposite direction to prove there exists no race based bias and appease their voter base to the point they and legislated white middle class into an unfair second class position! Not only that, but you have people like Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and Jeremiah Wright agitating and pushing for further disadvantages for whites and to elevate Minorities above all others. We have things like Black Entertainment Television (BET), the ( National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), United Negro College Fund, Black History Month, the Southern Poverty Law Center. Can you imagine what would be said and the ruckus raised over WET, NAAWP. United Anglo-Saxon College Fund or White History Month? They’re ready to lynch a Latino in Sanford Florida because he shot a black. Can you see the same thing happening if the Black shot the Latino? How about if the Black shot a White? Can you in your wildest LSD fueled dreams conceive of Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and Jeremiah Wright crying out for the rights of a white for a nanosecond? NO? Then why aren’t they branded as racist instead of activist?

    IMO HALF to the problems we have with violent crime, drugs & welfare fraud as due largely to these over the top more than level the playing field before someone points a finger and accuses us of racism or discrimination policies. Those benefiting from such policies have learned to exploit the system in their favor, they are taught early on they do not have to work or learn to achieve it will be handed to them because of their skin color and quickly learn how to use this to their advantage in every aspect of everyday life to not only pervert the intentions of those laws but to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions. Worse yet from where I sit we have people like Sharpton, Jackson & Wright agitating for MORE opportunities for these people to do this and encouraging them to pervert the law in their favor while in at least the case of one of those 3 actively preaching violence against whites.

    Does reverse racism exist? Not according to the antiracist definition of racism. This definition includes institutional power and not just the prejudices of a lone individual. As institutions which have historically benefited whites attempt to diversify, however, they sometimes favor ethnic minorities over whites. Their purpose in doing so is to right the wrongs of the past and the present against minority groups. But as institutions embrace multiculturalism, they are still forbidden by the 14th Amendment from directly discriminating against any racial group, including whites. Thus, while institutions engage in minority outreach, they must do so in a way that doesn’t unjustly penalize whites for their skin color alone.

    However if you ask me the minute you take one step out side of definitions, theory and liberal Kool-Aid induced fantasy into the real world and yes Tom, reverse discrimination not only exists its thriving and strangling American society

  3. Tom says:

    If picture ID for voting is wrong, then why did I have to show my Illinois driver’s license to vote in the primary this year, and not only that, have a barcode scanner used on the barcode that is on it for that very purpose, to verify that I was to be allowed to vote from the residence I claimed. I should have been able to complain mightily about discrimination or mis-use of power or something, if others don’t have to show ID in order to vote. And I’m sure that a case could be made for racial discrimination if blacks and Hispanics don’t have to do the same since I had to and I’m white.

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