Good morning campers! And a wonderful St. Patrick’s Day to you. I’m on my way to work, but I wanted you all to know that I hope for the very best day for all of you, please be careful and responsible in your celebrations today. I expect to see you all back here next week.
And now, in special celebration of St. Patrick’s Day, …
I’ve always wondered how this trend started. It’s funny, because I thought it was started with pirates and sailors and them having enough gold on them for a Christian burial. Now I know different…
Why Men Wear Earrings
Did you ever wonder why earrings became so popular with men?
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.
The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense”
The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.”
“Don’t make such a big deal, it’s only an earring,” he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, “So, how long have you been wearing one?”
“Ever since my wife found it in my truck.”
JANE FONDA REPORTEDLY LOOKED UP AND REMARKED,
All you pilot types out there ought to know the answer to this one…
Actually, this should be an easy quiz for anyone with even a modicum of knowledge about aircraft and aerodynamics. But, the answer may surprise you.
What is the primary advantage of rotary-winged aircraft over fixed-wing aircraft?
Take your time and think about it before you scroll down to the answer below…
Yeah… I got it wrong, too!
Mythology Land – (Breaking News!) The Federal Government announced today that Ikea will be taking over General Motors. Ikea, an international home furnishings company known for selling it’s products packaged and ready to assemble at home, has agreed to take over the government’s ownership portion of GM (jokingly called, “Government Motors”) with a ground-breaking, assemble your own car at home, idea.
Gives a whole new meaning to “Some Assembly Required.” And just as I figured, “Batteries Not Included!”
“Well, Honey,” he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.”
”How come He doesn’t answer it?” she asked.
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, “So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That’s very commendable. What does she say?”
The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, “And all girls.”
This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, “Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?”
Her response, “Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying ‘All Men’!
This could happen to you!
Caught on a security camera in a parking lot: WATCH THIS – ONLY 52 SECONDS Make sure your wife, husband, TEENAGERS, and all your friends see this! No sound, just watch. You will be flabbergasted. Okay, I think both men AND women should be aware of this. It COULD have happened to anyone of us. If you notice he got away with her car, purse, and keys without touching her . . . Worst of all, she couldn’t even give a description of the person to the police (thankfully there wasn’t a child in the car.) I hate to admit it, but I could see myself doing exactly what she did. I’m glad I saw this video. Please watch and pass it on
This has got to be the coolest interactive on the internet!!! From the smallest object in the universe to the largest. Hours of fun right here!
This is GREAT! Happy St. Patrick’s Day from Guinness
Wife – “Where the heck have you been? You said you’d be done with golf by noon!”
Husband – “I’m so sorry Honey…but you probably don’t want to hear the reason.”
Wife – I want the truth, and I want it NOW!’
Husband – “Fine. We finished in under 4 hours, quick beer in the clubhouse, I hopped in the car, and would have been here at 12 on the button. On the way home, I spotted a girl half our age struggling with a flat tire. I changed it in a jiffy, and next she’s offering me money. Of course I refuse it – Then she tells me she was headed to the bar at the Sheraton – and begs me to stop so she can buy me a beer. She’s such a sweetie, I said yes. Before you know it – one beer turned to three or four, and I guess we were looking pretty good to each other. Then she tells me she has a room at the Sheraton less than 50 steps from our table. She suggested we get some privacy while pulling me by the hand. Now I’m in her room….clothes are flying ……the talking stopped….and we proceeded to have sex in every way imaginable. It must have gone on for hours, because before I know it the clock says 5:30. I jumped up, threw my clothes on, ran to the car, and here I am. There. You wanted the truth….you got it.”
Wife – “Bullshit. You played 36 holes, didn’t you!”
Once upon a time there lived a beautiful queen with lovely large
Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the queen for this reason.
He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to
touch them, but he had to try.
One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague,
Horatio the physician, the king’s chief doctor. Horatio thought about
this and said that he could arrange for Nick to satisfy his desire, but
it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it.
Without any hesitation, Nick readily agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Horatio made up a batch of itching powder and
poured some into the queen’s bra while she bathed. Soon after she
dressed, itching commenced and it grew intense. Upon being summoned to
the royal chambers to address this problem, Horatio informed the king
and queen that only a special saliva, if applied for two hours, would
cure this type of itch, and tests had shown that, among all the citizens
of the kingdom, only Nick’s saliva would work as an antidote to the
The king, eager to help his queen, quickly summoned Nick to
their chambers. Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itching
powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next two hours, Nick
worked passionately on the queen’s large and magnificent breasts.
The Queen’s itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left
satisfied. He was hailed by both the king and the queen as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding
payment of 1000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick
couldn’t have cared less, knowing that Horatio could never report this
matter to the king and, with a laugh, told him to get lost.
The next day, Horatio slipped a large dose of the itching powder
into the king’s underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick . . .
The moral of the story is — pay your bills!
Our dear Lethal Leprechaun on Sunday…
There is a little known story of an Irish daughter…now this daughter may or may not have been a relation to our own Lethal Leprechaun. Tis hard to say and even harder to get our curmudgeonly wee green one to answer a question straight. So, for the sake of our story, let’s just call her an Irish Daughter…
and wouldn’t you know it, but the lass has been gone from home for nigh upon 5 years. Upon her return her father (or possibly her grand-father or a favorite uncle, but we’re not speculating that it could be our Lethal Leprechaun) cursed her heavily. (And none of us can see our dear LL doing that, now can we?)
”Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Not an e-mail, a phone call or even a text message? Have ye no idea what ye put your old mother (or grandmother, aunt…etc.) through? The pain she’s endured…”
The girl replied, crying, “Oh Dad…, I became a prostitute.”
”Ye what!?” exclaimed our hero. “Get out of here ye shameless harlot! You sinner! You’re a disgrace to this Catholic family, ye are!”
“Okay Dad…as ye wish. I only came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a 5 million Euro savings certificate.
For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes Limited Edition Convertible that’s parked outside, plus a membership to the Country Club …” The young girl takes a breath, “and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.”
After a long silence, “What was it you said ye had become?” says Dad.
The girl starts crying again, “a…prostitute, Daddy.”
”Oh my goodness! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said a Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!”
So, as you can see…there’s no way of knowing one way or the other, if it be our dear Leprechaun! Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Actual sign on the girder at the Guinness Factory
all and I replied that I did, periodically.
The wedding was terrible, but the reception was excellent!
For today’s Last Word, I think it very appropriate to show you this wonderful article from National Geographic called:
St. Patrick’s Day 2012: Facts, Myths, and Traditions
Updated March 16, 2012
There is just way too much here for me to dwell on any one specific thing, but there are a couple of things I want you all to take out of this…especially our dear Leprechaun…St. Patrick wasn’t Irish, he was British; He didn’t drive the snakes out of Ireland, that was the Ice Age; The holiday, as we know it today isn’t Irish, it’s American; and Orange is more likely the color we should use, not green! Faith and begorah, I need another pint of Guinness! I hope you all have a truly marvelous St. Patrick’s Day and a great weekend. Now, I’m off to work, keeping the world safe for Dragons.