Dragon Laffs #1407


Header95
Good Morning Campers,

In this morning’s issue I spend a LOT of time on my vacation this week, so I’d like to just get a couple of announcements out of the way and then we’ll get started.

A great milestone was passed on Wednesday, October 15, 2014.  Ginny “The Jersey Girl” and her Fireman husband Paul had their 48th anniversary!  Paul has shown us the bruises and assures us that he has been happily married for 30 years.  When Ginny then smacked him about his poor memory and said, “No, it’s been 48!” he replied,  “Well, they weren’t all happy.”

Lethal Leprechaun has spoken with The Big Guy Upstairs and assures us that Paul’s Application For Sainthood will go through uncontested.

We (The dragon family) went to Louisville Kentucky this week.  It was a nice trip.  We did some really cool things.  It was the first time we (our whole family) has gone on a real vacation since Izzy Dragon was born.  Usually when I took vacation time it was for medical reasons, doctor appointments, surgery, doctor appointments, recovery, doctor appointments, medical tests, and doctor appointments.  Never have we ever gone anywhere just for fun.  And this was for ONLY two days.  Yeah, poor me.  Screw that.  I’m glad I’m still alive.  A lot of what I’ve been through would’ve killed me only 50 or 60 years ago.  So, anyway, let’s talk about our vacation.

01We went from our little town of Peru, Indiana and our first stop was this cool place called The Big Four Bridge.  Click on the link if you want to see more of that.  It is a foot and bicycle bridge that crosses the Ohio River from Jeffersonville, Indiana to Louisville, Kentucky.  It’s about one mile long.  We only went out part of the way, to take some pictures.  And, as you can see, it was drizzling.  It was raining or drizzling the whole friggin’ two days we were gone.

02 And yes, the third picture on the right is my lovely Mrs. Dragon and our Izzy Dragon.

I do have one question though…anyone familiar with Jeffersonville can answer this one for me, if you like.  03

What is with the friggin’ wall?  As far as I can tell it splits the city in half…or at least in pieces.  It goes in both directions as far as the eye can see from the Big Four Bridge.  Was the town of Jeffersonville under siege at some point in it’s recent past?  I say recent, because the wall looks fairly new.  Well, at least in the last say 40 years or so.
Okay, so I did a little research…it’s a flood wall and the area of Riverside drive is on the wrong side of it.  But if you look at the right hand picture, that’s a pretty big opening.  Is there a magical door way that closes up or maybe they pile sandbags there?  If you look close, there are grooves and what could be an opening in the ground so that a door could conceivably be raised there. Okay, so that was cool.  Thanks for helping me figure it out.

So then we went across the river, into Louisville and checked into our hotel.  I picked the La Quinta because I stayed in one in San Antonio a couple of years ago and it was really nice.  So, if you’re looking for a decent, fairly inexpensive hotel, they get my vote.

After checking in, our first visit was to the Louisville Slugger Museum and factory.  If you get a chance to visit Louisville, I hope you take the time to visit this spot…especially if you’re a baseball fan (which I’m not particularly) or even if you’re just interested in learning more about making something cool like a baseball bat.

01a  They didn’t allow pictures in the factory, only the museum, so you’ll have to go there yourself to see more.

 

Well, after that we went to the place we actually came down to Louisville to see…01b

The Louisville Jack-O’-Lantern Spectacular!  Again, click the link for more information.
The Jack-O’-Lantern Spectacular is held in Iroquois Park with over 5,000 carved pumpkins lining a 1/4-mile walking trail, illuminated at night as an “art show” daily from dusk to late.
Campers, that’s over 5,000 carved pumpkins.  Now, “carved” is a relative term.  These things aren’t just carved, they are pieces of ART!  Here’s a couple of examples:
01c

Neither of these pictures really give you an accurate look at the totality of this show.  It was incredible.  Here’s an in-depth look at some of the detail:

01dThere were thousands of these carved pumpkins.  They actually put them into topics.  Everything from the dinosaurs to the Vietnam War to 9-11 to the future.
01eThese are just a tiny taste of the whole thing.  Here’s a video to try and put you in the “feel” and the “mood” of the whole thing.

Highly!  Recommended!  We may end up going back again next year.  Maybe make it a yearly pilgrimage.  It really was that much fun!

After spending the night at the hotel, we traveled back home, stopping at a place called Clifty Falls State Park in Madison, IN.  As you can tell from the header today, apparently they have dragons there!
01fAnyway, as you can see from all these pictures, which are just a small taste of our little vacation, we had a well needed break, lots of fun and a ton of laughter.

Thanks to my lovely wife and daughter for the wonderful time.
Thanks to my buddy Lethal for keeping the office running while I was gone.
Now that all of that is over with, how about we get back to the laughter!

coollogo_com-6522283

1090This poor kitty tried to follow in the steps of the Lethal Leprechaun Kitty Ninja school of training.  He couldn’t pass the opening tests.  From what I understand, Lethal’s cats have far surpassed the training given them, so just beware.

1091

A suicide bomber died and went to heaven, as foretold.  When he arrived there, he met Allah, and he said to Allah that he was ready to claim his virgins, as promised.
Out of curiosity he asked Allah why there were so many virgins in heaven.
Allah regarded him for a moment, then replied, “Actually, the 72 virgins are here in heaven because assholes like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So you’re here to service them. Since they’re virgins, they’re quite sexually ravenous; and, frankly, you’ll be on constant, exhausting duty. And I shall banish you from Paradise should you fail!”
 
The bomber responded, “Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?”
 
And Allah replied, “Who said anything about women?”

This is a GREAT illusion.  How the heck did he do this?

 

5

 

1

DragonPapa1 (270)

Me and some wizard back during my adventuring days.  Who won?  Well, I AM the one who is here writing to you, not some wizard.

 

5a

Yeah…how about that?  Do any of you HONESTLY think that this isn’t the truth?

 

5c

Lethal saw this and told me that it looks an awful lot like me trying to land on my balcony in a crosswind.  I don’t know.  No.  Really.  I don’t know because when that happens to me I don’t remain conscious, so I can’t tell you if it looks like me or not.

 

Okay, ever wonder why you can’t wear metal into an MRI?  Here’s a hint.  The M stands for Magnetic.  Check out these guys playing with metal in an MRI

8a

 

Hey!  You guys want to see an iLethal Robot in action?  Now, this is not Lethal’s iLethal, but very very similar technology.  Right here in good old Indiana.  Indianapolis International Airport:

Switch the T-Shirt for a kilt……

 

A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, “There were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens.”

“How did you know?” his mother asked.

“Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied.

“I think it’s printed on the bottom.”

 

9

 

Another three-year-old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot.  She said, “Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet.”

He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, “Don’t kid me, Mom. They’re the only feet I got!”

coollogo_com-53343979

f2009082402

When you call our corporate offices, the lady who answers your phone is one that we’ve had with us for many years.  Yes, she also doubles as security, but then again, almost everyone at DL&LL Electronic Media doubles as security when necessary.  This is Helga at one of our training sessions.  She’s very good at her job.

 

On the first day of school, about midmorning, the kindergarten teacher said, “If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers.”
A little voice from the back of the room asked, “How will that help?”
 
9a
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table.
“What are you doing?” his mother asked.
“The box says not to eat them if the seal is broken,” the boy explained. “I’m looking for the seal.”

1086

 

 

 

coollogo_com-8789650

8o

8p

This is going to be one pain in the ass to clean up.  They really need the help of a helicopter or a dragon.  Either one.

8q

This one is just a really poor understanding of physics.  Although, I’d bet if he just drove forward the problem would be self-correcting.

8r

So, I’m thinking the three guys, some needle nosed pliers, coffee and a couple of hours and this guy will be all set.

8s

You gotta love the priorities here.  Your kid or friend, spouse maybe is being eaten head first by a camel and you need to take the picture.  Nice.

 

This was sent as a David Letterman Top 10 list.  Not sure it was his or not, but it sure was funny.

#10. I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I’ve decided to marry my German Shepherd.

#9. I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn’t.

#8. I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

#7. I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

#6. I vote Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a 911 service that get police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion.

#5. I vote Democrat because I’m not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive and comfy.

#4. I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away Social Security from those who paid into it.

#3. I vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrat Party sees fit.

#2. I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

…And the #1 reason I vote Democrat is because I think it’s better to pay $billions$ for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish here in America . We don’t care about the beetles, gophers or fish in those other countries.

1087

1088

 

coollogo_com-170261913

a6

a7

a8

a9

a10

 

 

coollogo_com-294902657

Before we get on with this weeks poll, let’s review last weeks.  The first poll for Dragon Laffs.  First, we only had 56 responders in this poll, (even though we had 608 hits in the first two days) so I’m not sure this really gives us a true overview of our campers.  But, here it is anyway:

Poll #1

So, this shows that 70% of our campers are Vets.  I know it’s a lot, but I don’t think it’s that high.  Maybe when we get a little bit better participation, we’ll revisit this one.  For today’s poll, we ask an age old question…

 

1089

 

I tried to modify this for Lethal and couldn’t.  I’d either have to change it to a letter from his dad or that I was older than him or something… so instead, I’ll just present it as a joke sent to me by my dad, Papa Dragon Most Senior.  Now, after all that, this COULD have been written about Lethal…

 

MY FIRST IRISH DRINK WITH MY SON

 

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back to the time I took my son out for his first pint.

Off we went to our local pub which is only two blocks from the house.

I got him a Guinness. He didn’t like it, so I drank it.

Then I got him a Stroh’s, he didn’t like that either, so I drank it.

It was the same with the Molson’s and the Labatt’s.

I thought maybe he’d like whiskey better than beer so we tried a few of those.

He didn’t like that either.

By the time I decided he just didn’t like to drink, I could hardly push the stroller back home.

1

Go To Hell

go to sleep

Goals

Goals2

It’s a little blurry so I’ll help you out.  It says: Goals: Focus on your goals… just don’t get caught focusing.

Yeah, I know.  It’s tough to read.  Even tougher after staring at the picture.

Goats

Also, Goats: They’re figgin’ weird!

 

10

We spent the morning on Friday going to the Pumpkin Patch.  I sent a couple of them over to my private pie bakery.  This was one of fourteen deliveries done for me today.

 

1092

 

1093

 

A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack (Churchill Downs) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon) but mostly to see the horses.
When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go
with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men’s room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their ‘wee-wees’ to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn’t help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said, ‘You must be in the 5th grade.’
‘No, ma’am’, he replied. ‘I’m riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help.’

1094

1095

coollogo_com-9566296

You guys have read stuff from Thomas Sowell on here before.  This is a pretty good essay on Ebola and the state of the administration and Obama in particular.  As usual, my comments will be in blue.

The Ebola outbreak in West Africa is both a danger in itself and a wake-up call for Americans — about President Obama, about the institutions of this country and, most important, about ourselves.
There was a time when an outbreak of a deadly disease overseas would bring virtually unanimous agreement that our top priority should be to keep it overseas. Yet Barack Obama has refused to bar entry to the United States by people from countries where the Ebola epidemic rages, as Britain has done.  Okay, so since when has Britain been the lead in keeping people OUT of their country?  They are almost being overrun by Islamists and yet, they are the example in closing their borders from Ebola.  That ALONE should tell us what side of this issue we should be on.
The reason? Refusing to let people with Ebola enter the United States would conflict with the goal of fighting the disease. In other words, the safety of the American people takes second place to the goal of helping people overseas.  That should’ve been obvious in Obama’s reign so far.  He bowed to the Saudi King, promised the Russians that he’d be able to do much more after the election and has been trying to welcome all those potential voters poor Mexicans into our country.  Promising billions of dollars of aid to this country and that and yet is letting Americans across the country suffer more and more.
As if to emphasize his priorities, President Obama has ordered thousands of American troops to go into Ebola-stricken Liberia, disregarding the dangers to those troops and to other Americans when the troops return. And what kind of protection are those troops going to be given?  Any?
What does this say about Obama?
At a minimum, it suggests that he takes his conception of himself as a citizen of the world more seriously than he takes his role as President of the United States. Undoubtedly At worst, he may consider Americans’ interests expendable in the grand scheme of things internationally. If so, this would explain a lot of his foreign policy disasters around the world, which seem inexplicable otherwise.  This would be the point in this essay where Lethal and I both say, in very loud words, “WE TOLD YOU SO!”  Over and over we’ve been saying this for YEARS!  This guy is more interested in the people OUTSIDE of the country he was elected to lead than those he is responsible for!  He is doing his damnedest to destroy the very country who elected him to power.  WHOSE FAULT IS THAT??!!  All the left facing, entitled, freeloading, lazy, good-for-nothing morons who voted for him.  It’s YOUR fault this great country is a shadow of what it once was.  (Taking a deep breath, counting to ten, drinking a shot and taking another deep breath) Okay, moving on.
Those critics who have been citing Barack Obama’s foreign policy fiascoes and disasters as evidence that he is incompetent may be overlooking the possibility that he has different priorities than the protection of the American people and America’s interests as a nation.
This is a monstrous possibility. But no one familiar with the history of the twentieth century should consider monstrous possibilities as things to dismiss automatically. Nor should anyone who has followed Barack Obama’s behavior over his lifetime, and the values that behavior reveals.  We’ve told you before, that he wasn’t incompetent, he was doing all this crap on purpose!
A few critics who, early on, sensed something un-American, if not anti-American, in Barack Obama, succumbed to the idea that he was not a native-born citizen. That claim blew up in their faces.

Nor was birthplace crucial anyway. People born overseas have put their lives on the line to defend America, and scientists who escaped from Europe in the 1930s played a major role in creating the nuclear bomb that made the United States a superpower. Conversely, the country’s most notorious traitor — Benedict Arnold — was born on American soil.
Whatever the reason, or combination of reasons, that led to President Obama’s foreign policy disasters around the world — with the crowning disaster of all, a nuclear Iran, looming on the horizon — it cannot be a simple lack of knowledge or experience. Various former members of the Obama administration are telling the same story, of information and advice from knowledgeable and experienced officials being ignored by this vain and headstrong man.  Again…told you so!  Okay, that’s enough of that.
Back in the 18th century, Edmund Burke pointed out that, whatever the institutions of government, most of the outcomes of what it does “must depend upon the exercise of the powers which are left at large to the prudence and uprightness of ministers of state.”
What did the American voters know about the prudence and uprightness of this untried man they elected president, as a result of his glib rhetoric and his racial symbolism? It is not just bad luck when a reckless gamble turns out disastrously.  What did those voters know?  They knew that the man was going to give them free-shit!  Gimme, gimme, gimme!  You OWE me!  I DESERVE it!  Without any regard as to who is going to PAY for it!  TANSTAAFL!!!!!!  (And triple points to anyone who can tell me what it stands for, what author made the acronym prominent and which book of his it was.)
No one knows at this point how big the Ebola danger may turn out to be. But what we do know is that official reassurances about this and other dangers have become worthless.  As ALL reassurances and official statements have become.
The erosion of Constitutional government over the years has become, under the Obama administration, a deluge of arbitrary edicts and defiant lawlessness protected by a grossly politicized Department of Justice.  All hail the emperor!
It may be time to consider reorganizing the institutions of government, so that high officials who try to reassure the public about medical crises are not officials who serve “at the pleasure of the president.” Nor should the Attorney General, whose duty is to enforce the laws, be part of an administration whose law-breakers the Justice Department can protect from prosecution.  Amen!
Amen
Thomas Sowell is a senior fellow at the Hoover Institution, Stanford University, Stanford, CA 94305. His website is http://www.tsowell.com/. To find out more about Thomas Sowell and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at http://www.creators.com/.

5b (2)

 

    And again…. I get to use my picture.  This is number three.

 

 

coollogo_com-89903697

Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments

Leprechaun Laughs # 268 for October 15 2014


image

You peer into the Conference Room and see basically the same set up as last week with perhaps a few more chairs added to the Preferred Seating area, most of those with shiny new brass tags. A quick scan shows 3 row of 12 separated into groups of 4 by 2 aisles,36 seats in all. All of them appear filled apparently those with Preferred Seating were allowed in before you. Impish noticed you and goes from talking with several people up to the podium.

What? You expected something to change between last week and this week? I see some of you were smart enough to get your own coffee and pastry down stairs. Good I won’t have to compete with some many growling stomach as I did last week to be heard.

Lets get right to the brass tacks shall we. As on Monday Morning we had donations from 37 separate people. Given that Monday was a holiday and some folk had asked for the snail mail address towards the end  which Impish had not yet seen mail from while our funding drive is closed we’ll be delaying final judgment on the situation a few more days. Impish will be away from home yesterday and today so it will be at least Thursday or Friday before he gets to go through all his mail. AS late as yesterday morning I responded to someone in the comments section looking for the snail mail address.

Let me just say at this point that 37 is not 45 and therefore not the 10% participation level and due to the unforeseen technicality of the holiday followed by Impish impromptu get away you people have a few more days grace to get donations in but the next count WILL be the LAST and FINAL count.

I also noticed we lost a single subscriber, between last week and this week. That’s ok by me and actually I applaud whomever’s principles and ethics. Rather than be a blog welfarian they chose to  unsubscribe because they felt we were not even worth a single dollar an year. [Actually I figure they took my remarks personally and didn’t like being called on being a tight wad cheap azz.]

Personally, I’m of a mind to delay the decision 60 days to see how long the uptick in commenting and voting for issues participation  lasts before making a decision. Impish and I will I’m sure be discussing the situation once he gets back and all the figures are in.

Moving right along as I’ve got a quarter section test to study for and take.

Lets Roll-99

ca1dec5a43213ed9b047fb52

Of course those mini chocolate glazed Donut help too!

Paul B Says 1

For 2 years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin
his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she
would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to
raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned
18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write
‘Spaghetti’ on the back. He would then arrange for the child support
payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
‘Honey!,’ she said, ‘you received a very strange post card today .’ He said
‘Just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,’
She did, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and
fainted. On the card was written:

Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without.
Send extra sauce!

image

I keep telling you everything is bigger in Texas… even Texas on the map! You umm did see the map in the picture didn’t you? Or were you staring at her ‘Texas A-cups’?

image

image

image

Cardboard Stories | Homeless in Orlando

 

a_low_down_dirty_good_time_is_upon_us_once_more_39_photos29_1413125976

 

Lep Movie Sage words

“The modern definition of ‘racist’ is anyone who is winning an argument with a liberal”- Peter Brimlow

I’m not a racist- I hate Obama’s white half too. – Lethal Leprechaun

image

Impish Dragon as a wee nipper! He was such a cute little dorkling back then. Piety about the accident!

Here’s a candid picture of him now hard at work on the Air Force Reserve Base:

image

meanwhile_in_the_world_i_wish_i_lived_in_35_photos8_1413126216

 

image

Fall is time to get that oven cranking as much for the free heat at night as it is for the good things that come out of it. Some of the best things go well with coffee for desert, snack time of even breakfast.

Recipe Warning

That pretty much covers all the recipes this issue so dig out those elastic waist bands, drool bibs and sit down before you fall down before proceeding.

Pumpkin Caramel Trifle

image

 

 

Prep Time:20 min
Cook Time:20 min
Yield:12 servings

 

INGREDIENTS:

  • No-Stick Cooking Spray
  • 1 (14 oz.) package Pillsbury® Pumpkin Quick Bread & Muffin Mix
  • 1 cup water
  • 3 tablespoons Vegetable Oil
  • 1 large egg
  • 3 cups milk
  • 2 (3.4 oz.) packages instant cheesecake pudding and pie filling
  • 1 (8 oz.) container frozen extra creamy whipped topping, thawed
  • 1/2 cup  Caramel Flavored Topping
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 6 tablespoons chopped pecans

PREPARATION DIRECTIONS:

  1. HEAT oven to 375°F. Coat 13×9-inch baking pan with no-stick spray.

  2. PREPARE quick bread mix according to package directions using water, oil and egg. Pour into prepared pan. Bake 18 to 20 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool completely.

  3. CUT quick bread into 1-inch cubes. Whisk milk and pudding mix in medium bowl for 2 minutes. Stir caramel topping with cinnamon in small bowl.

  4. LAYER 1/3 of cubes in a 2 1/2-quart trifle dish or large glass serving bowl. Top with 1/3 of pudding, 1 cup whipped topping, 2 tablespoons caramel topping and 2 tablespoons pecans. Repeat twice to make 3 layers.

  5. SPREAD remaining whipped topping over top. Drizzle remaining caramel topping over top of trifle and sprinkle with pecans. Chill 30 minutes before serving.

    If you really want to go all out with your Pumpkin Spice Insanity, Jell-O is offering a limited time Pumpkin Spice Pudding Mix. You could do one of those and one the the cheesecake.

 

Spiced Apple Walnut Bars

imageimage

INGREDIENTS:

  • No-Stick Cooking Spray
  • 1/2 cup All-Vegetable Shortening
  • OR 1/2 stick Baking Sticks All-Vegetable Shortening
  • 1 1/4 cups sugar, divided
  • 1 cup applesauce
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 2 cups All Purpose Flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup raisins
  • 1/2 cup crushed cornflakes
  • 1/2 cup chopped walnuts
  • 2 tablespoons All-Vegetable Shortening, melted

PREPARATION DIRECTIONS:

  1. HEAT oven to 350ºF. Coat a 15 x 10 x 1-inch baking sheet with no-stick cooking spray.

  2. MIX shortening and 1 cup sugar at medium high speed of electric mixer 5 minutes or until light. Add applesauce and vanilla.

  3. COMBINE flour, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and salt in large bowl. Add to applesauce mixture; stir until combined. Stir in raisins. Spread in prepared baking sheet.

  4. COMBINE crushed cornflakes, nuts, remaining 1/4 cup sugar and melted shortening; sprinkle evenly over batter.

  5. BAKE 20 to 25 minutes or until done. Cool; cut in bars.

coollogo_com-54741145

OK that officially makes this recipe a DOUBLE ALERT

Get a grip on something Ginny or better yet duck and cover to avoid getting knocked down by a low flying dragon desperate to get to these little beauties.. If you are planning on making these to take someplace I suggest locating some foil mini muffin papers as they make removing, transporting and serving very easy.

Chocolate-Orange  Mini Cheesecakes

These mini cheesecakes are easy and fast to make plus so good you may want to eat them all yourself.

image

Total Time: 1 hr 45 min Prep: 35 min  | Inactive: 25 min  | Cook: 45 min
Yield: 6 servings  |  Level: Intermediate

Ingredients

1/3 cup finely crushed chocolate wafers
2 tablespoons butter, melted
1/4 cup ricotta cheese
2 ounces cream cheese
1/4 cup sugar, plus 2 tablespoons
1 orange, zested
1 egg
Butter, for greasing

Special equipment: mini muffin tin

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Combine the crushed chocolate wafers and the melted butter. Place a tightly packed teaspoon of the wafer mixture into each mini-muffin cup and press down firmly.
In a food processor combine the ricotta cheese, cream cheese, 1/4 cup of the sugar, half of the orange zest, and the egg. Blend until smooth. Lightly grease the sides of the mini muffin tin with butter. Fill the cups with about 1 1/2 tablespoons of the cheesecake mixture. Place the mini muffin tin in a baking dish and pour enough hot water in the baking dish to come halfway up the sides of the mini muffin tin. Bake for 25 minutes. Transfer the mini muffin tin to a wire rack and let cool for 30 minutes. Refrigerate for 15 minutes. Use a small knife to gently pop the cheesecakes out of the cups.
Just before serving, combine the remaining orange zest with the remaining 2 tablespoons of sugar. Top each individual cheesecake with about 1/4 teaspoon of the orange zest mixture and serve.

10703505_789757061070535_899073684350380975_n

10687155_789954314384143_8879198553025268833_n

24 EASY Hi-Tech Halloween Costumes for 2014

 

meanwhile_in_the_world_i_wish_i_lived_in_35_photos19_1413126323

 

image

The End

Posted in Uncategorized | 17 Comments

Dragon Laffs #1406


donation

Good Morning Campers,

I can see that we have a few more people in the favored section than we had on Wednesday.  That’s really good!  Great even. 

I see also, that the word has gotten out that our Vets and the disabled are also welcome in this special area.  I think you’ll all agree that they have all already paid the price of admission.  And some of them have paid way more than was necessary to get there.

And you know…let’s talk about that.  I’ve had SO MANY people write to me with a donation (you’ll be able to see the list below to see who they are that I’m talking about) who were sad and apologetic that and said something to the affect of “I’m really sorry that this is all I could send.  I really wanted to send more, but ___” and you can fill in the blank.  And although we deeply appreciated the donations that were in the $5 and up range, all we ever asked from everyone is $1.  With our subscribers each giving one dollar, we would have made our yearly nut.  It was more about the support then it EVER was about the money. 

We tried to ask you to rate us by stars, to show us your support.  I think if we figured it out we probably average somewhere between 5 and 8 stars per issue.  Certainly not more than 10. 

We tried to ask you to make comments, to show us your support.  And there are issues that go by that aren’t commented on at all.  Is it that you agree with everything we print and you think there’s no reason to comment?  I really doubt that, just as much as I doubt that you disagree with everything and don’t think it’s worth the effort to comment. 

So, if our issues aren’t even worth the effort of clicking on a star, even a 1 star if you didn’t think it was a good issue still tells us that someone is out there reading us, nor worth making a comment on…then I have to wonder if we’re not just wasting our time.

Let me tell you how this whole Dragon Laffs thing started…oh…about the year 2000.  I know.  I count the anniversary of Dragon Laffs from 2006, that’s the year it kind of went beyond it’s roots.  It started out as a newsletter, jokes list to family.  My wife comes from a very large family, my own is less than half her size.  But they were included, too.  Some of them are still subscribers…and have been with me since the beginning.  It was sent out as an email.  Well, before that, it was printed on paper and sent out through the mail.

But it was always something more than just a newsletter or a jokes list.  It was a family, staying together and helping each other by laughing through the bull shit that permeates our world and is so easy to get us down.  It was a part of me, part of my heart.  I agonized over every word, every joke. 

Then some of the family asked me if I could include the email addresses of some of their friends, not for the family information so much, as for the jokes and essays and stuff.  And I said sure.  At the time I was doing this I was working as a freelance writer as well as working full time.  I was getting stuff sold and really doing well so my craft was improving, just from the act of putting word to paper.  Well, my actual writing career got put on hold when the making of money for those luxuries like electricity, food and medicine weren’t being taken care of and I had to take a second (and at some points third and fourth) job to make ends meet.

But I never gave up this, because it was the interaction.  The support and payback that I got when someone would write to me and tell me that I helped them get through the day with a laugh or that an article that I wrote or included touched them in some way.

Well, to make a long story short, it took off from there.  Email addresses were added, by request only, and when it got to the point that my ISP was shutting me down because they thought I was spamming, I figured it was time to move on to a new level.   When I first switched from email to a yahoo groups format I had over 1000 subscribers.    I lost almost half of them with the first move.  But it was built back up eventually and through it all, the feeling that this was something more than just a “newsletter” or a “jokes list” persisted.

Along about this time Lethal Leprechaun joined in and took part of the weight off my shoulders and we decided that yahoo groups was a crappy place to be and we wanted to expand to bigger and better things and do more than what we’ve already done.  We wanted to touch more people.  We again lost about half when we moved to word press.  But we thought we’d found a home.

Due to financial problems we had to cut down to two times a week.  I know that both of us would love to have the money and more importantly, the time to give you more than that and we hope to someday be able to do that.

But, we need to feel needed. 

We need to feel like what we are doing here means something.

This is not just a blog, where the only thing we really care about is that we get enough hits so we can make extra money off the advertisers.  Nope.  We actually pay extra, every year, to keep the ads OFF our pages.  Because this is more than that.

At least to us.

We thought it was to you, too.  From our loyal readers and commenters, again, look at the list below, you’ll see who a lot of them are, and you others…the Vets, the retirees on fixed incomes, the disabled who worked their asses off just to see themselves get hurt and pushed off to the sides…we know we make a difference to you, because you’ve written and told us so.  We know you’re out there and we don’t want to give you up.

So, don’t worry about the donations.  (Of course if you still want to give, by all means hit the donation button for PayPal or write to me for the regular mail address and I’ll send it to you).  If you support us in your heart.  If we make a difference in your day twice a week.  Then I want you to do two things.  I want you to hit a star, even if it’s one star and I want you to click on the comments at the bottom of the issue and tell us we matter to you.  That’s all you have to say.  You can even cut and paste it from right here: You matter to me.

That’s it.

Because if we’re not reaching anyone with this…. well, then I can do more for my family by giving them the 10-12 hours a week that I put into this.  I could work a part time job and give my family a little extra something.  But I want to give this to you, my other family, all of you who already reside in my heart.  I want to give it to you, too.

Here’s that list of names I was telling you about:

Joseph C. Jersey Girl K2 Henry C. Leah H.
Fred S. Philip S. James C. Henry S. Henry H.
Jonathon J. Danny M. Laurie F. Gail B. Lona T.
Dale A. Diaman Ginny Don C. Robert B.
Jessica C. Ray T. Kristine M. Joseph C. again Susan W.
Donald M. Joe P. Bruce C. Vincent C. Kevin A.
Tom H. Margaret C. Garth B. Scott H.

Now,let’s get started!  I’ve got a couple of neat things that I want to try with this issue, so ….

coollogo_com-10445687

Let’s start right out with a picture send in by my brother the Owl:  He asks, “Do you think someone  was bored at work?
Yeah, I think so!
6

 

Have you guys heard of this great new comedian?  His name is Louis Farrakhan.  And he’s hilarious!!!  This guy is great!  Check out this headline:
The CIA created Ebola and AIDS to kill off black people.3
Is that not the funniest thing you’ve ever heard?
I’m sorry, Ginny is trying to get my attention, hold on a second.

As Impish steps down from his log, you can still hear his side of the conversation due to his mic still being on…
Uh huh….
Uh huh….
Seriously?  He’s a what?  What the hell kind of minister says shit like that?
Oh.  Of Islam?
Are you kidding me?  No…. well, geez, that changes thing quite a bit. 

Impish slowly returns to his usual position. Shaking his head, he looks up at you. 

Well, I guess it’s kinda of funny here, but … um … believe it or not, this Farrakhan guy is actually a minister of Islam.  NOT a comedian.  Geez.  You know, after reading that article I would’ve sworn he was a comedian, cause if he really believes the shit he is spouting and getting SO MANY well documented historical facts wrong, including who was president when and who their staff was, then he is one screwed up individual.

If that’s the case, I can’t believe he has much of a congregation.  Truly, who would listen to such an obvious moron.  He can’t possibly …

You watch this time as Diaman scurries up to our beloved dragon and whispers in his ear.  He leans back and exclaims:

Millions of followers!!!  Are you fucking kidding me??!! 

Hearing his own expletive echo across the campground, Impish sheepishly says:

I’m really sorry.  That was an accident.  I just can’t believe what I’m learning to be true.  I tell you what, here’s the article from the Liberty Unyielding website.  See for yourself why I thought he was a comedian:

Nut-job Louis Farrakhan’s latest: The CIA created Ebola (and AIDS) to kill off black people

 

 

 

Professional bigot and hater Louis Farrakhan has crawled out from under his rock once again to spew another hatred-filled tome. His latest revelation is a CIA weapon “that can be put in a room where there are Black and White people, and it will kill only the Black and spare the White, because it is a genotype weapon that is designed for your genes, for your race, for your kind.”

His latest rant is called “Justifiable Homicide, Black Youth In Peril,” and it’s a whopper. He talks about the U.S. government’s desire for world depopulation:

You guys really need to read the rest of this Dwarf Dung.  And you can here: http://libertyunyielding.com/2014/10/04/nut-job-louis-farrakhans-latest-cia-created-ebola-aids-kill-black-people/

Okay, I need to sit down for a few minutes…you guys go ahead without me for a while.  I’ll catch up.

1072

 

coollogo_com-26199283

DragonPapa1 (269)

Editorial Meeting at Dragon Laffs and Leprechaun Laffs Electronic Media (DL&LLEM) LLP

 

This is quite thought provoking

CATCHING PIGS
There was a chemistry professor in a large college that had some exchange students in the class. One day while the class was in the lab, the professor noticed one young man, an exchange student, who kept rubbing his back and stretching as if his back hurt. The professor asked the young man what was the matter. The student told him he had a bullet lodged in his back. He had been shot while fighting communists in his native country who were trying to overthrow his country’s government and install a new communist regime.

In the midst of his story, he looked at the professor and asked a
strange question. He asked: “Do you know how to catch wild pigs?”

The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punch line.

The young man said that it was no joke. “You catch wild pigs by finding
a suitable place in the woods and putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it and begin to come every day to eat the free corn.“When they are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they are used to coming. When they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you put up another side of the fence. “They get used to that and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side.

“The pigs, which are used to the free corn, start to come through the
gate to eat that free corn again. You then slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd. Suddenly the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around and around inside the fence, but they are caught. Soon they go back to eating the free corn. They are so used to it that they have forgotten how to forage in the woods for themselves, so they accept their captivity.”

The young man then told the professor that is exactly what he sees
happening in America. The government keeps pushing us toward Communism/Socialism and keeps spreading the free corn out in the form of programs such as supplemental income, tax credit for unearned income, tax exemptions, tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments not to plant crops (CRP), welfare, medicine, drugs, etc. while we continually lose our freedoms, just a little at a time.
One should always remember two truths: There is no such thing as a free lunch, and you can never hire someone to provide a service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself.

If you see that all of this wonderful government “help” is a problem
confronting the future of this great Republic, you might want to send this on to your friends. If you think the free ride is essential to your way of life, then you will probably delete this email. But, God help us all when the gate slams shut!
Quote for today:
“The problems we face today are there because the people who work for a living are now outnumbered by those who vote for a living.” — Anonymous

1073

 

coollogo_com-26197552

Okay, this is a truly awful one.  Feel free to blame Stephanie for the upcoming groan that will undoubtedly soon emanate from your belly section.
3a

 

In a recent survey carried out for Brut, a leading men’s toiletries firm, people from Detroit and Chicago have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower!

In the survey, 86% of Detroit’s and Chicago’s inner city residents said that they have enjoyed sex in the shower.

The other 14% said they hadn’t been to prison yet.

 

1074

 

This is adorably cute.  This dog won’t come in because it thinks the door is closed….

 

coollogo_com-172672514

f2009082201

Just wanted to show you another member of the DL & LL Electronic Media Enterprises.  We have our own internal and external messenger service and this is the team captain.

 

May I present: 5 Unshakable Facts!  Submitted by the Owl

 

1. A  girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up  when he starts removing it.

2. We all love to spend lots of money buying  new clothes but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed  without clothes.

3. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is  nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks –  PRICELESS.

4. Breaking News: Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore. A  friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman’s  husband.

5. Arguing over a girl’s bust size is like choosing between  Coors, Fosters, Carlsberg & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences,  but will grab whatever is available.

 

1075

3d

 

1076

 

coollogo_com-8789650

 

8j

Okay, so this one isn’t so bad…get a tow truck…maybe some repair work..

 

8k

This is just plain mean…funny as hell … but just plain mean.

 

 

8l

Sure, I like this color…it’s nice.  Right?

 

 

8m

That’s one hell of an inconvenient sink hole.  I’m hoping it’s a sink hole because the only other alternative is that he parked there and that…. well….that’s just dumb.

 

 

8n

This one is just cool.  It’s pretty easy to see what happened and how it happened, but do you have any idea how fast he must’ve been going to get that kind of height?  You know it was down south and you also know what the last words were that he spoke before he hit the gas…. “Hold my beer and watch this!”

 

Okay, this is just plain crazy!  Try to figure out how nobody got hurt in this crazy car crash!

 

 

1077

 

 

1

Discovery  Announcement ~ The densest element in the known Universe has finally been  found.

Pelosium:
A  major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science.  The new element has been named Pelosium.  Pelosium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 223 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of  311.

These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

The symbol of Pelosium is PU.

Pelosium’s mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons within the Pelosium molecule, leading to the formation of isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in voting concentration.

5d

 

I want to thank Leah for sending this one to me.  I finally got to it in my deep email box.  I would like to make a special announcement about this one.  It’s entitled Ronald Reagan: A Soldier’s Pledge.  Then it says: Listen, Learn, Remember.  I’d like to add…loud enough for him to hear:  HEY OBAMA!!!!  THIS OUGHT TO ANSWER ALL YOUR QUESTIONS ON WHY, WE AMERICANS, ARE THE WAY WE ARE AND WHY YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND US!!!!!

And if he doesn’t like it, then ……

5i2

 

 

1078

 

To tell you how bad it gets around here sometimes, we had a little problem last week at DL&LL Electronic Media corporate headquarters.  We had to have a doctor come in and administer a memory test to some of the staff after Ginny and Diaman came parading through in their bikinis. 

You see, the indoor water center is under construction and they were asked to try out some of the different swimming and sunbathing locations.  Well, you’ve all seen the  pictures that we’ve posted of their posteriors so you’ll understand why this memory test was so important.

So it was Myself, Lethal and Terrance who stood wide eyed in the hallway as they passed and it was soon after that the doctor was called in.

The doctor says to Lethal, “What’s three times three?”

And Lethal’s answer was, “274.” (Well, honestly, I’ve seen his billing and this might not really be such a bad answer for him.)

The doctor then asks Terrance the same question, “What’s three times three?”

“Tuesday”, replies the Troll.  (Did I forget to mention that Terrance is one of my assistants and he’s a troll?)

Then the doctor asks me the question, “What’s three times three?”

I reply, “nine.”

“That’s great, Mr. Dragon!” says the doctor.  “How did you come up with that answer?”

“It was easy,” says I.  “I just subtracted 274 from Tuesday.”

Yeah, it’s tough around here sometimes.

 

coollogo_com-261881114

Bad Day

gloryposter

Go Green

Go On

Go To Bed

 

 

Hey, attention all you potential thieves and robbers, I mean survivalists and other interested people.  Here’s a skill that could come in quite handy.  How to pick a lock with a couple of hair pins.

Yeah, I know…what are we teaching our youth?  Well, all you youth out there, forget what I just showed you.  It’s you older, honest people that this was for. 

Oh come on!  I AM from Jersey, after all.  I learned this ability a LONG time ago.

 

5a  Boy, ain’t that the truth.  And it works well with today’s Last word…which you haven’t gotten to yet, so keep reading.

 

This is one of the things that I have to respond to.  Watch to the very end and you’ll see what I mean.

 

It’s going to be a long day for some guys in my profession in Louisiana.

 

1079

 

1080

 

Okay, this is the last video of the issue and it’s a doozy.  If this doesn’t make you laugh, then you’re dead.

 

 

1081

 

1082

 

1083

 

 

1084

 

 

 

1085

 

 

coollogo_com-261881138

You know…we’ve been talking about this whole Ebola thing for several weeks now.  The man in Dallas has died.  If anyone he came in contact with or his family is going to start showing symptoms, that should be happening any day now. 

Now, I’ve got something else for you to think about and it comes in the form of the following article, reprinted in it’s entirety,  from the Common Constitutionalist.  I HIGHLY recommend you check out his website.  Just click on his logo and it ought to take you right there to his home page.

Capture

Maybe Now You Will Close the Border Mr. President

by: the Common Constitutionalist

Who’d have figured that the modern day plague (potentially) may be the cure for illegal immigration?

For years conservatives have struggled against the left and the Chamber of Commerce prostitutes, the establishment Republicans, to stop or at least stem the tide of illegals – to close the border.

No matter what the argument for closing the border, there were always politicians and interest groups standing in the way, trying to tell us what a great deal it will be – what a boon to our economy.

Pleas of stopping drug cartels, gangs and terrorists fall on deaf ears. Nothing can stop the flood.

But now we’re faced with an enemy we can’t see – an enemy we can’t arrest, detain or deport.

Despite the government and their dimwitted accomplices in the media, Ebola is for real and it’s already here. It may be isolated – it may not.

Marine Corps General John F Kelly recently quoted the CDC saying: “By the end of the year, they’re supposed to be 1.4 million people infected with Ebola and 62% of them dying, according to the Centers for Disease Control.”

He went on to describe that if Ebola makes it to Central America, “it’s Katy bar the door, and there will be mass migration into United States. They will run away from Ebola, or if they suspect they are infected, they will try to get to the United States for treatment.”  Okay campers, this is one that I hadn’t considered.  And it’s an all to real possibility.  These people are used to staying under the radar and will continue to infect other people until they die.  This is a very scary scenario. 

And then what do we do – with our border wide open? We already know that Central American governments have conspired over the last several months to export their citizens to America, with the help of Obama and the Mexican government.

We don’t really think they will try to contain the disease in their own countries do we? Of course not!

Illegal minors have already crossed our border spreading tuberculosis, dengue fever and swine flu. Many are beginning to suspect that the Enterovirus-68 was spread by illegal alien minors. EV-68 has already infected thousands of our children and killed at least two so far.  And EV-68 is like a butterfly compared to the freaking Godzilla-like monster that is Ebola.

Anyone and everyone who even suspects they’ve come into contact with an infected person will make a mad dash across our border. And then what?

Well, there’s always that miracle drug ZMapp. It appears to have cured three people so far. Yes, three whole people! And by the way, that’s all they had – enough for three whole people.

Just make more, one might suggest. Good suggestion – and the next batch should be ready sometime in 2015. Yes, it takes several months to produce. That’s why the Liberian Duncan didn’t receive treatment. There was none to give. It wasn’t a racist thing as Jesse Jackson has implied. They just had no more left.  Like we would expect anything less from Jesse.  Geez! 

Now unlike some I’ve heard, I certainly don’t believe president Obama wants an Ebola outbreak here, but I also don’t trust our government to tell us the truth – to be straight with us. They haven’t so far. It seems that CDC director Friedan has done nothing but obfuscate and tell half-truths. He’s more politician than scientist.

So I ask again. Will this be the issue that closes the border? And if not, how many cases of the disease will it take?

I sure hope we don’t have to find out the hard way.

And I’m truly, truly terrified we will.

I can’t see our government closing the borders, the way they NEED to be closed, with military force if necessary, over this.  Hell, I just read another article that says that Obama is warning of even deeper cuts into the military.  Well, here’s that second front that we are now no longer able to fight on and it turns out that it’s in our own back yard.  So, where does our military might go?  Even if they’re smart enough to make these choices, overseas to fight ISIS, who we all know must be destroyed before they make their way here, or close the borders before Ebola gets here first.

Damn, okay Lethal, it’s time.  Time to cash it ALL in and buy that island we’ve been talking about.  I’m in!

coollogo_com-309153307

Posted in Uncategorized | 14 Comments

Leprechaun Laughs # 267 for Wednesday Oct 8th 2014


  image

You enter to see the conference room has been rearranged some. The craft table that had always been in the back of the room is now down front and considerably smaller and fancier. There is no way there is enough food or coffee on the table for 50 people let alone 450. The quality also seems markedly better than the norm. Some new very plush seating has been installed down forward and you can see that many of the seats have what appear to be brass name tags on the back of them. Access to the area seems to be restricted and the vast majority of those who approach are turn away and refused entry to the area by two very insistent CyberLethals who direct those not admitted to what they are refer to as the Bleacher seating. Turning your attention to this area you see rough hewn benches have replaced the previous upholstered auditorium style seating. You can see Ginny & Diamen seated down front along with another habitual early arrival K-Squared.  Two more CyberLethals seem to be moving among the bleacher seats stopping at certain folks whom are Vet’s or disabled and assisting/directing them to to the restricted access area and one of the seats sans name tags where they are greeted warmly by Lethal.  Lethal moves back and forth between talking with those in the new seats and glaring seemingly perturbed at the rest of you.  As soon as the new area is filled Lethal climbs on stage and mounts the podium without waiting for the benches to fill.

Alright! Put a bloody sock in it already! You’re too bleedin’ right there’s been some change hereabouts. Excuse me? I didn’t catch that from back there in Ambivalence Apathy Cheep Skates & Freeloaders Area. You want to know where your Coffee is? It’s down at the Donut Shop in the mezzanine along with your pastry and should set you back anywhere between $3.75 & $5 depending on what you order. This stuff down front? Sorry, that’s only for our loyal supporters who answered our donations call and hence forth have preferred readership status.

See Impish’s issue sort of cheesed me off, well to be honest,  I had other words in mind to describe my reaction but Molly, our censor, and our corporate legal team all had fits of apoplexy when I ran my rough draft remarks past them. Loyal Supporters- I thank you for your largess and assistance keeping the doors open and the lights on for another year. I have to warn you though, your efforts might be damned short lived and we might just be refunding those donations. This is the point where you put those noise canceling headphones in the pockets of your seats on and listen the the music station of your choice. I’ve  few remarks for the rest of this rabble and I do not wish to upset or offend you, because frankly I AM upset and offended by them.

18 wonderfully generous people have donated to help us keep this going. A lousy. Stinking. 4 measly percent. We didn’t ask for $20, not $10, hell we didn’t even ask for a $5. ONE DAMNED DOLLAR! That was ALL we asked for! Now I understand that possibly to some of you that dollar represents your lunch budget for the day and I’m not asking you to cough that last dollar up for us. However don’t try pissing on my leg and telling me its raining with the story that’s the situation with all remaining 429 of you non donors!

I sent Impish an e-mail today, I’m sure he’ll read it in the morning as like me he was busy working his ass off, got called into work last night on an emergency but still manage to find time to get the issue out for you 429 who apparently don’t even think it’s worth a stinking buck a year. In that e-mail I told him its my feeling that if we cannot get 10% of you to donate regardless of how much it is then we’re wasting our time here and might as well draw the line in the sand and say “No further! We’re insulted, mad as hell and not taking slap in the face laying down again this year!”

See I got a little wake up call this week from my Programing Professor. Apparently my work in class has been good enough that he’s turned me on to the possibility of working from home as a subcontractor,  doing some changes to existing programs in the language I’m learning. A local company wants to hire some students with the possibility of going full time once I finish my certificate. RIGHT NOW I can be using the 4 to 6 hours a week I spend getting LL out and administrating the blog on updating and cleaning up their programs FOR $18/hr.!

That’s an extra $350 per month or just over $4200/year IN MY POCKET AFTER TAXES.  On the other hand there are you 429 freeloaders who can’t even be bothered to donate a lousy buck, something you’d think nothing of giving to a bum or homeless guy just to get rid of him but won’t give to keep us around. Any wonder I’m looking at this the way I am?

Don’t think I’m the only bad guy here. Impish is on board with my point of view and agrees.  In fact he liked what I had to say last week about the situation and encouraged me to amplify on it this week. Of course when he said that he had NO idea what  effect his facts and figure were going to have on my Leprechaunish temper. HELL  since I’m speaking the plain truth I’ll even admit he’s read and APPROVED this message. He’d probably like to have said it himself but he’s just too polite, diplomatic and reserved to be as direct upfront and blunt about it as I am.

I can understand if you are leery about using a credit card or debit card online or frightened of PayPal retaining your data given all the stuff in the news lately. However Impish has said to contact him and he’s give you his address to send a check to. Here is the email address for contact so you have no excuses:

image

‘But Lethal! It’ll costs almost the $1 I’m going to send to send it by check!””’ I can hear some of you whining already. Let me just say-

1.) Not my problem, even at $2 spent (and us only getting one of them) that’s still a damned cheap subscription price!

2.) Do I look like an idiot? Put the $1 bill in a sheet of paper stick it in the envelope and save the cost of the check then! Don’t tell me you don’t do that with Birthday Cards still!  If you’re sending us more (like a stack of untraceable bills) I suggest one of those padded manila envelopes and reinforcing the top and bottom with tape. The point is cash is happily and gratefully accepted so you have no excuse.

Today is OCT 8th. We limit our fund raising requests to 2 weeks both because we don’t like begging and can’t stand the insulting lack of support being rubbed in our faces any longer than that. This year’s Drive closes at Midnight on Saturday the 11th.

I want to see donations from 45 people total that’s 10% of you. NO I will NOT count Ginny twice or anyone else who ups their donation. That’s not fair to them to expect them to give to save your sorry butts from having to. I don’t care if its just the lousy dollar we asked for- that was all we ever wanted in the first place. Just one dollar from each of you!

NOW what I want is the 10% participation number.

If not, on Sunday next, Impish and I WILL be having a frank and hard talk about what happens next and you can bet that dollar you saved that something WILL happen and the vast majority of you won’t like it.

As for you kind supporters who donated, our known Vet’s and those whom we already know are legitimately on a fixed income &/or disabled fear not. First let me say that while we will happily accept donations from our Vet’s and those who are less abled we will not be making it a requirement for your inclusion in the possible evolution of the blog. Our Vet’s have certainly already paid their subscription to basically anything we do in our opinions and as for those differently abled folks lets say we identify and understand that other things legitimately take priority and have no intention of making you choose between you necessities and us. Secondly, when have you known for there not to be a plan in my mad ranting?  I’ve something in mind to keep you folks happy and any others who wisely choose to join you. It might take us a bit of doing and might not happen before the blog would close but it will happen. We love you guys as much as you love us and you don’t deserve the same fate as the rest of the readership.

Oh, and as for you folks who regularly send us stuff to include or make comments regular and are thinking this doesn’t mean/include me? THINK AGAIN! Talk is cheap. Actions speak much louder and clearer than words. Hitting ‘Forward’ on an email is easy and painless. Everyone is your friend until they have to do something  for that friendship. Time for you too to put a dollar where your forwarding button is.

You hear a rattling overhead and see a chain mesh security curtain like the ones on closed stores at the mall descending between the benches and the Red Roped off area extending wall to wall.

Now if you skinflint blog welfarians will excuse us, the Loyal Supporters Club and I have a ‘Breakfast with the Dragon and Leprechaun Buffet’ function to attend in the Executive Dining Room to thank them for not having to twist their arms. The rest of you will have to make do with the issue. Enjoy it as it’s probably one of the last most of you’ll be receiving. I suggest you keep a close eye on the participation level Impish’s Donation Updates I’m sure after he reads this there will be one.

Opening Logo 6

5eff75b26290913a8250499b

image

 

 image

Must be why he’s such a T-shirt reader. I think he keeps hoping to find one in braille!

TRAVEL PLANS FOR 2015

I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Kahoots. Apparently, you can’t go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone.

I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don’t have an airport; you have to be driven there.  I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I’m not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often. I’ve been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I’m in Capable, and I go there more often as I’m getting older. One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It  really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need  all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, but I don’t remember what country I was in. It’s an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there!

I hope everyone is happy in your head – we’re all doing pretty well in mine!

From a former world traveler!

image

10 Reasons I’m Not a Democrat: PART II

 

image

 

image

image

image

image

image

image

Stovetop Lasagna

image

 

Total Time: 30 min
Prep: 10 min
Cook: 20 min
Yield: 4 servings
Level: Easy

 

 

 

 

Ingredients

Kosher salt
7 lasagna noodles (about 4 ounces)
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for drizzling
1 pound ground meatloaf mix, such as beef, pork and veal
2 cups tomato sauce
1/8 teaspoon red pepper flakes
3 cups baby spinach
1/3 cup ricotta cheese
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
6 tablespoons grated parmesan cheese
1/4 cup thinly sliced fresh basil

Directions

Preheat the broiler. Fill a wide pot with 3 inches of salted water and bring to a boil. Add the noodles and cook until al dente, about 11 minutes, then drain, transfer to a cutting board and halve crosswise.

Meanwhile, heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the ground meat and cook, stirring, until browned. Add the tomato sauce and red pepper flakes and simmer 5 minutes. Add the spinach and stir until it wilts, then add the ricotta and bring to a low simmer. Season with salt and remove from the heat. Toss the mozzarella and 4 tablespoons parmesan in a bowl.

Cover the bottom of an 8-inch-square baking dish with a layer of slightly overlapping lasagna noodles. Top with half of the meat sauce and half of the cheese mixture. Repeat with another layer of noodles and the remaining meat sauce and cheese mixture. Cover with the remaining noodles and sprinkle with the remaining 2 tablespoons parmesan. Drizzle lightly with olive oil and broil until golden and bubbling, 3 to 5 minutes. Top with the basil.

Per serving: Calories 671; Fat 33 g (Saturated 14 g); Cholesterol 123 mg; Sodium 747 mg; Carbohydrate 49 g; Fiber 5 g; Protein 44 g

Beef Taco Noodle Casserole

Egg noodle casserole recipe with seasoned ground beef, Southwest vegetables, tomatoes and cheese

 

 

 

Prep time: 15 min

Cooking Time 30 min

Total: 45

Makes: 6 servings (1/6th recipe each)

Ingredients:

  • No-Stick Cooking Spray
  • 6 ounces  Extra Wide Egg Noodles, uncooked
  • 1 pound ground chuck beef (80% lean)
  • 2 cups frozen Southwest mixed vegetables (corn, black beans, red peppers)
  • 1 can (10 oz. ) Diced Tomatoes & Green Chilies, undrained
  • 1 can (10 oz. ) red enchilada sauce
  • 1-1/4 cups water
  • 1-1/4 cups shredded Mexican blend cheese
  • 1/4 cup thinly sliced green onions
  • Sour cream, optional

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 400°F. Spray 13×9-inch glass baking dish with cooking spray. Place uncooked noodles in baking dish.
  2. Heat large skillet over medium-high heat. Add beef; cook 5 to 7 minutes or until crumbled and no longer pink. Drain. Add vegetables, undrained tomatoes, enchilada sauce and water to skillet; stir. Bring to a boil. Pour mixture over noodles.
  3. Cover dish tightly with foil; bake 15 minutes. Stir; sprinkle with cheese and cover with foil. Bake 10 minutes more or until noodles are tender. Sprinkle with green onions. Serve with sour cream, if desired.

Nutritional Information:

6 servings (1/6th recipe each) Calories 413; Total Fat 19 g (Saturated Fat 8 g); Cholesterol 101 mg; Sodium 598 mg; Carbohydrate 33 g; (Dietary Fiber 5 g, Sugars 5 g); Protein 26 g; Percent Daily Values*: Vitamin A 7%; Vitamin C 30%; Calcium 20%; Iron 18%

* Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet.

Recipe Warning

 

Salted Caramel Mocha Brownies

image_thumb2

 

Yield – 16 brownies

Preparation Time – 10 minutes

Cooking Time – 35 minutes

Ingredients

  • 2 ounces semisweet baking chocolate, chopped
  • 1/2 cup butter
  • 2 cups chocolate chips, divided
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
  • 2 tablespoons cocoa powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 packet (or 1 tablespoon) instant coffee granules
  • 1/2 cup of caramel bits
  • about 2 tsp. sea salt

Directions

  • Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Grease an 8×8-inch glass baking dish with nonstick cooking spray.
  • In a large, microwave-safe mixing bowl, add the chopped baking chocolate, butter, and 1 cup of the chocolate chips. Microwave on high for 11⁄2 minutes. Whisk the melted butter into the melted chocolate.
  • Whisk the sugar, vanilla, flour, cocoa powder, and salt into the butter-chocolate mixture. Whisk the eggs and instant coffee granules into the batter. Whisk for about 1 minute, or until the batter is smooth. Fold in the remaining 1 cup chocolate chips and then stir in the caramel bits. Drop the sea salt all over the top of the batter, pinchful at a time.
  • Pour the batter into the greased baking dish. Bake in the preheated oven for 30 to 35 minutes until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Let cool slightly before cutting and serving.

Carmel bits are something relatively new and available in the baking aisle near the chocolate chips.

image

Aircraft Hits Buildings

This is tough to see. It just shows the dangers of attending these events.        

Amazing photo below shows great detail.

The pilot at low level had no control over his aircraft.

It narrowly misses a crowd gathered for the air show and slams into four buildings.
One can only imagine the horror of the occupants inside those buildings.

No one was killed, but it probably scared the crap out of them.

!cid_X_MA1_1412090771@aol

Unfortunately as I understand it there was no permanent damage to any of the buildings in the Obama Presidential Library and Muslim Cultural Center Complex

image

ideas_for_the_weekend_20_photos16_1411880524

image

image

Coast guard rescues man running across ocean in an inflatable bubble

NN – An ultra-marathoner trying to “run” from Florida to Bermuda in a human-powered inflatable bubble was rescued Saturday morning after he signaled for help, the Coast Guard said.

Reza Baluchi, according to his website, has set a goal of running across more than 190 recognized nations to encourage world peace.

The Coast Guard first encountered Baluchi on Wednesday after receiving a report about a man in a bubble off the coast of Miami, disoriented and asking for directions to Bermuda, a Coast Guard press release said. It was not clear when he started his quest.

A Coast Guard cutter found Baluchi. Officials described the craft as a “hydro pod bubble” and a man in a 2013 YouTube video called a Baluchi bubble “a big hamster wheel.” It moved along the ground as Baluchi ran inside.

In the press release, the Coast Guard said Baluchi had protein bars, bottled water, a GPS and a satellite phone. The Coast Guard conveyed the voyage’s dangers and asked Baluchi to quit his journey because he didn’t have enough supplies. But he wouldn’t leave his vessel, officials said.

The Coast Guard monitored his progress and on Saturday morning an exhausted Baluchi activated his personal locating beacon, the Coast Guard said.

A Coast Guard HC-130 airplane and MH-60 helicopter, along with the vessel Maersk Montana, were sent to rescue Baluchi 70 nautical miles east of St. Augustine, the Coast Guard said.

He was exhausted and taken to the Coast Guard air station in Clearwater, where his medical condition was evaluated. There were no reported injuries, the Coast Guard said.

“Part of his effort was to make world peace but he got caught up in the Gulf Stream,” said Coast Guard public affairs specialist Mark Barney. “The chances of muscling out of the Gulf Stream were pretty low.”

Baluchi could not be reached for comment, but a video posted on Baluchi’s Facebook page described his plans to travel in the bubble across the Caribbean, as well as his other athletic exploits.

The CNN.com story quoted Baluchi saying he’d run across the United States twice and around its perimeter once. He fled Iran to escape persecution, he said. Now he is an American citizen.

“Reza doesn’t listen to anyone,” Davis Hyslop, a businessman and one of Baluchi’s supporters, said in the 2012 story. “He has these outsized ambitions that he sets his mind to. He’s a success above and beyond anyone’s expectations. It’s almost biblical. But you gotta be a little crazy to undertake such an endeavor, right?”

image

image

We get mail from some of you. Occasionally someone thinks they are funnier and smarter than Impish or I. This usually involves them trying to make jokes at our expense. A threat or lesson is generally required when this occurs.

The latest one to exhibit this wrong thinking us Paul B. Who sent us this under the Subject line: “NOT SAYING EITHER OF YOU ARE OLD — BUT——-“

 

Video is 15 minutes long so I suggest filling your cup first and getting comfy.

Well as you all know I recently had my 54th Birthday. When 30 rolled around that one stung a little, 35 wasn’t too bad, 40 stung worse, 45 was nothing, 50 was a root canal. I was expecting 54 to be “meh another birthday’ but the realization of how short the time between 53 and 54 seemed and the greater epiphany of how short the time between 50 and 54 seemed sunk in. I realized 55 was likely to hurt as much as a broken arm when it arrives. In short I was feeling my age and didn’t need any reminders of it humorous or other wise so I probably didn’t take the whole thing all that well and failed to find it funny enough to let Paul get away with it Scott free.

The problem arose when the standard threat of a nocturnal visit from the my Ninja cat minions was issued to Paul. He wasn’t having any of it. Impish, his voice aquiver tried to warn Paul. Nope apparently either Paul is slower on the uptake than molasses International Falls in January, this is Paul the crazy cat guy:

Or he fancies himself some sort of Cat Whisperer because he basically invited the Ninja Cat Clan to come visit him.

So with my message either not sinking in (possibly due to senility) or outright ignored the first time around I was forced to find another way to get my message across. Then it hit me, if Paul is such an expert on being old and what its all about I should make use of his knowledge! SO-

WELCOME TO OUR NEW REGULAR FEATURE!

image

Impish- looks like you might have someone to share the attention of that Phantom Maniacal Bus Driver with from now on!

Paul- now you know why that laugh was so sadistically evil, TOLD YOU you’d get yours pal!

The rest of you, or at least our loyal donating supporters-  watch for more senile sage words on aging from Paul in future issues!

grumpy life

Anti hyprocracy Curmudgeon

Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments

Donation update.


donation

Good Evening Campers,

It’s time for another donation update.  I know a lot of you are probably getting really tired of seeing these and not getting any chuckles out of it.  So today, after, I give you the update, I’ll throw in a couple of laughs to make it a little easier to get through.  And for those of you who are really getting tired of it, take heart.  All will be over by Sunday… one way or another.

Here’s a total list of all our contributors to date:

Joseph C. Jersey Girl Ginny K2 Henry C. Leah H.
Fred S. Philip S. James C. Henry S. Henry H.
Jonathon J. Danny M. Laurie F. Gail B. Lona T.
Dale A. Diaman Jersey Girl Ginny Don C. Robert B.
Jessica C. Ray T. Kristine M. Joseph C.  

24 out of 447 members.  Okay, so take away 2 members for Lethal and I and take away one donation since the Jersey Girl gave twice and we have 23/445 or 5.4%.  Ahem. 
Not to put too fine a point on it but, really?  That’s the best we can do?
It’s not we’re asking for a lot.  We even told you that a buck a piece would do it.  Some of these wonderful people above have given a LOT more than that.
Come on folks, show us some support!

Okay, that’s the end of my plea for today…

1066

1067

1068

1069

 

 

1070

1071

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Dragon Laffs #1405


donation

Good Morning Campers,

I’d like to start out today’s issue by inviting a couple of people up on stage with me.  Diaman and Ginny, can you come up here please?
The two girls are waiting off to the side and begin to make their way slowly up to the log where Impish normally sits through his opening monologue.  You can see that they are both moving slowly and showing signs of hurting but they make the journey with smiles (possibly smiles of trepidation) on their lips.
While they make their way to the front, why don’t we review the donations list…

Joseph C. Ginny the Jersey Girl K2 Henry C.
Leah H. Fred S. Philip S. James C.
Henry S. Henry H. Jonathon J. Danny M.
Laurie F. Gail B. Lona T. Dale A.
Diaman Ginny the Jersey Girl again Don C.

Let’s see… 19 people (Counting Ginny twice) out of 447 registered subscribers…. that’s 4.3%.  Come on folks, lets get it up to 10% anyway!  Don’t you want to be a 10 percenter?  This will probably be our last final push to get our annual bills paid.  I’ve got to send a check to wordpress at the end of the week, so now’s the time.  Let’s push it over the top!

Diaman steps up to the front first.
Dragon Laffs have been a very important part of my life for several years. In the beginning, they came daily and every day my day started with a huge laugh or giggle. Now Laffs only come on Wed. & Fri., the two very special days of my week. Please, my fellow & gal Laffers, send Impish a donation to keep this ezine going.

This is the  best bargain that we get at home or on our cell phones. For the same laughs and giggles, we’d have to go to Walmart at least 4 times a week and I don’t think it’s worth the gasoline to get there…is that donations I hear trickling in?   Be good Laffers and everyone send a dollar. Can you imagine going week after week without DragonLaffs? Pretty dismal, eh?

Thank you very much Diaman.  I’m sure your request will help us out  a lot!
Now, I understand that Ginny would like to say something as well.  As many of you know, Ginny has been very outspoken in the comments section about donations.  Let’s hope she doesn’t bring the family into her talk today.

“Donation”, something we all think about around the holidays.  But, what about the other times….and what is the cause we are donating to?  Is it worthy of our hard earn dollar, well if it means something to you … hell YES!

Of course I am especially talking about Dragon Laffs and the wonders of Impish Dragon and Lethal Leprechaun.

They make us forget our problems and worries every Wednesday and Saturday.  This is why I felt I wanted  to become the Jersey Girl cheerleader for their annual 2014 Blog fundraiser I thought it was a great way to show our appreciation to both of them with any donation you can afford.  So I’m hoping this will be their very best year.

By the way, Impish and I have discussed this before, but you will be able to figure out what I’m talking about real quick.  Went to the Sand Casino in Bethlehm PA to see Last Comic standing.  No my Jersey Boy didn’t hit another big one…..but I play a slot machine with a GREEN DRAGON.  Long story short…..I can home with all the money I went with and $38.  So because the Dragon was good to me, I am spitting the $38 in half and will make another $19 donation.

Ginny, thank you ever so much.  And you didn’t threaten rip anyone’s lungs out or anything.  Very nice.  And thank you for your second donation.  It is deeply appreciated and much needed.  Thank you to ALL of our donators.  Your generosity and selflessness is deeply appreciated.

Okay, on to bigger and better things.

coollogo_com-16927796Lethal and I have been given special awards.  And I think all of you deserve to get this award as well.  Please feel free to cut and paste this into a picture program, print it out and post it in a prominent place.
1b1I’ll show you exactly where I posted mine!
4This is the front to my dragon lair…..obviously….but the entrance that I use in the form you see me in now.  My small (and admittedly adorably cute) blue form.  You’ll notice there is no street address visible.  That’s not because I don’t want any of you to visit, by all means, you are all welcome at any time, but it is a bit difficult to get to if you can’t fly.  But somehow the junk mail seems to find me, even out in my mountain lair.

4a
Yup.  That’s about right.  The Whelpling struggled with this awful disease when he was but a wee dragon and still going to dragon school.  But he overcame it without the use of drugs and I’m awfully proud of him for it.

4f

Accounting?  Accounting!! Well, I guess if I have to…
Wait!
I have a job.  Actually, I have more than one job.  Whew!
Sorry dude.  You’re on your own.

 

Up close and personal with a volcano!  Modern technology is a cool thing when we get to see stuff like this.

Wasn’t that cool?  I think that’s one of the neatest thing about what technology can offer us.  And to be able to see it, right here on your own computer.

coollogo_com-26562107

d2014091801

One of my favorite dragon pics of all time.  Isn’t she adorable?

And speaking of adorable…you’ve got to watch this short video.  This is absolutely precious!

 

A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
 
Thank Goodness Catholics have a wonderful sense of humor! I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents; embezzled from his employer; had an affair with his boss’s wife; had sex with his boss’s 17 year old daughter on numerous occasions; taken illegal drugs; had several homosexual affairs; was arrested several times for public nudity and gave VD to his sister.
 
I was appalled that one person could do so many awful things. But as the days went on, I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.
 
Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk: “Ill never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived, said the politician. In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession.”

Moral:
Never, Never, Never Be Late

 

4b

 

Okay, this is a way cool flow chart brought to you by the friends at makeuseof.com This one is called, How strong is your attention span?  Nice, right?
6a

 

coollogo_com-897717

f2009082401

One of our minor security minions.  Looks fierce right?
And the guy behind her is security too.

 

Little Johnny came home from school one day slightly confused. His mother was Jewish and his father was black.
 
So Johnny asks, “Mommy, am I more Jewish or more black ?”
 
“What does it really matter ?” his mother tells him, “If you want to know for sure you’ll just have to ask your father,”
 
So, when his father arrived home from work, Little Johnny asks the same question, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black? ”
 
“What the hell kind of a question is that ? Why do you want to know if you’re more Jewish or more black ?” asks his dad.”
 
“Well, it’s like this dad… Tommy down the street wants to sell his bicycle for $50, and I don’t know whether to Jew him down to $25, or wait until it’s dark and just steal the fuckin’ thing.”

 

4d

You know, sometimes I think the exact same thing!

 

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.

He told the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.”

The rancher said, “Okay , but don’t go in that field over there…..”, as he pointed out the location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, ” Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me !”

Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.

“See this badge?!  This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish…. On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!!  Have I made myself clear……do you understand ?!!”

The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis bull……

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he’d sure enough get gored before he reached safety.  The officer was clearly terrified.

The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs…..

“Your badge, show him your BADGE…….. ! !”

 

4e

 

coollogo_com-8789650

8e

8f

8g

8h

8i

 

Now, knowing that I know just a tiny bit about Ebola, Anthrax and a lot of nasty stuff, because it’s all part of my job, I present this little essay to you with tongue slightly in cheek, to show you how bad it’s become with this idiot in office.

Ebola – Don’t Panic – We Got This

by: the Common Constitutionalist

Our government has it all under control and we should believe them. After all, they’ve done so well with literally everything else.

We see how well this administration has handled Iraq and Afghanistan, not to mention ISIS, so far. The Obamacare website is running like a Swiss watch, or is that a Yugo.

They’ve brokered peace between Israel and the Palestinians. Oh wait… they haven’t. Russia and the U.S. have never been closer. Um… Okay, maybe not that one either.

All right, so this administration has made a few mistakes and miscalculations and maybe they haven’t been 100% honest, but hey, we all tell little white lies, don’t we?

But I just know they are all over this Ebola outbreak and I guarantee they are now and will be fully forthcoming about anything we need to know. After all, honesty is the cornerstone of the Obama administration.

So when I heard just recently that the Ebola virus Will Not make it to the United States, naturally I was relieved – that is until the virus made it to the United States.

When I heard rumors that Ebola might mutate into an airborne virus, it was panic time, until the CDC put my mind at ease. They said of the 23 known serious viruses affecting humans, none are known to have mutated in ways that infect humans. Whew! That was a close one. Then they offered this minor caveat: “Of course, we only know about a small portion of the existing viruses.” HUH?

In fact, scientists estimate that the virus has accumulated more than 395 mutations in the last 10 years and has amassed 50 mutations just between June and July of this year. “The longer the outbreak continues, the greater the opportunity the virus has to mutate”, says Charles Chiu, an infectious disease physician at UC San Francisco.

But I heard the CDC director say that Ebola can’t be spread through “Casual Contact”. That it is not an “Airborne” virus. “Direct contact” is the only way to spread the virus.

When interviewed by CNN’s Sanjay Gupta, the CDC director continually said Ebola is not airborne. It can’t be transmitted by “casual contact”. But that is a lie or at least a semi-lie. He said that he and Gupta couldn’t transmit Ebola to one another because they had no “direct” contact. But when another reporter asked whether it could be transmitted if he sneezed on the CDC director, the director laughed nervously and said they would take a hard look at that situation.

Gee, I wonder what he meant by that? Could it be that this is just another government word game, a matter of semantics? It depends on what your definition of “is” is.

Technically speaking, “Airborne” means that discharged microbes remain suspended in the air for long periods of time… The Ebola virus doesn’t react this way. So technically the CDC is correct to the letter of the definition, but they know, judging by the nervous reaction of the CDC director, that this virus can most likely be transmitted through the air via a sneeze or cough, regardless of how they define it.

In fact, Dr. Gary Kobinger, from the national microbiology laboratory at the public health agency of Canada, told BBC News that he believed that the infection was spread through large droplets that were suspended in the air. That sounds a lot like a sneeze or cough to me, but I’m not a scientist.

International health officials have also admitted that the ability of Ebola to spread via contaminated surfaces is why victims in Africa have become infected by riding in taxicabs. This also means any form of public transportation: airplanes, ambulances, subways – may harbor the virus and accelerate the spread of an outbreak.

As I said, I am not a scientist, a doctor or infectious disease expert, but most of us have been blessed with common sense and an ability to read between the government “lines”.

I don’t know how this is going to shake out but the old saying, “When they tell you not panic, that’s when you panic”, may apply in the future.

We however, are supposed to be the “thoughtful” ones, and as such, should already be prepared for when others start to panic.4g

Let’s just pray it doesn’t come to that.

Okay, so he’s overdramatizing, but not by that much.  Ebola can easily be transmitted if someone who has the virus, and is in the contagious stage, sneezes of coughs on you.  But not nearly as easily as the flu or many other type diseases. 

Do I think we will see more cases of Ebola in the US?  Yes, I can almost guarantee that we will.  Will it become the pandemic that we are currently seeing in Africa?  Not even close.

It may be horribly nasty and very ugly little guy, but it’s pretty easy to defend against.

I had a friend of mine mention to me today that doesn’t this seem an awful lot like the Ryan White thing with aids several years ago?  The craziness and the hysteria?  Yeah, it’s like that.  And it’s transferred just about the same way.  With bodily fluid transfer.  The difference?  Aids doesn’t survive as long in the environment than Ebola does.  Aids requires a bodily fluid transfer, but dies very quickly when out of the body.  Ebola requires a bodily fluid transfer, but survives much longer outside the body, so a sneeze or a cough can transfer the virus.

I think this is probably the wrong time to tell you guys that I actually have a plushy Ebola virus… just like the one there to the left.  It was a present to myself when I graduated from Tech School.

LOL. 

Yeah, I’m that crazy.

1058

1059

 

Okay, my favorite, your favorite, all our favorite part of Dragon Laffs….
Motivational2

Give Me

Give up

Glasses

Global Warming

Glock, Paper Scissors

 

 

This delight was sent in by our own Ginny.  She’ll pay dearly for it, too.

Impish and Lethal were fishing on  the Irish shoreline when Impish pulled out a cigar.
Finding he had No matches, he asked  for a light.
 
‘Ya, sure, I tink I haff a lighter,’ Lethal replied and then reaching into his tackle box,
he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long. 

‘My God, man!’ exclaimed Impish, taking the huge Bic lighter in his hands.  ‘Where’d yew git dat monster?’

 
‘Well,’ replied Lethal, ‘I got it from my Genie.’
 
‘You haff a magic Genie?’ Impish asked.
 
‘Ya, sure. It’s right here in my tackle box,’ says Lethal.
 
‘Could I see him?’
 
Lethal opens his tackle box and sure enough, out pops the Genie. 
Addressing the Genie, Impish says, ‘Hey dere! I’m a good pal of your master.

Will you grant me one wish?’
 
‘Yes, I will,’ says the Genie.
 
So Impish asks the Genie for a million bucks.   The Genie disappears back into the tackle box
leaving Impish sitting there waiting for his million bucks.
 
Shortly, the Irish sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks flying directly overhead.
 
Over the roar of the one million ducks Impish yells at Lethal, ‘What the hell?
  I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!’
 
Lethal answers, ‘Ya, I forgot to tell yew dat da Genie is hard of hearing.
Do yew really tink I asked for a 10 inch Bic?’

 

1060

Lethal as a baby?  Impish as a baby?  Could actually be either one of us. 

 

Test of Concentration: Both men and women fail this.  I admit, I did too.
7a

Question : What do you see that is HORRENDOUS?
Scroll down for the answer : 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Results of the Survey :
 
1. 100% of males failed this test. They were distracted by the bosom.
 
2. 100% of the females also failed this test. They were distracted by the wide choice of doughnuts.
 
Answer : There’s a MOUSE on one of the doughnuts!
 

HAVE A NICE DAY !

1061

1062

How’s that again?  Vegetarian Chicken Flavored Ham?  Isn’t that like a 3 way contradiction in terms?

 

1063

As my lovely Mrs. Dragon so succinctly put it, “Exactly!”
And as Robert A. Heinlein (The Greatest Science Fiction who ever lived) said: “Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.”

 

 

 

1064

 

1065

 

So okay, this is where the Last Word usually goes.
But the entire rest of the issue is complete and ready to go and I just got called into work.
I told them I’d be there in ten minutes, which means I have five whole minutes to wrap this issue up and get it posted, so here it goes.
Please donate, we need it and we appreciate it.
Don’t forget to rate this issues with stars at the top of the issue.
Please feel free to post comments below.

Have a great day and some great laughs.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Donation update #2


donation

Good morning campers,

Just thought it would be fair to add to our list of donators.  Here’s a complete list:

Joseph C.
Ginny the Jersey Girl
K2
Henry C.
Leah H.
Fred S.
Philip S.
and 
James C.

And the new ones…..

Henry S.
Henry H.
Jonathon J.
and
Danny M.
Thank you all very much.  It’s really easy to get your name on this list.  Go up to the top right corner of the page, click the donation link and leave us a buck or two.  We’ve got to pay the bills and this is the only time of the year that we ask.  So do your best.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments