Leprechaun Laughs #256 for July 23rd 2014


               image

image

Telepresenct

<High speed electronic whirring is head mere moments before iLethal comes flying into the room. It skids to a halt, momentarily doing a pretty good impression of a Weeple- wobbling back and forth but not falling down, before neatly spinning around in an about face on its own axis.>

“Sod it all! This thing has no bloody hands! Quick! Before he can waddle down the hall! Someone close, lock and bar the door! If you want your issue anytime soon you’ll step to it quickly too before he works up a head of steam! Wait! Slide that blue box of tarts down the hall that will distract him and slow him down a minute until I can get to the podium’s controls!”

<iLethal pivots around and speeds off headed towards the podium. When it arrives it pauses a fraction of a second to line up on something before speeding at the podium full tilt. A click and snap are audible from the podium as well as a rumbling sound from just outside the now locked & barred door along with the scream of a frustrated Dragon abet through a mouthful of donuts box and all>

HA! Eat Portcullis You petulant pain in my electronic posterior dragon!

AHEM! Sorry about that entrance folks. I moved iLethal in here last night hoping to avoid at least Impish’s opening thrice a day whine & wheedle about telling him where I am or will be next. Seems he one upped me though and carried iLethal into his office in an attempt to hold it captive until I agreed to his joining me.

Fortunately his outweigh me by several tons and having to take care not to further injure his burnt tail worked against him and I was able to zip away before he quite realized I had remote connected to iLethal. Lucky for us  I opted for the electronic interface option and had the podium in here modified so iLethal can dock to it allowing me to use the Podiums controls remotely. The portcullis was originally installed and meant to keep him away from the Craft Table prior to you folks arriving, I never envisioned having to use it to keep Mr. Whiney Wheedle Pants out during an issue posting.”

<Rattling of the Portcullis is heard along with  a faint voice threatening impotently then whining to be admitted and promising to be quite- but only for the presentation of the issue before he continued his discussion with Lethal>

“Don’t worry! I’m going to allow your favorite Dragon in just as soon as I finish my opening remarks. You know in a way I feel bad because he is doing a halfway decent job of handling the day to day stuff while I’m gone. I’m sure he’ll appreciate todays issue very much since its rather bawdy and naughty. I figured we were going to reach this point soon anyway.

See its not so much the fact that Impish has to do actual work that is the problem, he did after all carry this e-zine for 6 years on his own before I came along. The problem is that I have become his chief procurer of virgins and well… lets just say when Impish peddles the come on bologna to ladies unless I’m supplying him the really good imported stuff he goes home frustrated. Sexually frustrated Dragons can’t sleep soundly, are cranky and exhibit bouts of paranoia. Think I’m kidding? Why you you think towns sacrificed so many of their pretty young maidens in the old days? You rather have a sleeping contented and happy dragon in your mountain or are restless cranky paranoid one?

<More rattling and whining are faintly heard from behind the door, though the noise does seem a bit diminished and less aggravated than previously.>

Weill I see those Peach Prozac tarts and the  Ambien Apple ones are taking effect. If those of you who so kindly barred the door before would very carefully and quietly unbar and unlock it I’ll wait until you are clear to raise the Portcullis so nobody gets trampled by a desperate to get its way Dragon run amuck.  Oh, and someone please move Diaman’s lounge up here on the stage where she’ll be safely out of the way? With her bad leg she doesn’t need to be trampled by Impish. Not only that, but when he finally returned to what passes for his senses he’d be very distraught that he’d caused her discomfort her being his number 1 groupie and all. Ok got it? Great. Here we go then everyone stand back for Impish’s arrival.”

<Two clicks are heard for the Podium. The rumbling of a winch laboring someplace under the floor can be heard in concert with the rattling of the Portcullis as it slowly rises. The sound of snickering and chuckling coming from iLethal causes a few to glance back to the Podium and see it swiftly descending into the floor.>

“What? I said I was letting him in I never said I was hanging around to give him another shot at kidnapping iLethal! I’ll catch up with you good folks further on down the road. Once Impish has calmed down and fallen asleep. I’ve arranged for him to be lightly sedated and left him a rather lengthy e-mail of come on lines to use on his next virgin & victuals tour that should make him livable for at least….

<A section of flooring sliding neatly into place where the Podium used to be cuts off Lethal’s final remarks just as  a rather perturbed Dragon with lips flecked in powdered sugar and jelly donut filling crashes through the now open, hanging off their hinges doors shouting>

“Once the issue is presented don’t you dare leave Lethal and none of that losing the satellite link  crap like yesterday either! It’s rude to run out on people who are refusing to take no for an answer, particularly electronically so they can’t catch you! I’m not though presenting my reasons why your being unfair about my join….

Where is he? Where did that little inconsiderate electronic leprechaun substitute get to?

Gone? Gone where? Gone how? ANOTHER secret escape tunnel that’s only Leprechaun sized? This is so unfair! Huh? Yawn! Yeah yeah go ahead start the issue.” <He flops down in his designated spot grumbling and carefully uses his tail to drag the craft table nearer to him>

opening logo 7

f99a7b5113bcd02ceced7975

This was how I was served my coffee this morning, which is nothing compared to how I was served my lunch sushi yesterday. I made the mistake of emailing the lunch service photo (below) to Impish and that’s what made him so frantically insistent on joining me.

image

Apparently Impish is under the firmly held impression that the table ware is supposed to be edible as well despite my best efforts to explain otherwise.

image

I’m trying to decide which airline to invest in. Opinions?

image

Oooo! I wonder if she demonstrates the ‘No Hands’ Oral Application Method’ Trick? Speaking of Condoms- the ads encouraging usage of them can be quite steamy and funny

Dick gone wild – Best condom ads

Anybody figured out yet how I’m going to calm Impish down and stop his insistence on joining my vacation because he’s suffering a dry spell with me gone? Yup I’m going to placate him with ribald and risky offerings to the point his sex drive shuts down…or to the end of the issue which ever comes first. If that doesn’t work I gave Diaman a whip to use.

e2d2542c5e43125eed822d

At least that’s what our self proclaimed #1 groupie told me.

image

I honestly don’t know who’s worse nowadays, the Airlines or the TSA!

TSA Says Uncharged Gadgets Can’t Fly

By Jill Scharr July 7, 2014 7:00 AM – Source: Tom’s Guide US

Travelers flying into the United States from certain overseas airports will be required to turn on their cellphones and other electronic devices for the preflight scanning and inspection, the Transport Security Administration (TSA) announced yesterday (July 6).

People with a unpowered device will not be allowed to board their flights, the TSA said in an online posting, and those passengers “may also undergo additional screening.”

The increased security measure is a response to new intelligence about possible terrorist plots, a DHS official told CNN, adding that the affected airports are mostly located in the Middle East and Europe. The airports were not named.

The new regulation comes from a directive by Secretary of Homeland Security Jeh Johnson.

“DHS [Department of Homeland Security] continually assesses the global threat environment and reevaluates the measures we take to promote aviation security,” Johnson wrote in a statement on the DHS’s website last week.

Neither Johnson’s statement nor the TSA announcement yesterday specified what other kinds of electronic devices would be affected. TSA agents have occasionally asked flyers to power up their laptops, but the practice does not appear to be official policy.

Though this increased inspection is required in order to board your flight, U.S. citizens still do not need to divulge their device passcodes or encryption codes during border searches.

 

image

Actually kid, I think that makes you a dickhead. Bet your parents are liberals! 

 

image

Ooh! Almost lunch time on my current side of the world! Here comes my dining companion now!

gjpar

I find her so stimulating and she makes such great points!

image

Microwave Corn on the Cob — No Shucking & Silk-Free!

 

Chocolate Brownie Waffles

I tend to follow Chef Alton Brown’s philosophy about allowing items into my kitchen, very few of my utensils or counter top appliances do only one dedicated thing.

Here is a way to make quick easy brownies in the summer getting double duty of that fall/winter only waffle maker and keeping your kitchen cooler at the same time.

 image

 

INGREDIENTS
  • 1 box brownie mix
  • 2/3 cup vegetable oil
  • 2 eggs
  • For variety, add raisins, walnuts, boozy berries, warm caramel, hot fudge or whipped cream.
PREPARATION

Preheat waffle maker to medium-low.

Prepare brownies according to mix directions, omitting any water or milk. Pour 1/2 cup of the mixture per square in the waffle maker. Bake for 10 minutes.

Once baked, open waffle maker and turn off the heat. Let brownies sit until slightly cool, about 3 minutes

Serve alone or with a scoop of ice cream.

Magic Dust Seasoning Mix

BestSteakSeasoning 210x300 RECIPE: The Best Homemade Steak Seasoning

Makes about 2 cups

Ingredients:

  • ½ cup Paprika
  • ¼ cup Kosher Salt
  • ¼ cup Sugar
  • ¼ cup Cumin
  • ¼ cup Granulated Garlic
  • ¼ cup Chili Powder
  • 2 tablespoons Mustard Powder
  • 2 tablespoons Ground Black Pepper
  • 2 tablespoons Cayenne Pepper

Instructions

  1. In a medium bowl, combine all the ingredients and gently whisk together. Using a funnel, spoon the mixture into 4oz mason jars. Cover and seal.
  2. Rub steaks with Olive Oil then, generously coat with Magic Dust Seasoning. Marinate 1 hour before grilling.

STONEGABLE SPICY BBQ RUB

I usually double or triple this recipe. 

1 TBS smoked paprika
2 TBS garlic powder
2 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp black pepper
2 tsp chili powder
2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp cayenne
1 TBS dried chives
2 TBS brown sugar
1 tsp  kosher salt
1 TBS sugar

Mix all the ingredients in a bowl.  Pat meat dry and rub all over liberally.

Slow Cooker Creamy Swiss Veal & Mushrooms

Don’t skip this because it says Veal and Veal is expensive. Stew meat veal is generally fairly reasonable and I regularly substitute lean pork stew meat or boneless chicken thighs cut up for the veal. I’ll bet with a little finagling you could even wind up doing a Swiss meat ball or Meatloaf/home-style meat ball in this.

image

What You’ll Need

1 3/4 cups  Chicken Broth or Chicken Stock
1 can (10 3/4 ounces)  Condensed Cream of Potato Soup
1 teaspoon dried thyme leaves, crushed
1 1/2 pounds veal for stew, cut into 1-inch pieces
1 package (8 ounces) sliced mushrooms
8 green onions, sliced (about 1 cup)
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/4 cup water
1 cup shredded Swiss cheese (about 4 ounces)
4 cups egg noodles, cooked and drained

How to Make It

  • 1 Stir the broth, soup, thyme, veal, mushrooms and green onions in a 3 1/2-quart slow cooker. Cover and cook on LOW for 7 to 8 hours or until the veal is fork-tender.
  • 2 Stir the flour and water in a small bowl until the mixture is smooth. Stir the flour mixture in the cooker. Increase the heat to HIGH. Cover and cook for 5 minutes or until the mixture boils and thickens.
  • 3 Stir in the cheese. Serve the veal mixture over the noodles. Season with black pepper.

I prefer using Cream of Mushroom or Golden Cream of Mushroom over the potato soup depending on what meat I’m using. I’ll also swap the stock for Beef when called for

Why Rednecks Aren’t Allowed to Join Country Clubs

image

News of the Weird

Meth Head Arrested After Confusing Plymouth Prowler for Alien Spaceship

image

BRYANT, AR – A Bryant man was arrested after police say he followed a couple around town harassing and threatening them because he thought the car was a spaceship and the driver was an alien.

The driver of the car was nervous enough to call police and feel threatened to the point he considered the concealed carry weapon he had with him.

The man arrested was James Bushart, 44.

When police stopped Bushart, he was found with meth, a pipe used to smoke meth and charged with DWI and Disorderly Conduct.

According to the police report, the officer conducting the traffic stop and field sobriety test says he was shaky and talking to himself throughout.

What the victim, Jay Ward, seems to think caused the problem was the car he was driving; a Plymouth Prowler.

He says Bushart followed he and his girlfriend around Bryant, at one point pulling in front of them at a stop, all the while making threatening gestures and demanding the “alien take his spaceship back to where they came from.”

“That was my biggest problem with what was going on was how upset he was. I guess in reference to the vehicle was the only thing I could think,” Jay explained. “I was a little upset about that mostly because I also had a passenger with me that was concerned for her safety as well.”

According to the police report Bushart claimed he was curious about the car because “it looked like a futuristic machine.” At one point he also told police that “he was a very big deal and had 100,000 Asian flowers.”

The victim here says he’s glad it didn’t escalate any more than having to call police.

Hmm..you know Impish’s narrator {memo to self post vacation find out who the hell authorized hiring a narrator for Impish’s issues!] said he was  talking to himself, hadn’t slept in days and had mistaken his own tail for a threat (alien?) you don’t suppose its not the sudden lack of female attention that has Impish whacked out? You don’t think has gone on the pipe do you?

image

You know I always wondered what that Jungle Yodeling was all about. Here I thought maybe it was his version of a siren!

image

u7twmhz

As you know last week Impish celebrated his 19th Anniversary. His daughter (aka  the Littlest Dragon) wanted to contribute to the commemoration of this event and sent me this picture she  drew of Mr. & Mrs. Dragon’s Anniversary night festivities-

image

The Littlest Dragon is a heck of an artist isn’t she? Drawing a candid is hard! You’ve got to be real fast before they spot you!

image

image

<Impish can be heard breathing deeply and slowly, his head protectively over the end of his still singe evident tail. Diaman is seen gently caressing his eye ridges from her lounge, her eyes barely open as well. It’s obvious their respective medications are about to do them both into the land of nod. A low hum is heard and the tablet/head of iLethal appears to rise up from the floor pivoting around periscope like taking in the scene. The monitor screen behind the podium flicks to life with text>

I’ll take my victories with Impish where and when I can get them. For the moment he’s asleep. That seems like a good place to end this issue. If all ya’ll with gather up your stuff and quietly exit the room making sure not to disturb Diaman and Impish I’ll be sure to have one of the staff come and sit watch over them till they wake. Mean times it seems I’ll need to rush an order for a bunch more iLethals as I’m sure Impish is going to try to hold my telepresence captive the moment he so much as sees iLethal twitch the next time so I’ll have to play the shell game with him and have them hidden all over the mountain. Sleep well my friend here’s one more picture for you before I  board Shamrock One and wing off for the second 1/2 of my vacation.

The Living

the-perfect-ratio-hd

End

Beach

LEP Sig

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Dragon Laffs #1394


Header91

You arrive at the campground on Saturday morning as usual, there’s coffee, as usual, and pastries, bagels, and breakfast sandwiches, also as usual.  You realize that the kitchen staff at Dragon Laffs campground is as efficient as ever, what you don’t see with your morning Dragon Laffs is Impish Dragon.  Other campers are milling around, grabbing coffee, putting smush on bagels, filling their plates and their cups; you ask around, but nobody seems to know where Impish is.  He’s normally the first one here…Okay, that’s not true.  You know that Diaman is ALWAYS the first one here, but knowing that she is still under the weather with a bum leg, you really wouldn’t be surprised to not see her, but upon looking around, there she is, seated in a comfortable lounger with a blanket thrown casually across her lap and legs. 

You decide to go over and check on her and she tells you that she had to go back into surgery on Thursday and also…

Thank you all for all your prayers…the surgery went well and today my leg looks much better. It just might be
ready for plastic surgery in 3 weeks, God willing. I’m so exhausted & wiped out so this is it for a few days.
Again, thank you, all, for your good thoughts & prayers.
Blessings for each & everyone.

Of course tell her that you, like everyone else here at Dragon Laffs Campground and you are quite sure all of Dragon Laffs and Leprechaun Laffs Electronic Media Enterprises, LLP will do the same.  You both get a chuckle out of the funny name that Lethal and Impish have come up with for their mostly mythological madness and mayhem (4M) and you finally broach the subject of Impish’s missingness. 

She tells you that she’s sure he’ll be along shortly.  You know he’s running the whole corporation right now with Lethal being on vacation.  A well earned and well deserved vacation, to be sure, but it’s been hard on the dragon these past weeks with Lethal being gone.  I even heard there was a fire, a small one, but a fire just the same.  Seems that Impish has been under such stress that while he was working at his desk the other day, his tale had slithered out, under the desk and had risen along the front side of it.  Well, when his tale poked itself up in front of his desk without his knowledge, he immediately panicked, went into fight or flight mode, fight won out and he used his best weapon.

You gasp and say, “You don’t mean…?”

“Yup, he flamed his own tail.  You know that dragon’s breath will burn anything!  It’s about the only thing they aren’t immune to or have a thick enough scaled hide to be protected against is each other’s breath weapons.  Well, he hurt himself so badly, that he leaped about, setting most of the stacks of paper on fire in his office and had to have the fire brigade come and put him out. Oh look, there he is now.”

And sure enough, you see a very bedraggled looking blue dragon slowly making his way into the middle of the campground, he seems to be mumbling to himself and as he gets closer, you can begin to make out some of the words.

You have to say it.  You have to.  No, you have to.  It’s only right.  What’s only right?  Only what’s left is right.  That’s silly and doesn’t make any sense. What do you sense? Something is wrong? Then it must be right, because what’s left is right, that makes what’s right being wrong, therefore it must be right.

He finally looks up and realizes, that there are people about.  You can see his tail is wrapped up in bandages that in some places are still smoking somewhat.  Some of them look freshly burned and the parts of his tail that is showing through looks really bad.  Charred in some places and your pretty sure that it used to be a little bit longer than it is now.  He seems to be looking around like he’s lost, finally, he wanders over to the coffee urn, puts his head directly under the spigot and takes five or six really big gulps until the urn runs dry.  He shakes his head and tsk, tsks, shoves a jelly donut in his mouth and heads back to the middle of the open area he uses for these Saturdays.  One of the kitchen staff waits until he heads off and then replaces the empty urn with a fresh one.

Good Camper Mornings Good…camp … morn…!

Here in Indiana, they say that the corn needs to be knee high by the fourth of July. Well, as you can see by today’s header (which was taken on the fourth of July, by the way) the corn is out doing itself this year. The corn is extremely happy, because it’s growing so well.  I know, because it told me right after I took that picture.   Everyone else seems very pleased by this as well … um … oh, and by the beans.  I think they are speaking of soybeans, but the beans aren’t speaking to me … snotty assed beans … and not being a real bean eater myself, I’m not really sure, but every sure seems happy.

I have to admit.  I’m not really feeling myself this morning.  I don’t know who else I might be feeling, but it definitely isn’t me.  Lethal’s been gone and I’ve been trying, really trying to be good.  Good Dragon.  At least I didn’t burn the place down.  He takes a long look at his tale.  Well, not most of it, anyway.  Now this guy he says, pointing at his tale, has done a crap up job of scaring people…well, dragon people anyway, and he caught a bunch of stuff on fire… Lethal is going to be so mad at me…a bunch of stuff on fire.  Dragon are people, people who can turn into dragons and turn back into people. Well, mostly my work, but I got it all caught up again.  Haven’t slept in a week … a long time.  But it’s all caught up.  It’s all fixed.  and now it’s time…

Impish stops in mid sentence and is standing there.  His tale planted firmly against the ground and with his two legs they form a very sturdy tripod.  As you wait for more from him you very faintly begin to hear him snore.  So, as your trusty narrator, it’s my job to tell you…

coollogo_com-197233140

 

A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, “T-G-I-F” (letters only).

He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T” (letters only).”

She looked at him, puzzled, and said, “T-G-I-F” again.

He acknowledged her remark again by answering, “S-H-I-T.”

The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, “T-G-I-F” another time.

The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, “S-H-I-T.”

The blonde finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, “T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It’s Friday, get it?”

The man answered, “Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday.”

This is amazing!  I got to get me one of these for Christmas!  Santa?  You listening my friend?  I’ll promise to go easy on you at Tuesday night poker!  Promise!

signs25b

5c

5d

5e

5f

5g

 

Are you kidding me?  How much more blatantly stupid can you possibly be.  This bullshit is getting completely out of control.

Holder DOJ Finally Finds A Scandal Worth Investigating – An Anti-Obama Parade Float

The Obamessiah shall not be mocked.

The U.S. Department of Justice sent a member of its “Community Relations Service team” to Norfolk, Nebraska, earlier this week, to look into allegations of discrimination over a controversial float in the town’s Independence Day parade.

A meeting was convened on Thursday with the DOJ CRS team member, the NAACP, the Norfolk mayor and The Independent Order of Odd Fellows – the group that organized the parade.

1obamatruckracist1The offending float included a zombie-like mannequin in overalls standing in front of an outhouse labeled “Obama Presidential Library.” This caused some of Norfolk’s citizens to cry racism.
Racism? Towards who? Zombies?  Are you serious?  What the hell is racist about that float?  Seriously, what am I not getting here?

Was the float in poor taste? Sure. Was it tacky? Oh yeah. Funny? That’s in the eye of the beholder, I guess. I found it cringeworthy myself. But racist? I’m not seeing it. I see political satire. You don’t like it? Write a letter to the editor. Come on, people.

Anti-Obama political satire is not only frowned upon in Obama’s America, it’s considered possibly criminal, because the Holder Justice Department – which refuses to properly investigate the IRS targeting of American citizens – actually saw fit to send an DOJ emissary to the town to investigate a stupid parade float.  Where are we going where it is against the law to say anything negative about the president?  What comes next? Men dressed in black, breaking into our houses and taking us away in the middle of the night?  This is pure crap!  If we’re not really careful, we aren’t going to like what the future holds for us. 

Take the example of myself and Lethal and scream it from the rooftops.  It’s time to wake up America!

Read More:  http://www.breitbart.com/

Dragon Pic

DragonPapa1 (266)

 

Amid Border Crisis, Obama to Take 15-Day Vacation in Martha’s Vineyard

I’m about tired of Nero fiddling while Rome burns.  I haven’t had a vacation since long before his ass took office and yet, I’m paying for him to take off and not do his job?  If this was anyone who worked in your office, or if it was you, would your boss allow you this type of crap or would you be fired?  Just ask yourself that.
President Obama is taking a 15-day vacation in Martha’s Vineyard next month, despite the widespread criticism he’s received for not visiting the U.S.-Mexico border while it descends into chaos.

The Obamas will leave Washington on Saturday, Aug. 9, and stay at a $12 million vacation home in Martha’s Vineyard until Sunday, Aug. 24, the White House confirmed late Wednesday.

The president’s extended vacation comes as the flood of illegal immigrants continues to cripple the United States’ southern border.

Republicans and Democrats alike have criticized Mr. Obama for visiting two fundraisers during his trip to Texas this week without taking a trip to survey the ICE detention facilities holding thousands of immigrants.

Texas Sen. Ted Cruz jabbed the president Wednesday by tweeting Google Map directions to border towns from Mr. Obama’s planned fundraiser stops in Austin and Dallas.

 

5h

 

 

Politically Incorrect

6f

6

6a

6b

6c

6d

6e

It’d be a whole lot funnier if it weren’t so true. 

 

Fantasy pix2

DragonPapa1 (264)

 

Okay, so some of these questions are funny, but it’s some of the great answers that really got me rolling…

 

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that when you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.

 
In modern education and expanded government, however, a whole range of far more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:

1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Threatening the horse with termination.
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other countries to see how others ride dead horses.
6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
7. Re-classifying the dead horse as “living-impaired.”
8. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
9. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase the speed.
10. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse’s performance.
11. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse’s performance.
12. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead, and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
13. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
14. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
15. As a last resort, appoint it as Attorney General.

Well, you must admit, that it certainly worked out well for Eric Holder.

 

5

 

A wife hands her husband a silk handkerchief and asks him: “Doesn’t this belong to your secretary?”

 
“Where did you find that?” he stutters.
 
“I didn’t,” she answers. “The mail man found it on your night-stand.”

 

Animal Chatter 2

a1

a2

a3

a4

a5

It’s Tuesday, Mrs. Dragon and my 19th wedding anniversary, and with our little Izzy Dragon being around the house, you might think that we couldn’t have celebrated too awfully much, but due to a little friend of hers having a birthday party and then taking her out to Circus City Days in Peru, she’s just now wandered in at about 9 pm.  (We dropped her off at noon).  Well, not to discuss how we spent our time, but when Izzy Dragon got dropped off at the house, she came totting in with this:
4

It’s almost as big as she is.  She won it by throwing a baseball, hitting a superhero and having the ball bounce back into a basket.  She was the only one who won anything.  She’s pretty proud of herself, so I thought I’d share it here.  Besides, Pikachu is almost a Japanese dragon.  Okay, so not so much, but I can believe anything I want to.
Izzy Dragon just said she doesn’t like my opinion.
She’s says he’s supposed to be like a cat or something.
Does anybody know, what the hell a Pikachu is?

According to Siri, Pikachu is a mouse Pokémon, so there’s now 3 opinions.  What do you think?
Mrs. Dragon just piped in and said it could be whatever I wanted it to be since it was my blog.  So, it’s a dragon.

So there!

And you think your home life is strange…

 

Let’s now talk about how your job resembles a role playing game….

5i

 

A dire warning for the United States.  It’s happening to France, who went through the exact same thing we are currently starting.  THE EXACT SAME THING!  Be sure to listen all the way to the end and you can hear the comparison for yourself.
http://www.cbn.com/tv/3255110732001

Congress, are YOU listening?  Or are you too busy lining your own pockets?

 

WALKING ON THE GRASS

  The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.

The instructor said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you.

Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier.

Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.”

“Gentlemen, remember — you’re in this together. It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both.”

The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information. After a few moments a man, name unknown, at the back of the room, slowly raised his hand.

“Yes?” said the Instructor.

“I was just wondering if it would be all right, if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

Brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?

This level of sensitivity can’t be taught.

coollogo_com-199371414

picture

pessi

once

This is the honest truth.  Every person who’s written that check to the United States of America for up to and including my life knows this deep in their heart.  It doesn’t matter how old you are, how long you’ve been out, whether you retired or just did a couple of years.  Once you’ve written that check, you’ve written it for life.

obama

nascar

 

Clever Volkswagen
If this doesn’t get the message across nothing ever will. The problem is how do you get it to those people who habitually engage in the practice of fiddling with their cell phones & talking on them when they are driving??
 
A movie theatre in Hong Kong encourages its patrons to leave their mobile phones switched on so it can teach a lesson.  And, well done VW.
 
What a clever way to communicate how risky it is to use mobile phones while driving.  More than 1.5 million views in 3 days.

I don’t drive near as much as I used to, but it still amazes me the number of people I pass on the road who are texting while they’re driving.  Not only is it illegal, it’s stupid and very, very dangerous.  I don’t think you should even use the phone unless you have some sort of hands free Bluetooth device.  It’s not just you who you might hurt.

3a

Apparently it is!  Go IRS!!  Lowering the bar for all of us!!

 

And in the same vein…

The odds of winning the Florida lottery are 1 in 22,957,480.
The odds of winning the Powerball is 1 in 175,223,510. 

The odds of winning Mega Millions is 1 in 258,890,850.

The odds of a disk drive failing in any given month are roughly one in 36. The odds of two different drives failing in the same month are roughly one in 36 squared, or 1 in about 1,300. The odds of three drives failing in the same month is 36 cubed or 1 in 46,656.

The odds of seven different drives failing in the same month (like what happened at the IRS when they received a letter asking about emails targeting conservative and pro Israeli groups) is 37 to the 7th power = 1 in 78,664,164,096. (that’s over 78 Billion) In other words, the odds are greater that you will win the Florida Lottery 342 times than having those seven IRS hard drives crashing in the same month.

And, the odds of a Democrat telling the truth are even higher.
Well, since this is the way we are rolling, let’s just roll right into today’s Last Word..

Last Word4

4a

What are you willing to fight for?  What do you believe strongly enough to actually not only get up off your butt and do something about, but actually FIGHT for?  Bare fists, weapons, throw yourself completely and utterly into the conflagration?  What would it take? z17

Threats to your family?  To your self?  To your children?

Seriously, what would it take for  you to be all in?

I’m here telling you that I think we are very, very close to that point.  Our families are being threatened.  Our children’s future is definitely being threatened.  My family, your family, all of our families.  Our American way of life is rapidly disappearing right in front of us and what are we doing about it?

We have millions of homeless, sick, under paid, under insured, men and women working 80 and 90 hours a week just to make ends meet.  People working well past the age of retirement because they can’t afford to stop.  Our military vets can’t get decent medical treatment for the wounds they suffered defending OUR rights and liberties…those we have left. 

The Emperor, Lord Obama is in the White House laughing at us, doing what he wants, when he wants.  Giving money away to every one but those who need it and deserve it. 

Did you hear about the $50 million contract given out to refurbish a resort in Texas for illegal teens that are making it across the border?  Indoor Olympic size pool, outdoor pool, Wi-Fi, spas, etc., ad naseum.

Then I read this…

Department of Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson shocked senators of both parties when he revealed that it costs $250 to $1,000 per day to house each of the immigrant children who have recently arrived at the border.

When Johnson reported that figure, “there was an audible gasp, a bipartisan gasp,” Senator Marco Rubio (R., Fla.) told National Review Online.

Senate Budget Committee chairwoman Patty Murray (D., Wash.) wouldn’t comment on the overall cost of housing so far. “It’s in the president’ request,” she said. President Obama asked Congress to provide $1.8 billion to the Department of Health and Human Services “to provide the appropriate care for unaccompanied children, consistent with Federal law, while maintaining services for refugees.”

$250 to $1000 a day per child!!!  Are you friggin’ kidding me!!!!  I’ll take a couple of kids and raise them in my home, pay me the average of what you are paying for them!  Between $91,250 and $365,000 a year per child!!!!  That averages out to $625 a day or $228,125 a year!  Oh hell yeah!  Funny how I can raise and keep 3 of us for less than a fourth of that!  Give me two kids and I’ll retire right now and show those kids a hell of a good time.  Put them in the best schools (along with my own, of course).  Nope, I’m just getting by with my paltry salary, while people that are here ILLEGALLY are being treated like gold…or future voters. 

See that’s the problem.  The reason the rest of the Americans (and I include the blacks in this, too.  I’ll explain that in a minute) aren’t basking in the $ fountain is because they know they’ve lost our vote and there isn’t anything they can do to get it back.  Even the blacks are being disenfranchised because of the illegal Mexicans garnering the new favorite child trophy.  

Do you know how many billions of dollars we give away every year to other countries?  A good portion of which are our outright enemies and many more who would be if we weren’t paying them off!  We have needy in OUR OWN COUNTRY!!!!

And he’s laughing and making jokes at us.  “So sue me!”

And Eric Holder (the first ever black Attorney General) gets interviewed on TV by a black man, talking about the president (the first half black, half white president) and has the unmitigated gall to say that the problems with our country and the reason the administration is struggling is due to racism.

YOU SELF-RIGHTOUS ASS, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH RACISM, YOU AND YOUR COHORTS SUCK SWAMP SCUM!!!  YOU AND YOUR ADMINISTRATION is the worst thing that has happened to this country EVER!!!  You should ALL be FIRED, IMPEACHED and thrown in JAIL! 

May I be so bold as to misquote Dan Aykroyd, “Eric you ignorant Slut!”  Get your head out of your ass, or better yet, get your head out of Obama’s ass and realize that you are a HUGE part of the problem.  DO! YOUR! JOB!  Your job is not to be Obama’s toady, you don’t even WORK for HIM, you work for US.

So…

what are you willing to fight for?

z1 (2)

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Leprechaun Laughs # 255 for Wednesday July 16th 2014


image

Telepresenct

You chat among yourselves, sip Lethal’s coffee and nosh pastries Impish has yet to discovered where borrowed were diverted from restocking his private stash. Gradually becoming aware of a strange sound approaching the auditorium. A steady  low humming whirring  noise draws closer but is in competition with the now familiar shuffling sound that heralds Impish’s approach punctuated with low voiced plaintive assertions and what might be Lethal’s  voice responding abet sounding distance and some how oddly off.

The doors swing in and you see this electronic spectacle enter  pause a second then spin on axis lean slightly forward and head towards Impish ramp to the stage. As this occurs you hear  Lethal’s voice emanating from a speaker someplace on the electronic self locomoting oddity.

“According to you nothing is fair unless it gets you your way. I’m on VACATION Impish, my first in the 6 years I’ve been running this company you wing off at a moments notice- some provided post departure I might add to your conferences, seminars, symposiums and lord only knows what else well I saw an open window in the schedule and I got to it first. THAT is what is really behind all this incessant whining and insisting on known where I am and what my itinerary is. Your just mad that I won’t let you freeload on MY vacation and stuck you with the office for once! Now pipe down I have an intro to do so I can get back to enjoying this sunset and scenery”

Good morning folks! I’d like to introduce you to my new telepresence avatar I’ve dubbed iLethal. Telepresence refers to a set of technologies which allow a person to feel as if they were present, to give the appearance of being present, or to have an effect, via telerobotics, at a place other than their true location. This will allow me to extend my vacation almost up until I have to return for the start of the fall school semester starts. (In case I haven’t mentioned it in addition to work at my business I’m going back to school and will be taking a full academic course load as an online student starting August 15th assuming my funding comes through) Normally instead of the image you see now you’d see my face and be able to read my facial expressions but since the island I’m currently on is somewhat hedoni8stic in nature and sport a high percentage of nudist and clothing optional beaches I’ve elected not to engage the camera on my end,however rest assured that I can see all of you. In proof I direct you attention to the entertaining site of Impish choking on a dozen donuts box and all while beating his head against the floor  ever since he just found out I was on a hedonistic practically all nude island he knows not where.

Anyhow please avoid the growing puddle of dragon bodily fluids, iLethal has already texted maintenance for several bags of Speedi Dry which should arrive shortly.

One last thing before we get started, there in place of the usual Parting Shot this week there are two very important announcements so please be sure to read all the way to the end I know you’ll feel very bad about missing either of them as they are both very important and worthy of your noting.

[You hear several sultry voices and an indecent squeal of half hearted feminine protest in the background. This causes Impish to groan and commence banging his head harder]

Well folks as I’m sure you heard the evening’s festivities director and her 5 lovely assistants [Impish grabs a chair out from under someone and commences to beat himself in the head with it] have arrived so I have to be going. Don’t worry about Impish I anticipated something like this might happen, not only is his Veterinary Doctor on the way but the custard in those Chocolate Covered Bavarian Cream Filled Donuts he scarfed was very heavily laced with an extremely effective Dragon sedative which should be taking hold very shortly.

Opening Logo 17

screamin

 

Retirement The longer you’ve been together, the funnier this becomes!

An elderly couple was at home watching TV.

Phil had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel.

Sally became more and more annoyed and finally said: “For god’s sake Phil, Leave it on the porn channel. You know how to fish!”

I Bet you didn’t see that coming

image

SPEAKING of being so dumb …nah never mind. That one’s just too easy even if I AM on vacation.

image

image

OH MAN! I’ll need a whole forest of these pads with Impish!

I bet you didn’t know this about Christie and Obama:

Many thought that Gov. Chris Christie and President Obama seemed overly
friendly during the president’s tour of damage done by Superstorm Sandy.

image

Turns out Pres. Obama and Chris Christie were childhood friends!

image

image

Well once again my attempt at getting you people to respond and comment/participate in response to something has failed. I can’t tell if the game is too hard or the majority of you are just that sodden lazy and unmotivated. “Sister Mary Stigmata of Our Lady of the Blessed Shroud Orphanage” got mentioned for 3 issues straight both my myself and Impish but nobody commented with the source of this movie reference …AGAIN.

Now granted the character’s correct name might have been slightly obscure to all but devoted fans of the movie but I even gave you hits by dropping her nickname which she was probably more familiarly known by to anyone who saw either of the 2 movies she played a supporting role in, ‘The Penguin’. Impish please tail slap that wise guy who yelled out ‘Batman Returns’.


The correct answer was The Blues Brothers &/or Blues Brothers 2000

image

image

Bacon Cheeseburger Quesadillas

Try this creative way for serving a cheeseburger!

Bacon Cheeseburger Quesadillas

Ingredients

  • 1/2 pound lean smoky bacon, chopped
  • 1 1/2 pounds ground beef chuck
  • Ketchup and mustard
  • 4 10-inch flour tortillas
  • 1 1/2 cups grated sharp cheddar cheese

For garnish:

  • Shredded lettuce
  • Diced vine-ripe tomatoes
  • Chopped pickles

Serves 4-6

Preparation

Heat a large sauté pan over medium-high heat. Add the chopped bacon and cook until crisp; remove to a paper towel-lined plate and pour off some of the bacon fat. To the same sauté pan, add the ground beef, breaking it up into small pieces. After the meat is browned, add the bacon back into the meat and stir in the ketchup and mustard.

Heat a nonstick griddle over medium heat. Meanwhile, build your quesadillas, starting with a tortilla, then adding a layer of shredded cheddar, a layer of the ground beef and bacon, another layer of cheese, then topping with a second flour tortilla. Place on the griddle for 5-10 minutes, or until the tortilla is golden brown and the cheese is melted.

Serve garnished with some lettuce, tomatoes and pickles.

Try it with loose Italian Sausage. Forgo the bacon, use pizza sauce in place of the Catsup & Mustard and shredded Pizza Cheese instead of cheddar.

Also they’re good for breakfast with the bacon mixed with scrambled eggs and used in place of the beef filling. Cut in wedges and provide cups of salsa for dipping.

Milk Chocolate Banana Pudding

image
Total Time: 4 hr 30 min
Prep: 30 min
Inactive: 4 hr
Yield: 8 servings
Level: Intermediate

Ingredients

Milk Chocolate Pastry Cream:
3 cups whole milk
3 ounces good-quality milk chocolate, finely chopped
1 -ounce unsweetened chocolate, finely chopped
6 large egg yolks
1/2 cup sugar
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
12 ounces thin chocolate wafer cookies (recommended: Nabisco)
4 large bananas, peeled and sliced 1/4-inch thick
2 cups sweetened whipped cream
Milk chocolate shavings, for garnish

Directions

Place milk in a medium saucepan and bring to a simmer. Whisk in both chocolates and heat until melted and smooth. Remove from the heat.
Whisk together the yolks, sugar, and cornstarch in a large bowl. Slowly whisk in the chocolate-milk mixture and then return the mixture to the saucepan over medium-high heat and whisk until thickened. Remove from the heat, stir in the vanilla, and transfer to a clean bowl. Place a piece of plastic wrap over the surface of the pastry cream and let cool to room temperature.

Spoon about 1 cup of the pastry cream into a 9 by 13-inch glass dish. Layer the cookies, bananas, and pastry cream in the bowl, ending with the pastry cream. Cover tightly and refrigerate until chilled, at least 4 hours or overnight. Just before serving, spread the whipped cream over the top of the pudding and sprinkle with the chocolate shavings.

Frozen Brownie Sundaes

 

image

 

Total Time: 7 hr 30 min
Prep: 25 min
Inactive: 6 hr 30 min
Cook: 35 min
Yield: 10 to 12 servings
Level: Easy

 

 

 

Ingredients

Brownie layer:
Vegetable oil cooking spray
2 tablespoons water
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 large egg, at room temperature
1 3/4 cups brownie mix (recommended: Duncan Hines Dark Chocolate Fudge)
1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
2 (1.4-ounce) milk chocolate-toffee candy bars, coarsely chopped (recommended: Heath or Skor)

Ice cream layer:
1 pint dulche de leche or caramel ice cream (recommended: Haagen-Dazs), softened

Chocolate layer:
1/3 cup heavy whipping cream
1 3/4 cups milk chocolate chips

Sauce:
1 (12-ounce) bag frozen strawberries, thawed
1/3 cup powdered sugar
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice

Directions

Brownie layer: Put an oven rack in the center of the oven. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Spray an 8 by 8-inch glass baking pan with vegetable oil cooking spray. Line the pan with parchment paper, allowing 2 inches of paper to overhang the sides. Set aside. Spray the parchment paper with vegetable oil cooking spray.

In a large bowl mix together the water, oil and egg. Add the brownie mix and stir until blended. Stir in the chocolate chips and candy bar pieces. Transfer the batter to the prepared baking pan. Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center of the brownies comes out with a few moist crumbs attached, about 20 to 25 minutes. Remove the pan from the oven and cool the brownie layer completely in the pan, about 1 1/2 hours.

Ice cream layer: Using a spatula, spread the softened ice cream on top of the brownie layer and freeze until firm, about 4 hours or overnight.

Chocolate layer: In a small saucepan, heat the cream over medium-low heat until hot but not boiling. Remove the pan from the heat and add the chocolate chips. Stir until the chocolate has melted and the mixture is smooth. Using a spatula, spread the chocolate mixture over the ice cream layer. Freeze for at least 1 hour or until ready to serve.

Sauce: Put the strawberries, sugar and lemon juice in a blender and blend until smooth.

To serve: Remove the layers from the pan and peel away the parchment paper. Cut the layers into squares and drizzle with the strawberry sauce.

 

image

image

image

image

 

image

image

There goes another forest!

image

Live Salmon-Fishing Bear Cam!

Here’s something a little different, which should be good for most of July.  It’s a live webcam of brown bears at Brooks Falls in Katmai National Park, Alaska.  It’s currently the salmon fishing season so, during daylight hours, you should be able to see a few very patient bears waiting for a fish.  Addictive viewing!

Just head to http://www.nps.gov/katm/photosmultimedia/brown-bear-salmon-cam-brooks-falls.htm in your web browser.

image

Dats Just Cool

 

image

Damn! I need to buy this company! Otherwise I’ll go broke buying these pads!

image

 

image

Police: Robbery suspect loses ‘bet’ that victim doesn’t have a gun

Posted: Jun 20, 2014 7:37 AM CST Updated: Jun 22, 2014 11:25 AM CST  Posted by Brad Conaway

JACKSON, MS (Mississippi News Now) -

A man with a gunshot wound was reported, Friday morning, at an apartment complex called the Pines on Watkins Drive; but he wasn’t shot there.

Jackson police say, shortly before that, a guest at a nearby Motel 6 had a run in with the man in the rear parking lot.

They say the guest was approached by a man asking for cigarettes.

The hotel guest said he didn’t have any cigarettes.

The man began to walk away, when , police say, he turned around and said “I bet you don’t have one of these”, pointing a gun in his direction.

The guest did have “one of these,” and began firing at the suspect. He reportedly hit the man at least once.
The shooting victim left and was later picked up by ambulance at the Pines apartments.  

He was hospitalized, but is not being identified at this time.

Right now the man who shot him, a contractor from the coast working in Jackson, is not being charged.  He was protected under Mississippi’s castle law.

The case will still be presented to the Hinds County Jury.

 

BReaking News Special AnnouncementSpecial Announce GRaphic

Actually because I publish on Wednesdays, this one is a day late, which compared the the next one is practically right on time! Late to post or not the wishes are none the less honest or heart felt for the delay. Please join me in wishing a…

image

and now a song about what Impish ahs learned about love and marriage these past 19 years married to Mrs. Dragon-

Now if I might I’d like to talk a minute about this fellow Impish Dragon who conned a gullible fair maiden wooed a fine Irish woman with the strength of his character convincing her all those years ago to marry him. I poke fun at him, I make jokes at his expense, some might even say I bull or pick on Impish at times. Aside from his being such and easy target it being a guy thing for friends to rag on friend I do it to keep from thinking he’s a better man & friend than I. See I discovered something recently about the kind of man Impish really is, the sort that puts his friends before himself. About a month ago he successfully blindsided me with the  4th Anniversary of my involvement with DragonLaffs as a partner in publishing it before it even became the current blog.

Turns out in doing that it cost him a little something to do it. See I happened upon most of my first issues I had squirreled away. I was surprised to see that my 4th post was a Special Edition and opened it to see what it was about since it was in early June. Well it turns out that about 3 or 4 day after I started with DragonLaffs officially it was the 6th Anniversary of it’s inception. That means the Impish chose to celebrate my 4th Anniversary and ignore the  rather more notable 10th Anniversary of DragonLaffs so as not to steal my thunder.

Well there is no thunder to be stolen now except his own so I say…image

image

Lets hope we can double that number before we have to stop. Here’s to working on this another 10 years with you buddy!

image

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Dragon Laffs #1393


Header90
Good Morning Campers!
Happy day. 

Well, for most of you, I hope.  Sadly, I’m at work while most of you are reading this.  But, I’m getting paid overtime, so there are some pluses involved.
I’m also doing double duty here at DL&LL Enterprises while Lethal is off gallivanting around the high-seas, on a well deserved vacation. I’ve been left, if not in charge, then at least nominally, responsible for this place.  Thankfully, the place pretty much runs itself, which is good, cause that leaves us available for the artistic work…Okay, so it leaves us time to screw off and do what we want.  Are you happy Lethal?  <Looking up towards the ceiling to the known “hidden” speakers>  I know you’re listening.  That’s right.  I’m spending my time screwing around!

Dramatic Sigh!

Okay, so I WISH I was screwing off.  In actuality, it’s hard keeping this place going by myself.  But, I am a dragon of means.  And it is working out fine!

Now, let’s get to this!

coollogo_com-16927796Let’s start today with a beautiful video of a girl who wanted nothing more than to be like the other kids and how a special company and the help of her friends made that happen.

But there’s more!

Published on May 4, 2014

UPDATE: if this video gets 1 million views Hanger Clinics will donate another arm to a deserving teenager!! Please share!
Torri’s biggest dreams was to give her dad a hug.
She was born with a right arm that only grew up to her elbow. In the fall of 2013, her high school friends started a campaign called #HandforTorri that they hoped might get the attention of someone who could help. The Buried Life, with the generous support of Invisible Children and Hanger Clinics, were able to come through for Torri.
So now you know.  Send this video to everyone you know.  Here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QV0bdzQRBD8
Let’s help another deserving kid get an arm!  We can help!

And since we’re watching uplifting videos, let’s watch another one.

Best Facebook post ever!  I have no idea why 911 didn’t work, probably too overloaded with the storm, but this worked out for them!

989

 

4

 

 

This is a really, REALLY low pass by and F-16

 

And this is a crash just barely averted.

 

coollogo_com-26562107

DragonPapa1 (263)

 

 

And since we’re making this a video heavy issue, let’s add another video and make it a just a bit heavier.  Here’s a beer commercial that goes away from the normal noisy, goofy bar scenes and plays a wonderful message for the military.

 

 

4a

 

4c

 

This is one of those poster type things that the makeuseof.com website puts out every now and then.  This one I found quite interesting and decided to present it here.  So…. here you go.  I sure learned something.

4b

 

coollogo_com-114071266

Kabuki-029_Brom

 

Women’s survey on size ………. 


Women’s response to … 


2 inches – I can’t even hold it.
3 inches – Never been so unsatisfied
4 inches- I’ve had bigger than it ..
5 inches- Good, but I wish a bit bigger!
6 inches- perfect.
7 inches- Love it.
8 inches – Wow!, but cant have it all.
9 inches – Painful but manageable.
10 inches- Too much pressure on stomach. 


This survey was Customer’s Feedback on different SIZES of Subway Sandwiches.
But I like the way you think!

 

A new benefit for our Veterans.  Who says that the current administration doesn’t give a damn about our Vets?  This just proves how wrong they are!!

It’s provided by Obamacare;
under “Physical Therapy for Veterans”

4e

The pool also comes with a lid for covering when not in use.  Portable for placement in the sun if you like the water a little warmer or in the shade if cooler water is desired!  This Obamacare is really great !

Motivational2

success

shes

remember

Prize

portland

 

 

Supermoon due Saturday; 3 expected this summer

This could be really cool.  I’m hoping to get some pictures.  If so, you’ll see them Here!
4f

The tremendous size of the “supermoon” could be appreciated as it appeared last May behind the colossal statue of Christ of the Andes in Brazil. AP File Photo

NEW YORK >> The full moon on Saturday will appear to be unusually big. In fact, it will be a “supermoon.”

That’s the nickname for full moons that happen when our celestial neighbor is relatively close to Earth. That distance varies because the moon follows an elliptical orbit. When it’s close and full, it appears bigger and brighter than normal, although in fact the difference can be hard to detect.

If you see Saturday’s moon close to the horizon it may seem huge, but that’s just an illusion caused by its position in the sky.

Two other full moons this summer, on Aug. 10 and Sept. 9, are also supermoons.

It’s not all that unusual to have a supermoon. There were three in a row last year.

Okay, here’s mine, but it’s not that good…
DSC00859

 

4d

 

This clip is GREAT!  It’s a 43 second commercial and you don’t know until the very end that you even know who the sponsor is.  Have fun.

 

4g

5a

990

992

995

 

Some really outstanding inventions…and a couple of goofy ones. 

996

coollogo_com-83394237

Today’s Last Word is a little different…short, sweet and to the point.
Thanks to Dad for sending this my way.

*THE DEBT CEILING *
I love it when a complicated situation can be explained in such simple
terms!

* Democrats don’t understand THE DEBT CEILING
* Republicans don’t understand THE DEBT CEILING
* Liberals don’t understand THE DEBT CEILING
* NO ONE understands THE DEBT CEILING

** SO, allow me to explain. *
Let’s say you come home from work and find there has been a sewer backup in
your neighborhood.
Your home has sewage all the way up to your ceiling.

*What do you think you should do — *
1.  raise the ceiling, or
2.  pump out the shit?

*Your choice is coming in November**!*

Need I say more?

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Leprechaun Laughs # 254 for July 9th 2014


image

A semi confused Impish Dragon stands at the podium as you wander in and make your way to the craft table to obtain your free caffeine and sugar fixes before finding a chair.

Impish: “Anyone happen across Lethal on your way here? No? How about you in the back with the half mast fly? Obviously you’re just out of the restroom or a pervert. Since I’m know to eat perverts will assume the former for the moment. Any chance he’s still in there? No? Empty when you left you say?” Well I’m not sure what’s doing exactly folks. I got a note on my breakfast virgin from him saying that his issue was all set and that when you were all here if he wasn’t I should push the big green button on the podium. I dunno what good that’s going to do us but here goes”

Impish pushes the button. The lights start to dim whirring noises can be heard as behind him a screen begins to drop, curtains to either side of it part to revel speakers and in the back of the room a projector drops from one of the ceiling tiles.

The screen lights up with snow and static is heard from the speakers. Then a blinking message appears “Syncing to satellite please wait” it blinks several times then shifts from red to orange repeating as it shifts orange to yellow and finally then to green.

Suddenly you see the picture above and hear Lethal’s somewhat wind swept voice.

Lethal: Greetings from no Impish I’m not telling you where. I’m currently aboard one of my yacht’s toys a Catamaran called the ‘Sultry Selkie’. Sorry about the view but the satellite is so low on the horizon were so in the middle of nowhere that I had to climb the main mast with my sat phone to get a signal! Still with those 4 beauties lounging down there the view isn’t all bad right?

Oh! Speaking of those beauties, Impish I forgot to mention I borrowed a few of your virgins for companionship. I’ll return them in about a week an nice and browned up and tasting of coconut and ginger.

Anyhow- After 3 issues in a week for Memorial Day and another 3 in a week for Independence Day, hustling all weekend for the Independence Day BBQ while listening to Impish constantly whine about Sister Mary Stigmata whom we flew in from Our Lady of the Blessed Shroud Orphanage to ride heard on him so you folks could get something to eat and drink I decided I need a getaway from it all break. Something to recharge my green batteries as it were. I’m taking a few days off but I will see you next week at our regular time.

Mean time if you’ll push the blinking yellow button on the podium Impish everyone can get started on the issue. That’s all from- yeah you WISH I’d tell you Impish!

As the screen dissolves back into snow a blinking red message appears “Video signal lost”. A split second after a distantly heard Lethal yelling at the top of his lungs “CANNON BAAAAALLLLL!!!!!” is heard fading out there is a loud pop and the screen no shows two lines alternating the second reading “audio signal lost”.  Impish waddles back to the podium grumbling under his breath about how unfair it is that Lethal wouldn’t tell him where he is so that he could join him. He fumbles about a bit then grunts in apparent satisfaction when suddenly the lights start to come back up and the A/V equipment begins retracting. A few of you get up to freshen your coffee and discover the craft table appears to have been licked clean.

When the sudden surprise wears off you turn around to see the last of Impish’s tail hurriedly disappearing through the door.

 

LEt's Roll 25

image

Party has been over since sundown on Sunday! You stragglers got until noon to clear out before I declare you all  party leftovers and set Impish loose on you! He’s already complained that Sister Mary Stigmata [ok that’s her second mention this issue plus once for Impish on Saturday, anybody care to take on that gratuitous movie reference in the comments?] limited him to 3 helpings of everything all weekend.

Capture u

Besides that I’m pretty sure he’s about had it with being asked to flame broil burgers and such for you people. He’s cranky hungry and not too particular about who/what he’s dining on today. So lurk at your own peril!

image

image

Otis Redding – (Sittin’ On) The Dock Of The Bay

 

TTT-1

Stop apps from stealing your information online

Put a stop to this information-gathering right now with MyPermissions. This program is a secure add-on to your browser that will scan the apps attached to your online accounts and tell you what they access.

MyPermissions details what these apps have access to, so you can see exactly what they’re doing with your contacts, media, emails and more.

Don’t want that old Facebook game having access to your information? You can easily select the app and delete it. Or, if there’s an app that you use and enjoy, like Waze or Pinterest, you can add them to your list of trusted apps.

There’s also an app version of MyPermissions available for your smartphone or tablet to take care of the apps you’ve downloaded.

The MyPermissions browser add-on is available for Chrome, Firefox, Safari and Internet Explorer. To download the add-on, navigate to the MyPermissions home page using the link below.

Click on the orange download button in the center of the MyPermissions homepage and you will be prompted to add this free download to your browser.

After you have added MyPermissions to your browser, you must sign up with a valid email address to create a MyPermissions account. This is to keep your account secure with a password and to email you in the event of an update or problem.

Once MyPermissions is installed, you must make sure that you’re signed in to your social media accounts for MyPermissions to be able to scan them.

You can manage the app settings by opening the MyPermissions settings and changing whatever you need. If you want to uninstall the app, simply right-click the app icon and select “Uninstall.”

Download for Chrome – Free

Download for Firefox – Free

Download for Internet Explorer – Free

Download for iOS – Free

Download for Android – Free

image

Bryan Adams – Summer of 69

 

Mail

This week I got one of the best submissions I’ve gotten from a reader in a good long while. It’s comes from Gailwynds331 who writes:

okay my friend, I know you don’t want me to send political stuff but you have to listen to this woman.  she’s awesome

Click here: Ozzie Saffa: I bet she regrets asking her question

OUTSTANDING! She is indeed awesome! I wish more Muslims and disgruntled immigrants got taken to [old] school publically like this. Slapped down hard with facts, pointed at the nearest border and sped on their way with the help of a boot applied energetically to where they sit!

 

Limerick 2

While certainly (slowed) down for a while due to her post accident injuries Diaman is by no means willing to be counted out! She sends us these Limericks for your enjoyment.

There was a young lady named Hilda
Who went driving one night with a builda.
He said that he should
That he could and he would,
And he did and it pretty near killda.
*****
I have been on dozens of larks;
I like it indoors, not in parks.
You feel more at ease,
Your ass doesn’t freeze;
And strollers don’t make snide remarks.
*****
A broken-down lecher named Tupps
Was heard to confess in his cups:
“The height of my folly
Was diddling a collie -
But I got a nice price for the pups.”
*****
There was a young fellow named Lancelot
Whom his neighbors all looked on askance a lot.
Whenever he’d pass
A presentable lass,
The front of his pants would advance a lot.
*****
There was a young harlot from Kew
Who filled her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin,
“If they pay to get in,
They’ll pay to get out of it, too.”
*****
There was a young fellow named Bliss
Whose sex life was strangely amiss,
For even with Venus
His recalcitrant penis
Would seldom do better than
t
h
i
s.
*****
There was a young fellow named Skinner
Who took a young lady to dinner.
They started to dine
At a quarter past nine -
And at twenty to ten it was in ‘er.
The dinner? No, Skinner.
Skinner was in ‘er BEFORE dinner.
*****
There was a young fellow named Tupper
Who took a young lady to supper.
They sat down to dine
At a quarter to nine,
And at twenty to ten it was up ‘er.
Not the supper – not Tupper –
it was some son-of-a-bitch named
Skinner!
*****
There was a young plumber named Lee
Who plumbed his girl down by the sea;
Said the lady, “Stop plumbing!
I hear someone coming.”
Said the plumber, still plumbing, “That’s me.”
*****
A newlywed couple from Goshen
Spent their honeymoon sailing the ocean.
In twenty-eight days
They screwed eighty ways -
Imagine such fucking devotion!
*****
There once was a nervous young Finn,
Who had barely begun to get in
To a lady he knew,
When her husband said “Boo!”
And he damned near jumped out of her skin.

image_thumb11 

From what I can see of it dat’s one heck of a beauty holdin’ dat beer too!

!cid_1_475451615@web36902_mail_mud_yahoo

image

Folks I’m doing something I rarely do, other than to Molly- I’m offering you a personal Leprechaun Apology for leading you astray. For about as long as I have been doing Independence Day Special Issues I have been pushing a PBS program known as ‘A Capitol 4th’. I will be doing this no longer and apologize to you all for having promoted it and thereby possibly subjecting you to some of the worst PBS programing it has ever been my misfortune to come across.

Barry Bostwick hosted during several consecutive years prior to 2006, when Jason Alexander hosted. The following year, Tony Danza served as host, and Jimmy Smits hosted for the following four years. However since that host of what I term Stupidity TV  grinning moron Tom Bergeron took over in 2012, its gone down faster than Congress’ approval rating.

It was the 200th Anniversary of the adoption of the Star Spangled Banner as our National Anthem and the best they could muster was a near to death lackluster Frankie Valli who put on a performance that was (embarrassment wise at least) on par with the Stones Super Bowl performance of several years ago. The trade mark falsetto was even false in its attempts.

The remaining  acts were all unknowns. No representation by the Congressional of Executive Branch, Military presence as compared to years past was subdued almost to the point of being cursory with not a single Flag Rank Officer present. One should think, that given the fact it was written about the Shelling of a US Coastal Defense Installation that some level of Senor Ranking Officer should/would be present.

They cut 1/2 an hour from it so they glossed over the Fireworks with music and singing having them in the background 1/2 the time. This is not the quality production one has come to expect from PBS at all. Miscues were readily evident everything felt unpolished and rushed. You hardly saw anything of the fireworks and the entire pyrotechnic portion was severely disappointing. in fact It was so bad we elected to bail on it and switched to the Macy’s New York Celebration.

Ladies and Gentleman, I would like to offer my sincere honest and heartfelt apology to those of you who watch ‘A Capitol 4th’ for causing you to waste an hour and a half of your lives you can never get back.

The Boys of Summer by Don Henley

 

bacon-1-600x1504

Uh huh. So it turns out that ‘bacon is bad for you’ is the kitchen equivalent of ‘global warming’… all bullshit. Color me surprised <= (last line is in the yet invented sarcasm font)

ham string pull

image

Yup dat’s muh mitt. Yup I bought and ate dat. Damned Skippy it was good! Salt & Pepper grilled shrimp bacon lettuce tomato onion warm home style flour tortilla  grilled slightly crispy after painting it w/ a little melted garlic butter. To think some people say food trucks are all bad!

ANYWAY!- Molly has been watching a lot of a show called The Hungry Girl recently and has gotten interested in using Eggroll wrappers in place of pasta. Last year we did a feature on egg roll wrapper lasagna cups and recently a chicken pot pie one. I thought I’d feature a few more innovative uses/recipes

Apple Pie Egg Rolls

Like McDonalds Hot Apple Pies? These are cheaper and way better for you!

Yield: 12 Apple Pie Egg Rolls

Apple Pie Egg Rolls

Ingredients

    Filling

  • 3 cups apples, peeled and diced (approx. 3 apples)
  • 4 tablespoons sugar
  • 4 teaspoons flour
  • 3/4 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon lemon juice

    Other

  • 12 Egg Roll Wrappers
  • Oil for Frying

Instructions

  1. Combine all filling ingredients and mix well.
  2. Place 2 heaping tablespoons of filling in the center of each wrapper. Fold in the sides and roll the wrapper tightly. Use a dab of water to secure the tip of the wrapper.

    Note: It is important to make sure the sides of the wrapper are tucked in holding the ingredients in. If they leak, it can cause splattering.

  3. Preheat oil to 350 degrees. Fry each egg roll for about 4-5 minutes or until browned and crispy.
  4. Sprinkle with powdered sugar and serve warm.

 

Italian Egg Rolls

Italian Egg Rolls

1 lb ground turkey sausage
1 medium onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
10 oz box frozen spinach, thawed and drained
1/4 t freshly ground nutmeg
Salt and pepper
1 15 oz container of part-skim ricotta cheese
1/2 C freshly shredded Parmesan 
1 C shredded mozzarella
1 package egg roll wrappers
1 egg, beaten (used for the “glue” on the egg rolls)
Canola or vegetable oil for frying
Grated Parmesan cheese for topping
Marinara sauce, warmed
Heat a skillet over medium heat. Add sausage and onion and cook for a few minutes. Add the garlic and spinach; stir and add nutmeg, salt and pepper. Sauté until sausage is cooked through. Remove from heat and cool. Stir in ricotta, mozzarella and Parmesan.
Heat the oil for frying in a skillet. Meanwhile, start filling your wrappers.
Place about 1/4 cup of filling on a wrapper with a corner facing you. Use the beaten egg as the glue for the egg rolls and “paint” it on the top sides.
Fold the bottom corner up and the side corners in.

Roll up the egg roll and place on a baking sheet or plate. Repeat for all egg rolls. Place 3-4 egg rolls in the pan of oil at a time. It is important to not place too many in the pan at a time. Cook them for 3-4 minutes or until golden brown. Remove with tongs and place them on a plate covered in paper towels to drain. Immediately sprinkle with grated Parmesan so it will stick. If cutting in half, allow to cool first.

Heat the marinara sauce; serve.

 

image

His first hint should have been when I said ‘I can set up up’ not ‘I can hook you up’. As for the beard he’s just mad hers is better looking then his (she braids it) and not salt and pepper (mostly salt).

SIGH!

Good thing he never learns though or I’s be out half my jokes!

Summer Love – Grease

 

J.K. Rowling pens short story about grown up Harry Potter

The story finds a 33-year-old Potter attending the Quidditch World Cup final with some of his old Hogwarts classmates.

By Veronica Linares   |   July 8, 2014 at 9:50 AM   |

LONDON, July 8 (UPI) –J.K. Rowling has written a new short story about the adventures of a grown up Harry Potter.

The narrative was posted to Rowling’s website Pottermore as a Daily Prophet piece writhed by gossip journalist character Rita Skeeter.

The story finds a 33-year-old Potter attending the Quidditch World Cup final with some of his old Hogwarts classmates. Rowling, 48, has been posting a series of Quidditch World Cup pieces on her website ever since the FIFA World Cup began in Brazil in June.

The new tale also features other beloved characters from the seven-book saga like Ron Weasley, his wife Hermione Granger, Potter’s wife Ginny Weasley and both couples’ children.

Users have to be logged into Pottermore.com to read the story.

You’ll probably want to set down someplace comfy with a nice Bubble or Pumpkin Juice, Butterbeer or Gillywater and catch a Quidditch Match rerun of your favorite  house’s team while you wait to be allowed in once you sign up. It took me almost 2 hours to get my confirmation email as they are quite swamped with sign ups at the moment

radass-daily-027

radass-daily-118

image

image

WATCH OUT BOYS & GIRLS! Someone lit my (short) fuse with a flamethrower!

Veteran dies in VA hospital cafeteria, waiting for ambulance to ER

A veteran who collapsed in an Albuquerque Veteran Affairs hospital cafeteria 500 yards from the emergency room, died Monday, June 30, 2014, after waiting 30 minutes for an ambulance, officials confirmed Thursday. Officials at the hospital said it took a half an hour for the ambulance to be dispatched and take the man from one building to the other, which is about a five minute walk.

http://www.registercitizen.com/general-news/20140704/veteran-dies-in-va-hospital-cafeteria-waiting-for-ambulance-to-er

I’m not going to reprint the article, follow the link if you wish to read more, my stomach and blood pressure can’t stand much more of this subject and then I’d have to go to the VA and they’d have a shot at killing me too.

What I will do is state that IMO:

There is absolutely NO acceptable reason/possible justification WHATSOEVER for this blatant case of depraved indifference.

A veteran obviously one in need of serious and immediate medical help reached the Medical Facility, he by right of his military service, was entitled to use with the reasonable expectation of receiving competent care and reasonably timely attention to his medical needs….. and then he was the victim of wanton neglect by the VA staff.

The fault however this time does not lay solely with the VA staff but also with the responding (at least they were SUPPOSED to be responding) ambulance service as well.

VA spokeswoman Sonja Brown said “Staff followed policy in calling 911 when the man collapsed on Monday, she said. “Our policy is under expedited review,” That policy is a local one, she said.

Well (pardon me ladies) SODDIN’ BLOODY WELL PISS ON THAT! Bullocks to an ‘Internal Review’- that’s political speak for blame shifting and white wash!

What is needed here is an independent full investigation on multiple levels Local (possibly) but certainly at a minimum State and Federal. levels 

LAWS, CODES OF ETHICS & RULES OF CONDUCT (to say nothing of the Hippocratic Oath) WERE BROKEN HERE PEOPLE!!

The State of New Mexico has a Department and within that Department an Office whose sole responsibility is the management and oversight of Ambulance Services- both Commercial and Volunteers EMTs and Paramedics. The exact department and the name of the office vary state to state I know in Connecticut when I was involved there it it was the State of Connecticut Department of Emergency Management and Public Protection as it is now know and the Office of Emergency Medical Services specifically within that Department. There are maximum response time requirements and strict guide lines about what to do in the event you cannot met those requirements. These appear to possibly have been ignored .

Politicians are quick to to appoint Investigative Committees, Special Judicial Panels, Special Prosecutors, Task Forces and Czars for what ever they deem in their best interest[s]. WELL ITS BLOODY WELL HIGH TIME THEY APPOINTED ONE BECAUSE ITS IN THE BEST FECKING INTEREST OF ALL THE AMERICAN MILITARY VETERANS!!

There are serious questions here that are simply beyond the scope and permissibility of an ‘In House Review’

1) Why did it take 20 minutes for an Ambulance to respond? Was it not phoned in/dispatched as an Emergency? With which side does the fault lay and with whom exactly?  Is/are that/those Person[s] guilty of depraved indifference or culpable negligence? IF there is reasonable evidence there is than it should be presented to a grand jury. If it is the Ambulance Service’s fault then those responsible for not passing the call to a less busy service need to be disciplined by the State of New Mexico with regard to licenses and certification regardless of any criminal or civil charges.

2) Why was the patient not kept where he could be monitored and observed instead of sent to the Cafeteria of all places? I have NEVER EVER heard of an Ambulance Service picking up their transfer/transport patient in the HOSPITAL’S CAFETERA !!

Had he been where he SHOULD have been and monitored by medical personnel knowledgeable  regarding his case they could have made a determination that other movement/transport options needed to be utilized and saved his life!

3) What exactly are these Albuquerque Veteran Affairs Hospital’s ‘local policies’ and in whose best interest are they? The Patient’s or the VA’s?

UNLESS THESE AND OTHER QUESTIONS ARE ASKED AND SATISFACTORY ANSWERS OBTAINED BY PEOPLE OUTSIDE TO THE DEPARTMENT OF VETERAN AFFAIRS THIS SORT OF INDIFFERENT TREATMENT WILL ONLY CONTINUE!!

You know when I was going over what I was going to say here in my head over the holiday weekend I had a bit of an epiphany. The choice of graphic for todays Parting Shot header reflects that revelation.

You see I understand now why the Military has been disarmed on US bases, why these known whack jobs are allowed to run around on bases until they kill service personnel, but on the flip side Janet Napolitano can call honorably Veterans ‘Home Grown Terrorists’ and a threat to the Nation, why the VA is disrespecting our Dead & their families at their cemeteries to say nothing of using their medical facilities to kill us off and put us in those cemeteries.

See its quite simple, as much as the Liberals will tell you otherwise they are extremely aware that Politicians govern us only at our sufferance and that we can remove them and in fact dismantle the entire government should we so desire!

DON’T YOU GET IT YET?! The Government (read that liberal socialists in power and pulling the strings behind the scenes like George Soros) ARE in fact AFRAID OF THE PEOPLE particularly the Military and former Military which is to say the Veterans and future Veterans!

THAT is why the restriction on Assault Rifles & high capacity magazines!

THAT is why the military has been disarmed on US soil.

THAT is why Veterans are receiving substandard care is dirty ramshackle facilities with out of date equipment.

THAT is why it currently takes 18 months to two years to process an application for VA benefits!

BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT IS TRYING TO RENDER US A NONTHREAT TO THEM BECAUSE THEY UNDERSTAND THAT WE WOULD FORM THE CORE OF ANY SIGNIFICANT THREAT TO THEIR DISTRUCTION OF THE CONSTITUTION, MISUSE OF EXECTUIVE ORDERS AND OTHER OPPRESSIVE BIG BROTHER (think NSA PRISM spying) BEHAVIORS designed to force us into a socialist form of government! 

image

{This Reminder Brought to You by Special Reader Request]

Obama's Enemy List

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Dragon Laffs #1392


Header89

Good Morning Campers!  Well, the start of the weekend party was great!  The firework display was awesome.  It was indeed a grand first day.
How about Lethal’s Independence Day issue, yesterday?  Wasn’t that something?  Personally, I believe it was the best holiday issue he has ever presented us with.  Thank you my friend for your hard work and determination in presenting us with this great issue.  If you haven’t given it a star rating yet, go back right now and give it a rating. 

I’ll wait.

Whistling behind the podium. 

Pulls out cell phone and checks messages.

“Geez, who the heck is this Director Fury who keeps texting me?”

“Let’s see, yes to poker on Tuesday with the Latin Pantheon, Lucifer took too much of my gold last week.”

Puts phone away.  Okay, everybody back? 

Good, now where was I?

Oh yeah.  The weekend party.  I’d love to sit here and tell you all about it, but my guardian nun, Sister Mary Stigmata is going on break and she’s been keeping me from the more fun activities, plus I’m STARVING.  She won’t let me have more than thirds of ANYTHING!! Gosh! 

Anyway, I’ve got to take advantage of the situation when it presents itself.

So, ….

coollogo_com-6522283

975

We interrupt this Dragon Laffs issue for a special announcement…
1

Reliable investigative sources in California say that radical Muslims are planning to go on a rampage in the City of Los Angeles, killing anyone who is a U.S. citizen.

Police fear the death toll could be as high as 9.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled e-zine…

977

Okay, so that was pretty bad, I know.  I feel so ashamed.  ashamed2

Not only am I not sure WHY you’d want to do this, but I don’t even know that I have ever even considered doing this…but I guess somebody had to, so here you go.  What happens when you crack an egg underwater.

1

DragonPapa1 (262)

 

As a sort of history buff, I found this behind the scenes video of the Alamo quite interesting.

Having been to the Alamo and walked the grounds, and having been to San Antonio and walked the River Walk, I have no doubt, that I will pick up a copy of this book and do the whole tour, the right way, the next time I’m there.

978

979

Oh my goodness.  And I thought I was the only one who did stuff like that. 

 

Ten things you didn’t know about the internet.  Ten things I didn’t know about the internet.  Well, some of it I did know, and I’m betting that some of it you knew.  So maybe it should be ten things someone didn’t know about the internet.
5

980

The times sure have changed!  At an incredible pace!

 

coollogo_com-83581496

f2009081401

 

Thanks to Chris Wallace for throwing the bullshit flag!

Chris Wallace Confronts Dem Congressman on Obama’s Executive Actions: Is He Rewriting The Law?

It astounds me how many people have drank this devil’s kool-aid!

Things got heated on “Fox News Sunday” when host Chris Wallace forcefully demanded answers on the questionable executive actions of President Barack Obama from California Democratic Rep. Xavier Becerra.

In a segment that also featured Republican Rep. Bob Goodlatte, Wallace discussed Speaker of the House John Boehner’s recent lawsuit against the Obama administration over the actions it has taken without congressional approval.

After listing off specific actions the administration has taken without Congress — including deferred deportations and raising the minimum wage for federal contractors — Wallace turned to Becerra and asked, “What is the president’s legal authority to take all of these unilateral actions without going back to Congress?”

The California lawmaker responded that all of these actions met with popular approval and the American public wanted to see these things happen. “The list you showed are all things the American public wants to see.”

Becerra then tried to explain how the president decided to take action since Congress wasn’t doing “its job.” This prompted the Fox host to cut him off before he finished his statement to state that the Constitution does not grant power based on popularity.

“The Constitution does not say ‘Hey if it’s popular, you can exceed your authority.’ It’s kind of irrelevant,” Wallace said over a razzled Becerra.

Becerra restored his composure and went on to focus on the issue of raising the minimum wage for federal contractors as a justifiable action for the president. This didn’t satisfy Wallace and he repeated his original question that he felt Becerra was sidestepping.

“What is his legal authority for taking this action without going back to Congress?” Wallace repeated.

“The president has the authority — as the executive — to implement the laws,” Becerra answered. “If there is a law that says that we will pay a federal contractor money, the president can say ‘OK, federal contractors, you can’t gouge your workers because you’re getting federal taxpayer money to do the work.”

Wallace quickly shot back “But is he implementing the law?”

“Absolutely, he’s implementing the law,” the California congressman responded.

“Or is he rewriting the law?” Wallace prodded.

“No, he’s not rewriting it because he is simply implementing it,” Becerra said.

 

 

Props to Chris!  We need to scream it from the roof tops!  If you don’t like what congress is doing, you can’t just do what you want to anyway!  That’s NOT the way a Republic works.  That’s the way a dictatorship works.  OPEN YOUR EYES!

Thanks to Ginny for sharing this.  I’ll let her tell you about it…

I watched this through some tears…SUPERB commercial!

 

Maybe the best commercial ever filmed and not a word is spoken..VERY SHORT Food City, a Food Chain, is located in the Southeast, headquartered in Bristol, TN.  This is a great commercial.

Not a word spoken, and none needed.  Very few commercials deserve to go viral.  This one does.

 

Take 1 minute to watch this very special video.

 

 

Those of you who know my Dad, aka Papa Dragon Most Senior is a musician of stellar quality.  I wish I had a copy of some of his music that I could share with you.  I’ll work on getting some.  I maybe able to do so before this issue goes to press.  Anyway, this is a video that Dad sent to me about a guy who made a clarinet out of a carrot.  And the big thing is how good is sounds.
Watch this:

It’s time for another golf joke.  We go out of our way to present these because we know so many of you out there are golfers…

Fred decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. 

 

One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his golf shoes. His wife was standing there watching him. 

 

After a long period of silence she finally speaks.  “Honey, I’ve been thinking, now that we are married I think it’s time you quit golfing. Maybe you should sell your clubs.”

Fred gets this horrified look on his face.

She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?”

Fred Says, ”There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.”

“Ex wife!” she screams, “I didn’t know you were married before!”

”I wasn’t!“

982

981

 

AHA!!!!  I actually found an old CD of one of my Dad’s many bands.  Put it into a video style and uploaded it to youtube!  I can now, quite proudly and with tears in my eyes, present to you, My Dad’s awesome talent…
Here is The Freestyle Band Playing the Basin Street Blues!

 

 

coollogo_com-14435970

4o

That’s got to be ice…and they had to have slid that in there…that’s all I got.  That’s all I can figure out.  You got something better?

 

4p

Okay, so this one has to be a back lot picture of the Godzilla movie.  No?  Tornado? 

 

4q

This one I got.  It’s a simple skateboarding accident.  It’s nothing more than a big skateboard anyway.

 

4r

Transformers!  More than meets the eye! Looks more like Transformer sex gone bad.

 

4s

Okay, you got me.  I have no idea how the hell this happened!!!!

 

Wheats

My buddy Wheats, I got one thing to say on this rant…. you NAILED IT!!!

Obama has shown nothing but disdain for our system.

 

“The Constitution is a document of negative rights”
(where the hell did that come from?)

 

Doesn’t like the construct of how it all works, checks and balances and….

AND…..

 

Even when he’s largely getting his way, as we Americans see it, he still whines and complains.

“I wish I could just wave a pen and make it happen, but we have this thing called congress”

 

One of his more revealing statements which uncovered his irritation (yet again) with the system.

 

His uptake seems to be that “correct” government is that one person, acting alone, on the behalf of a minority, that is, a small group of people that hold one particular view, should be able to upend and usurp the desires and needs of the majority in order to attain (ugh), dare I say it, “fairness”.

 

Hey, president pants-on-fire, life is not fair. Never has been, never will be. There is no government system that will make it that way but the representative republic is the closest thing we’ve come to. It’s not perfect. Nothing ever can be.

The PEOPLE are not a collection of bugs in a jar for you to take out your magnifying glass and roast them at will when one of them displeases you.

 

The PEOPLE are a collection of different attitudes, positions, experiences, knowledge, etc that, when put together for a common cause for everyone, wonderful things can happen.

 

I think we can agree on that.

 

Where we disagree, hugely I might add, is that you think to get there, the government must control the means of production, the availability of goods and services and the outcome of the production.

 

That’s called fascism, dear boy, look it up. It’s a close cousin to socialism and communism.

 

Doesn’t work.

 

Been tried and is in-progress to this day, failing.

 

See:

USSR
Cuba
Argentina
Vietnam
North Korea

and pretty much the rest of the world with minor exception.

 

Or, is it that you just like the mechanism to break the bank and empty the coffers to knock the US down a few notches?

 

Or is it a little of both because, well, I don’t think you’re all that clever, nor very bright. This cleverness and intelligence has been awarded to you by journalists whose main accomplishment is reading/writing formulaic crapola put out by the AP wire.

Seems odd that a collection of idiots such as that hold you in such high regard. Makes me also wonder about the value of the sheepskin I have on my own wall.

 

However, you’ve gone about your business and you feel pretty confident that they’ll keep covering for you. So go ahead, danger-boy…keep it up. And we’ll all watch and listen as it falls to sh*t at your feet, like the middle east is doing right now.

 

Like the immigration debacle is right now.

 

Like the VA scandal is right now

 

Like the IRS scandal is right now.

 

It’s all you, barry-me-boyo. If this is what you desired, which I think it is, then you’ve succeeded.

 

I believe you entered the office an angry, petulant little boy in a man’s body and said so in 2009. I believe your goal was to get away with the biggest political tantrum in this nation’s history and you’ve done it and are continuing to do it.

 

You want destruction. You want disaster. You want the world to feel the pain you have in not being able to have a father, the derision your peers gave you when you were a useless twig-boy smoking dope to escape from reality and you’re mad as hell and taking it out on the entire planet.

 

Your legacy will be that of the worst and most vile president this nation has ever had. History will not be kind to you. This is the justice which you seek, Mr Obama.

 

You earned it.

5i

Sadly, that’s so true in many neighborhoods.  You know the ones.  The ones where gun control is so strong and should be an example to the rest of the country…like Chicago, Washington D. C….

More bullshit from Chief of Staff, the head honcho, the man who can’t be touched…

Obama Mocks GOP: ‘So Sue Me’

President Barack Obama mocked what he described as a do-nothing Congress Tuesday, saying he won’t apologize for taking executive actions on political issues without the legislative branch  —  and defiantly daring them: “So sue me.”

“As long as they insist on taking no action whatsoever that will help anybody, I’m going to keep on taking actions on my own that can help the middle class, like the actions I’ve already taken to speed up construction projects and attract new manufacturing jobs and lift workers’ wages and help students pay off their student loans,” Obama told a Department of Transportation gathering on Washington’s Key Bridge. 
Don’t worry Mr. Obama.  They will sue you.  They’ll impeach you.  You will go down in history as the worst president of all time.
That is…

If there is any justice in the world.

I guess we’ll see.  For the rest of the article and the video, click the link below.

Read Latest Breaking News from Newsmax.com http://www.newsmax.com/Newsfront/obama-mocks-sue-me/2014/07/01/id/580385#ixzz36RWwgNC4 
Urgent: Should Obamacare Be Repealed?
 Vote Here Now!

 

Here’s a preview of one of the magicians we will be featuring at an upcoming picnic here at the DL&LL Electronic Media Resort and Office Complex.  And you don’t think we bring you quality entertainment?  You tell me, where’d the case of beer go?
It’s magic!

5a

The worst part is they are teaching their kid that it’s alright to steal.  Just not to get caught!  I hope she’s rotting her ass in jail!  and the kid is in child protective custody.

 

President Obama says we should create harmony by learning Arabic…

 

We might as well ALL get on the band wagon.

 

The current administration wants us to learn more about Muslims and accept them into our culture.

 

So, I’m making a sincere effort to learn to communicate with our Muslim friends and learn Arabic for the sake of ‘cultural diversity.’

 

This is my first attempt.

 

                                         clip_image001

And if you don’t think that’s funny or it’s not nice?
coollogo_com-114201216

983

————————-
Janitor or Millionaire
————————-

Closer Than You Think!

An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitude test (Section: Floors, sweeping and cleaning).

After the test, the manager says, “You will be employed at minimum wage, $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you a form to complete and tell you where to report for work on your first day. Taken aback, the man protests that he has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the MS manager replies, “Well, then, that means that you virtually don’t exist and can therefore hardly expect to be employed.

Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having only $10 in his wallet, he decides to buy a 25 lb flat of tomatoes at the supermarket. Within less than 2 hours, he sells all the tomatoes individually at 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 before going to sleep that night. And thus it dawns on him that he could quite easily make a living selling tomatoes. Getting up early every day and going to bed late, he multiplies his profits quickly.

After a short time he acquires a cart to transport several dozen boxes of tomatoes, only to have to trade it in again so that he can buy a pick-up truck to support his expanding business. By the end of the second year, he is the owner of a fleet of pick-up trucks and manages a staff of a hundred former unemployed people, all selling tomatoes.

Planning for the future of his wife and children, he decides to buy some life insurance. Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. At the end of the telephone conversation, the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically. When the man replies that he has no e-mail, the adviser is stunned, “What, you don’t have e-mail? How on earth have you managed to amass such wealth without the Internet, e-mail and e-commerce? Just imagine where you would be now, if you had been connected to the Internet from the very start!”

After a moment of thought, the tomato millionaire replied, “Why, of course! I would be a floor cleaner at Microsoft!”

Moral of this story:

1. The Internet, e-mail and e-commerce do not need to rule your life.
2. If you don’t have e-mail, but work hard, you can still become a millionaire.
3. Since you got this story via e-mail, you’re probably closer to becoming a janitor than you are to becoming a millionaire.
4. If you do have a computer and e-mail, you have already been taken to the cleaners by Microsoft.

984

Talk about being a safe distance away…you’d think these guys were safe.

Almost too close!

 

coollogo_com-72695126

WTF

It’s gotta be because she doesn’t have a helmet.  Yeah, that’s it.

 

trips

tricks

Today

suspicion

Good Old American Management

The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race.  Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day they felt ready.

The Japanese won by a mile.

Afterward, the American team was discouraged by the loss.  Morale sagged.  Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.

The consultant’s finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had two people rowing and seven people steering.

After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team.  The cost of the study drove the project over budget, so the corporation laid off one of the rowers to make the project leaner, to increase the cost effectiveness of the project, and to illustrate to the stockholders that the corporation was willing to make tough corrective decisions. The management team asked the remaining rower to practice weekends and holidays to compensate.

As race day neared again the following year, the American team’s management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.

On this race, the Japanese won by TWO miles!!

Humiliated, the American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.

985

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems.

Finally, the other man said, “You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation. A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter, and we got married. Later my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter my stepmother and my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law.

“Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half-brother because he was my father’s son, but he was also the son of my wife’s daughter, which made him my wife’s grandson. That made me the grandfather of my half-brother.

“This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother. This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father’s wife. I’m my stepmother’s brother-in-law, my wife is her own child’s aunt, my son is my father’s nephew and I’m my own grandfather!

“And you think you have family problems!”

I know this guy.  He’s actually a dragon in his “other” life and this kind of a situation is not that unusual in the long lived. 

 

986

Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up.  He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it’s a law of nature of the universe that buttered toast always falls butter-down.  So he rushes round to the presbytery to fetch Father Flanagan. He tells the priest that a miracle has occurred in his kitchen.  But he won’t say what it is, so he asks Father Flanagan to come and see it with his own eyes.

 

He leads Father Flanagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor.

 

“Well,” says the priest, “it’s pretty obvious.  Someone has dropped some buttered toast on the floor and then, for some reason, they flipped it over so that the butter was on top.”

 

“No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that!” exclaimed Murphy.

 

“Oh my Lord,” says Father Flanagan, “dropped toast never falls with the butter side up.  It’s a miracle¦. Wait … it’s not for me to say it’s a miracle.  I’ll have to report this matter to the Bishop and he’ll have to deal with it.  He’ll send some people round; to interview you, take photos, etc.”

 

A thorough investigation is conducted, not only by the archdiocese but by scientists sent over from the Curia in Rome. No expense is spared.  There is great excitement in the town as everyone knows that a miracle will bring in much need tourism revenue.

Then, after 8 long weeks and with great fanfare, the Bishop announces the final ruling.

 

“It is certain that some kind of an extraordinary event took place in Murphy’s kitchen, quite outside the natural laws of the universe.  Yet the Holy See must be very cautious before ruling a miracle.  All other explanations must be ruled out. Unfortunately, in this case, it has been declared ‘No Miracle’ because they think that Murphy may have buttered the toast on the wrong side!”

987

Maybe people are beginning to listen!  Maybe it’s beginning to work.  I won’t say we’ve rounded a corner or anything, but it sure does make me feel good to read articles like this one:

Supreme Court: Obama Is Out of Order

The Supreme Court has wrapped up its 2013-2014 term by handing stinging defeats to the increasingly unpopular President Obama.

Doing its job for a change, the high court reined in the power of the Executive Branch of the federal government, striking down a forced unionization scheme, an abortifacient mandate, and improper recess appointments. The Court also rejected the Obama administration’s contention that police be allowed to search Americans’ cellphones without warrants.

In the nearly five and a half years Obama has been president, the Supreme Court has now ruled against the government 9-0 an astonishing 20 times, as Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) points out. George W. Bush and Bill Clinton lost on unanimous votes 15 times and 23 times, during their respective eight years in the Oval Office.

This means that as measured by judicial losses, the Obama administration is on track to surpass its two immediate predecessors.

“The importance of the unanimous cases is that you can’t say, ‘Well, there are five Republican appointees on the court and four Democrats,’” said Ilya Shapiro, a senior fellow in constitutional studies at the Cato Institute.

“These cases where they haven’t gotten the votes of either of the two Obama nominees means the arguments being presented by the Justice Department to the court are just out of left field,” he said.

Okay, so if he has been defeated 20 times, how the hell is he still getting away with as much as he is???  Okay, okay so I’ll choose to believe this is a good sign. 

5j

 

 

coollogo_com-194417662

Today’s Last Word is a video that seems appropriate to run today.  Some facts about the Declaration of Independence that you may not know.

I think that’s enough for one day and a really good way to end this issue that was more than full with a tiny bit of ranting.

May you have a peaceful and safe Independence Day Weekend.

cheers3

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

DL/LL Digital Media Ltd – Independence Day Issue 4th July 2014


image

 

On July 4, 1776, we claimed our independence from Britain and Democracy was born.  In June 1776, representatives of the 13 colonies then fighting in the revolutionary struggle weighed a resolution that would declare their independence from Great Britain. On July 2nd, the Continental Congress voted in favor of independence, and two days later its delegates adopted the Declaration of Independence, a historic document drafted by Thomas Jefferson.

IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Variously known as the Fourth of July and Independence Day, July 4th has been a federal holiday in the United States since 1941, but the tradition of Independence Day celebrations goes back to the 18th century and the American Revolution (1775-83).  From 1776 until the present day, July 4th has been celebrated as the birth of American independence, with typical festivities ranging from fireworks, parades and concerts to more casual family gatherings and barbecues.

The United States is truly a diverse nation made up of dynamic people.  Every day thousands leave their homeland to come to the “land of the free and the home of the brave” so they can begin their American Dream.  Sadly, some come with other things in mind, a free ride, to tear us down from within, or to commit wanton acts of terror against us due to religious & political ideology. Because we are Americans and this is the “land of the free and the home of the brave” where one of our most iconic landmarks displays the words:

“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

We as Americans need to remember, not just today, but every day to make an effort to differentiate between those seeking to join us who are truly seeking to become Americans and those who would see us torn down or do us harm. While I’ll grant you this is not an easy task, it is a debt we owe those who founded this great nation for us.

!cid_003F2F03039E4311B22D038673647CAF@WydockPC 

Let's Roll 27

268207_10151966837778787_1657047747_n

Ladies and Gentleman please stand for our (period correct) National Anthem

United States National Anthem (The Star Spangled Banner) by The United States Army Old Guard Fife and Drum Corps

 Please remain standing and join me in the Pledge of Allegiance after a great American explains the meaning behind it.

Red Skelton’s Pledge of Allegiance

 

image

image

Live on PBS from the West Lawn of the U.S. Capitol!

A Star Spangled Birthday Party — Live from the US Capitol!

This July Fourth, America’s national Independence Day celebration honors our country’s 239th birthday with an all-star salute led by two-time Emmy Award-winning television personality Tom Bergeron, along with a cast of legendary performers. Broadcast live on PBS from the West Lawn of the U.S. Capitol, this top-rated extravaganza features 20 cameras positioned around the city, ensuring viewers are front and center for the greatest display of fireworks in the nation.

A Capitol Fourth is broadcast live on PBS and can also be heard live on NPR member stations nationwide and via the American Forces Network to the nearly one million American service members, Department of Defense civilians, and their families, stationed at bases in 175 countries as well as 140 U.S. Navy ships at sea.

See the star studded performers list here: http://www.pbs.org/a-capitol-fourth/concert/2014-performers/

Friday, July 4, from 8:00 to 9:30 p.m. ET

John Philip Sousa’s March, “The Stars and Stripes Forever”

 

image

image

image

Wednesday I made a Gratuitous Movie Referenced and challenged you people to post the movie it was from in the comments section of the issue. I’m not sure which I’m more disappointed in, the fact that none of you got it, or that only a single individual could be bothered to take the effort to comment with the answer.

image

The line about hating when I get my Schwartz tangled is a reference to the 1987 Mel Brooks Cult Classic “Spaceballs”.

Let me again reference my general disgust over the lack of participation effort like this:

image

I now return your to drunken BBQ activities.

image

The Birth of American Independence

“Taxation without representation!” was the battle cry in America’s 13 colonies, which were forced to pay taxes to England’s King George III despite having no representation in the British Parliament. As dissatisfaction grew, British troops were sent in to quell the early movement toward rebellion. Repeated attempts by the colonists to resolve the crisis without military conflict proved fruitless.

When the initial battles in the Revolutionary War broke out in April 1775, few colonists desired complete independence from Great Britain, and those who did were considered radical. By the middle of the following year, however, many more colonists had come to favor independence, thanks to growing hostility against Britain and the spread of revolutionary sentiments such as those expressed in Thomas Paine’s bestselling pamphlet “Common Sense,” published in early 1776. On June 7, when the Continental Congress met at the Pennsylvania State House (later Independence Hall) in Philadelphia, the Virginia delegate Richard Henry Lee introduced a motion calling for the colonies’ independence. Amid heated debate, Congress postponed the vote on Lee’s resolution, but appointed a five-man committee to draft a formal statement justifying the break with Great Britain.

The committee included Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, Roger Sherman and Robert R. Livingston. Jefferson, who was considered the strongest and most eloquent writer, crafted the original draft document (as seen above). A total of 86 changes were made to his draft and the Continental Congress officially adopted the final version on July 4, 1776.

On July 2nd, the Continental Congress voted in favor of Lee’s resolution for independence in a near-unanimous vote (the New York delegation abstained, but later voted affirmatively). On that day, John Adams wrote to his wife Abigail that July 2 “will be celebrated, by succeeding Generations, as the great anniversary Festival” and that the celebration should include “Pomp and Parade…Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other.” On July 4th, the Congress formally adopted the Declaration of Independence, which had been written largely by Jefferson. Though the vote for actual independence took place on July 2nd, from then on the 4th became the day that was celebrated as the birth of American independence.

On July 6, The Pennsylvania Evening Post became the first newspaper to print the extraordinary document. The Declaration of Independence has since become our nation’s most cherished symbol of liberty.

image

image

Flash Mob – “Proud to be an American”

 

!cid_39_949804@web36905_mail_mud_yahoo

 

Remember to thank our Veterans & Soldiers for the privilege of being able to do so

cat-cooking-on-the-grill

image

Couple last minute spice rubs in case you’ve a need to one up the neighborhood self anointed grill master and a cake recipe I promised Impish I’d post for the holiday. RELAX ALREADY! If you keep a decently stocked larder its likely you have just about everything you’ll need for this cake

Chicken Rub

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Ingredients

2  tbsp.  garlic powder
1  tbsp.  onion powder
1  tbsp.  cumin
1  tbsp.  dried thyme
1  tbsp.  coriander
1/4  c.  smoked paprika
1  tbsp.  black pepper
2  tbsp.  kosher salt

Instructions

For presentation, layer spices. Recipe may be doubled or tripled to fit your jar. To use, combine all spices together and rub liberally on any chicken product.

Variations: Make your own favorite blend by adding or substituting any of these spices: fennel seed, ginger, all spice and a dash of cinnamon.

Pork Rub

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Ingredients

1/3  c.  smoked paprika
2  tbsp.  kosher or sea salt
2  tbsp.  brown sugar
2  tbsp.  white sugar
2  tbsp.  black pepper
2  tbsp.  mustard powder
1  tbsp.  garlic powder
1  tbsp.  cayenne pepper
1  tbsp.  ground coriander
1/2  tsp.  ground cinnamon

  or presentation, layer spices. Recipe may be doubled or tripled to fit your jar. To use, combine all spices together and rub liberally on any pork product.

Variations: Make your own favorite blend by adding or substituting any of these spices: thyme, rosemary, sage, allspice, marjoram, nutmeg, bay leaves, or ginger.

Beef Rub

Ingredients

2  Tbsp  thyme
1  Tbsp  black pepper
2  Tbsp  garlic powder
2  Tbsp   kosher salt
1  Tbsp  mustard powder
1  Tbsp.  smoked paprika
1  Tbsp  cayenne powder

Instructions

For presentation, layer spices. Recipe may be doubled or tripled to fit your jar. To use, combine all spices together and rub liberally on any beef product.

Variations: Make your own favorite blend by adding or substituting any of these spices, ingredients, or herbs: rosemary, orange peel or cumin.

In all three cases I make mine with half of the salt called for to reduce the sodium levels. In fact if making it for a gift I include no salt and the instructions for use say to slat the meat to the cooks preference

Premium Tres Leches Cake

I promise Impish I’d post this recipe for the holiday as when he heard me describe it he lost another keyboard to shorting out in a pool of drool. While it didn’t make it into Wednesday’s issue it’s a long weekend and the stores are open

Premium Tres Leches Cake

Three forms of leche, or “milk,” are poured over a baked cake to create its signature indulgence. Cake mix and ready-to-spread frosting make it easy.

  • Prep Time 15 min
  • Total Time 1 hr 55 min
  • Servings 15

 

Ingredients

1  box Betty Crocker™ SuperMoist  yellow cake mix
1 1/4 cups water
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
2 teaspoons vanilla
4 eggs
1 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk (not evaporated)
1 cup whole milk or evaporated milk
1 cup whipping cream
1 container Betty Crocker™ Whipped fluffy white frosting

Directions

  • 1 Heat oven to 350°F (325°F for dark or nonstick pan). Grease and flour or spray bottom and sides of 13×9-inch pan.
  • 2 In large bowl, beat cake mix, water, oil, vanilla and eggs with electric mixer on low speed 30 seconds, then on medium speed 2 minutes, scraping bowl occasionally. Pour into pan.
  • 3 Bake as directed on box for 13×9-inch pan. Let stand 5 minutes. Poke top of hot cake every 1/2 inch with long-tined fork, wiping fork occasionally to reduce sticking.
  • 4 In large bowl, stir together sweetened condensed milk, whole milk and whipping cream. Carefully pour evenly over top of cake. Cover; refrigerate about 1 hour or until mixture is absorbed into cake. Frost with frosting. Store covered in refrigerator.

Typical yellow cake? Not! You’ll savor a very moist cake that’s been soaked in three full-flavored milks (“tres leches” in Spanish). The preparation is similar to a “poke” cake, where a cake is first baked, then poked and a mixture poured over it. This cake can vary by region, having fruit or chocolate, but the three-milk soaking is the key to its authenticity.

[We like it with strawberry cake mix and topped with whipped cream and strawberries instead of frosting]

John Philip Sousa’s March, “The Liberty Bell”

 

 

image

Perverted Prose Header

Some people do Crossword puzzles to keep their minds sharp, others prefer Word Jumbles or Sudoku. I like to parody song lyrics for my own purposes and the amusement of my friends. My muse just whispers in my ear (then usually gives me a wet willy) and I’m off at it.

Today’s requires a little explanation and background. Unless you were lucky enough to be born Irish or marry a fine Irish woman your not likely to recognize the tune which I have bent to my will because its mainly only popular with us Irish as its sort of a period history piece. So I’ll let you listen to it and an explanation of how it came about before giving it to you. Sorry but it won’t play here. Instead you’ll have to go to Youtube to comply with the posters restrictions to hear it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CySri9RAuQ

 Impish and I frequently exchange IMs during the day (don’t look for us it’s a closed system we’re using). I try to announce my presence with something humorous to make him laugh and his day better. So originally this started out only as the first 3 stanzas and chorus. Impish knew the song but couldn’t quite place it as he while not lucky enough to have been born an Irishman got the consolation prize and married an Irish lass. He was impressed enough to urge me to continue on with perverting it.

Bracing for another wet willy I asked my muse for more help. She’s fickle and has a short attention span however and came back to help paying attention now not to making Impish laugh but because of the upcoming holiday to make it about our stand against the political insanity that threatens our Republic ever seeing its 250th birthday.

I’ll sing you a song of peace and love.
They whack politicians all the live long day
Of the Leprechaun that reigns o’er a blog that’s a cut above
They whack politicians all the live long day

May profits a plenty be his share,
He keeps Impish Dragon from the electric chair!
So the Gods bless Lethal is our prayer
Whacking politicians all the live long day

They whack politicians all the live long day
So we say “Hip Hooray!”
Come and listen while we sing their praise
Whacking politicians  all the live long day

When Impish was savage fierce and wild
They whack politicians all the live long day
Lethal came along like a mother to her child
They whack politicians all the live long day
Vigorously applying shelling to Impish all the time
Which kept our Dragon from hellish crime
And made him profitable in his own good time
Whacking politicians all the live long day

They whack politicians all the live long day
So we say “Hip Hooray!”
Come and listen while we sing their praise
They whack politicians all the live long day

Together the two oft are naughty boys
They whack politicians all the live long day
For computers and guns are dangerous toys
They whack politicians all the live long day
From the blog the rail against Obama’s will
They make poor Liberals weep their fill
Ah, but ould ‘Merica they love her still
Whacking politicians all the live long day

They whack politicians all the live long day
So we say “Hip Hooray!”
Come and listen while we sing their praise
Whacking politicians all the live long day

Oh, Conservatives forget the past
They whack politicians all the live long day
And think of the time that’s coming fast
They whack politicians all the live long day
When we will all be liberally Communized
Neat and clean our lives by Big Brother well supervised
Oh, won’t the Founding Fathers be surprised?
Whacking politicians all the live long day

Founding Fathers

image

Bonfires and Illuminations

On July 8, 1776, the first public readings of the Declaration were held in Philadelphia’s Independence Square to the ringing of bells and band music. One year later, on July 4, 1777, Philadelphia marked Independence Day by adjourning Congress and celebrating with bonfires, bells and fireworks.

The custom eventually spread to other towns, both large and small, where the day was marked with processions, oratory, picnics, contests, games, military displays and fireworks. Observations throughout the nation became even more common at the end of the War of 1812 with Great Britain.

In June of 1826, Thomas Jefferson sent a letter to Roger C. Weightman, declining an invitation to come to Washington, D.C. to help celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence. It was the last letter that Jefferson, who was gravely ill, ever wrote. In it, Jefferson says of the document:

“May it be to the world, what I believe it will be … the signal of arousing men to burst the chains … and to assume the blessings and security of self-government. That form, which we have substituted, restores the free right to the unbounded exercise of reason and freedom of opinion. All eyes are opened, or opening, to the rights of man. …For ourselves, let the annual return of this day forever refresh our recollections of these rights, and an undiminished devotion to them.” – Thomas Jefferson June 24, 1826 Monticello

image

Aaron Tippin – Where The Stars & Stripes & The Eagle Fly

 

daily_afternoon_randomness_49_photos14_1399617941

image

American Revolution – 1776

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zv1QdkMdGrA

At 50 minutes I’ll just post this and leave it to you to watch it later.

image

Early Fourth of July Celebrations

In the pre-Revolutionary years, colonists had held annual celebrations of the king’s birthday, which traditionally included the ringing of bells, bonfires, processions and speechmaking. By contrast, during the summer of 1776 some colonists celebrated the birth of independence by holding mock funerals for King George III, as a way of symbolizing the end of the monarchy’s hold on America and the triumph of liberty. Festivities including concerts, bonfires, parades and the firing of cannons and muskets usually accompanied the first public readings of the Declaration of Independence, beginning immediately after its adoption. Philadelphia held the first annual commemoration of independence on July 4, 1777, while Congress was still occupied with the ongoing war. George Washington issued double rations of rum to all his soldiers to mark the anniversary of independence in 1778, and in 1781, several months before the key American victory at Yorktown, Massachusetts became the first state to make July 4th an official state holiday.

After the Revolutionary War, Americans continued to commemorate Independence Day every year, in celebrations that allowed the new nation’s emerging political leaders to address citizens and create a feeling of unity. By the last decade of the 18th century, the two major political parties–Federalists and Democratic-Republicans–that had arisen began holding separate Independence Day celebrations in many large cities.

image

The United States Army Old Guard Fife and Drum Corps in 2012 Spirit of America

         

        image

        July 4th Becomes A National Holiday

        The tradition of patriotic celebration became even more widespread after the War of 1812, in which the United States again faced Great Britain. In 1870, the U.S. Congress made July 4th a federal holiday; in 1941, the provision was expanded to grant a paid holiday to all federal employees. Over the years, the political importance of the holiday would decline, but Independence Day remained an important national holiday and a symbol of patriotism.

        Falling in mid-summer, the Fourth of July has since the late 19th century become a major focus of leisure activities and a common occasion for family get-togethers, often involving fireworks and outdoor barbecues. The most common symbol of the holiday is the American flag, and a common musical accompaniment is “The Star-Spangled Banner,” the national anthem of the United States.

        image

        Still too early yet for fireworks… so how about a little more music

        Courtesy Of The Red, White And Blue (The Angry American)

         

        image

        Let’s see…is it dark enough yet?

        7-4 fw

        Yeah that looks pretty good beside you natives are getting too restless and rowdy.

        Biggest-fireworks2---oston-4th-of-July

        image

        Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks New York City

         

        Disney’s Celebrate America! – A Fourth of July Concert in the Sky Fireworks 2013

         

        Independance Flag

        image

        Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments